I think the people who work at a place I regularly go to know I wear nappies?

Status
Not open for further replies.
derek245

derek245

Est. Contributor
Messages
79
Role
  1. Incontinent
I go to a small cafe four times a week and lounge around there for a bit, in that timeframe I almost always end up having an accident and having to go and get a change. I always throw the nappy into the bin and then move out quickly, content that no one will know it's mine. However, the bin is relatively small and doesn't have a lid, so anyone who clears it out will almost certainly notice the soiled garments, and I think the staff have worked out it's me who keeps putting them in. Today and the day before they seemed to be eyeing my butt as I came in and whispering about me to one another, I think I heard one of them giggle at me. The guy who took my order went out of his way to talk to me in a patronizing tone he'd never given me before, and most concerning of all, a waitress randomly told me that the toilets were open anytime I needed them.... (as if I had no idea and this was news to me...) I've gotten paranoid about this sort of thing a lot and I may just be looking too much into it, but I'm genuinely worried they've found me out, that was one of my favorite places to go and now I might not be able to hang out there without fear of humiliation... What do you guys think? and has anything like this happened to you?
 
Derek, It sounds to me as if you may be right about their having figured out that you are the guy who leaves used diapers in the establishment's bathroom. Assuming that you're really incontinent, so what? Let them have their little joke and get on with your life. Using a diaper for incontinence is in principle no different than using a tissue to blow a runny nose. In the long run, I think that the way to overcome the stigma associated with wearing an adult diaper is to be less secretive about it.
 
Yeah true, I'm just very scared about people finding out since I was humiliated over it a lot as a kid, and I've found it really hard to recover. I just get upset when it seems like the humiliation will continue even into adulthood.
 
derek245 said:
Yeah true, I'm just very scared about people finding out since I was humiliated over it a lot as a kid, and I've found it really hard to recover. I just get upset when it seems like the humiliation will continue even into adulthood.
Click to expand...
I'm sorry to hear that Derek, I know how you feel. Being picked on for your incontinence can be very humiliating, but there's nothing you can do about it and you just have to accept yourself and try not to worry about other people's opinions.

I hope you don't have to deal with bullying as an adult but the humiliation doesn't stop until you decide not to be humiliated. When someone discovers my incontinence and then makes fun of me it still hurts but you have to be bigger person and let it go.
 
I agree with everyone else, but I wondered, could you change your diaper someplace else? Then it wouldn't be much of an issue for them.
 
derek245 said:
I always throw the nappy into the bin and then move out quickly, content that no one will know it's mine. However, the bin is relatively small and doesn't have a lid, so anyone who clears it out will almost certainly notice the soiled garments...
Click to expand...

Are you using large premium diapers or smaller thinner ones? Are you properly disposing of it by rolling it up or just tossing it in the small bin? Would it be possible for you to carry a backpack or laptop bag, put the used product in a plastic bag, and then carrying it out of the restroom in your backpack for disposal elsewhere?

Just curious. I myself have no qualms with being a bit confrontational during such encounters and wouldn't change my habits for someone else like them. I understand your feelings though. Just make sure you aren't being blatantly obvious in your disposal. I have seen used diapers in public restrooms just tossed away open for the world to see, or even worse, left behind in a stall.
 
I wear premium, and yes I tend to roll it up and throw it in. I sometimes bring a plastic bag to put it in, and then put that into my work bag, but there've been times where it's leaked out which would be terrible if I happened to have an important document or something. I've been thinking of getting another bag solely for my used nappies sometime which would definitely eliminate the problem even if it might draw more attention. I'm usually discreet, but it was kind of impossible in that bathroom, I remember thinking it was a problem even then, I probably wouldn't have even kept going to the cafe if the rest of it weren't so nice.
 
derek245 said:
I wear premium, and yes I tend to roll it up and throw it in. I sometimes bring a plastic bag to put it in, and then put that into my work bag, but there've been times where it's leaked out which would be terrible if I happened to have an important document or something. I've been thinking of getting another bag solely for my used nappies sometime which would definitely eliminate the problem even if it might draw more attention. I'm usually discreet, but it was kind of impossible in that bathroom, I remember thinking it was a problem even then, I probably wouldn't have even kept going to the cafe if the rest of it weren't so nice.
Click to expand...

I can strongly relate to being professional while having limited continence.

Coming from that point of view, I strongly suggest you bring plastic bags. Bagging creates less difficulty for you and potentially for the staff, depending on how their cleanup works. It cuts down on smell and it just makes your diaper changing procedures more versatile in general. Please do consider it.
 
