Anyone Else NEED to be Treated Like a Baby?

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....I kinda like the idea of being treated like a baby; getting tucked into a crib at night and mommy or daddy reading me a bedtime story before dimming the lights down and a good night kiss on my forehead. Or bath times; that was another fond memory of childhood; daddy washing my hair in a bubble bath and toweling me off....I'd be kinda embarrassed to be seen naked by my parents....but really, it's nothing they haven't seen before. Plus I've been naked in front of total strangers before when I was in jail and have been naked in locker rooms when I was kidnapped by the mad scientists. Considering that, I'd probably feel more comfortable around my parents than I was in any of those situations.

Anyhoo....Dad said that if I was really sure that I wanted to be treated like a baby that "You can't enjoy the best of both worlds." Made me really consider the ramifications. I like superhero movies and comics, but they're all rated PG-13; I'd probably have to get rid of those. I have a lot of ninja weapons too; occasionally I've hurt myself on them and my room looks like it's kinda been put through a wood chipper from all the nunchakus and throwing knives and stars and times I've accidentally gotten my samurai sword stuck into the ceiling. Babies can only play with baby toys though; no more training or playing with lethal weapons.

I could definitely see the Baby Treatment getting kinda old after a while.....but you know what sucks the worst? That I genuinely need to be treated like a baby, and I hate myself for it.

I've only been treated like three things in my entire life: A baby, a lab rat/science project, and a soldier/weapon. I have NEVER had to discipline myself; some other authority figure has always had discipline me themselves, and I'm scared and clueless now that I've escaped the laboratory and no longer of anyone to hold my hand or my feet to the fire. I was never able to learn how to be an adult. I've never been to highschool, I've never been with a girl, I've never had anything a normal kid should get to experience; no proms or homecoming, no friends or playdates. My life was stolen from me by those monsters thousands of miles away and I'm just about as helpless as a baby now when it comes to taking care of myself.

I can't sleep right, I can't take care of my hygiene right, I can't fix my own food right without getting frustrated and making a mess, I can't even finish what I start or get all my chores done on time. I can't even talk right; I have a speech impediment because growing up there was more important stuff my family had to worry about besides teaching me how to talk right; my Rs sound like Os and Ls.

I have no self discipline, a lot of mental health issues, and detriorating health because I never learned how to be an adult and take care of myself. I also have a drug and alcohol problem that I've been trying to kick for a few years to no avail which just wastes me away even more. I'm a piping hot mess right now.....(no pun intended).

My life has been chaos, violence, and madness. And I can't hardly take it anymore; been breaking down and crying a lot more, which is weird; I hardly ever cry, in fact I used to have problems being able to cry. It's kinda nice but just makes me feel like a baby at the same time and I'm just so sick of hating myself.....I'm still a little hesitant to take my parents up on their offer though, because I know they'd probably do it for all the same reasons I've just listed. Because I need to be treated like a baby for my own good and to save me from going crazy and letting all my hate and anger eat me alive.

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If I agreed to let them do it though....I'm pretty sure it could solve just about all my problems. It's like......an Intervention to get get me clean and sober and healthy and to force me to accept myself and stop hating myself and be comfortable in my own skin. I need to be treated like a baby for my own good.
 
JohnnyHamilton said:
*snip*

I need to be treated like a baby for my own good.

Well, then you've clearly justified this to yourself.

Sounds like you need a renaissance in the worst way, bud. Are you working at all? Taking care of a full-grown man is a chore in and of itself, not to mention keeping him in expensive AB diapers, maintaining his diet and meeting his emotional needs -- whether you know it or not, you have emotional needs and expectations attached to this lifestyle -- and I think you know that this is not only NOT the intervention you need, but, that you need some help getting the rest of your life together before you can even begin to address your needs and feelings as an ABDL in healthy way.

I can assure you, the BEST ABDL life one can live is the one where they are satisfying their whole self, as an adult, and as a baby.

