If my fecal incontinence is incurable.... can i still live a relatively good life

[Kodname87]

Will I be able to manage it until death? Will it be hard?

 

[Diaperman95]

I only have it a few times a week sometimes more some times less. But I wouldn't let it stop me from a good life I have been bladder IC most my life and all adult years. You do what you have to do and find things you like that make it easier to conceal. Like maybe golf instead of water aerobics. yes there might be somethings harder to do while trying to keep everyone out of your health concerns. But there should be plenty of things to make life enjoyable. My chronic pain and bad joints are my only real limits. If you have your health otherwise I am sure will overcome this. But there are many things that you can try so don't give up and just give in to 24/7 diapers if that not what you want. Sometimes you can train a bowel to empty through enema use the same day every day and it well only empty during use . Sounds bad might beet diapers to some people. Depends on your bowel moves but if its a once a day thing they can be trained. My wife has a ostomy and use to train her bowel once a day and it gets where they only move once a day. But someone with colon issues that goes multiple times a day it would not work. The kegel exercise and biofeedback. If its totally a loss at many times a colostomy might be a option to a better life. But all this comes with talking to your doc. I thing everyone handles things different so what is manageable to one person might be too much for another. But if you can't handle it talk to your doctor and don't be afraid to tell him it has you depressed or worried. I know heath issues can push a person to suicide not saying that's you in anyway or shape but be sure to see the signs before it is. I guess I saying That's all I am saying I know someone first hand who tried and I want everyone on here to be safe and happy. Also for the record my wif has had her colostomy for 22 years and it is so much better than diapers that I use. Hers was due to cancer but its the same type of ostomy they do called a sigmoid ostomy and you keep your bowel they just disconnect the rectum and so the bowel to a opening in the stomach. If I get to the point of multiple times a day I would ask for one myself. just because it is so much easier and hardly any mess as it goes in a bag instead of smearing between the legs. Also most people think a ostomy is the worse and it can be so much better for some..
Again please don't take this as advice to get a ostomy or nothing. I just saying talk to the Doctors because diapers are not the only option and most people accept it as age or what ever else but won't talk to the doctors so they suffer.

Also Not to many months back I was asking some similar things and got much good advice. But we all go through the lows and ask the questions anyway? It makes me feel good I am not alone. Please feel free to pm me when ever if you want too. So hang tough my friend it will get easier. You are not alone

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[Teddy]

While I'm not feral incontinent, I have trained myself to poop once a day. I have an electric bidet with an enema function, so I can clean myself out good in the morning. I rarely have to go again that day. Sometimes again in the evening, or if I have diarrhea from McDonalds lol.

 

[Tundra1975]

I am totally bladder and bowel incontinent for almost 3 years now and wear diapers 24/7 to contain my accidents. I still live a relatively normal life and go where ever I want like any other person. I have never had anyone notice that I am wearing a diaper because I wear jeans that are 1 size larger than I normally wear and that gives the jeans a slightly baggy look which makes my diaper unnoticeable. I normally go into town once every month to pick up supplies. I frequently have wetting accidents in town and an occasional pooping accident in town but I carry a backpack with everything I need to change out of a wet and messy diaper. I know where the best public bathrooms are in town that I can change in complete privacy. There is a learning curve in dealing with total incontinence, but you will learn very quickly how to deal with it. I found the biggest learning curve was figuring out what diaper works best for you to give you the protection you need to keep your accidents completely contained in the diaper.

 

[Zeke]

It’s been my experience that Tundra1975 is correct about the learning curve regarding the best diaper for you. For me it has been cloth contour diapers supplemented with MegaMax and Abena M4’s when I’m away from home for an extended period. Incontinence, both urinary and fecal, hasn’t caused a great deal of inconvenience in my life largely due to me not being employed or having a GI track ailment. If I had IBS, or some other disease that would make my IC unpredictable and painful I sure that I would feel differently, but mine is due to a spinal injury aggravated by a seizure so it causes me no pain or discomfort. Even the few times that my fecal IC surprises me it really doesn’t cause me that much difficulty in my current situation. Keeping a good attitude does seem to make things much less unpleasant and realizing that others have it far worse than I do also helps with my attitude. Hope that you find an acceptable way to deal with your condition.

