Has incontinence ever stopped you from doing something you really wanted to do?

[Pino]

I just want you to be careful. Urine can turn deadly fast if it gets to your blood stream. I like visiting with you we have a lot in common, not many men have IC. So we got to stick together.

I have never used a penal clamp I just know the exist. That and o guess if I thought about it more knowing your story I would know that tje urges and spasms with IC make you have to pee or it hurts so a clamp would not be ideal. That's Why I have never tried one

I may have POTS either (almost sure), the ANS clinic will check that as well. One side effect of POTS is that your kidneys do something strange even they are obviously healthy: The salt and water retention is damaged, they put out much more water and salt as they should, the result is a heavy thirst - and have got three of them .
I really try to drink the same amount every day , but the urine flow / production is off every two or three days, yesterday i peed 6000ml, my bladder holds 200 - 250ml until i can not stand the pain any more and the bladder spasms - you can calculate yourself.

On that days i do think hard about constant drainage, but i did not talk about that with my urologist until now.

It is hard to find men who can relate, so don't worry we will stick together.

 

[ParaRomeo]

It has stopped me from getting to work a few times when I have messed myself on the way to work. But now I have made the decision not to let it stop me from doing anything. I might be late dew to clean up but I will still get there. Luckily this doesn't happen very often or though it's getting more frequent

Not to get personal but have you ever tried a bowel program for me it sometimes works but basically you pick a time of day for me night time is usually best and everyone is different but end goal is to empty your bowels so you don't have an accident. It's like some people with ic straight cath and use absorbent products just incase. As I mentioned for me no pun intended but it's a crap shoot usually I try my bowel program but if nothing happens after say 20mins I put a new diaper on and deal with it and I personally get up early enough on work days incase of that & if I didn't go I still take a shower but maybe little longer or go to the good coffee place that is sort of out of the way but for me if I didn't have success the night before usually go while sleeping. The only times daytime is an issue is if the bad coffee place is lazy and uses cream vs lactose free options or I am not feeling well. Will say if showers aren't easy I have a bidet toilet seat that works well for a quick clean up.

 

[ParaRomeo]

You have a some real challenges in your life. More than me but you have the right attitude by all means. It would be amazing if some of the large restrooms in public places had a table and a roll of paper to roll out so you can lay down. I do not blame anyone for not wanting to lay if a dirty restroom floor. I can only imagine it is way more difficult for a person in a wheelchair to change with no use or little use of their lower body and some peiple even the upper body. I am fortunate not to be in that boat. I guess every illness or disease has draw backs and we all have challenges. I hate to hear that a person has to have these kinds of illness and injurys. But they do not define us. Only our actions and the way we handle the struggles we face can stop us. Incontinence would be the last thing I would let me get down about. I love it when people with disabilities have sports and choose to live their life. Simple truth is some people just dont have the mental strength sometimes. I most of the time look at the things I can do in life diaper or not. It sounds like you do the same with all your issues. Thank you for sharing this. With us people like you give me strength to endure my own issues. I have had a very bad case of gastroparesis and often feel miserable. but I still make my self get out of bed everyday. Well most of the time. Really not serving my country I do regret and wish I could of changed but then again I would not of ended up with my wife and a baby girl I love had I done it. So I guess it is hard to really regret it.

At least diapers now are good enough they do not have to be changed near as often. Unless it is number 2. But you can get some real use out of a premium diaper.

I amm thinking I can still serve those who fought for me. I am a decent carpenter and welder and have some equipment. I hope this summer I can get with the local VA and I want to donate some time and build some ramps and stuff to make life easier for some of our veterans. I was going to last year but I was just to sick most of the year. But I have high Hope's for my new gastric pacemaker to keep me out of the hospitals. I wish you the best

I try to think or it's what I have told myself and others, sometimes it sux, sometimes we don't know why, sometimes we know right away but I am a firm believer in things happen for a reason. It sux that you didn't get to follow your original dream don't get me wrong probably some of the best years of my life till I got broke(story of my life work till I get broken rinse repeat) but in your case even though you probably had some rough patches sounds like you for most part have a good life and still trying to enjoy life. Me personally I try not to dwell on what could of I of done differently because it's not going to fix the situation. Going to spell it wrong but the Dolly Lama said their is 2 days you can't control yesterday and tomorrow so live for today or something close to that lol. I have a few friends that didn't serve but they do what they can for those that did like I have a buddy who's a plumber and he will go out of his way to volunteer or help a veteran or first responders out and that's his way to help. When I was young and dumb and thought I was the best but honestly I had an important job but the cooks the admin, the supply and other jobs did as well because if we all collectively didn't do out parts the mission wouldn't get done and honestly look at life in a similar way.