Are you working? Are you discharged from the military? (Your claims to be a "weapon" weren't clear, and frankly, disturbing, to say the least.) Even if you answer No to both of those, I highly suggest you start a mental health regime with substance abuse treatment counselors and therapists that will help you get your life on a path to success.

Even if your parents did agree to such a treatment plan, it would be just that -- a plan. With an end. It would not be forever, and certainly shouldn't be. Take a look at some websites/forums/help groups for parents and caregivers of disabled adults. Read their stories and try to understand what their lives are like, and how arduous and physically and emotionally draining their day-to-day is when they have to care for a 30-year-old toddler's every need, and one that cannot communicate those needs as you are clearly able to do with a keyboard.

You're not dumb, I can tell. I can hear it in your writing. You do, however, have some issues. Address your anger before it consumes you. I can say with 1000% certainty that you will not feel any better in a mental or correctional institution.

Personally, I've been where you are, and, what worked for me was getting out and socializing, experiencing a little success, and building on that.

Life is all about persistence, trying again. How do you think your parents got you this far?

Go. Make your own way. Fight for it. Even if it's not what you thought it would be/want it to be, at some point, you'll realize that it's worth it.
 
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I hope you take Trisy's advise. I think you have a lot of issues going, many of which have me confused. I'm assuming the mad scientists who had control over you are in your imagination, or are they representative of something real? Why were you not in school? Were you home schooled? There are so many questions here. You definitely need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist.

I agree that if living the life of a baby for a while would clean you out from drugs, go for it. I spent four years of college, binge drinking and doing a lot of drugs, most of it pot and hash. By my senior year, I had a psychotic break, so I too have been there, and it's no picnic. I wish you well and hope that's there's a more positive solution than just being babied. Many of us would like that, but we tend to balance our adult lives with our "little" lives, myself included. It's fun to do adult things like drive a hot car, do sports, games, etc. In my case, I love playing piano and the big composers like Chopin, Bach, Schumann, etc. There's a time and place for all things. I hope you can find some balance in your life.
 
Hi Johnny.

Sorry to hear you been unwell.

Be Little is OK.
IF you are Just starting it may tale a bit of getting used to have someone take care of you. And sometime little boys have to do as thay Are told. Thing like bed time.

But Not liking yourself isn't ok. Th at sucks and it made me very sad.

Hope you feel better soon.

Sisi
 
It's a really long story. My whole family is kinda weird....we're all superhuman pretty much. I flaunted my abilities too much when I was twelve years old though and I was kidnapped by what I now know as an Escort Unit/Teen Transport Services; check out www.residentialtreatmentcenterabuse.com This is a good page to read for an idea of what was going on: http://www.residentialtreatmentcenterabuse.com/standford-prison-experiments-and-rtcs.php I don't want to go into all the gory details, but no, it's not an imaginary story, and is for the most part separate from my age-identity issues.....it's a really long story; maybe some time I'll type up the whole thing in the stories section but it's not fiction; I can back up everything I say.

I know I have adult responsibilities too; right now I'm a firefighter. Been at it since I was seventeen; I escaped Utah when I was sixteen, tried highschool for like five days and couldn't stand the bullcrap from everyone....nobody ever stopped talking about the little boy who disappeared all those years ago. I'm this town's personal ghost story; small town's kinda suck like that. I did a google search and it turns out a nickname for my town/village is "The Worst Place on Earth" lol. It also happens to be in the middle of the Alaskan Triangle, which is kinda like the Bermuda Triangle but worse. We got flying saucers, freak weather, bigfoots, sea monsters, ghosts, vampires and....demi-gods....one which happens to be an experimental supersoldier designed by Provo Canyon School; the same place mentioned here: http://www.heal-online.org/brainwashing.pdf

Life's weird. Crazy stuff happens here in the arctic.

