Finishing the job.

[greatlake5]

When I get up in the morning, I've usually had a BM while sleeping. Sometimes it's later in the morning. Either way, I don't clean-up right away. I know that I'll probably have some residue BM still inside my bowels. I'll do some exercise, some stretches and meditation. By then I feel it coming out. I can't help to give it a push. I have very little control but I still have some abdominal muscles to help pushing. By then I finally clean-up and take a shower. Then I put on my first clean diaper of the day.

Do you clean-up right away in the morning? Or do you wait like I do? Some people have it later in the day for an accident. That's actually rare. But still, if I have one later, I just finish, clean-up and put on a fresh diaper. How do you handle a dirty diaper in the morning? I hate putting on a clean diaper if I know I'm probably not done.

 

[CrossfireHurricane]

Do you clean-up right away in the morning?

About half of my BM's occur when in bed. The rest happen in the morning. All of these means there will probably have another one so I don't clean up until I know I'm done. Then I can get a good shower and dress for the day. I get up in the morning around 5 am. I have to be at work (teacher) by 7:30.
I like to have a cup of coffee and check the news or emails. By then I might push out whatever I didn't have while sleeping. It feels better.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

I have to give my body a while. I usually make it to the toilet, but even so, I can never just get off the toilet, quickly, I gotta wait, or there will be issues.

 

[Edgewater]

Now that I am retired, my schedule is stable, which helps greatly. Having it easy as a 24/7, U-IC. I more commonly wake-up wet and commonly wait until after 8:00 am to remove my diaper and either before or after my shower, my morning BM occurs. With the exception of the effects of Pain medications or illness, that repeats year after year.

Daytime is near as boring, as my first change is after lunch, then late afternoon, mid to late evening and then into my overnight diaper.

 

[greatlake5]

my schedule is stable, which helps greatly.

Most of the time I don't have to be at the office until 9 or 10. Sometimes I go in if there are meetings. I own the company and I have my own office and personal bathroom (even though I don't use the bathroom daily). I only live about 15 minutes away so if I need a change I just go home. Rarely do I have BM accidents during the day. As for "finishing the job" at home it's always easier to clean-up when I use my own bathroom. Drop the dirty diaper in my Janibell Akord diaper pail, wipe a few on my butt and use my bidet. Then it's into the shower. I'm sure most U-IC/F-IC people dislike putting on a clean diaper only to dirty the diaper minutes or hours later. That's why I try to finish the job first.

 

[RedStripeLvr]

Nearly all my F-IC accidents happen in the morning within 30-60 minutes after getting out of bed. I also wait a while for a couple of reasons. As others have said, I want to make sure I'm done before cleaning up, and also because I have to wait for my meds to work. Until the meds kick in, my back is usually too tight and painful to be able to twist around and clean myself up. Sometimes this can take an hour more more until I feel I can do it.

At this point I'm used to it, so I just go on about my business while finishing my "business." Typically having coffee, reading emails, doing laundry, or just sitting on the back porch watching the squirrels and deer, etc. Occasionally I don't have the proverbial "accident" and will try to go on the toilet. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. Those are the days I worry all day that it will happen in public.

 

[Tundra1975]

When I mess my diaper, I always wait at least 30 minutes before I change because there is normally a second wave of poop coming. I push every few minutes after the initial poop accident to get everything out. Normally I am finished pooping after about 30 minutes and I know I can change and not have another messy diaper for at least 12 to 24 hours. Sometimes I get caught off guard and poop another diaper shortly after putting it on which really sucks because diapers are expensive and I want to get at least 5 or 6 hours out of each diaper before I change.

 

[UrgentWees]

Same as others here. On the occasion when I do have an accidental BM if I can I will wait 20 minutes or so to make sure there’s no more to come out. Sometimes this isn’t possible, like when changing between trains or if it happens at work.

 

[Freddie07601]

I rarely wake up in a soiled diaper, but fairly often feel an oncoming BM as soon as I begin to move. I find it a lot more comfortable to just let it happen than to try to hold it until I can get to the toilet and remove my diaper. I do push to see if there's anything remaining before I change. My stools are usually pretty firm, so cleanup is not terribly difficult.

I know there's disagreement among incontinents about whether it's inappropriate to poop in your diaper when you could have made it to a toilet. I don't see this as a problem, unless a person consciously seeks to shock or offend others. I don't believe most incontinents would do that.