Honestly if your good with your hands know that some vets may need help something and most areas have local organizations and some towns/counties have a veterans service officer if you have good days you maybe able to reach out to them and be like I am pretty good with my hands and haven't lopped off my fingers haha(a hammer is more of a dangerous weapon in my hands lol joking aside when I started to rent my house from the bank I had to learn many skills I didn't know) and see if they knows of any vets down on their luck and may need help. I heard of an organization where my buddy lives and they basically go out on the weekends and do projects for vets like building ramps and other stuff.

Even though I may have some bad days I know that I am not who I was and I need to be who I am now. I appreciate the kind words and do think we have a similar outlook on life but I do know for me that without my past experiences I wouldn't be who I am today so I may not be able to change the past but I can look at it for guidance so if I have a bad day or few days I remember basic training I love food so chow to chow every morning afternoon and evening there will be food and on bad days I look at it like that but I have more good days and I have days where honestly think diapers help like road trips, hunting, and many other things we have one life and we never know when it's going to be our last so try to enjoy it. Even though a Navy quote but it's truly the only easy days was yesterday.

I will say once you find a product that fits your needs it makes it easier. For most part Ic doesn't get me down like it did first I first dealt with it, and if I start to get depressed I try to think about it and be like it's downhill from here and there maybe some tough times ahead but like others I will over come them and look back and be like OK what's next.

Keep up the positivity

 

[LordDuque]

In my case no, it hasn’t. I promised myself not to put limits for anything, being that I had the luck of walking again, and that if I hadn’t I’d be using diapers too, so….to regret myself for being unlucky was, instead of unfair to others who didn’t have it, bad for oneself steem and self image. It’s how I see it. Having said that, it’s not easy. But can be done. Regards!

 

[Diaperman95]

I try to think or it's what I have told myself and others, sometimes it sux, sometimes we don't know why, sometimes we know right away but I am a firm believer in things happen for a reason. It sux that you didn't get to follow your original dream don't get me wrong probably some of the best years of my life till I got broke(story of my life work till I get broken rinse repeat) but in your case even though you probably had some rough patches sounds like you for most part have a good life and still trying to enjoy life. Me personally I try not to dwell on what could of I of done differently because it's not going to fix the situation. Going to spell it wrong but the Dolly Lama said their is 2 days you can't control yesterday and tomorrow so live for today or something close to that lol. I have a few friends that didn't serve but they do what they can for those that did like I have a buddy who's a plumber and he will go out of his way to volunteer or help a veteran or first responders out and that's his way to help. When I was young and dumb and thought I was the best but honestly I had an important job but the cooks the admin, the supply and other jobs did as well because if we all collectively didn't do out parts the mission wouldn't get done and honestly look at life in a similar way.

Honestly if your good with your hands know that some vets may need help something and most areas have local organizations and some towns/counties have a veterans service officer if you have good days you maybe able to reach out to them and be like I am pretty good with my hands and haven't lopped off my fingers haha(a hammer is more of a dangerous weapon in my hands lol joking aside when I started to rent my house from the bank I had to learn many skills I didn't know) and see if they knows of any vets down on their luck and may need help. I heard of an organization where my buddy lives and they basically go out on the weekends and do projects for vets like building ramps and other stuff.

Even though I may have some bad days I know that I am not who I was and I need to be who I am now. I appreciate the kind words and do think we have a similar outlook on life but I do know for me that without my past experiences I wouldn't be who I am today so I may not be able to change the past but I can look at it for guidance so if I have a bad day or few days I remember basic training I love food so chow to chow every morning afternoon and evening there will be food and on bad days I look at it like that but I have more good days and I have days where honestly think diapers help like road trips, hunting, and many other things we have one life and we never know when it's going to be our last so try to enjoy it. Even though a Navy quote but it's truly the only easy days was yesterday.

