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I have some diaper, little and potty humor/irony for you--it is generally childish and not so crude--feel free to share any that you might have in this thread too.
(Warning: If you are too little--don't read this first one.)
- Q: What did Tigger see in the toilet?
A: Poo(h)
(This was something that I heard a fellow classmate say when I was in Jr. high school--I accidentally made the mistake of repeating this to my little sister when she was too young and she started crying after I only asked the question--she already knew the answer)
-Q: What did the incontinent person say to their new diaper changer just as their diaper was about to be removed?
A: Would you be pissed off if you got pissed on?
- What did the mean dog say to that made the happy cat wet its pants? "Die-purr." The cat then complained about the dog hurting its feelings by whining and sounding like a baby. The cat cried out, "me, oww" in response to what the dog said--it hurt the cat just to think about it. Continuing to harass the cat, the dog subsequently replied with a "ruff" response. The poor cat was tremendously hurt at this point--after all he was a kitty at heart.
- Q: What did the king's wiper say to his master when the king asked for the servant to clean the king's rear after he took a dump?
A: Yes your hind a**.
(Interestingly I read that there was actually a king (historically in the past) who had a servant whose job was to wipe the king's tush after he pooped.)
-Q: What did the diaper changer say the exact moment they removed the child's diaper when the baby complained and requested to remain in the wet nappy?
A: Piss off.
- Q: What happens if you can't ever go #2 anymore?
A: You are constant-pated. (However being constipated might already seem (and feel) like an eternity without being able to poop for a long duration.)
- In the middle of the day a little boy went to his room, put on a diaper and fell asleep for an hour. Having peed in his diaper while sleeping, the boy changed out of it when he woke. Then when he came out of his room, his mommy asked him if he had a nice nappie--the answer was yes in 3 ways:
1: He slept like a baby (he had a nice 1 hour daytime sleep session--a "nice nap(ie)"--mommies often add an "-ie" or "-y" sound to the end of many words to make regular words sound more cute)
2: He had a "nice nappy" (i.e. diaper) until he took it off
3: He had a "nice nap pee" since he peed his diaper while he was asleep napping
- Q: What happens when you go #2 in your diaper and then you have the inevitable subsequent piss-of-crap that immediately follows?
A: You are poop-pee
- Q: If the structure you are in ignites, what should you do to help you have the calmness that you need to escape past the flames in the burning building to be able to safely exit all the way to the outside?
A: Put a pass-a-fire in your mouth (in addition to it helping you relax to stay level-headed to successfully get out in time, it will help you breath through your nose instead of your mouth to filter out more smoke through your nose hairs to minimize how much smoke you might breathe in during the process--it will also keep you from hyperventilating since less air can go through the nose than mouth)
- Q: What did the kid think when they figured out they'd been sucking on their pacifier the whole time they'd been looking for it.
A: Dumb me! (They were currently dumb after all--their mouth was full due to the binky being inside of it--they couldn't say a word.)
-Q: What happens if a plumber connects one of your fresh water pipes with one of your sewage pipes?
A: You might have a "golden shower" in the end.
-Q: What did the Mac user say when someone tried to make fun of him for his choice of computers?
A: Well, at least I don't use a PC crap
-Q: Why was the constipated diaper wearer regularly only pissed off when they gave themself a diaper change?
A: Because they figured out that they didn't give a crap...when they took their diaper full of piss off.
- A child in the park was in the process of being potty trained and told their caregiver that they had to poop, the caregiver said "oh, crap" because they knew that it would mean running far to get to the nearest toilet and the caregiver was tired after taking care of the child all day but they certainly didn't desire to clean a poopy butt--especially after a long day. So the caregiver told the child to start running to the toilet with them. The child proceeded to poop their nappy on the run to the restroom. When they arrived to the bathroom, the caregiver was exhausted from the run to the toilet but only now at this point first discovered that the child had pooped their nappy before they arrived at the toilet. The caregiver asked the child why they didn't hold it so that they could poop in the toilet and the child said, "you told me to poop just before we started running--you said 'oh, crap', remember?" At this point the caregiver replied to the child using those same words, "oh, crap." And to the dismay of the caregiver, the child once again followed the orders on the spot immediately, giving them even more to clean since the child's nappy started leaking poop at this point.
(Note: I coined all of these myself except for the Tigger one...after all, Tigger saw it first. And on similar topics: kids, just remember seeing Pooh on you diaper is much different than seeing poo on your diaper!--perhaps manufactures put Pooh on their diapers so bystanders who might not be paying very close attention to what a mom says about their child's diaper are subconsciously less likely to think a mom is saying the diaper leaked and they might just think she is talking about "Pooh" being on the diaper...)
