Bathroom Incident at Work

[Diaperman95]

That is classed as a threat, usually against the law, and a silly way to go when dealing with anyone.

call it what you will but the company in reference should already be ashamed for making employees get a hall pass for bathroom breaks.. It is their employment of the Manager that they are responsible for his actions.

I also meant it in the since that it was a repeat conversation not the opening statement. Telling a employer you are going to take legal action against them for violating your basic human rights is certainly not illegal in a America either. It is called standing up for yourself. It is not slander if it is true.

I just could never work for a place like that in the first place. I worked for Walmart once in the 90's and I will never work for someone that I am just a number. I do realize times are hard and not everyone has the ability to pic where they work. But as stated the entire restroom policy this company has is questionable at best and they have been taken to court over the very mater in the past. And for good reason.

 

[Sprint3473]

Would be nice to get an update from the OP, if there is one...

 

[BigAl2]

Would be nice to get an update from the OP, if there is one...

I was thinking the same thing.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

***Update***

I really appreciate everyone and all the help with this. I should say that I’m trans, but present as male at work.

I have a family friend who is a practicing attorney in the state I work in, but not reside. He gave me some really good info, including who to contact if issues arise. He said the most important thing is to decide what I would like to happen to my boss. Am I looking to get him in trouble, fired, bring legal action against the company, or just ensure it doesn’t happen again. He also stated that as a salaried employee of the company, I could name my boss in any legal action as well. I told him that my goal is to be able to maintain my privacy, rely on my accommodation without fear of reprisal.

At work, first thing I did was go talk to the witness in the Wellness center and got his written statement on the official company statement form. I then had a meeting with my Senior HR manager. I told her that I needed to bring up an incident that quite frankly goes against the company’s ethics policy, as well as my legal protections. I was up front with her about discussing the incident with legal counsel. Then I told her about my accommodation, what it’s for (though I didn’t need to), and then explained what happened. I only spoke on the facts, and not my feelings or my assumptions.

Her jaw hit the floor, which raised my confidence. She said she was sorry I had to go through it. I presented her with my statement, and that of the witness. I could tell her mind was racing, especially since I brought up the lawyer.

I told her my intent was not to cause a fuss, that making a huge ordeal out of it would only bring a lot of embarrassment to all parties. I just said that I want to make sure this doesn’t happen again, that I and every employee of the company have the right to privacy. She agreed. She asked what she can do to help. I told her that obviously my boss needs to be reminded of basic human dignity, and that I need to know that I can continue to use the restroom with privacy for my needs. She said absolutely, and they will obviously perform an internal investigation into the incident. She assured me that I will not have a repeat incident.

I then told her something that she clearly hadn’t considered. I told her that the incident has had bad affects on my mental well being. I told her that since this incident, I have felt that my boss clearly doesn't want me walking all the way to the Wellness Center, as made evident by the incident. And because of this, I started taking my backpack to our desks on the floor and just change in the normal bathroom. I explained that this has been embarrassing as other associates and managers have walked in. I obviously use the closed stall, but the sounds and me dropping the diaper in the garbage are clear to everyone.

She was appalled and asked if my boss was aware of my accommodation and I confirmed that he did. She said “moving forward, use the Wellness Center, I assure you, you will not have to worry about repercussions.”

Fast forward a few days later and I was called into the conference room where my HR Manager, General Manager, and my boss were waiting. My boss was visibly scared. My General Manager stood up and greeted me at the door and invited me to sit down. I have to say that my General manager is amazing. I’ve always felt that way. He and the HR manager both apologized for what happened and said that that I have nothing to worry about. My boss then apologized and said there wasn’t any meaning behind his actions. He wasn’t thinking, other than the the signs he wanted me to hang up. He then agreed what happened was wrong and promised it wouldn’t happen again. The meeting ended with all of us agreeing on the way forward.

My general manager and I were the last to leave and asked me if I could amend my accommodation to include frequent restroom breaks. That way I’m legally protected for not only the use of the wellness center, but for using it often. I told him I’d start the process that day.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

You have every right to go to HR with a complaint but at the same time would it burn an already fragile bridge between you and your boss…? Could you go directly to your boss about his lack of awareness and lack of care for your medical needs?

