Baby Bens adventures

[BBBen]

Hi community,

I decided, to start a own blog. My goal is to describe the struggles of being me and being adult baby in alldays life. I dont know, how often i am going to write a progress. But i want to share my thoughts with you from time to time.

As some of you know, there was a gap of activity between creating my profile and beeing active here. Its like you have courage to go outside with your intrests and then fear hit you hard. What if there are peoples, which knows you? What if anyone from your lifeworld finds out? It can destroy your adult world,or?....

Thats why many of us are in the begining lurkers (a english word i heard first time on this plattform). And then you read some threads here, you think everybody knows exactly what they want, what they are and have so much experience with abdl. How should i ever be part of this community?

And yeah, at first you look only for informations or stories and didnt see, that here is so much over activity. For my own history: abdl communities were only places at first for (triggerwarning)

arousal in twens and beginings of 30s. More and more the get to places were i could find infos about what abdl means. In this time i've read a view ebooks (yo know form the Bents qnd Dylan Lewis and also adult content). More and more i experienced what qbdl means to myself. For the moment i try it with the concept, that iam adult me with a baby persona. So this is the reason i sometime divide in my post adult me and baby Ben. Ben needs other things than my adult me - although both side belongs to me. And yeah Ben is fully under my control not like multipersona disseas.

For the last years i come to acceptance, and this concept could work for me. The problem is, i identify Ben as a 18 month old baby, because of the needs of nurture and care i feel.

For now, evry then and now i give my Baby Ben some time, i.e. last night i was diapered, had onesie on and cuddled with my stuffies. And yeah my wife accepted these actions, as well.

Today i wanted realy get to know more of babyme and yeah i didnt want to life longer without communiction about me with babyme.

At this point i get to know a new level of this community [something i didnt experience in other communities]: there are so many people which has or had the same problems like me. People that are abdls, too. But people that are just normal (with alldays sorrows everybody has), like me. And at all, all humans are sometimes crazy.(not only sometimes)

And the new perspective was, to get in communication, get to know the others, that are creatives, musicians, workers, have hobbies beside abdl ...
For me this was a freeing process. Why? Allthough i have a big selfconfidence, the abdl side was always a side i had to hide from others. Here i didnt have to explain me than baby me comes out. Here i can speak with others about everything without mention even diapers. But we know, we accept each other for whom he or she is. And thats great and wonderful.

How this blog will go on?
Next time i will share some experience, where my baby me was triggered without duscontinuation. I will tell you, how i was feeling.

And there will be another post about the urge to be diapered in bed all time - this is a desire i had to struggle in the moment?

Hope you enjoyed reading. Feel free to reply or ask questions. Dont take offense, if i give some answers in private conversation.

But for now: Rawwwwwrrrrr

 

[BBBen]

RAWWWRRR again

Its time for another post. Last time i mentioned what i want do on this blog.

Today i want to speak about that experience: Triggered in little space unexpected. For me it was kind of overwhelming.

It happened at adisc, while i had a good conversation. I was undiapered. And the topic wasn't quite deep about abdl. But then some word triggered me immediatly. I was shooted right away in baby space. All i could do behind the screen was to giggle and laugh.

It was only for some seconds, but adult me let my baby side take control over my body. As i said in a other thread here. Normaly i feel like a persona in whole. But this was diffrent.

Did you had ever felt like that?

For me it wasn't the first time to feel completly my baby space. Yeah my wife heard baby Ben giggle more than once .

But the described experience was diffrent. It was unexpected and i doesn't intend to fall in little space.
My first thought was: What's going on? I loose my control.
And yeah, that realy scared me. It was like a high emotional impact. There realy seems to laugh a baby in me, which takes control. Couldn't explain it better.

The only adult thought i had was: Look out for a safespace. And the conversation changed in private mode. Yeah, i come back and i realy had a good talk about it with the person here i had the contact.

But now after a few days i think, the unexpected trigger only worked, because i feeled safe at adisc. Safe and free.

Of course i asked myself, what if this happens in open space. When only words can do that, would i fall in babyspace at other situations? The good thing is, i wasn't realy full out of control. I knew how to challenge it. But what, if i couldn't challenge it evry time? Will i'll be to deep in the rabbits hole?

But yes, sometimes it is good, to don't need all triggers and paraphilias to fall in littlespace. My wife can do this to me only by patting my bumm. No diapers and no pacies needed. Littletime in alldays acting

But at all, it is good, that we could discuss these things here on adisc. If it happened again and it will be a deep impact in my life, i knew, here are friends, i could talk. Friends that could help me.