But yeah; I've been questioning my own mortality with the whole firefighting thing. Thinking I'd like to become self employed and blend writing, painting, and music and other arts and crafts type of businesses. My parents know all about me and accept me; the problem is that I can't accept myself. They've both expressed interest in "babying" me (I'm more of a toddler though), but I've just been to scared/self-conscious/embarassed to take them up on their offer. That kinda drives me nuts lol; I just can't get out of my own way to work up the guts to just let them do it. I'd never want or expect them to take care of me financially though; and they know I'd never ask for them to spend money on me (plus if I do work up the courage to take them up on the offer I'd be buying cloth diapers; less expensive in the long run and eco-friendly too.).....I kinda think Mom personally has been wanting to do this for a while; I have some vague memories of her talking about it when I was younger, it's fuzzy though; may have just been a dream I had. I've had a lot of head injuries so my memory isn't too good.
 
Thanks, I appreciate the feedback/advice....I don't necessarily agree with all of it though.

@Trisy: I don't remember much of my childhood; just bits and pieces that feel like they belong to someone else or like they may have just been a dream or something. The mad scientists aren't in my imagination, just google "The WWASPS/World Wide Association of "Specialty" Programs and Schools". Go to ResidentialTreatmentCenterAbuse DotCom and click on "Teen Transport Services" and rad the "Stanford Prison Experiments and RTCs" page. Take a look at a disgustingly long list of dead kids while you're at it.

My parents didn't raise me....in a lot of ways my parents don't even know me. I was raised thousands of miles away from home in a godforsaken desert of Utah where I and 150 other little boys who were regularly beaten, raped, shanked, drugged, tortured, experimented on and in some cases flat out murdered, year after year after year. I was taken when I was barely twelve years old; my parents didn't have a choice....there were a lot of factors at play. When I was around sixteen I became strong enough to bust out of the facility and had been sending telepathic messages to my mother whom received them and my parents hatched a rescue plan. Dad's former military; he was training with the SEALs. My whole family has been through a lot of weird stuff. My mom's psychic, my brother's psychic, my sister is psychic and I'm psychic; dad's not psychic, but he's a genuine badass who could probably survive the apocolypse butt ass naked with just a hatchet, and he's seen a lot of weird things other than me controlling fire with my thoughts; he's seen UFOs plenty of times and had a run-in with Big Foot on one of his assignments once.

That's a huge reason why I feel so self-conscious about my Age Identity Disorder/Age Dysphoria. I live in a family of friggin' superheroes and demi-gods; I feel like a failure.

But I have no illusions about what to expect. I don't want nor expect for them to actually "take care of me" like I'm friggin' disabled. It's part of my destiny to help save the world someday; dad's been training me for it ever since I became of fighting-age (eight years old)....That's probably another big reason I have some Age Dysphoria; I never really had a daddy. I had a drill sergeant who trained me how to win wars and destroy people, and a part of me is scared to tell him that I don't want to kill anyone. That I understand war is coming, but that I want to find another way of handling it....which leads to another reason why I want to be further regressed back to toddler/little kid age; I need to cleanse my mind of impurities and reignite my childlike wonder and belief in "magic and miracles" in order to split open my mind and unleash my full potential/come into my own power in the purest form; so that I can just knock people out with my auric field without killing them; entire groups and armies even. It's my destiny to usher in a new era of warfare evolution and nonviolence.

That's what a select cell of the WWASPS agenda was as well, but all backwards and twisted. They wanted me to become an instrument of destruction; a doomsday device. My will was strong enough to overcome their brainwashing though, (Just look up HEAL's "Layman's Guide to Brainwashing and Mind Control") The very facility they mention in that artcle, Provo Canyon School, is the one I was at. I have the papers to prove it too, but just don't feel like plastering it on a public forum. Maybe a private message, but I kinda have trust issues. I don't expect many people to believe me anyway so I'm not too afraid to be honest (lmao; that's messed up. XD).
 
Hi Johnny.

Thank you for your honesty. You been through some hard times. I chose to be little becouse I don't understand stand the world.and still don't and trying to fit in made me ill and sad.