I will say once you find a product that fits your needs it makes it easier. For most part Ic doesn't get me down like it did first I first dealt with it, and if I start to get depressed I try to think about it and be like it's downhill from here and there maybe some tough times ahead but like others I will over come them and look back and be like OK what's next.

Keep up the positivity

I understand totally what you are saying. My spouses brother has had stage 4 brain cancer for 8 years. I look at him for inspiration all the time. He was told he would not make it longer than 3 weeks at one point. You never know what God has planned and maybe things might happen just so God can use you as a testimony to others. He has had a very rough go but he is alive and still able to enjoy his kids at home and his amazing wife. He has never said why me or even had a negative thought. He leaves it to the lord.


Thank you for the reply

 

[ParaRomeo]

In my case no, it hasn’t. I promised myself not to put limits for anything, being that I had the luck of walking again, and that if I hadn’t I’d be using diapers too, so….to regret myself for being unlucky was, instead of unfair to others who didn’t have it, bad for oneself steem and self image. It’s how I see it. Having said that, it’s not easy. But can be done. Regards!

I think you have a good outlook and someone asked me one day if I could make one thing better what would it be and honestly I would rather walk and honestly I can say there were times in my life before my Sci where diapers would of come in pretty handy and honestly there are times in my current job and life where they work out. Don't get me wrong it sux at times but same time I am not cathing every 2hrs

Also great avatar I saw a sweatshirt other day similar picture it said disabled not deffencless and their was a yt channel that had similar a patch. But even though I think there neat I personally wouldn't wear it in public I try to fly under the radar I do occasionally wear wheelchair humor shirts I do find at times using wheelchair humor is an icebreaker and I use humor as a coping mechanism.
Keep up the positive outlook in life

 

[caffelatte]

I think I subconsciously started choosing activities that were easily doable for an IC person. On the other hand I managed to work as Cabin Crew for quite a long time, which is not the easiest thing to do when you're 24/7 in diapers. The only thing that would be nice to do is to buy a decent swimsuit & go to the public beach. Although I do that from time to time, I need to be well prepared to hide my pull-ups. As you can imagine it causes a lot of unnecessary issues.

 

[DreamerBenenedicte]

Yes all the time. For small things during the daily routine. For exemple leaving earlier at friends when wet To avoid a change outside.
But major things like apply To some jobs, dating...

 

[LordDuque]

I think I subconsciously started choosing activities that were easily doable for an IC person. On the other hand I managed to work as Cabin Crew for quite a long time, which is not the easiest thing to do when you're 24/7 in diapers. The only thing that would be nice to do is to buy a decent swimsuit & go to the public beach. Although I do that from time to time, I need to be well prepared to hide my pull-ups. As you can imagine it causes a lot of unnecessary issues.

Hi. I understand what u mean, but personally I go to the beach every summer and I don’t try to hide them, don’t “exhibit “ them but neither hide it, nor my friends that come with me from time to time. At first you can have some strange looks but later you‘ll be surprised of how even gals tell you how astonished they were at first but later admired the self security and confidence with something like that (and I swear you girls like men that are self confident and secure of themselves). Having said that I know that‘s hard to do it, specially at first when you haven’t seen the rewards that brings to you such behavior. Regards

 

[puravidadip]

Hi. I understand what u mean, but personally I go to the beach every summer and I don’t try to hide them, don’t “exhibit “ them but neither hide it, nor my friends that come with me from time to time. At first you can have some strange looks but later you‘ll be surprised of how even gals tell you how astonished they were at first but later admired the self security and confidence with something like that (and I swear you girls like men that are self confident and secure of themselves). Having said that I know that‘s hard to do it, specially at first when you haven’t seen the rewards that brings to you such behavior. Regards

My therapist essentially just told me this in our first session since my decision to use diapers exclusively to manage my incontinence. Show grace in the face of a challenge and you will get respect from many people.