One more aspect: The feeling of being out of controll, sometimes is a big challenge in planing real little time for my baby me. Fully regression needs safeplace. But alldays situations have the structure, that you have to be adult me any time. While you are deep regressed, there can be a moment where you have to switch from one second to another. Allthough this is the setting of all relaxing situations.

But sure, because of this, i have to do the best, to give my little me safeplaces and be prepared. As i said before, its like caring for little me as a father and mother. Have little stuff prepared. Lay out a diaper. Make a baby bottle...
So my plan dor this year is: care about your inner baby me and set more safeplaces for him. But that will be experiences for more blog threads to come. Perhaps i will tell you about it.

Now my question to you: had you ever been uncontrolled triggered in little space? How did you feel and how do you cope with that?
I'm excited to hear yout experience!

Till then loud Rawwwwrrr to one and all

Edit for better understanding on 5th of january

 

[BBBen]

Hi @All,
Its time for some update. The last days Ben had quite some wonderful trips to france. One to Diaperminister and one to Disneyland. While i wrote a review to the first trip on a seperate Blog here, perhaps iam going to write something about the magic of disney for littles on another day.

But yeah within the last few weeks, there was many of changes also for adult me. As i look back, i was registered on adisc more than over a year. But still i was a lurker without big activity. I thought i didnt have to say something about my littleside and being me. And yeah there was the fear of being discovered by others and having a bad coming out.

It was december 2023 when i started to get active with one question abput finding balance. At this time i know, i have to take care and take responibility of my little baby side Ben. It was like jumping in in a large pool or more, a large ocean and beginning to swim. Although it wasnt my first little activity (yeah iam more than 30 years of my life in abdl spectrum and tried diapers, had binge and purge cicles and more) but last month something more changed.

And i get to know the real power of adisc. There are friends out there.
Hopefully we will not see us only online but in the real world at some point. Today i can imagine that. Last year i never wouldnt had thought about this.

In this time i realized more often littletime and yeah there was quite some overwhelming situations i talked about before. Today iam looking forward, how it goes on, with starting to work again after vacations.

Although i had vacation i indulge in little time 'only" than going to bed. Its quite hard to go other that, and i.e. pqint a picture, play with blocks or others while diapered amd daytime. I didnt overwhelm my wife aswell. That she is accepting my wearing the last nights at home is more i ever could imagine. And last night i was not only diapered, had my footed Pj on and had a baby bottle, we also heard some story for childs in bed. That was very relaxing.

But yeah, you know the rabbit hole is sometimes very big

Something i also couldnt imagine was, that i posted a part of me in my footed pj today. I want to express myself mire than ever. But yeah this is internet and the take care aspect and attention aspect is therecall the time, allthough i know, that i could trust my new friends.

Keep in balance - yeah that is what i had say to some of you and what others say to me. It isnt easy. And sometime i question myself, where is this part of life will go along.
At all, iam very thankful for the people, which helps me to go step by step. If i hadnt some of you, i wouldnt be at that point iam now. Never ever i would have the courage to indulge more and got to know myself. Hope i'll can give it back to the community.

 

[LuckyRed23]

@BBBen why have I only just found this??!!

 

[BBBen]

@LuckyRed23 Thats the good thing about a forum. Sometimes threads need time to be read. And yeah i go for long threads, because i couldnt take it short, when i describe my inner feelings. That is for many a barrier. But thank you for your reply and reading my thoughts

 

[LuckyRed23]

I always love to read your thoughts!
My thoughts are often not tasty.

 

[BBBen]

Hi dinobabies and littleones,

After some time passed, i thought i give an update and write about my visit at Disneyland.

The questions in a thread here were like:
Can do Disney still magic? ️️
Would little me be triggered and have his own expetience?
Is its still a place of joy and happyness?

And ofcourse, Disney can do and Yes
But from the begining.
My visit was at Disneyland Paris in a themed hotel there.

My first impression was, evrything is so colourful and the peoples are very much friendly. We had Pixie Dust right from the begining getting our reservation upgraded without extra costs.️️ The rooms were better than expected, clean and huge. Yeah there is much place for diapers and other items you need.

But i have to say, my baby support stuff had to remain at home

There are many security check at hotel and the entrance of the parks. We felt safe.

MERGE: Yeah you need money. Very much money. If you have it, it will be fun. There are stuffies like REX, cups, cloths, deko all kind of sorts, sweets, books, pictures, music.... There is so much you can buy and it feels like a huge consum temple. Aaand thats the problem: little me sees too much, he wants to buy. And not evrything is it worth. But disney knows how to present things. And yeah at a few moments i had to say to little me: No you dont need it - bbbb but papa

RIDES: there are so many good rides my little me has to giggle. Its a small world, or the cool Casey Jr. This was the ride i realy got in little mode and it was fantastic. And if you than have the luck to see Stitch or other characters it is the realy the best.