(Warning: If you are too little--don't read this first one.)
- Q: What did Tigger see in the toilet?
A: Poo(h)
(This was something that I heard a fellow classmate say when I was in Jr. high school--I accidentally made the mistake of repeating this to my little sister when she was too young and she started crying after I only asked the question--she already knew the answer)
-Q: What did the incontinent person say to their new diaper changer just as their diaper was about to be removed?
A: Would you be pissed off if you got pissed on?
- What did the mean dog say to that made the happy cat wet its pants? "Die-purr." The cat then complained about the dog hurting its feelings by whining and sounding like a baby. The cat cried out, "me, oww" in response to what the dog said--it hurt the cat just to think about it. Continuing to harass the cat, the dog subsequently replied with a "ruff" response. The poor cat was tremendously hurt at this point--after all he was a kitty at heart.
- Q: What did the king's wiper say to his master when the king asked for the servant to clean the king's rear after he took a dump?
A: Yes your hind a**.
(Interestingly I read that there was actually a king (historically in the past) who had a servant whose job was to wipe the king's tush after he pooped.)
-Q: What did the diaper changer say the exact moment they removed the child's diaper when the baby complained and requested to remain in the wet nappy?
A: Piss off.
- Q: What happens if you can't ever go #2 anymore?
A: You are constant-pated. (However being constipated might already seem (and feel) like an eternity without being able to poop for a long duration.)
- In the middle of the day a little boy went to his room, put on a diaper and fell asleep for an hour. Having peed in his diaper while sleeping, the boy changed out of it when he woke. Then when he came out of his room, his mommy asked him if he had a nice nappie--the answer was yes in 3 ways:
1: He slept like a baby (he had a nice 1 hour daytime sleep session--a "nice nap(ie)"--mommies often add an "-ie" or "-y" sound to the end of many words to make regular words sound more cute)
2: He had a "nice nappy" (i.e. diaper) until he took it off
3: He had a "nice nap pee" since he peed his diaper while he was asleep napping
- Q: What happens when you go #2 in your diaper and then you have the inevitable subsequent piss-of-crap that immediately follows?
A: You are poop-pee
- Q: If the structure you are in ignites, what should you do to help you have the calmness that you need to escape past the flames in the burning building to be able to safely exit all the way to the outside?
A: Put a pass-a-fire in your mouth (in addition to it helping you relax to stay level-headed to successfully get out in time, it will help you breath through your nose instead of your mouth to filter out more smoke through your nose hairs to minimize how much smoke you might breathe in during the process--it will also keep you from hyperventilating since less air can go through the nose than mouth)
- Q: What did the kid think when they figured out they'd been sucking on their pacifier the whole time they'd been looking for it.
A: Dumb me! (They were currently dumb after all--their mouth was full due to the binky being inside of it--they couldn't say a word.)
-Q: What happens if a plumber connects one of your fresh water pipes with one of your sewage pipes?
A: You might have a "golden shower" in the end.
-Q: What did the Mac user say when someone tried to make fun of him for his choice of computers?
A: Well, at least I don't use a PC crap
-Q: Why was the constipated diaper wearer regularly only pissed off when they gave themself a diaper change?
A: Because they figured out that they didn't give a crap...when they took their diaper full of piss off.
- A child in the park was in the process of being potty trained and told their caregiver that they had to poop, the caregiver said "oh, crap" because they knew that it would mean running far to get to the nearest toilet and the caregiver was tired after taking care of the child all day but they certainly didn't desire to clean a poopy butt--especially after a long day. So the caregiver told the child to start running to the toilet with them. The child proceeded to poop their nappy on the run to the restroom. When they arrived to the bathroom, the caregiver was exhausted from the run to the toilet but only now at this point first discovered that the child had pooped their nappy before they arrived at the toilet. The caregiver asked the child why they didn't hold it so that they could poop in the toilet and the child said, "you told me to poop just before we started running--you said 'oh, crap', remember?" At this point the caregiver replied to the child using those same words, "oh, crap." And to the dismay of the caregiver, the child once again followed the orders on the spot immediately, giving them even more to clean since the child's nappy started leaking poop at this point.
(Note: I coined all of these myself except for the Tigger one...after all, Tigger saw it first. And on similar topics: kids, just remember seeing Pooh on you diaper is much different than seeing poo on your diaper!--perhaps manufactures put Pooh on their diapers so bystanders who might not be paying very close attention to what a mom says about their child's diaper are subconsciously less likely to think a mom is saying the diaper leaked and they might just think she is talking about "Pooh" being on the diaper...)
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