 

[Diaperman95]

Hi. I understand what u mean, but personally I go to the beach every summer and I don’t try to hide them, don’t “exhibit “ them but neither hide it, nor my friends that come with me from time to time. At first you can have some strange looks but later you‘ll be surprised of how even gals tell you how astonished they were at first but later admired the self security and confidence with something like that (and I swear you girls like men that are self confident and secure of themselves). Having said that I know that‘s hard to do it, specially at first when you haven’t seen the rewards that brings to you such behavior. Regards

I live in Oklahoma. We have more man made lakes than any other state, or so I have been told. we have more shore line than the east coast they say. But it is not the same as a real beach on the ocean. But I like to swim and I don't hardly ever go swimming beach or pool because of the diaper. I mean in the lake or ocean it is no big deal to pee and pools have chlorine for a reason.
It does no good to go in the water with a diaper as it soaks it up instantly and then if you go without I stand the certainty in my case that I will piss my self while my swim trunks are still dry. Swim diapers are only made to contain stool. So I guess this is another thing I miss out on some. I do have a friend that knows I have issues but not the full extent how bad it is, but he has a 22,000 gal in ground. I have swam a lot at his house but I always stay in the water. But his pool has been down due to a liner tear the last couple years. He got it fixed in sept but it was a bit cold to go.

 

[greatlake5]

I'm leaving in a few days when I go to Naples, Florida. But before I go I'm going a "snow Camp" in Michigan. I was all set for the trip when we had a snow storm. I still went but we had a "lake effect" storm. I live in mid-south Michigan right on Lake Michigan. I went for the trip and I just got home. I went with a small friend group. I',m profoundly IC and diapered daily. First, I love SNOW! (at least not 0" degree). We had great snow. A surprising "lake snow" covered us which was actually fun. Now? I'm getting ready for Naples in Florida. Perfect? YES!

 

[hoimi]

I live in Oklahoma. We have more man made lakes than any other state, or so I have been told. we have more shore line than the east coast they say. But it is not the same as a real beach on the ocean. But I like to swim and I don't hardly ever go swimming beach or pool because of the diaper. I mean in the lake or ocean it is no big deal to pee and pools have chlorine for a reason.
It does no good to go in the water with a diaper as it soaks it up instantly and then if you go without I stand the certainty in my case that I will piss my self while my swim trunks are still dry. Swim diapers are only made to contain stool. So I guess this is another thing I miss out on some. I do have a friend that knows I have issues but not the full extent how bad it is, but he has a 22,000 gal in ground. I have swam a lot at his house but I always stay in the water. But his pool has been down due to a liner tear the last couple years. He got it fixed in sept but it was a bit cold to go.

I really enjoy Threaded Armor. They are listed as working as swim diapers. Your mileage may vary, and I have never tested them while swimming.
The Protective Briefs are the ones I went all in on. They are waterproof underwear with snap in padding. I have found it super easy to do a quick change, as you can just pull down, unsnap the wet padding, toss in wet/dry bag, wipe the inside of the undies dry, and put in a dry pad. They have an easy slide in spot for boosters.
Laundry isn’t that big of a deal, but be sure not to wait too long before washing. No to fabric softeners, but otherwise, wash with your favorite detergent. You can also use lotions without weird elastic breakdown.
As I am UI, I have never had a bowel accident in these.
I picked up the limited edition Cookie Monster color, as I am a sucker for cute undies, and decided that I liked them well enough to buy the 5 pack.
I hope this helps you get to swim!

 

[Diaperman95]

I really enjoy Threaded Armor. They are listed as working as swim diapers. Your mileage may vary, and I have never tested them while swimming.
The Protective Briefs are the ones I went all in on. They are waterproof underwear with snap in padding. I have found it super easy to do a quick change, as you can just pull down, unsnap the wet padding, toss in wet/dry bag, wipe the inside of the undies dry, and put in a dry pad. They have an easy slide in spot for boosters.
Laundry isn’t that big of a deal, but be sure not to wait too long before washing. No to fabric softeners, but otherwise, wash with your favorite detergent. You can also use lotions without weird elastic breakdown.
As I am UI, I have never had a bowel accident in these.
I picked up the limited edition Cookie Monster color, as I am a sucker for cute undies, and decided that I liked them well enough to buy the 5 pack.
I hope this helps you get to swim!