Although my Perents didn't understand me they did won't the best for me. And wouldn't me happy. I hope your perents won't the same for you. You may find that being a kid again is like you said a way you can get your self clean.

I don't won't to come across as relous but forgiving my self and others help me fell free letting them go so I not carying them was such a relief. I realy hope you are able to find who you realy are and not what people tell you who you should be. It toke me a while to find who I was. And accepting that I am still little and will probably be little all my life. I'm actually ok with this is other people that have issues with a grown man sucking a pacifier.

I will be thing of you and hope thing start to get better what ever you decide.
 
Thanks. :) I'm pretty sure things will get better when I make a decision....probably gonna end up letting them baby me but hoping they don't take it too awfully far. Sorry to hear about your parents; I think it's pretty tough either way but especially with parents who don't understand or even want to. My folks were a little confused at first until I explained it to them, then they accepted and understood it and began entertaining the idea all on their own lol. But then again, my family is already kinda weird so they're a lot more open than some folks.

I can notice some of my brain patterns already starting to change; haven't had violent thoughts as much, and haven't felt much a desire to start throwing my knives and scimitars around my bedroom lol. My aim is already pretty good anyways; I don't really NEED more training....that's mostly my dad's programming; he taught me to never be satisfied with myself; that I can always be better/stronger/faster and to never stop trying to master my mind and body. He wants me to be more of a weapon too, but I want to be more of a shield. This family has enough swords; even my sister is a human weapon. I want to be the bright light of hope and optimism in our house/small mansion (big family; me, my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother, my brother in law, my two nieces, my nephew, a couple dogs, a few cats and a really loud parrot whom the cats won't stop staring at lol. XD Kinda like a circus sideshow in this little patch of forest in the middle of nowhere miles and miles away from civilization. No doctors or hospitals, no cops, no therapists, lol, not much of anything except a bunch of rednecks and guns here. We're the real wild-west haha. XD
 
Awesome! And thanks for the friendly welcome. :)

I've never seen UFOs up close or anything like that, just one major time really comes to mind; it was last year. My brother in law, my sister, my niece (my other niece hadn't been born yet), and my nephew were all outside and my brother in law was the first to point it out; something way up in the night sky moving at a somewhat unusual rate of speed; took my eyes a little bit to adjust before I saw it. I remember suspecting that my brother in law might be on meth or something because I had trouble seeing it and I have 20/10 vision according to the eye doctor; what most people can only see at ten feet away, I'm able to see at twenty feet away; dad says I can become eligible for an air-force pilot with my eyes haha. But the Unidentified Flying Object was too far to make out, it just looked like a star. I instantly stated to my brother in law, "That's a satelite bro." He's all like "No, no, keep watching!" So I did. It seemed to be moving in a straight line; I was still convinced it was just a satelite on it's usual trajectory. Then another one seemed to fade into view behind it; Zack asked, "You see that?"; I had to strain to reply "Yeah I see it" because it was directly over my house and see all our heads had to be careened straight up at an uncormfortable angle; felt like all we could see even in our periphereal vision was space lol.

So I admitted it was a little weird; I've never seen two satellites following each other before. The one pursuing then started speeding up.

".....Whoa." I said.
"Right?!" Zack replied. I admitted it was definitely kinda weird, but then flat out said "Holy shit..." when the one being chased made a course correction in a giant arc; the one following it made a sharp right angle, all I could do was repeat myself "Holy shit..."

"RIGHT!?!" Zack exclaimed. My sis was a little busy with my niece who wasn't interested; it was cold out too. Clear skies though. Sis caught the tail end of the show which was the weirdest/best part. None of us could said anything during it, not even "Holy shit." XD

A really bright "star" seemed to pop up over our property; way way way up in the sky; if anyone had just then been arriving they'd think it was just another star. It was brighter than the specs that we just finished watching who were in some kind of high speed chase in space.

