This is not a hypothetical question for me. Quite some time ago I responded to a similar thread explaining my own experience with finding out my youngest son has this interest as well.
I have hidden this side of myself quite well from all of my children and in so doing, I truthfully do not believe that my own interests have had anything to do with his interests and the eventually discovery of used diapers in the trash that were not my own. I also found history of internet sites that had been visited on the family computer and linked these together.
In a previous post from years ago, that because of the new site I cannot seem to now find, I went into a great detail about this experience. As such, I am not going to share the complete story again, other than to explain that I did choose to have a discussion with him about it, and it turned out very well.
He was around 12 or 13 at the time, and I saw no reason to share my own interests in diapers, as it did not feel right and there was not the need. Rather, what I did was to reassure him of my love and that I understood and acknowledged that many others have this same interest and that he should not feel ashamed about it. I shared with him some of my own insights (again without acknowledging I have this interest) of some of the harmful things that could be associated with it, but that it was also not something that he should allow himself to feel isolated or embarrassed about.
It was a bit awkward at first, as he did not want to talk about it, but in the end, I believe he appreciated my understanding and I expressed that if he ever wanted to talk about it, I would always be there. The conversation ended with a deep hug and I feel it actually brought us closer as father and son.
Since that time, we have not had much further conversations about this, but I have also not found additional evidence that this is continuing to a great extent with him. We have had only an occasional other discussion in the few years after about it, and his response while simple he said that everything was going okay. He is now an adult himself, and while we hace not had further discussions about it, I also have not found other evidence or suspicions that this interest has continued to a significant degree. Either he has been a master at hiding it, or it has not progressed into as much of an interest and desire as it did with me. Which, truthfully, while I do not feel being ABDL is a bad thing, I am actually hopeful that it isn't something that he is still strongly interested in.
...Why Teddy would you say that? Well, although I think being ABDL is something that makes me more unique and actually perhaps a strength in my life today, it also has been the source of a great complication. For years I hated who I was because of this. I went through binge and purge and to hell and back trying to figure out who I was, why I had this interest, and only after much heartache, realized that it wasn't something wrong with me, but rather something that was just unique and actually made me a better person. But this has taken me half my life to realize this. And the heartache I have gone through, and the misunderstanding of my wife and the fear of misunderstanding of others is a toll that I would not hope my son would have to go through.
So, that's actually more than I planned on responding, but I share this with you all and the OP in answering the question as one who has actually gone through this. In this situation, I believe it actually brought my son and I closer together. Why? Well, because I didn't judge him for it and I hopefully let him know that I loved him no matter what, and he was not alone. It was not something to be ashamed of, and while he was still not fully comfortable talking about it, I do not think he felt that I was looking down upon him for it. You might ask why I didn't share that I had this interest myself? Well, my gut and my spirit told me this was not the time to do so. Perhaps someday, there might be a right time or place, but at the time there was not the need or the feeling that it was right to do so. And I believe still that this was the right thing to do.
Is this the correct response for anyone in this situation? I could hardly say that it would. But rather, I think if any parent is faced with this situation, then the most appropriate action is separate and dictated to the individual circumstances they may be in. Each child is different, and every situation unique. What I think is the common denominator of any correct action is to show love above all, above trying to intellectually answer the question, and more importantly, be there for support and assurance that they are not alone.