Thank you for the reply. I did not know until resent not to put fabric softener on diapers and bed pads. I never put the shit in the wash anyway but the wife does. But she stopped now. Very seldom do I use cloth anything. But I do have a lot of reusable bed pads. Most of the time I get by with nothing more than wiping and using a perineal cleanser wash once a day. I use some cremes from Medline sometimes smells like a orange cream candy. It is for rash. But most of them do break down most disposables.
I have a un expected BM 3 to 4 times a month. Sometimes more sometimes less.

I am glad to know some people still like the Muppets. That was part of my childhood. loved the great Muppet caper.

 

[Jim100]

For the most part I don't let it slow me down to much. I mean I did not have a lot of sleep overs as a kid but I worked all the jobs I worked without it slowing me down too bad. I remember My Jr year in high school I was going to sign up for the national guards and do basic over that summer leading into my Sr. year. I was going to do that so they would pay for some schooling. I went as far as filling out papers and everything else. The recruiter asked me If I have issues peeing around others. I said not normally but that I get bad bladder spasms and leak a little but at the time it was the worse at night and I get UTIs a lot for a guy.. Once he realized I used absorbent product and I had a active bleeding ulcer from all the stressofthis shit at 17 yrs of age. he said I don't know if we can make his happen. And that was that. My Military carrier over before it could start.

Then by the time I was 19 I had got a diagnosis for it as interstitial cysts and a neurogenic bladder. my bladder does not empty complete I use to get infections like mad during school years and never knew why. All the teacher was told if I need to go to the restroom not to make me wait until break. So me being smarter than the average bear I would wait tell class is in session real good and then go change when I was in the restroom all alone. The DR had me start self cathing once or twice a day to keep stale urine out. But you can still get a infection from the catheter too so it really is a catch 22. I still have to do it to this day.
I really did want to see what kind of a man the military could make me into. I have nothing but respect for all the young man that went in my place. I have nothing but respect to are military personnel i general. Sorry I was notable to help out.

This is the only and really only time that I let incontinence stop me . What job did you pass on because of your incontinence? Maybe a life guard or a dancer. Some dancers wear very reviling cloths.

You and. Everyone that contributed in working paying taxes helped the armed forces. It takes about 10 people working to support each GI so yes you did help!!! Thank You very much.

 

[Jim100]

As far as the question asked about being affected by IC and needing to wear diapers; I was old enough after being discovered about my IC issues to not care what anyone thought. I rode a bicycle about twenty five miles a dat played racket ball went to the gym anything I wanted. I was lucky enough to have been in the Marine Corps for over nine years before I had to leave on my own due to the end of my enlistment. I was a very lucky person.

 

[ballyhooser]

I always wanted to be in scouts but my bedwetting and wetting during the day prevented it. I also missed out on many sleepovers growing up since I was a multiple night bedwetter and wore at least 2 training pants with plastic pants during the day. I missed out on overnight school trips, all for the same reason. I never wanted anyone to know especially in my teenage years. I wanted to go away to college but that wasn’t going to work either. My diapers and smelly bedroom were seen and discovered too many times mostly by my brothers friends as you had to go through my room to get to his.

 

[ballyhooser]

These days since I’m in my 60s now I am 24/7 in diapers and really don’t care who knows about it. Cloth diapers with plastic pants overnight and quality tape on disposables during the day. Sometimes it’s a minor inconvenience like when traveling. Packing diapers takes up too much room. If I’m single destination traveling I will order diapers sent ahead of time.

 

[Milianna]

Yes. Ive missed out.

It makes me bitter at times but what can I do

 

[NotTheAverageMan]

I feel lucky that my OAB and incontinence only began in my late thirties, so I didn’t have to deal with this as a youngster, I can only imagine the grief you guys have gone through.
however as an adult having to wear diapers basically 24/7, I haven’t had to decline any events, though there has been a few awkward situations I have even in. One was when on vacation with my wife’s family and my farther in law decided that we should go on a whole day cruise on a small boat. i had to go commando without a diaper for the most of the day, but I went in the water numerous times so my shorts was wet basically the whole day, and no one noticed the extra dripping if I had an accident while out of the water, I was dripping anyway. Besides that, no incontinence hasn’t been a showstopper for me.
planning is everything, and one learn on how to deal with the situation.
my family in law to this day does not to my knowledge know about me being incontinent