The really bright star then started shooting out a bunch of smaller specs which all started flying off in different directions; we lost the other two UFOs in the crowd of the other UFOs; we couldn't even count them there were so many. We couldn't hold our heads that far back anymore after that, we were about to faint from cutting off the blood circulation. We were all just sorta stunned silent for a while. All I could do was say. "Whoa."

I haven't seen Bigfoot unfortunately; I'd like to though. Dad says he's seen it and I have no reason to disbelieve him; I've seen weirder things.

And supposedly I saw a ghost once, but I didn't even know it. I was speeding by an old friend's trailer house down a dirt road on the fourwheeler; back when we were in school he lived with his grandma but after I was taken all my old relationships sorta fell away during the years of my absence; lot of folks thought I was dead and there were a lot of different rumors; one story even said I had found true love and was living in the Bahamas lol. XD It was his grandmother that I saw momentarily as I was speeding by at sixty miles an hour with the wind whipping my hair back. She turned around and looked at me, she looked sad, I smiled sweetly and gave a quick wave. I remember seeing her blue dress with white flowers on it clear as day; she looked as real as me or you. It wasn't until I got home and told mom it was cool seeing Eric's gran again; mom then informed me that she had passed away only a year after I was taken; I was gone for over three years. I was kinda shocked and confused then mom explained to me that what I saw was probably her ghost; before then I wasn't really sure if I even believed in ghosts or not, but apparently mom did, she then told me that she saw dead people when she was a little girl too and that I shouldn't feel scared about it. And I wasn't; I didn't feel threatened or anything. She looked totally normal and and physical; I asked mom if that was normal and she assured me it was; that we can't tell ghosts apart from real/physical people. To this day that's still kinda the weirdest thing for me ability-wise. I still have some issues wrapping my head around it; I can never be sure now if the people I interact with are dead or alive now lol. XD

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....I don't even know what I'd do if one day I found out my whole family was dead and I've just been interacting with their ghosts....or if I'm dead and I just don't know it/would I even know it? It really trips me out and yeah, sometimes it kinda disturbs me/makes me feel a little quesy/butterflies in my stomach.

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Ah; nevermind; I know I'm not dead haha; my Avatar was taken very recently and I haven't been out of the house since then hahaha. XD

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Pretty sure I wouldn't show up on a webcam if I was a ghost. XD

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And sure; the UFOs could have just been highly advanced experimental military aircraft....I just kinda really doubt it; I've never seen anything like that.

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I kinda feel like Odd Thomas at times; or maybe a mutant from the Maximum Ride series lol. One of the biggest reasons I want to retire or at least take a long break from firefighting and become a writer; I could just wright about my family and switch the names up and it would be a best seller lol. XD Wouldn't even need to make anything up. Glad this town is kinda famous for "weird and unexplained" though. We're like the Smallville/Haven/Eureka/Wayward Pines of the real world; Delta Jct/Junction/Delta.

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delta_Junction,_Alaska
 
My Mom apparently once saw a UFO. She explained it like as if everything just went silent. There where no cars on the road where you would normally see them, and that is when the UFO came out from behind the forest and starting making a loud noise over head. So she began running and such.
She also has claimed she had many experiences with angels and such.

I myself had 1 UFO sighting when I was a kid ... it was actually a new years blimp though. I personally don't believe in any of that non sense anymore. Are there aliens out there ... probably. Have they visited earth. Extremely unlikely, there isn't a good reason that exists for why they would come here.
 
HOLY CRAP! I just finished reading the wiki page on Delta; one of the only two notable people; Ben Grossman, actually lived in my family's house haha. Small world. Well; small town anyway. XD

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Whoops, hadn't refrshed the page. XD Coolness; I'm surpringly a bit of a skeptci, but a healthy skeptic; I know there's things out there that are definitely weird but I get kinda hesitant to believe in stuff that starts to sound too religious. But, I try to keep an open mind. :) I'm a man of science though; I hate mysteries, they must be solved. :)
 
JohnnyHamilton said:
HOLY CRAP! I just finished reading the wiki page on Delta; one of the only two notable people; Ben Grossman, actually lived in my family's house haha. Small world. Well; small town anyway. XD

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Whoops, hadn't refrshed the page. XD Coolness; I'm surpringly a bit of a skeptci, but a healthy skeptic; I know there's things out there that are definitely weird but I get kinda hesitant to believe in stuff that starts to sound too religious. But, I try to keep an open mind. :) I'm a man of science though; I hate mysteries, they must be solved. :)

I am a very big skeptic. It's funny too, because in the past I used to believe in a lot of conspiracy theories and crap. I was also an avid follow on the whole John Titor story.
 