 

[slimjiminy]

I rarely wake up in a soiled diaper, but fairly often feel an oncoming BM as soon as I begin to move. I find it a lot more comfortable to just let it happen than to try to hold it until I can get to the toilet and remove my diaper. I do push to see if there's anything remaining before I change. My stools are usually pretty firm, so cleanup is not terribly difficult.

I know there's disagreement among incontinents about whether it's inappropriate to poop in your diaper when you could have made it to a toilet. I don't see this as a problem, unless a person consciously seeks to shock or offend others. I don't believe most incontinents would do that.

Like you I rarely wake up in a soiled diaper but often feel an oncoming BM. However, I usually just expedite my trip to the bathroom and sometimes barely get the diaper off to sit on the toilet. No judgement on those that don't -- the day may eventually come where this is not possible for me.

 

[greatlake5]

Like you I rarely wake up in a soiled diaper but often feel an oncoming BM. However, I usually just expedite my trip to the bathroom and sometimes barely get the diaper off to sit on the toilet. No judgement on those that don't -- the day may eventually come where this is not possible for me.

When I haven't had a BM while sleeping, of course I can feel it coming. Most of them always include a strong (and somewhat uncomfortable) urgency.
I have little control (pelvic floor dysfunction) but I do have some abdominal muscles that can push. Either way, when I push, it helps finishing the job.

 

[Raven801]

When I get up in the morning, I've usually had a BM while sleeping. Sometimes it's later in the morning. Either way, I don't clean-up right away. I know that I'll probably have some residue BM still inside my bowels. I'll do some exercise, some stretches and meditation. By then I feel it coming out. I can't help to give it a push. I have very little control but I still have some abdominal muscles to help pushing. By then I finally clean-up and take a shower. Then I put on my first clean diaper of the day.

Do you clean-up right away in the morning? Or do you wait like I do? Some people have it later in the day for an accident. That's actually rare. But still, if I have one later, I just finish, clean-up and put on a fresh diaper. How do you handle a dirty diaper in the morning? I hate putting on a clean diaper if I know I'm probably not done.

Sounds exactly like my morning routine...

 

[Edgewater]

I rarely wake up in a soiled diaper, but fairly often feel an oncoming BM as soon as I begin to move. I find it a lot more comfortable to just let it happen than to try to hold it until I can get to the toilet and remove my diaper. I do push to see if there's anything remaining before I change. My stools are usually pretty firm, so cleanup is not terribly difficult.

I know there's disagreement among incontinents about whether it's inappropriate to poop in your diaper when you could have made it to a toilet. I don't see this as a problem, unless a person consciously seeks to shock or offend others. I don't believe most incontinents would do that.

My position is fairly basic. Retain as much control as you can for as long as you can! Sadly, once that control is gone, it becomes near impossible to get it back.

I commonly sit on the toilet as part of drying out. If I can, I will urinate while sitting there. Understanding that my belief is retain as much control as you can! The mad dash to the toilet, to a point of risking a fall, No, safety rules as falls are dangerous, especially as one gets older.

 

[CheshireCat]

I am one of those people who never needed to sit on the toilet for awhile to initiate or finish a bowel movement. For most of my life I didn't need more than 2 minutes on the toilet for my daily bowel movement.

Now I have chronic colitis, bouts of IBS, and a desensitized rectum with rectal/anal weakness due to radiation therapy for reoccurring prostate cancer. This has not affected initiating or finishing, but seriously affects sensitivity to and ability to hold an impending bowel movement.

On good days I sense a twinge and run to the toilet immediately, otherwise I would mess myself within minutes. Those days my stools are firm.
On so-so days I sense a twinge and immediately sense that I'm starting to mess myself as I run for the toilet. Those days my stools are sludge.
On bad days I don't sense anything except the realization that my diaper is doing its job. Those days my stools are loose.

On good and so-so days, bowel movements always occur by 10 AM, so I never make plans until after 11 AM. This allows me to remain in my bedtime diaper until my morning bowel movement.

On bad days I do not leave the house. Simply sitting down or standing up may cause a light mess. I can go through a lot of diapers and Desitin on bad days!

