Bathroom Incident at Work

[BabyHailey1977]

Something recently happened at work and I really want to get some feedback from others here. I really feel like my privacy was violated, but not sure what to do.

I work in a large warehouse that everyone here probably orders from. In the building, there is only one single use restroom, which is in the Wellness Center. This is like a nurses office. I have an accommodation to use that restroom to change during my shift.

Anyway, my boss is aware of my accommodation, and the reason for it. One day, he stopped me going in and started asking questions like, what’s up, is everything ok, was there an injury? Stuff like that. I said no, I just need to use the restroom. He said ok, and followed me in to the Wellness Center. I gave him a weird look, and then I went into the restroom and shut the door, thinking he left. I changed my diaper, washed my hands and opened the door. This is the creepy part….my boss was standing directly outside the bathroom door, actually about three inches from the door. He had been standing there the entire time. He undoubtedly heard me change my diaper.

When I opened the door, I was like “can I help you?” He again started asking me if I was ok, if everything is ok. It’s embarrassing that he knows, and then to have him standing that close to the door, waiting for me to get out made me feel so embarrassed. I went from embarrassed to pissed really quick.

After hounding me about being ok, he asked me to hang some signs. He could have done that on the floor, and given me my privacy.

Am I justified in feeling embarrassed to the point where I want to file a report with HR? I had to tell him about my accommodation and diapers because he questioned me going all the way to the front to use the bathroom. Now I feel like he’s almost spying on me to see what I’m doing.

Thanks for all the support!

 

[SparkyDog]

Id go to HR about it.
Though I assume no cameras in the area so will be he said she said.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Id go to HR about it.
Though I assume no cameras in the area so will be he said she said.

No cameras in the Wellness Center, but the staff saw the entire thing and were creeped out as well.

 

[SparkyDog]

Great if you have witnesses go to HR with that information

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Great if you have witnesses go to HR with that information

My thought exactly.

I am prescribed diapers through the VA that require changing frequently, which means more trips to the Wellness Center. But because of the drama with my boss I started buying higher capacity ones to use. But that gets expensive.

Also, to stop the frequent trips to Wellness, I started taking my bag with me to my area, and just change in the regular restrooms with everyone else. This means I have to time it perfectly to lessen the chance of others being in there.

I honestly don’t think this situation is right. I’ve talked to my boss and he explicitly denied ever requiring me to let him know I was going to step off and use the restroom But it’s his actions, not words that are causing the issues.

He says that I don’t need to tell him that I’m going to use the bathroom, so I just go. But then he’ll call me over the radio asking me where I am. I obviously don’t reply until I’m done, which makes him wonder where I am at. I’m to the point where I just want to respond to the radio with “I’m changing my diaper, I’ll be back in a moment!!!!”

One thing with my boss is that he is the king of implying, knowing he can’t say things outright. So he will say, “I didn’t ever tell you that you can’t use the restroom.” But he will make comments like “you were off the floor and an associate was looking for you.” Or, “we needed you to make a decision and couldn’t find you. I need you to be more available, and in the area. I shouldn’t have to ask around to find out where you are.” He’s even said multiple times that he’s asked my assistant where I am and he didn't know where I was. The only way to solve this, is to tell either him, or my assistant that I am going to change…..which is exactly what he told me he’d never demand. So he implies it.

 

[AccidentsHappen]

This is extremely NOT ok. Go directly to HR. Your privacy accommodation was absolutely unequivocally violated.

Edit this is sexual harassment, in case it's not clear, considering the boss already knows the reason for accommodation.

 

[greatlake5]

Simply "creepy." Kind of weird but in a big warehouse, plenty of crazy employees.Including your boss. Maybe he has a thing for you? Be careful.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

This is extremely NOT ok. Go directly to HR. Your privacy accommodation was absolutely unequivocally violated.

Edit this is sexual harassment, in case it's not clear, considering the boss already knows the reason for accommodation.

Thank you.

 

[AccidentsHappen]

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Diaper or no diaper, same as if your boss stood outside the bathroom stall while listening to you do your business. This would also be a claim.

Get this documented in writing. The company MUST follow up or they are in SERIOUS legal jeopardy at your discretion.

HR will address it stat, they are there to protect the company, not the employee, but in this case, they need to protect themselves from your boss and you. So they WILL act if they know what's good for them.

Speaking as a hiring manager with a HR background.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

You're welcome.

Diaper or no diaper, same as if your boss stood outside the bathroom stall while listening to you do your business. This would also be a claim.

Get this documented in writing. The company MUST follow up or they are in SERIOUS legal jeopardy at your discretion.

HR will address it stat, they are there to protect the company, not the employee, but in this case, they need to protect themselves from your boss and you. So they WILL act if they know what's good for them.

Speaking as a hiring manager with a HR background.

Thanks again, I’ll talk to my HR manager ASAP.

 

[DinoFrant]

Something recently happened at work and I really want to get some feedback from others here. I really feel like my privacy was violated, but not sure what to do.

I work in a large warehouse that everyone here probably orders from. In the building, there is only one single use restroom, which is in the Wellness Center. This is like a nurses office. I have an accommodation to use that restroom to change during my shift.

Anyway, my boss is aware of my accommodation, and the reason for it. One day, he stopped me going in and started asking questions like, what’s up, is everything ok, was there an injury? Stuff like that. I said no, I just need to use the restroom. He said ok, and followed me in to the Wellness Center. I gave him a weird look, and then I went into the restroom and shut the door, thinking he left. I changed my diaper, washed my hands and opened the door. This is the creepy part….my boss was standing directly outside the bathroom door, actually about three inches from the door. He had been standing there the entire time. He undoubtedly heard me change my diaper.