I wear seni quatro diapers for me i have no choice. They hold 96 fluid ounces. I wear at work and i have made it blatent that i dont care what people think of me. Here is food for thought.. when the pot boils dry its just u. Do wat makes u happy. Try not to worry bout it. People make fun of what they dont understand.
 
Couple of thoughts: good disability practice for employers means that in most countries there is an expectation that workplaces should make reasonable adaptations for folk with disabilities - in this case it might need be no more than a bigger bin -maybe with a self closing lid.

Plastic bags are a good idea- but not ones from supermarkets as these usually have small holes in them so that small children won't suffocate if they put them over their heads. I get "vest type" thin ones from Ebay which are very strong - I have literally filled one with water and it didn't leak. I tie them with a couple of knots after twisting the top and as long as most of the air is expelled this makes a very secure and leak proof package that I have no worries about carrying in a work bag.

I also use them at home to save our indoor rubbish bin from smelling and because the local rubbish collection asks that nappies/diapers be in bags anyway.

These are what I mean: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/100-x-BLU...164657?hash=item53fe62aab1:g:iOgAAOSw-nZTnWU6

Very cheap and effective - better prices for larger quantities and you can also get them from outlets that supply packaging to retail shops.
 
Derek, I've recently had a couple of experiences where my incontinence supplies were seen by others through no choice of my own. One being when going through the TSA and the X-ray machine was broke so they had to take everything out of my backpack, which of course had a couple of changes and wipes. Yesterday when traveling from a UK territory I was selected for a random bag search of my checked luggage which of course had lots of extra diapers etc in it. Both times the person was professional and did their best to be discreet. I've learned that sometimes it's just best to embrace it. That's it's part of who you are and that's OK! You're you! Some people have diabetes, some people have asthma, some people need a knee brace or an elbow or wrist brace. Some people need glasses. And some people need diapers or help using the bathroom or whatever. There's nothing to be embarrassed of. Just be confident in who you are!
 
I noticed yesterday that they'd included a proper nappy disposal bin, it's weirdly nice to know that so many others may benefit from my wet diapers....
 
derek245 said:
I noticed yesterday that they'd included a proper nappy disposal bin, it's weirdly nice to know that so many others may benefit from my wet diapers....
Click to expand...
that's great news! not enough places have one
 
if i can help it ill bag the wet padding and toss it else where.. usually the nearest dumpster
 
I talked to the people working in the cafe about my wetting earlier today, they did indeed know and apologised for not having proper nappy disposal bins. I asked why they were treating me so differently and laughing behind my back after finding out, but they acted like they didn't do anything of the sort... I had another wetting later on and when I went to the bathroom to change I heard them laughing again! One of them even offered me some baby wipes after I got out!!! I don't think I'll be going back there again, which is a shame since it was a really nice place.
 
derek245 said:
I had another wetting later on and when I went to the bathroom to change I heard them laughing again! One of them even offered me some baby wipes after I got out!!! I don't think I'll be going back there again, which is a shame since it was a really nice place.
Click to expand...

It's at this point my aggressive streak kicks in and I start taking action. I would halve all their jobs taken. I might even consider the legal ramifications of their actions. Attack, don't run.
 
Llayden said:
It's at this point my aggressive streak kicks in and I start taking action. I would halve all their jobs taken. I might even consider the legal ramifications of their actions. Attack, don't run.
Click to expand...

I agree with Llayden. At the very least everyone who worked there would have regretted coming to work that morning.
 
I think you have done all the right things,but am pretty sure you can win his one- not all your co-workers will feel the same way but are acting like a herd of sheep-sooner or later some will break away and see you for the person you are. Incontinence is not the problem,its the basic human instinct to seize on something unusual and laugh at it.They need to realise that you are not going to give in and that what they are doing to you is as inexcusable as any other discriminatory behaviour. They won't if you are not there and why the hell should you have to leave a job you like
 
This is a Cafe he go's to not a job lol.
I did medical transport for a while respect is how you must be.
I'm sorry it happened to you.
It's the pottie training they got your fighting which is diapers are for babys.
Sad as it is some times I feel we are more grown up then they are we are kind to those that have to deal with IC.
There have been times that I have calmed down a dad that dragged a child into a restroom for wetting his pants.
As a kid I had that problem my self still have some scars from that.
Is this place a chain establishment then Write a letter to corporate so they can Implement a policy.
They never like being sued.
Or write a letter to owner also write it as an other customer who say this happen to you .
That way you did not turn them In .
Some times you can miss direct where it came from.
Just be careful have some coworkers get me sacked for braking into my locked suit case finding my tebby bear and pampers I wear in privacy to sleep.
All the best to you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top