 

[CrossfireHurricane]

fairly often feel an oncoming BM as soon as I begin to move. I find it a lot more comfortable to just let it happen than to try to hold it until I can get to the toilet and remove my diaper. I do push to see if there's anything remaining before I change. My stools are usually pretty firm, so cleanup is not terribly difficult.

Like I said, if I haven't had a BM while sleeping, they usually happen in the morning. As soon as I start to move, it usually generates the urge. I'm like you, it's more comfortable to simply let it happened. But later in the morning, if I haven't had one yet I'll push it out and "finish the job" so I can have my shower and dress for the day. The stool isn't exactly firm but at least they're solid. Using psyllium husk (like Metamucil) makes the stool fairly solid and makes cleaning up is easier (despite how large the stool is). As for having a BM, it's better to have one in the morning vs one later in the day (like working).

 

[Harley07]

Most of the time I poop while I sleep if not shortly after I get up, I'll leave my overnight on diaper as I rarely have a complete BM while sleeping,... I don't work anymore I'm on disability, so on days I play golf or are meeting up with friends to ride my Harley I'll get up early, sometimes as early as 4am to allow myself to go through my morning routine to insure i do all my pooping before I leave the house.... I try to watch my diet so on the rare day I don't poop in the am I don't leave the house, as there's no telling when it will happen if I do...

 

[Deleted member 59603]

I know this is an older thread but I was forced to “finish my accident” TWICE today and just need to vent I don’t know how I will keep dealing with this worsening incontinence, it feels like I take two steps forward and one step back constantly and I just want to start getting better for once.

It has been a very bad day for bowel accidents today. I woke up mess free (yay) so I did my bowel program but nothing happened, which was weird. Since I’ve been following my program I usually have at least a small bm but today nothing came out. I went to pick up breakfast at a nearby cafe and ended up eating inside since they had some happy hour deals for dining in, and I had plenty of time before work started. I got some coffee and I think that was my downfall

When I stood up to leave, I smelled that I had a bowel accident. I was mortified, and sprinted to the door. I have never had a bowel accident that I didn’t even feel or smell as it happened, I thought my diaper was merely wet. I have no idea how long I sat like that or if anyone else smelled me but I feel like they had to, I was sitting at a bar with a row of people to my left and right. My diaper still felt only warm and wet as I was walking to my car, but the smell that followed me told me it was not just urine. Not only did I feel terrible about having an accident, I felt ashamed about not noticing it. Despite the negativtiy though, I kept my head up by thinking about getting home, ripping off my diaper, and finishing up in the toilet.

As I was walking down the stairs into my apartment, I felt my stomach ball up in a huge cramp and then instantly another wave of bm filled my diaper. Although I wanted nothing more than to remove my diaper and simply use the toilet again, I knew from past mistakes that it would only result in a giant mess. So once I got inside I decided to finish the accident in my diaper. I removed my clothes, stood in the shower and began doing my bowel stimulations (rubbing my stomach, marching in place, some side bends). It felt horrible to be moving around in a full diaper, and I cringed when I felt my body release even more poop. There was a small leak around my leg cuffs, good thing I was in the shower (said with sarcasm, because standing in the shower forcing myself to poop into an already messy diaper felt absolutely disgusting). After about 15 minutes, I felt confident I was done, but I was so so grossed out and ashamed by the end result. This was not at all how I wanted my morning to go. Nonetheless, I could now clean up and put this all behind me.

When I finished cleaning up I felt a huge sense of relief. I was free from my nightmare and ready to start my day of work. I worked as usual, and was productive enough, I have a standing desk for my home office so I was up and down all morning. Just before lunch, I stood up and without warning, filled my diaper with poop. AGAIN. This time I could definitely feel it in my diaper, and it wasn’t just concentrated in the seat, I could feel it creeping up the front of the diaper too.

I immediately started sobbing into my hands, as I heard my diaper muffle and expand from the ongoing accident. I was still going when I started waddling toward the shower to stand and finish my accident once more. I was a weeping, gagging mess and could hardly see through my tears to get to the shower. This time I threw my clothes in a pile on the floor angrily and didn’t even do any bowel stimulations, I just crossed my arms and stood and cried. At one point I began to hyperventilate and almost had an anxiety attack, but I was able to focus on my breathing and use some grounding techniques to stave it off. It was probably a good 20 minutes before I had calmed down enough to bring my awareness back to my present mess. I was an even bigger mess than before, both emotionally and physically, but I pushed through to get to that other, cleaner state. I ended up doing a few bowel stimulations to make sure I wouldn’t have another accident. Then I cleaned up once more then just sat on my couch and pouted. I didn’t eat anything for lunch because the accident and cleanup completely killed my appetite. Plus, I was still catching my breath after the close call anxiety attack. While I’m glad this happened at home, I still felt an overwhelming sense of shame and helplessness since I no longer have consistent control of my bowels.

