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BayB8 said:Hey guys,
I wanted to get your guy's opinion on something.
Some people say that being ABDL is sometimes caused by a trauma or abuse of some sort, but thats not true for everyone. I have asked myself this and my fiance has asked if I thought something might have happened or some trauma that might have caused me to want to wear and take comfort with diapers. There hasnt been anything that I could think of. My sister was sexually abused when we were younger, but idk if I was. I was way to young. I don't think I was so I always told myself it wasn't because I was abused. Yet i was going through the forums and I read somethi g that brought a memory to the forefront of my brain that I had tried hard to forget.
"I don't know if there is a connection.. I'm pretty sure it was in 3rd grade.. Round 2001-2002. Cuz I remember taking the bus to his house in colchester headed out to grand isle.
We had a sleep over a few times.. The last time I went.. Idk why but he wanted us to touch each other.. I didn't want to but he did. Essetally made me touch him and he me.. I stopped going there after that. Told my parents in pretty sure. Haven't seen him sense. I didn't give it any thought back then to that being a form of abuse because we were friends and the same age.." (Copy paste from a text i sent my fiance this morning)
Like I said, I don't know if that counts as abuse, or if like my fiance suggested, kids explore, so was it just being kids?
Because I stopped going there after and I stopped being friends, I feel like I didn't take it as exploration. I felt violated by it. We would have been 8. So to me that's late for exploration like that but idk.
I cant wrap my head around how something could be caused my something without actually knowing it, but that doesnt mean it canr happen.
Im just trying to thibk this through. I feel like its already to talk to people know what I'm talking about and feel the same.
Thanks guys
BayB8
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I spent a long time trying to source my love of diapers to some sort of abuse or event gate in my childhood with no clear cut answer. I think Trevor is right. It is a flowchart, a combination of things that work out just right. I was potty trained very early and was likely taken out of diapers before I was ready, I wet the bed, and I had a very, very, *very* strict household. On top of that, I had the common distinct memory of being four or five at daycare or wherever and trying to put a diaper on when no one was looking.
I understand the need to try to trace the issue to the source, but it's difficult. Especially because you're the only one who has these memories and experiences available to piece together because you were the only one there for them. And memories degrade. Every time you recall a memory, you're actually recalling your last memory of that memory, and memory is always fading. I gave up the fight and just said, "Hey, it could be this, but whatever. It is what it is."
I've come up with an alternate theory, and that is that everyone is attracted to odd stuff. The things don't get more odd, just society's perspective. Imagine if the playing field was leveled and being into diapers was just as normal and accepted as being into...I dunno, big boobs or schoolgirl outfits or doing the diddly in public. Why are diapers weird but those things are normal? I theorize that a LOT more people are into a LOT more shit than we imagine. I've met enough kids who appear outwardly normal but got caught jacking it in class or sniffing some girl's used panties in the laundry at a party or whatever. Or like to crossdress or are into pegging. Or like to wear collars and/or are into petplay.
I think that people are just naturally REALLY good at keeping the bedroom in the bedroom, but are generally into a lot more than we think they are. I imagine the figure of people who give the idea of diapers a double take at least, even if they internalize it and do nothing about it and think "ugh thats weird nope", is closer to 1 in 10 than 1 in 100. I think it stirs something inside more people who aren't aware of ABDL than are. I've had numerous friends who became aware of my (however elective) condition and..to my surprise... many wanted a try.. or to at least see. I've "turned" a few people little, maybe not ABDL. Obviously I didn't turn them, I just made them aware of what it was and did some educating.
I digress. My point is, I think it's a lot more natural to be attracted to something like diapers that have such a strong mark on our childhood and also represent big factors like control and comfort and dependence in our lives, things we naturally want to both have and give up at times, than we think it is. The reason behind why we pick those things is likely a lot more innocent than we imagine when we have big memory holes to fill.. Idk though, I'm not a psychologist, I'm an OT, so besides a few psychology classes, this isn't my field... ha.