That would be the simple answer yes. But in the past, he made it aware that I was “up front (of the building) too much”. So I then told him about my accommodation and why. He was kind of taken aback. But then would still pressure me about leaving the floor. He often calls me on the radio while I’m in the bathroom. Add that to the fact that none of us feel comfortable bringing up stuff like this to him because he always makes it our fault and scapegoats his way out of it.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

I was thinking the same thing.

I was thinking the same thing.

Sorry, Covid his our household again.

 

[AccidentsHappen]

Really glad you were able to get this resolved in a somewhat dignified and effective manner. Good for you for getting what you need. Hopefully that's the end of it. Sounds like HR and senior management have your back.

 

[DBabygirl2]

Something recently happened at work and I really want to get some feedback from others here. I really feel like my privacy was violated, but not sure what to do.

I work in a large warehouse that everyone here probably orders from. In the building, there is only one single use restroom, which is in the Wellness Center. This is like a nurses office. I have an accommodation to use that restroom to change during my shift.

Anyway, my boss is aware of my accommodation, and the reason for it. One day, he stopped me going in and started asking questions like, what’s up, is everything ok, was there an injury? Stuff like that. I said no, I just need to use the restroom. He said ok, and followed me in to the Wellness Center. I gave him a weird look, and then I went into the restroom and shut the door, thinking he left. I changed my diaper, washed my hands and opened the door. This is the creepy part….my boss was standing directly outside the bathroom door, actually about three inches from the door. He had been standing there the entire time. He undoubtedly heard me change my diaper.

When I opened the door, I was like “can I help you?” He again started asking me if I was ok, if everything is ok. It’s embarrassing that he knows, and then to have him standing that close to the door, waiting for me to get out made me feel so embarrassed. I went from embarrassed to pissed really quick.

After hounding me about being ok, he asked me to hang some signs. He could have done that on the floor, and given me my privacy.

Am I justified in feeling embarrassed to the point where I want to file a report with HR? I had to tell him about my accommodation and diapers because he questioned me going all the way to the front to use the bathroom. Now I feel like he’s almost spying on me to see what I’m doing.

Thanks for all the support!

Totally reportable to HR.. that’s a form of harassment and anyone could reference OSHA on that!! Not ok for you to even be questioned about your accommodation. AND they abused their position of power as your supervisor.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Really glad you were able to get this resolved in a somewhat dignified and effective manner. Good for you for getting what you need. Hopefully that's the end of it. Sounds like HR and senior management have your back.

Thank you. My General Manager already knew that I wore diapers. He was the one that approved my accommodation two years ago. My Senior HR Manager has only been with the company for about six months, so far she’s been amazing.

 

[BigAl2]

Im glad you got it sorted.

 

[Diaperedff1]

Two words : later and

I would start keeping a written record just to document all that's going on. sounds really creepy to me also. be papered for retaliation from your boss and maybe the company........document document document

Digital voice recorder

 

[Diaperedff1]

Two words : later and

Digital voice recorder

Damm auto correct ... later and voice recorder.

 

[Diaperedff1]

Damm auto correct ... later and voice recorder.

Wtf lawyer....not later

 

[LePew]

This was handled very well. Good job to you and management.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Wtf lawyer....not later

where I work, consent is required for voice recording.

 

[HoneySnow]

I agree go to HR. I have had friends deal with similar crap when it came to pumping breast milk.
People with IBS are often leaving to use the restroom many times during a shift. Your need is no different, some people just suck!

 

[BabyHailey1977]

This was handled very well. Good job to you and management.

Thank you.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

I agree go to HR. I have had friends deal with similar crap when it came to pumping breast milk.
People with IBS are often leaving to use the restroom many times during a shift. Your need is no different, some people just suck!

I do have IBS as well. It’s in my accommodation.

 

[AttilaThePun]

That would be the simple answer yes. But in the past, he made it aware that I was “up front (of the building) too much”. So I then told him about my accommodation and why. He was kind of taken aback. But then would still pressure me about leaving the floor. He often calls me on the radio while I’m in the bathroom. Add that to the fact that none of us feel comfortable bringing up stuff like this to him because he always makes it our fault and scapegoats his way out of it.

If he always "makes it our fault and scapegoats his way out of it" then *he knows what he's doing is wrong* - otherwise, he wouldn't try to shift blame. What an absolute turd of a boss.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

If he always "makes it our fault and scapegoats his way out of it" then *he knows what he's doing is wrong* - otherwise, he wouldn't try to shift blame. What an absolute turd of a boss.

100%. Nobody in the building wants to work for him. I only have to make it until January when we move around.