Autism and diapers

[UnderTheRadar]

Oh!
I am a college graduate.
Class of 1985
WENTWORTH INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
Major:
ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING TECHNOLOGY.
GPA - 3.0.
My employment record was shit.
Went on SSDI in 2006.

I'm curious how that works... I mean you obviously held down a job of sorts for a while

My wife and I have seriously been considering that I should go on disability.. But I worry that because I was able to hold down a job for about 8 years that they may not understand that the only reason I was able to hold down the job was because they were overly accommodating until they were no longer willing to be overly accommodating

Then they had to let me go

My wife thinks it would make sense... I still have my own business but I really struggle to keep productive as I do commonly have to take time to recenter and sometimes that can be months at a time

Fact there was one time that it was even a couple years

I just worry that if they realize I held down job for 8 years that they'll think well why can't you do it now... Honestly I don't know why they kept me for 8 years It was really strange

It's been 8 hours at the job and it would take me at least a few hours to really be functioning properly in the job and then if anybody interrupted my work it would take another hour or two for me to get back on task

And then it would consume my evening as it would take several hours for me to switch gears back into home life

Usually this resulted in me hiding in my lab at home

Which man no time with family and as such relatively low mental health

The only reason it really works is because for the first 6 years or so my job they put me back in a corner and nobody really sat around me... So it kept the interruptions to a minimum

And then of course there was COVID and everybody got sent home which was great from a mental health perspective... But it was terrible because there was nobody to keep me on task

But then even when we were there they didn't really know how to properly do it... They would send out emails and expect replies, they would send out private messages and expect replies... Each one of these distracted me from the task at hand which was extremely distressing... Each time I would get a message or an email I would try to not even pay attention to it because I knew that it would throw me completely off...

And eventually it just became too much... I guess it was really too much the whole time

Now that I run my own business I can take off time and I need to, just finish up the jobs I have and take some time off...

Of course this means I make a lot less money, but my mental health is supremely better

Now even with my wife's business, we only make about 40,000 a year... Of course a lot of my time has been spent on building our new house little by little,

But even that has been slow going really slow going because every little thing takes me off task, and my routine is absolutely required to be followed

I wake up in the morning, sit down for a few minutes while I'm making my coffee and my breakfast, usually three eggs, fried, Sunny side up, two pieces of toast, and maybe a couple pieces of sausage

Then I will eat Wake the kids up Wait for them to go to school go sit outside and then enjoy the sunrise while sipping on some black coffee with some strong pipe tobacco

Only then can I actually get started

And if the kids start their day with fighting that usually takes me another hour or two to get back on track... And then we run into problems where I might injure myself and then I don't want to stop working.. which makes the recovery much more painful and longer

But I have to keep my routine

Anyway there's a lot more to it but long story short I don't feel I can function in regular society anymore

Everything that is a demand on my time just seems like too much It's the point where I don't even allow my phone to ring or vibrate or send any notifications because if I do that will take me off task and cause a lot of anxiety and stress

And don't get me wrong I have periods of great productivity... But they are usually followed by great periods of retreat

I just worry that even though I know I can't go back to a job that there is no way that the government would approve me for disability

 

[Rotommowtom]

Hmm, as an autistic I can confirm that diapers are amazing for sensory related things. Some people like it for the feel on their bottom, some people like myself also like the sensation of wetting the diaper and the diaper when it is wet/soaked. Pulse you know the overall fell and texture of the diaper. So yeah I recently thought that too if the autistic sensory thing is why many autistics tend to get potty trained late, not me tho, I was toilet trained at 2. But hey that didn’t stop me from liking diapers!

 

[UnderTheRadar]

Hmm, as an autistic I can confirm that diapers are amazing for sensory related things. Some people like it for the feel on their bottom, some people like myself also like the sensation of wetting the diaper and the diaper when it is wet/soaked. Pulse you know the overall fell and texture of the diaper. So yeah I recently thought that too if the autistic sensory thing is why many autistics tend to get potty trained late, not me tho, I was toilet trained at 2. But hey that didn’t stop me from liking diapers!

My two was probably trained really early on... The pediatrician specifically told my mom that it was a bad idea because it would cause problems after having surgery

Had to have a surgery for a birth defect.. surgery went extremely well and corrected the issue... But as the pediatrician had predicted, after the surgery I would be temporarily incontinent... So that meant going back into diapers until preschool started...