When I opened the door, I was like “can I help you?” He again started asking me if I was ok, if everything is ok. It’s embarrassing that he knows, and then to have him standing that close to the door, waiting for me to get out made me feel so embarrassed. I went from embarrassed to pissed really quick.

After hounding me about being ok, he asked me to hang some signs. He could have done that on the floor, and given me my privacy.

Am I justified in feeling embarrassed to the point where I want to file a report with HR? I had to tell him about my accommodation and diapers because he questioned me going all the way to the front to use the bathroom. Now I feel like he’s almost spying on me to see what I’m doing.

Thanks for all the support!

First of all, congratulations for not outright punching that creep in the face, as he deserved.

Secondly, yes; you need to address this situation to HR... and maybe a lawyer.

 

[UrgentWees]

What an absolute creep. Maybe he gets a kick out of intimidating or embarrassing others. Absolutely escalate it. Even if the complaint can’t be substantiated the record of it and possibility of increased scrutiny might be enough to get him off your back.

 

[LePew]

It’s a good thing that you’re taking this to HR. There needs to be a record of this event in case things get worse.

 

[EcoIncon]

First of all, congratulations for not outright punching that creep in the face, as he deserved.

Secondly, yes; you need to address this situation to HR... and maybe a lawyer.

I am sorry you are dealing with this.

I agree that maybe consulting a lawyer for this would be a good idea. HR certainly.

 

[BigAl2]

Dang that was not called for. Hope you get it settled.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

after writing this post, and listening to you all, I’m most definitely going to HR on Monday. I didn’t really sleep last night because I kept going over it in my head, and with other things with my boss and just kept getting angrier and angrier.

 

[Angelapinks]

My thought exactly.

I am prescribed diapers through the VA that require changing frequently, which means more trips to the Wellness Center. But because of the drama with my boss I started buying higher capacity ones to use. But that gets expensive.

Also, to stop the frequent trips to Wellness, I started taking my bag with me to my area, and just change in the regular restrooms with everyone else. This means I have to time it perfectly to lessen the chance of others being in there.

I honestly don’t think this situation is right. I’ve talked to my boss and he explicitly denied ever requiring me to let him know I was going to step off and use the restroom But it’s his actions, not words that are causing the issues.

He says that I don’t need to tell him that I’m going to use the bathroom, so I just go. But then he’ll call me over the radio asking me where I am. I obviously don’t reply until I’m done, which makes him wonder where I am at. I’m to the point where I just want to respond to the radio with “I’m changing my diaper, I’ll be back in a moment!!!!”

One thing with my boss is that he is the king of implying, knowing he can’t say things outright. So he will say, “I didn’t ever tell you that you can’t use the restroom.” But he will make comments like “you were off the floor and an associate was looking for you.” Or, “we needed you to make a decision and couldn’t find you. I need you to be more available, and in the area. I shouldn’t have to ask around to find out where you are.” He’s even said multiple times that he’s asked my assistant where I am and he didn't know where I was. The only way to solve this, is to tell either him, or my assistant that I am going to change…..which is exactly what he told me he’d never demand. So he implies it.

Sounds to me like he is trying to find a way to dismiss you without prejudice so he is free and clear. Go to HR and explain the whole situation.

 

[fredy552]

Something recently happened at work and I really want to get some feedback from others here. I really feel like my privacy was violated, but not sure what to do.

I work in a large warehouse that everyone here probably orders from. In the building, there is only one single use restroom, which is in the Wellness Center. This is like a nurses office. I have an accommodation to use that restroom to change during my shift.

Anyway, my boss is aware of my accommodation, and the reason for it. One day, he stopped me going in and started asking questions like, what’s up, is everything ok, was there an injury? Stuff like that. I said no, I just need to use the restroom. He said ok, and followed me in to the Wellness Center. I gave him a weird look, and then I went into the restroom and shut the door, thinking he left. I changed my diaper, washed my hands and opened the door. This is the creepy part….my boss was standing directly outside the bathroom door, actually about three inches from the door. He had been standing there the entire time. He undoubtedly heard me change my diaper.

When I opened the door, I was like “can I help you?” He again started asking me if I was ok, if everything is ok. It’s embarrassing that he knows, and then to have him standing that close to the door, waiting for me to get out made me feel so embarrassed. I went from embarrassed to pissed really quick.

After hounding me about being ok, he asked me to hang some signs. He could have done that on the floor, and given me my privacy.

Am I justified in feeling embarrassed to the point where I want to file a report with HR? I had to tell him about my accommodation and diapers because he questioned me going all the way to the front to use the bathroom. Now I feel like he’s almost spying on me to see what I’m doing.

Thanks for all the support!

WOW! Just WOW! Yes, I believe you are justified.

 

[chamberpot]

I would start keeping a written record just to document all that's going on. sounds really creepy to me also. be papered for retaliation from your boss and maybe the company........document document document

 

[Edgewater]

Although I agree with what is being said here. I would add just a bit of caution as huge organizations place efficiency requirements on supervisors and managers and although slim, that maybe an underlining issue.

Yes, see HR, but hold-off on the Lawyers for a moment until you see HR. FYI: Most States allow you to 'view' your Employment Folder and it would be worth looking at that as well as there may be some complains by other employees of you (needed) special trips.

It would be rare that an HR Manager would not provide you the general information covered above, as they have little interest in legal issues, especially a combination of ADA and Sexual Harassment based.

Also, outline what happened, avoiding any assumptions on your part. That will help you as you speak to HR.