Feeling guilty about wearing diapers dealing with IBS

[DiaperLink]

I wasnt so sure where to post this so I'm hoping someone nice could help me out. I'm getting sick and irritated of this. So lately I'm starting to feel really guilty about wearing diapers. I have IBS and I sometimes wear diapers when I feel like I need them in public. Especially I have to wear them due to my psychiatrist telling me I should wear them because I have severe anxiety and that IBS and anxiety could trigger an accident.

I feel pretty shameful right now and guilty. I also have a diaper fetish which makes me even feel even more guilty. Every time I really do have a mild accident I feel ashamed of my self. I start panicking and my stomach feels worse and feels like I need to pee more more from bad nerves.

How do I get over this guilty feeling? I also don't want people finding out I'm wearing diapers in public. That's my biggest fear. When I fart sometimes I feel like I'm about to crap my self. I don't get diarrhea or anything. Theytold me I don't have to wear the diapers 24/7. When I feel like I'll need them but when I do need them and wear them or wear them in general I feel really uncomfortable but on the other hand I do feel safe and secure like I'm being managed some how.

Can anyone give me any advice on how to cope with this? There might be a time where I'll really need them and I wouldn't know what to do if I refuse to wear them. I get bad nerves sometimes which leads to leaking/urinating from severe social anxiety. So i don't know what to do at this point. Should I just accept it all together that I have a mental and health condition and I have to wear diapers to help me function on a regular baises? And sorry I'm not trying to offend anyone here. At least I hope I'm not. Should I bring this up to my counselor and psychiatrist and see what they think I should do? I don't crap my self honestly I mostly get stains when I fart and when I break into hives I feel like I'm about to wet my self from embarrassment etc.

 

[Teawave]

You are not harming anyone with your fetish nor are you actively forcing it onto strangers on the street. Keep that in mind. Everybody has a fetish and that is okay and nothing to be ashamed off. Stand in front of a mirror and say "it is okay" until you actually mean it.
With the triggered accidents: you could just wear inco-pads if those work or training pants or underwear like sphinx if it's not too much at a time so you have the seperation from need to want if that is what you need for now. Thing is: what if you have an accident in public and you're not wearing protection? that wouldn't put you in a safe space mentally and would also leave you vunerable to bullying and harassment. nobody will see your diaper if you wear it unless you wear a clear plastic skirt basically. yesterday I wore pretty short shorts over a diaper, the guy I was seeing knew I was wearing one and couldn't tell. wear longer tops, not too tight fitting pants and even if you do have an accident noone will be able to tell.

you're doing great! you're getting help for your problems and that is amazing! and you're trying to fight but sometimes you just have to pick your battles and realize that not every battle has to be fought. if might not be able to avoid accidents in public but you can avoid people knowing that you had an accident to keep you sane

 

[Petya217]

Adding to what Teawave said, I'd suggest you discussed this with your psychiatrist. If wearing protection adds to your anxiety, it's not helping. So together with him/her you might be handle the anxiety from wearing diaper, so not to add to your problems, but actually be a help for you.

 

[daylight]

Veren, You are asking really good questions and I commend you for bringing this up with your psychiatrist. From what you said, it seems like having more discussions with him/her will help in addressing your concerns.

As for diapers, given what you have described, a stealthy (low capacity -- thin) pull-on style is something you should consider.

 

[rennecfox]

Question, do you have problems controlling when you aren’t wearing a diaper? If not it might be better to stop and handle less frequent episodes another way

 

[DiaperLink]

Question, do you have problems controlling when you aren’t wearing a diaper? If not it might be better to stop and handle less frequent episodes another way

I don't have any problems controlling. It's just when I eat certain foods my therapist/counselor suggest I wear the diapers just in case I have an episode. Like for example for today my anxiety wasn't that bad. I had a pretty good day TBH. It's just when I feel like I have to wear a diaper I feel like I'm unsure if it's ok to wear them but I feel like I have to wear them or I'll be in trouble in case there's no bathroom nearby etc and I have an episode. I hope that makes sense. I have really bad nerves and sometimes my nerves causes me to leak and I often find poop stains when I need to fart and when ever I feel like I have gas I feel like I have to crap my self at the same time. It's not a funny experience to have trust me I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I can control it on different occasions but I haven't had a accident yet. Mostly I end up having urge incontinence when I get really stressed out and constantly have to go to the bathroom that's when the diaper has to come in because I actually had wet my self the other night and it wasn't a fun experience. And when I have the urge I can't hold it in and make it to the bathroom if that makes sense. I hope this helps.

Plus my doctor wants me wearing them in social situations when I'm in public in huge crowds. He wants to schedule an appointment to get a rectal check done to see if he wants me to wear plastic pants over my diapers or not for extra protection. He made the request because of the wetting etc. I often feel like I have to poop my self though and I hate it I have constipation along with IBS and I'm afraid to take laxatives and the reason they want me wearing them is to prevent minor stool leakage. My counselor has IBS as well and tells me not to trust farts or I'll be in trouble. My doctor agrees. So it's better safe than sorry. At times I do love wearing my diapers because when ever I do end up having a minor episode I can just change in the bathroom when I'm doing outtings in the community with my medical staff because I have a cognitve disability. Because that's what they're trained for for people like me.

