Bringing issue up with my wife.

[newtothis2024]

Little back ground info. I’m 31 and been with my wife for the past 8 years now. As of recently I have started having some issues holding my bladder whenever I sneeze or pick up something heavy etc. and sometimes I will leak a little bit. Enough to sometimes make a small wet spot on my pants and occasionally rather larg spot. I’ve been wearing diapers secretly to avoid just peeing my pants which I’m far more embarrassed by than the idea of diapers but am even more nervous and terrified of revealing either to my wife.

 

[Kbaby84]

i would encourage you to have a conversation. more importantly should schedule an appointment with your doctor. there are medical things that can be causing this. it also is noce to have the love and support of your spouse.

 

[Lethdale]

Little back ground info. I’m 31 and been with my wife for the past 8 years now. As of recently I have started having some issues holding my bladder whenever I sneeze or pick up something heavy etc. and sometimes I will leak a little bit. Enough to sometimes make a small wet spot on my pants and occasionally rather larg spot. I’ve been wearing diapers secretly to avoid just peeing my pants which I’m far more embarrassed by than the idea of diapers but am even more nervous and terrified of

Book an appointment with your doctor and tell your wife why you are doing so.
The outcome should make it easier for you to discuss your problem with your spouse.
I wish you well.

 

[newtothis2024]

How do I start the conversation with my wife though without being completely humiliated?

 

[Rob110]

Be open and honest with your wife my IC issue started the same way damp underwear then wetspots on my pants I let my wife know and she was very supportive I wore realfit for men from depends for a few months but I had to upgrade to taped diapers . My wife came with me for my first urologist visit and tests and she had done a bunch of research a head of time and insisted i skip the meds and simply wear a diaper to manage my IC issues. Let your wife know you are scheduling an urologist appointment to see what’s happening there is no shame in having bladder issues there are millions of us out there that need to wear 24/7 to keep our pants dry.

Just relax and let her know you are having leaks and need to wear protection to keep your pants dry while you wait to see the urologist to see if anything can be done. Ive been diapered for over 9 years now and my wife has supported my decision with out question and she reminds me to tell the urologist I do not want meds when I have my yearly checkup

 

[AlwaysPissed]

There are a large number of people out there with exactly the same issue as you. You are not alone, and there is no reason for you to be ashamed because of this condition. It's purely medical. Trust her, she is your partner.

 

[Lethdale]

How do I start the conversation with my wife though without being completely humiliated?

Please try not to feel like this. There's no shame in having these issues.
As I said, book an appointment with the doc. Your health is more important than any embarrassment.
You have to tell your wife at some point.
The reason for seeing the doctor is a good point to tell her.
When I went for my urodynamics, I told everyone and made jest of it.
No one judged me. No one belittled me. It was fine.

 

[newtothis2024]

Should I tell her I have already been wearing diapers to combat the issue?

 

[Lethdale]

Should I tell her I have already been wearing diapers to combat the issue?

That's up to you but I think it's best to be open.

 

[Tenawearer]

I am not i.c. and wary to give advice on the i.c. forum. You can't keep it from your wife forever and just sitting down and talking about it is difficult for you. I would suggest first going to your doctor and have yourself checked out. Your dr will give you management advice depending on the diagnosis. You could bring your diaper wearing up with him/her. After your initial visit tell your wife that you have been to the dr due to bladder issues and then take it from there.

 

[newtothis2024]

Should I go ahead and order more diapers online that are good quality after revealing everything to her or just keep using the store bought ones I have that are not that great? I don’t want to overwhelm her

 

[newtothis2024]

Sorry if I sound like a fool or am asking senseless questions but I’m very nervous about beaching the subject with her.

 

[DannyJoe]

Should I go ahead and order more diapers online that are good quality after revealing everything to her or just keep using the store bought ones I have that are not that great? I don’t want to overwhelm her

I think you're overthinking this. Make an appointment with your pcp and have an open and honest conversation with your wife. Yes, it will be somewhat embarrassing but I'm sure your wife will be concerned for your health. Remember -"in sickness and in health." And go buy whatever product works best for you.

 

[Tenawearer]

No senseless questions, only senseless answers. Medical diapers are better than store bought and are discreet to less discreet depending on the absorbancy. When your wife sees that protection is necessary for medical reasons she should understand.

 

[Lethdale]

Sorry if I sound like a fool or am asking senseless questions but I’m very nervous about beaching the subject with her.

Only you know your wife.
Book an doctor's appointment.
Tell her what it's for.
Then go from there.

 

[newtothis2024]

Is there any particular brand that people prefer. I don’t even know what’s good or not. I was going to get some anti-form m4 next. I work 12 hour shifts so something affordable that can last would be preferred

 

[DannyJoe]

Is there any particular brand that people prefer. I don’t even know what’s good or not. I was going to get some anti-form m4 next. I work 12 hour shifts so something affordable that can last would be preferred

Northshore makes the best incontinence supplies in the world IMHO.

 

[newtothis2024]

Northshore makes the best incontinence supplies in the world IMHO.

That’s almost double the price though for less diapers.

 

[DannyJoe]

That’s almost double the price though for less diapers.

Quality over quantity my friend

 

[Subtlerustle]

It sounds like diapers are overkill. Maybe men’s pads would be more appropriate. Discreet and way cheaper.
I wear these for after dribble which can either be a couple of drops or like half an ounce. Btw, my doc checked my prostate and PSA levels and I’m fine.