Labeling everything that isn't "neurotypical", "normal" behavior as a "mental disorder"is a slippery slope to an oppressive society. Often times that kind of thing just lets others who would already think poorly of you no matter what for being unlike them assert power over you. Not really the best way to find a caretaker...... Also, like, it just isn't. Often times its a lot of overlapping of other things and like anything that you face in life, including mental illness fwiw, you need to learn how to work with it instead of against it. Suppressing how you are is only good for making things worse on yourself. I think a lot of people when they first get into this, or start realizing what they're interested in, their mind jumps to the worst. Don't go jumping to conclusions on us- the more you jump there the more difficult it is to get off that island so to speak. Just relax.
For me personally, ABDL manifests in a way of being that would be considered "immature" by boring work-is-life adults, and I wear diapers because I enjoy the way it feels and they make life more accessible for me with my weak bladder. I wander a lot and reject a lot of responsibilities that everyone else seems to shoulder including "real jobs" and "social hierarchies" . I found my ways to make my money, and the kind of responsibilities that exist in practice of car and home ownership are actually very interesting to me so they aren't "work".
People like me despite that I'm very much not "normal"...but how I am is very much normal for me! And I believe that's the big thing a lot of the n00bs miss; just because those nebulous "other people" don't think its normal doesn't mean its not normal for you. To put the same idea in another context, its not "normal" to speak Italian in the average American town where the majority speaks English, but in Italy it very much is normal, and despite what some of my fellow Americans want to believe its actually not normal to speak English there. capiche?