 

[Rob110]

Theres no reason to feel guilty about wearing diapers for a Medical need, if all your doctors are recommending diapers they you should be wearing premium diapers 24/7 or when out and about. Wearing a diaper you can trust to do its job is a great feeling I have had a unexpected few bowel movements and multiple smaller issues when a fart becomes a small bowel leak and I do not worry when it happens as I have learned to trust my diaper.

 

[Wetshisbed]

I refuse to feel any shame or guilt about wearing nappies.

 

[Sidewinder]

Theres no reason to feel guilty about wearing diapers for a Medical need, if all your doctors are recommending diapers they you should be wearing premium diapers 24/7 or when out and about. Wearing a diaper you can trust to do its job is a great feeling I have had a unexpected few bowel movements and multiple smaller issues when a fart becomes a small bowel leak and I do not worry when it happens as I have learned to trust my diaper.

I agree.

 

[TyphaHare]

I felt nervous and bad about managing my IBS with diapers at first, too.
I was already using diapers for regressing, play and such when my IBS flared up so bad I realised that I really NEED them. I never knew when I would mess myself, a little or a lot. My condition was not attached to any particular food so it was really sucky. It was just unpredictable.
Not wearing diapers would mean missing out on seeing friends, going out to eat etc.. so to save my social life (and my underwear lol) I started using nappies out and about.
I got used to wearing by putting on some random, thin medical ones and going about my day normally without stress. Just doing stuff and noticing how no one pays attention to me. This made me feel secure enough to start using proper diapers which can contain the worst mess, and no one noticed even that.

I need some really heavy duty nappies for my painful IBS problem. Betterdry was my go-to.

Slowly I realised my use for need is valid and completely different than my desire to be little and use diapers as a fun play element..!
Now I haven't needed to use nappies to manage my IBS for a whole year! Doctors found me some proper meds to make my tummy not hurt so much all the time so that's nice, too.

TL;DR these helped me;
1. Practicing to wear diapers so I feel no anxiety in public
2. Separating the ABDL side from medical side. I did not use any ABDL theme diapers outside when dealing with IBS symptoms.

 

[PaddedShooterBooty27]

I agree with what most of the folks are saying here, if you have a medical need, then you should have much less shame of being found out than most of us do! And i agree, even though you have a fetish for it just remember that you are not hurting anyone with it!

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Self talk helps.

"I have a need. It comes first. This was recommended by my therapist. My factory installed ABDL comes second. I'm okay."

Guilt is when one behaves in a way that doesn't line up with his or her own values. You feel guilty because your brain is lying to you.

It's telling you, "You have a factory installed kink. You're wearing diapers. Therefore, you're forcing your kink on people."

This is a lie, sweetheart. You are not. You're dealing with a real need.

Shame is when one behaves in a way that misaligns with societies values. You're not doing that, either. If anything, Joe and Joanne Public are jumping to the judgment that the only people who need diapers are the very young, the very damaged or old, or the very bad.

That, "very bad," notion comes from when most were trained. It was okay to shame most people until very recently, so, they carry it with them.

Don't carry it with you. You're not responsible for all of society's view of diapers. You're not bad, nor can they see your ABDL.

I'm both, too. I have CP, and it renders me not the most continent, and I'm an AB/Little. I get it.

Question. Would you judge me half as hard as you do yourself?

No, right?

Love yourself that much.

Would you judge an IC for whom Betterdry worked, for getting Crinklz instead? What if the person's trusted vender was out of Betterdry? BinkyGirl is IC, and the Cloudee really works for her. She's difficult to size, and can't afford to wait until all white diapers are in stock.

Point being, let's say the worst happens, and Joe or Joeanne Public judge you. Sometimes, that's on them. You aren't forcing it on them. They just happened to see the print you got because you got sick of white, or the vender was out of anything white that actually works for you. If prints are just uncomfortable for you, and remind you of ABDL, and that's uncomfortable for you, fine, but don't let fear of their judgment leave you with sub-par diapers, or sick of white. It ain't up to them.

 

[rennecfox]

I don't have any problems controlling. It's just when I eat certain foods my therapist/counselor suggest I wear the diapers just in case I have an episode. Like for example for today my anxiety wasn't that bad. I had a pretty good day TBH. It's just when I feel like I have to wear a diaper I feel like I'm unsure if it's ok to wear them but I feel like I have to wear them or I'll be in trouble in case there's no bathroom nearby etc and I have an episode. I hope that makes sense. I have really bad nerves and sometimes my nerves causes me to leak and I often find poop stains when I need to fart and when ever I feel like I have gas I feel like I have to crap my self at the same time. It's not a funny experience to have trust me I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I can control it on different occasions but I haven't had a accident yet. Mostly I end up having urge incontinence when I get really stressed out and constantly have to go to the bathroom that's when the diaper has to come in because I actually had wet my self the other night and it wasn't a fun experience. And when I have the urge I can't hold it in and make it to the bathroom if that makes sense. I hope this helps.