 

[Diaperman95]

It’s been my experience that Tundra1975 is correct about the learning curve regarding the best diaper for you. For me it has been cloth contour diapers supplemented with MegaMax and Abena M4’s when I’m away from home for an extended period. Incontinence, both urinary and fecal, hasn’t caused a great deal of inconvenience in my life largely due to me not being employed or having a GI track ailment. If I had IBS, or some other disease that would make my IC unpredictable and painful I sure that I would feel differently, but mine is due to a spinal injury aggravated by a seizure so it causes me no pain or discomfort. Even the few times that my fecal IC surprises me it really doesn’t cause me that much difficulty in my current situation. Keeping a good attitude does seem to make things much less unpleasant and realizing that others have it far worse than I do also helps with my attitude. Hope that you find an acceptable way to deal with your condition.

I agree attitude is everything. And a go bag is a must for sure. Lots of wipes and chuck pads. I found I can use a chuck pad to wipe away the big part of the mess before using wipes and it makes it much easier cleaning up in pubic restrooms. At home the shower and hand held head are the easiest for me. But knowing where the restrooms are and what they are like is important. Its funny because where ever I go a new place I always check out the restroom first. even if I don't need to go. I think all IC people learn those habits pretty fast. I am glad to hear it doesn't slow you down.

 

[Zeke]

I agree attitude is everything. And a go bag is a must for sure. Lots of wipes and chuck pads. I found I can use a chuck pad to wipe away the big part of the mess before using wipes and it makes it much easier cleaning up in pubic restrooms. At home the shower and hand held head are the easiest for me. But knowing where the restrooms are and what they are like is important. Its funny because where ever I go a new place I always check out the restroom first. even if I don't need to go. I think all IC people learn those habits pretty fast. I am glad to hear it doesn't slow you down.

A go bag and adequate planning are definite essentials as is the hand held shower attachment. The last item makes cleanup in the shower so much easier that it’s one item that I wish I could take with me. I’m fortunate in that I don’t have to leave home for very long very often so I don’t have to change and clean up in public facilities very often.

 

[hoimi]

Adaptation to your daily life, which is taking control of your lack of control.
The easiest change is high quality, plastic backed diapers. This will give you a literal barrier to obvious accidents in public, and will cut down on laundry (and ruining clothes by introducing difficult to remove smells). This will not stop the actual loss of control. You will still need to find a place to clean up and there could be sounds and smells that you cannot avoid. In another thread, we were chatting about visual cues that we were having an accident, and this is something that most, if not all, of us have. People may notice you going flush, squatting slightly, or giving grunts, even if you don't mean to. Be prepared with a reply if something happens. (When my husband shudders, he says that a 'possum ran over his grave.' As much as it squicks me out, it does shut me up.)
The big one to stop accidents from happening is to learn why they are happening, and adjust your diet and lifestyle to adapt. Enemas ensure a nearly empty colon, which makes it near impossible for accidents. There are little disposable ones that you can use that are pre-lubricated and super convenient. You can also get Enema bags, that are big rubber bags, with tubing that you can attach. Use warm (not cold or hot) water to flush out everything chilling in your low guts. Be careful, by keeping your bag and tubing clean and dry, and make sure you know what you add (if anything) to the water.
If you have IBS, learn your triggers. Cut out certain foods that lead to increased spasms, gas, or bloating. If you have diarrhea after eating Taco Bell, either decide that there shall be no more Taco Tuesdays, or evaluate what is in your meal, and watch for similar symptoms from food containing the same ingredients. (I physically cannot digest Iceberg Lettuce, and I will say that, were I to eat any, it would tear through my body to get out as soon as possible.)
Incontinence shouldn't be fatal. For some people, it is an incident on their worst day. For others, it is their every day. We can do all the right things, and one bad shrimp or bout of Norovirus, can make our bodies lose control. Others don't want to have their lives revolve around their colon, but diseases and injuries can give people a new normal.
It is appropriate to feel strongly about what is happening with your body. Society expects us to be in control of everything in our lives. This is where it is most important to take control of your lack of control. If it is going to be a new constant, grieve and mourn the things that were taken from you, and retake your life.
I wish you luck!