But PEOPLES: Disneyland is so growded. There are so many people and if you didnt have the premium access, you have to wait so much time. The good thing is, there are also many places where you can take a break. 🏵But if you want do something you need time or money. At all, the stuff is doing an incredible job to gove you the best experience.

SHOWS and PARADES: It was realy magical. Little me also get some tears of joy. The best was the Lion King shows at beginning. An Entertainer animated the audience with the words: Hakuna - Matata aaaand Raaaaaaawwwwrrr ok it should have been a lion but the dinoisation of the civilization is fully in progress

TOILETS: Enough and with big cabins to change.

RESTAURANTS: Very crowdy. But evrything tastes good. The best for my little me was that some food was created with the form of mickeys ears.

Would i visit again also as a little. Yesss. But one thing you have to tale attention: little me can be overwhelmed by sounds, smell and colour. Do little steps and also its hard, because of the price you spend, dont do too much at once. And then it will be possible to have a good little experience at Disney.

If you have questions, then feel free to ask me. What will be my next blog thread? Perhaps something about stress and babytime?

 

[BBBen]

 

[Cottontail]

Glad you enjoyed your trip, @BBBen! I've visited Disneyland in California quite a few times, but I've never stayed in a Disney-owned hotel. That's definitely something I'd like to experience, but as you said: . Everything's so expensive that we've always decided to stay elsewhere. My first trip to Disneyland was as a four-year-old too, so I've never visited in diapers. That's also something I'd like to experience! We'll see...

 

[BBBen]

Good morning,
Yeah it is some time gone after my last post on my blog. But today i thought i have to give a update. (Its no fully Baby Ben experience but for me an important theme)

In the last weeks i realy struggled with some stress at work. And iam realy thankful for the people here, that endure some moaning in PMs - it was more and more offtopic and i knew the only one who could handle it, is me. But i get to knew ADISC is a very good Support community for allday troubles as well. In the last days we had a question comming up in friendships:

Where is the boarder in moaning between thats ok and that too much - you are getting on my nerves (do you know that term in english?)

Yeah i think friendship is give and take - but if someone is realy in struggles, then as friend you have some responsibilities and there a times you just give more, than you take. At all friends are people, who liszen to somehow evrything concerning yourself. But as human you also has to take care for yourself - i think here is the challenge between beeing a good friend and only a person of intrest. Good friends could say to each other also things to help them out of i.e. bad behaviour or bad mood. They can say plain text and also speek about some unpleasant things. They can encourage and show steps out of bad thought circles.

The most important to do this is respect for the other being like he or she is and humility, that some things you couldnt change as a friend as well. And that means to be a friend also you havent found together a good solution or struggles ar moving forward.

Then a good friend also is someone you could relax together - because not evrything must be done today and at once.

also some struggles are triggers for others and i often think for myself that some of my themes of adult world are very triggering - for that iam sorry. Also i hope, that my friends say to me openly, if it is too much or if they are not in the mood to deal with a theme.

At all - what i find here are some realy good friends with whom i could laugh, play, go on adventures and also have some serious talks. Thank you for being here

Yeah its a very complex theme: what do you think about?

Next time, i am perhaps going to write about after wake up time.

 

[BBBen]

Just say Hi

I realize, that permanent blogging isnt me. But iam going to write here from time to time.

Sometimes little me Ben and adult me seems to be to diffrent personas in one body. And this body is getting older. While meeting the death very often, the question of time is always a companion in my life. And i realy dont know, when my time will come. Thankfully.

Thats the reason my thoughts take attention of the moment. And sometimes i overreact with tears, although i feel wonder in my heart.

For all that, i wpuld give little Ben some more real time. And as an adult i try to support Ben in having this time. My diaper stock is more filled than ever. I have a collection of some cute clothes for him. And i have big pacis and baby bottles with dinosaurs on it. Like many stuffies as well.
And sometimes i could hear the gigglinng in me. But adult life also is very strong. My wish would be to experience some longer littletime with no interrupt of adult me. Yeah that would be cool.

But life is going on. What are my plans next. At the momemt: Survive
But i know here are many survivor .

... to be vongtinude

 

[mybebaby101UK]

Dear Ben, The fact that you are able to write down your inner life here proves to me that you are strong, and have a loving wife who is active in little Bens world. It will work out ok for you both. best regards .

 

[BBBen]

Thank you @mybebaby101UK