And then never really being completely potty trained afterward... It's hard to say whether it is a mental/emotional thing or a physical thing... Maybe even a little bit of both

And at the end of the day the pediatrician warned that it would be problematic and cause potty training issues if she were to potty train early... In short he predicted regression

 

[gmate1713]

I remember answering a poll on that subject a few months ago. IIRC around 15% of respondents reported as neurodivergent. Roughly 1% of the population is autistic (slightly more than that according to modern data) with 3% of children worldwide being diagnosed as such.
Make of that what you will.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I am not autistic, but it is genetically common in my family and extended family.

As it is with mine, I find out: one cousin, two second-cousins, one nephew and two grandkids.

Diaper wearing is just as common within those members. I was not aware of just how common until I became 24/7, U-IC as a result of a car crash! In the early days after the crash, they where all very helpful in my getting my head around being U-IC, which helped greatly in my accepting myself and getting out.

​

I was not aware that schizophrenia was linked with autism, but also diapers. Learning something everyday!

They're finding that out more and more. Autism was lumped anonymously into many things: dyslexia, schizophrenia, anxiety, you name it. Only now are they starting to "get it".

I managed to get a hold of some old Army paperwork, whereas one Army 'psychologist' dubbed me as having "immature and schizoid tendencies". Guess that first one explains my love for diapers and the baby life!

I imagine there's only more to discover in this new frontier of autism: pathology, history, miscategorization. I just wish they'd stop yammering that autism is becoming more and more prevalent...it hasn't. Only the qualification & quantification criteria have changed.

 

[caitianx]

At my age of 66 as an Elderly Autistic I am utterly dis-interested in potty/toilet training and I only get the sensory signal to go potty "during" wettings and messings.
Zero warning.
It all just fills my diapers.

 

[FatalGeometry]

I'm autistic and a DL. I second the sensory stuff, I do really like the feeling. I often have issues with trousers and underwear not feeling great but I love the feeling of diapers and even pullups. They also make me feel safe and as someone with a long history of paranoia and delusions that is an amazing thing that they give me. I only ever wear at home, mainly just in my own room, or on short walks but the safety feeling is great even just at home, as my paranoia can often make me feel unsafe at home and the soft, crinkly diaper hugging me tight helps to ease that a lot.

I also do think that being autistic definitely had something to do with me becoming ABDL, mainly because had I been NT, I think my societal inhibitions would have run deeper and prevented me from engaging in this at all. Heck even my rebellious, somewhat androgynous autistic self is fully capable of making me feel terrible about this so if I was NT I would almost certainly not be in this community, if I'd even tried it at all.

 

[caitianx]

I'm curious how that works... I mean you obviously held down a job of sorts for a while

My wife and I have seriously been considering that I should go on disability.. But I worry that because I was able to hold down a job for about 8 years that they may not understand that the only reason I was able to hold down the job was because they were overly accommodating until they were no longer willing to be overly accommodating

Then they had to let me go

My wife thinks it would make sense... I still have my own business but I really struggle to keep productive as I do commonly have to take time to recenter and sometimes that can be months at a time

Fact there was one time that it was even a couple years

I just worry that if they realize I held down job for 8 years that they'll think well why can't you do it now... Honestly I don't know why they kept me for 8 years It was really strange

It's been 8 hours at the job and it would take me at least a few hours to really be functioning properly in the job and then if anybody interrupted my work it would take another hour or two for me to get back on task

And then it would consume my evening as it would take several hours for me to switch gears back into home life

Usually this resulted in me hiding in my lab at home

Which man no time with family and as such relatively low mental health

The only reason it really works is because for the first 6 years or so my job they put me back in a corner and nobody really sat around me... So it kept the interruptions to a minimum

And then of course there was COVID and everybody got sent home which was great from a mental health perspective... But it was terrible because there was nobody to keep me on task

But then even when we were there they didn't really know how to properly do it... They would send out emails and expect replies, they would send out private messages and expect replies... Each one of these distracted me from the task at hand which was extremely distressing... Each time I would get a message or an email I would try to not even pay attention to it because I knew that it would throw me completely off...

And eventually it just became too much... I guess it was really too much the whole time

Now that I run my own business I can take off time and I need to, just finish up the jobs I have and take some time off...