Plus my doctor wants me wearing them in social situations when I'm in public in huge crowds. He wants to schedule an appointment to get a rectal check done to see if he wants me to wear plastic pants over my diapers or not for extra protection. He made the request because of the wetting etc. I often feel like I have to poop my self though and I hate it I have constipation along with IBS and I'm afraid to take laxatives and the reason they want me wearing them is to prevent minor stool leakage. My counselor has IBS as well and tells me not to trust farts or I'll be in trouble. My doctor agrees. So it's better safe than sorry. At times I do love wearing my diapers because when ever I do end up having a minor episode I can just change in the bathroom when I'm doing outtings in the community with my medical staff because I have a cognitve disability. Because that's what they're trained for for people like me.

Then you shouldn't feel guilty about wearing, remind yourself its to prevent an embarrassing situation, not create one. You're wearing the product to protect clothing/furniture/ect. You're underwear is nobodies business, if it helps manage the condition you should feel no more guilty then someone wearing glasses does to help them see.

 

[goodnites2011]

I wasnt so sure where to post this so I'm hoping someone nice could help me out. I'm getting sick and irritated of this. So lately I'm starting to feel really guilty about wearing diapers. I have IBS and I sometimes wear diapers when I feel like I need them in public. Especially I have to wear them due to my psychiatrist telling me I should wear them because I have severe anxiety and that IBS and anxiety could trigger an accident.

I feel pretty shameful right now and guilty. I also have a diaper fetish which makes me even feel even more guilty. Every time I really do have a mild accident I feel ashamed of my self. I start panicking and my stomach feels worse and feels like I need to pee more more from bad nerves.

How do I get over this guilty feeling? I also don't want people finding out I'm wearing diapers in public. That's my biggest fear. When I fart sometimes I feel like I'm about to crap my self. I don't get diarrhea or anything. Theytold me I don't have to wear the diapers 24/7. When I feel like I'll need them but when I do need them and wear them or wear them in general I feel really uncomfortable but on the other hand I do feel safe and secure like I'm being managed some how.

Can anyone give me any advice on how to cope with this? There might be a time where I'll really need them and I wouldn't know what to do if I refuse to wear them. I get bad nerves sometimes which leads to leaking/urinating from severe social anxiety. So i don't know what to do at this point. Should I just accept it all together that I have a mental and health condition and I have to wear diapers to help me function on a regular baises? And sorry I'm not trying to offend anyone here. At least I hope I'm not. Should I bring this up to my counselor and psychiatrist and see what they think I should do? I don't crap my self honestly I mostly get stains when I fart and when I break into hives I feel like I'm about to wet my self from embarrassment etc.

I don't think you should feel guilty about it. I can tell you from personal experience that it takes time getting used to it and figuring out the how to's but it shouldn't bring shame. I've had IBS almost my entire life and have worked around it with good pull-ups and a solid back-up plan for the worst symptom days. If it helps you out, it's comfortable and keeps you clean go for it! I've worn pull-ups for almost 20 years and have never had issues with people noticing. Plus now and days there are so many new pull-up options from prints to color schemes like underwear that it would be really hard for a random person to even tell the difference. For me, diapers/pull-ups are just part of my daily clothing and attire. I think nothing of it anymore other than their just another form of my regular underwear, they just keep me cleaner and more comfortable.

I've also found an incredible cream for the "flare-up" days, skid marks and the rashes and discomfort. Thera cream (made by McKesson and sold at most pharmacy's and medical stores online). It has a slight scent to cover any odor but it is so soothing on bare and swollen skin

 

[heatherreynolds]

In all honesty, feeling guilty about wearing a diaper when you are in danger of having accidents is silly.

 

[Tundra1975]

I don't feel guilty about having to wear diapers because I consider incontinence to be a legitimate disability that is no different than any other disability that may require some sort of special medical equipment.

 

[DiaperLink]

Thanks for being nice guyys. I feel a bit more confident in wearing my diapers and pullups now. I was stressed the other day and almost had a bad accident. Kept farting really bad I get bad stomach pains when I feel like I'm about to have an accident. Thank you for being kind. It helps allot bring confidence. I'm going to talk to my counselor, psychiatrist and doctor about the problem. Thank you.

 

[chuck]

Parents told me several years ago when I wanted to wear underpants that diapers would be better for me. I was able to wear training pants during the day (with plastic pants) but at night I wore cloth diapers. We tried different solutions but I have always come back to diapers. If you need 'em wear 'em.

 

[Frungie]

Acceptance of diapers comes in stages, similar to stages in grief after the loss of someone. Work it through in your treatment, focus on being kind and a good friend, spouse, coworker, etc. Diapers are only one small facet of who we are on this board.