 

[Diaperman95]

Adaptation to your daily life, which is taking control of your lack of control.
The easiest change is high quality, plastic backed diapers. This will give you a literal barrier to obvious accidents in public, and will cut down on laundry (and ruining clothes by introducing difficult to remove smells). This will not stop the actual loss of control. You will still need to find a place to clean up and there could be sounds and smells that you cannot avoid. In another thread, we were chatting about visual cues that we were having an accident, and this is something that most, if not all, of us have. People may notice you going flush, squatting slightly, or giving grunts, even if you don't mean to. Be prepared with a reply if something happens. (When my husband shudders, he says that a 'possum ran over his grave.' As much as it squicks me out, it does shut me up.)
The big one to stop accidents from happening is to learn why they are happening, and adjust your diet and lifestyle to adapt. Enemas ensure a nearly empty colon, which makes it near impossible for accidents. There are little disposable ones that you can use that are pre-lubricated and super convenient. You can also get Enema bags, that are big rubber bags, with tubing that you can attach. Use warm (not cold or hot) water to flush out everything chilling in your low guts. Be careful, by keeping your bag and tubing clean and dry, and make sure you know what you add (if anything) to the water.
If you have IBS, learn your triggers. Cut out certain foods that lead to increased spasms, gas, or bloating. If you have diarrhea after eating Taco Bell, either decide that there shall be no more Taco Tuesdays, or evaluate what is in your meal, and watch for similar symptoms from food containing the same ingredients. (I physically cannot digest Iceberg Lettuce, and I will say that, were I to eat any, it would tear through my body to get out as soon as possible.)
Incontinence shouldn't be fatal. For some people, it is an incident on their worst day. For others, it is their every day. We can do all the right things, and one bad shrimp or bout of Norovirus, can make our bodies lose control. Others don't want to have their lives revolve around their colon, but diseases and injuries can give people a new normal.
It is appropriate to feel strongly about what is happening with your body. Society expects us to be in control of everything in our lives. This is where it is most important to take control of your lack of control. If it is going to be a new constant, grieve and mourn the things that were taken from you, and retake your life.
I wish you luck!

some solid advise spoken.

 

[checkingoutall]

You have been given some great advise here. The quality of life you want to live due to having bowel incontinence is really up to you. It's up to you, what foods you eat, an enema regement to keep cleaned out, what diapers to wear, things to keep with you when you go out and so much more. How badly do you want to keep having a quality of life, going out and about, enjoy the things you use to do? I suggest you take all these great advise and work out what really works best for you. It's sites like this that has really helped me to accept that diapers are just underwear that have to be changed more often and that it's so much easier changing a diaper than your clothes all the time.

 

[Diaperman95]

While I'm not feral incontinent, I have trained myself to poop once a day. I have an electric bidet with an enema function, so I can clean myself out good in the morning. I rarely have to go again that day. Sometimes again in the evening, or if I have diarrhea from McDonalds lol.

Freaking McDonalds could take away any ones bowel control. I use to help a friend of mine a lot and he had part of his colon removed due to cancer and then I have my issues and ever time I help him he feeds me them double cheese burgers and a half hour later we are stopping to find us a restroom. I am just glad he understood my pain. Just never understood why he did it to him self every day.

 

[Diaperman95]

You have been given some great advise here. The quality of life you want to live due to having bowel incontinence is really up to you. It's up to you, what foods you eat, an enema regement to keep cleaned out, what diapers to wear, things to keep with you when you go out and so much more. How badly do you want to keep having a quality of life, going out and about, enjoy the things you use to do? I suggest you take all these great advise and work out what really works best for you. It's sites like this that has really helped me to accept that diapers are just underwear that have to be changed more often and that it's so much easier changing a diaper than your clothes all the time.

That was all said perfect. I also love this site and feel like just joining the conversations makes me realize I am not alone. I even visited with my doc again about my bowels just the other day. I have also shared with some long term friends that never knew. nor suspected. But I never in almost 30 years have felt so normal for having theses issues. Thank you for the share. I am glad this is good therapy for more than me.