Of course this means I make a lot less money, but my mental health is supremely better

Now even with my wife's business, we only make about 40,000 a year... Of course a lot of my time has been spent on building our new house little by little,

But even that has been slow going really slow going because every little thing takes me off task, and my routine is absolutely required to be followed

I wake up in the morning, sit down for a few minutes while I'm making my coffee and my breakfast, usually three eggs, fried, Sunny side up, two pieces of toast, and maybe a couple pieces of sausage

Then I will eat Wake the kids up Wait for them to go to school go sit outside and then enjoy the sunrise while sipping on some black coffee with some strong pipe tobacco

Only then can I actually get started

And if the kids start their day with fighting that usually takes me another hour or two to get back on track... And then we run into problems where I might injure myself and then I don't want to stop working.. which makes the recovery much more painful and longer

But I have to keep my routine

Anyway there's a lot more to it but long story short I don't feel I can function in regular society anymore

Everything that is a demand on my time just seems like too much It's the point where I don't even allow my phone to ring or vibrate or send any notifications because if I do that will take me off task and cause a lot of anxiety and stress

And don't get me wrong I have periods of great productivity... But they are usually followed by great periods of retreat

I just worry that even though I know I can't go back to a job that there is no way that the government would approve me for disability

I had 15 years worth of on and off employment in the electronics industry from 1978 to 2001
New Hampshire Voc. Rehab. for the disabled did not know what to do with me.
All they did was going through the motions of assisting me.
I went KAFLUEY! permanently in 2005 with respect to masking and trying to "act normal".
My elderly Autistic Mom was totally out of her mind with Dementia.
From like 1963 to 2008 when she finally died, her own Autistic behavior had been driving me nuts. then in the early 1980's when she got "spayed", all Hell broke loose with her until her death on Palm Sunday in 2008.
She died in her wheelchair, filled to overflowing with hate a few minutes after a couple of Derrry Salvation Army Ladies had visited her before it was bedtime.
No time ever being with her real Dad who himself was Autistic and institutionalized.
Never knowing her "real" paternal Aunts and Uncles during her life.
I never knew their names, my real genetic Great-Aunts and Uncle until a couple years ago.
Despite being Autistic myself, from Kindergarten onwards, I was never allowed to be my real Autistic self.
I had to be "Super-Perfect TCW", not "Autistic TCW".
But, my being Autistic came out every single weekday at school from Kindergarten right through Grade 12 in High School, "away from home".

 

[JonahAteAWhale]

I am not autistic, but it is genetically common in my family and extended family.

Diaper wearing is just as common within those members. I was not aware of just how common until I became 24/7, U-IC as a result of a car crash! In the early days after the crash, they where all very helpful in my getting my head around being U-IC, which helped greatly in my accepting myself and getting out.

I was not aware that schizophrenia was linked with autism, but also diapers. Learning something everyday!

Yes autistic people, particularly if undiagnosed, are prone to schizophrenia. In my service there are very many undiagnosed autistic people I work with and some diagnosed who have schizophrenia, however this tends to be males (who form 75% of all schizophrenics as a population.) Females tend to be more prone to other learning difficulties in conjunction with schizophrenia, but this is just my clinical experience, I do not know what the research on this shows if it has even been done, beyond that it has always closely linked autism and schizophrenia (Bleuler, a famous psychiatrist who studied schizophrenia in the early twentieth century, believed autism was a precursor form of schizophrenia, he observed such a close link.)

 

[JonahAteAWhale]

I'm autistic and a DL. I second the sensory stuff, I do really like the feeling. I often have issues with trousers and underwear not feeling great but I love the feeling of diapers and even pullups. They also make me feel safe and as someone with a long history of paranoia and delusions that is an amazing thing that they give me. I only ever wear at home, mainly just in my own room, or on short walks but the safety feeling is great even just at home, as my paranoia can often make me feel unsafe at home and the soft, crinkly diaper hugging me tight helps to ease that a lot.

I also do think that being autistic definitely had something to do with me becoming ABDL, mainly because had I been NT, I think my societal inhibitions would have run deeper and prevented me from engaging in this at all. Heck even my rebellious, somewhat androgynous autistic self is fully capable of making me feel terrible about this so if I was NT I would almost certainly not be in this community, if I'd even tried it at all.

Yes, for me wearing nappies prevents all anxiety and fear and worry. I am relaxed and happy, but can still become irritable, but it does not last and quickly I calm. I had always linked it psychodynamically to my wetting issues in childhood and the feeling of safety from not wetting myself, but I am beginning to wonder if this is only part of the story?

 

[caitianx]

Being Autistic, I admit to feeling safer in diapers than in regular cotton underpants.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

([Dr. Paul Eugen] Bleuler, a famous psychiatrist who studied schizophrenia in the early twentieth century, believed autism was a precursor form of schizophrenia, he observed such a close link.)