This idea of “finishing your accident” is quite new to me. I know I will find peace with it eventually, but right now I just miss the days of using the toilet for bm’s. Even when I had only urinary incontinence, I was happy I was able to remove my diaper to poop, as I always thought it was be a living nightmare to have bowel incontinence. Now it’s my reality and it’s difficult to remind myself that I cannot just remove my diaper after a bm, I have to stay in it and then try to force EVEN MORE poop into it.

Kudos to everyone here who has reached the point of acceptance with this horrible reality, one day I hope to join you. I’m just so frustrated with it all right now.

 

[Edgewater]

I am a very lucky, 24/7, U-IC guy that this last week had a deep gut Flu that fully tested my U-IC supply as I had lost all control and any announcement of either. Still nothing like you have recently experienced. But, I have come away with the knowledge that my products WORK under the pressure of full-on blow-outs.

A great, big, bear hug your way as you have suffered the full depth of IC. You have found the full experience of it and have survived. The reality of what you experienced steals at our Humanity and clearly defines the reality of life with the depth of IC. I am certain that others here that are fully IC will provide additional support and helpful.

It may help to see that your product did what it was designed and helped greatly in clean-up, while you should rejoice in your knowledge greatly helped as well! Yes, it is shocking that what sounds counterintuitive helps!

Your strength and knowledge carried you well. You have survived a serious test and it has strengthened you.

Again, a big, bear hug!

May want to talk to the Mod's about creating your own Thread as what you experienced would be of help for those of us that have not experienced your IC over the top time!

 

[greatlake5]

I was forced to “finish my accident” TWICE today

Since I've always experience BM accidents everyday, I know that this is a fairly new for you. I know how difficult it is for someone who is new at BM accidents. So I'm not going to say "it gets easier." Eventually you will find it out yourself.

It sounded like you had an accident with loose stool. I rarely have diarrhea (thankfully) but certainly it can be terrible. I can only hope that you feel better. The last time that happened I just stayed home. It's the worst. I'm sure you're in the care of your doctor. They're medications that will help you. If your condition get's worse, I suggest using plastic pants and try internal deodorants. You might not smell like a bouquet of roses but at least you will not be completely disgusted.

I'm "lucky" that most of my BM's are solid. Still, having been F-IC, it's always a challenge.

Kudos to everyone here who has reached the point of acceptance with this horrible reality, one day I hope to join you. I’m just so frustrated with it all right now.

You don't have to embrace your IC. Eventually you become a DOKer (diaper acceptance). That's usually enough.

 

[Deleted member 59603]

Thank you @Edgewater for the care, I really appreciate it and could’ve used a hug after the incidents today. Just the affirmation that my experience IS indeed embarrassing and that others can empathize with me, helps to relieve the mental stress some. It sucks trying to talk about this with “normal” people because they just don’t understand how intrusive incontinence can be on a daily basis. You are right in that my protection served its purpose very well today, I am beyond grateful I did not leak in public! But sadly I do fear that I will have to step up my protection if accidents like today become more common (meaning I must go through the trial and error of finding that perfect absorption, discretion, and fit AGAIN ).


@greatlake5 you are correct, my doctor knows about the increased bowel incontinence and we have been trying out different solutions, sadly none of them are “it” yet. That’s exactly why I started the practice of manual bowel stimulation, my doctor suggested it in addition to my bowel program and I’m doing my best to follow orders but I just haven’t found my routine yet. It is so discouraging, but reading through tips, tricks, and shared experiences on here does help a lot when I’m feeling low. I haven’t tried internal deodorant yet since I didn’t think I needed it, but I am coming around to the idea since my accidents are becoming more and more common.
Thank you for the reassurance, it really means a lot coming from someone who has dealt with similar issues for much longer than myself. I like your idea of a DOKer, that’s a nice middle ground between extremes of living vs hating diapers, something that is not often discussed even on here.