True that. Bleuler was also the father of schizophrenia study and coined both the terms "schizophrenia & "autism"...as well as "ambivalence" ('Dr.' Freud had some sort of grudge against Bleuler for his ability to coin terms at-whim). He was the precursor to 'Dr.' Hans Asperger; they may have had some overlap link-up, but were not contemporaries. And unlike Asperger, Bleuler merely touched upon eugenics but not as far as personal/political agenda or practice...unlike Asperger, who actively and rabidly enough participated in the deaths of two of his young patients.

I'm still trying to find out the chief link-ups & differences between schizophrenia and autism.

...this tends to be males (who form 75% of all schizophrenics as a population).

This correlates with autism as well, with c. 75% of all with autism being male.

 

[JonahAteAWhale]

I'm curious how that works... I mean you obviously held down a job of sorts for a while

My wife and I have seriously been considering that I should go on disability.. But I worry that because I was able to hold down a job for about 8 years that they may not understand that the only reason I was able to hold down the job was because they were overly accommodating until they were no longer willing to be overly accommodating

Then they had to let me go

My wife thinks it would make sense... I still have my own business but I really struggle to keep productive as I do commonly have to take time to recenter and sometimes that can be months at a time

Fact there was one time that it was even a couple years

I just worry that if they realize I held down job for 8 years that they'll think well why can't you do it now... Honestly I don't know why they kept me for 8 years It was really strange

It's been 8 hours at the job and it would take me at least a few hours to really be functioning properly in the job and then if anybody interrupted my work it would take another hour or two for me to get back on task

And then it would consume my evening as it would take several hours for me to switch gears back into home life

Usually this resulted in me hiding in my lab at home

Which man no time with family and as such relatively low mental health

The only reason it really works is because for the first 6 years or so my job they put me back in a corner and nobody really sat around me... So it kept the interruptions to a minimum

And then of course there was COVID and everybody got sent home which was great from a mental health perspective... But it was terrible because there was nobody to keep me on task

But then even when we were there they didn't really know how to properly do it... They would send out emails and expect replies, they would send out private messages and expect replies... Each one of these distracted me from the task at hand which was extremely distressing... Each time I would get a message or an email I would try to not even pay attention to it because I knew that it would throw me completely off...

And eventually it just became too much... I guess it was really too much the whole time

Now that I run my own business I can take off time and I need to, just finish up the jobs I have and take some time off...

Of course this means I make a lot less money, but my mental health is supremely better

Now even with my wife's business, we only make about 40,000 a year... Of course a lot of my time has been spent on building our new house little by little,

But even that has been slow going really slow going because every little thing takes me off task, and my routine is absolutely required to be followed

I wake up in the morning, sit down for a few minutes while I'm making my coffee and my breakfast, usually three eggs, fried, Sunny side up, two pieces of toast, and maybe a couple pieces of sausage

Then I will eat Wake the kids up Wait for them to go to school go sit outside and then enjoy the sunrise while sipping on some black coffee with some strong pipe tobacco

Only then can I actually get started

And if the kids start their day with fighting that usually takes me another hour or two to get back on track... And then we run into problems where I might injure myself and then I don't want to stop working.. which makes the recovery much more painful and longer

But I have to keep my routine

Anyway there's a lot more to it but long story short I don't feel I can function in regular society anymore

Everything that is a demand on my time just seems like too much It's the point where I don't even allow my phone to ring or vibrate or send any notifications because if I do that will take me off task and cause a lot of anxiety and stress

And don't get me wrong I have periods of great productivity... But they are usually followed by great periods of retreat

I just worry that even though I know I can't go back to a job that there is no way that the government would approve me for disability

Hello, may I offer some advice? I have a mental disability and am in receipt of benefits whilst also working 2 days a week stabley for 3 years. In my country you are paid an amount of benefits with regard to the cost to potential earnings of your disability and also the additional expenses of your disability, therefore can be in receipt of benefits and working, and prior work history does not exclude you from benefits. However they do conduct very stressful and frightening review interviews to see whether they still want to pay you, at certain intervals. You have to be very explicit about how your disability can affect you at its worst, if it fluctuates, and get an advocate to speak for you at interviews. Edit: I am in the UK. It is probably similar where you are. Benefits provide the day-to-day stress relief people with mental conditions require to remain reasonably stable and functioning, except for those interviews.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Hello, may I offer some advice? I have a mental disability and am in receipt of benefits whilst also working 2 days a week stabley for 3 years. In my country you are paid an amount of benefits with regard to the cost to potential earnings of your disability and also the additional expenses of your disability, therefore can be in receipt of benefits and working, and prior work history does not exclude you from benefits. However they do conduct very stressful and frightening review interviews to see whether they still want to pay you, at certain intervals. You have to be very explicit about how your disability can affect you at its worst, if it fluctuates, and get an advocate to speak for you at interviews.

United States' Social Security does indeed have such a program. One can apply for Disability under that premise, too: a doctor's documentation is required; if a doc won't cooperate, a disability lawyer will force the doc to. Disability lawyers work on-contingency (i.e. only get paid if you're awarded) and get the job done when others won't cooperate. I have friends on SSI and SSDI who get benefits and are allowed to work X amount of hours per week.

 

[JonahAteAWhale]

United States' Social Security does indeed have such a program. One can apply for Disability under that premise, too: a doctor's documentation is required; if a doc won't cooperate, a disability lawyer will force the doc to. Disability lawyers work on-contingency (i.e. only get paid if you're awarded) and get the job done when others won't cooperate. I have friends on SSI and SSDI who get benefits and are allowed to work X amount of hours per wee

I think he should claim disability then and get the money he needs to live a normal life and also then he can find a job that suits him and work part-time hours that suit him and his family. Maybe he could 3D print cool stuff and sell it online, even? Who knows!

 

[FatalGeometry]

Yes autistic people, particularly if undiagnosed, are prone to schizophrenia. In my service there are very many undiagnosed autistic people I work with and some diagnosed who have schizophrenia, however this tends to be males (who form 75% of all schizophrenics as a population.) Females tend to be more prone to other learning difficulties in conjunction with schizophrenia, but this is just my clinical experience, I do not know what the research on this shows if it has even been done, beyond that it has always closely linked autism and schizophrenia (Bleuler, a famous psychiatrist who studied schizophrenia in the early twentieth century, believed autism was a precursor form of schizophrenia, he observed such a close link.)

That precursor theory makes some amount of sense, as I believe that part of the origins of Autism as a diagnosis are from it coming out of Schizophrenia as an additional, lesser diagnosis. Could be very wrong though. I'm a chemist, not a psychiatrist.

 

[LittleRobbie]

I'm 48yrs old and was just diagnosed with autism last year along with social anxiety, adhd, dylesica and ptsd.
wearing diapers for me is definitely for reassurance and comfort. Have always had wet pant accidents all my life, and I know it I didn't wear diapers they would continue for the rest of my life. Have always had to have someone look after me (why I so happy I have a daddy now) cause I have no idea of danger. Would run into traffic and stuff like that if I wasn't watched closly. Have never really grown up and I'm now just a child stuck in an adults body. Tbh, this is ideal for me, but it does make hard work for my daddy and others careing for me.

 

[JonahAteAWhale]

I'm 48yrs old and was just diagnosed with autism last year along with social anxiety, adhd, dylesica and ptsd.
wearing diapers for me is definitely for reassurance and comfort. Have always had wet pant accidents all my life, and I know it I didn't wear diapers they would continue for the rest of my life. Have always had to have someone look after me (why I so happy I have a daddy now) cause I have no idea of danger. Would run into traffic and stuff like that if I wasn't watched closly. Have never really grown up and I'm now just a child stuck in an adults body. Tbh, this is ideal for me, but it does make hard work for my daddy and others careing for me.

Thank you for telling your story. I know what you feel like. Diapers are hugely reassuring to me, and I understand the need to be taken care of. I'm glad you have found a life you can enjoy and be safe and happy.

 

[Sidewinder]

Being Autistic, I admit to feeling safer in diapers than in regular cotton underpants.

That goes the same for me, too.

 

[Sidewinder]

I'm autistic and I'm pretty sure it contributes to my love of diapers.

I'm pretty sure of that, too.

Another thing that I think contributes as well, is the fear of change.

For the longest time in my life, I've always perceived change as a negative thing, regardless of the countless times that many people in my life have told me that "change is good," or that "change is not a crisis, but an opportunity."

And a small part of that might be (and this is just pure speculation on my part) that after being potty trained and started wearing underwear, I wanted to start wearing diapers again, maybe because I didn't want to fully abandon something that was familiar to me for the first 2-3 years of my life.

I find that when you're very young, you're not as mindful as you are when you're much older.

And where this ties in with potty training, (at least for me) is not thinking about how it will affect you in the days/weeks/months/years to come.

Now I don't remember too much about when I was very young, but from what my mother told me once, I initially was very eager to be potty trained and when I finally was, I eventually ended up wanting to wear diapers again.

Looking back, I speculate that's where my fear of change probably originated.