Coolness; haven't heard of that. I'm kinda sorta into some conspiracy theories, not much though, just one or two that I accidentally stumbled upon.

I do think though that there's probable evidence for alien visitations on Earth; there's a lot of carvings and cave drawing of what look like space men, complete with helmets and spaceships from thousands of years ago. My mom is practically obsessed with the Ancient Aliens tv series and even I have to admit that I'm a firm believer now in the Ancient Astronaut theory; even a lot of mainstream scientists agree that human life showed up on Earth too quickly for it to just be natural evolution.

And looking at our DNA is even creepier. It's a precise pattern with letters assigned to the different parts; like GGG TT AA CCC TT etc etc and it's thought that inside our DNA is twelve times the amount of information vailable in the encyclopedia brittanica, and in one of the two conspiracy theories I stumbled on I remember reading about twelve alien races who have been involved with the goings on on planet earth since before the dawn of our existence. I think "gods/angels/devils" are all just aliens. That's really the only way I can think of the Bible in a way that can make sense. I don't believe in magick or the supernatural; everything can be explained by science; even super powers. :)
 
I think you could really benefit from this exercise. This is my opinion, so you can take it or leave it.
You have a lot of emotional trauma that needs healing. Going back through childhood could bring some of that healing. Don't expect it to be quick. Plan on working at it for several years. You have troubles and damage at many ages. The idea is to remember, face up to it, and get through it. In Christian terms, it is forgiveness. In other terms, it is get over it. Either way, when you do, you will feel much better about yourself.

If, as you say, you have your parents to help you through it, it will be much easier. It sounds like they understand how hard life is for you. That is good. Not many do. You should probably have a sit down and work out the rules. Then during the experience, an occasional meeting to discuss how it is going. One thing to clear up is Dad's drill sargeant attitude. He needs to be softer in this case. Are you currently living with them?

And no paranormal activity. You need to be child, not weapon.

I have a book called "Boy's Doodle Book". It is great for going back in time and exercising imagination. I also use coloring books and Highlights Hidden Pictures books. Such stuff should be added to your available stuff to use.

Yes, being treated as a child could sure get old pretty quick, but don't take the easy way out and jump out if it from being bored. It's a long process that can only be done by keeping at it. I am going through a similar time now, but without a proper caretaker. My wife says she will not "feed into it". I still have a long way to go, and I have been at it quite some time.

In your case, you could use your work as what happened in you imagination. "What did you do at preschool today, Johnny?" "We played fire truck with ladders and hoses and ..."

You mentioned the opinion that God and ghosts and demons are just aliens. My opinion is the opposite, that aliens and ghosts are demons, and God cares and wants you to be healed and feel better about yourself. I want that for you too.
 
BlueGrey said:
I think you could really benefit from this exercise. This is my opinion, so you can take it or leave it.
You have a lot of emotional trauma that needs healing. Going back through childhood could bring some of that healing. Don't expect it to be quick. Plan on working at it for several years. You have troubles and damage at many ages. The idea is to remember, face up to it, and get through it. In Christian terms, it is forgiveness. In other terms, it is get over it. Either way, when you do, you will feel much better about yourself.

If, as you say, you have your parents to help you through it, it will be much easier. It sounds like they understand how hard life is for you. That is good. Not many do. You should probably have a sit down and work out the rules. Then during the experience, an occasional meeting to discuss how it is going. One thing to clear up is Dad's drill sargeant attitude. He needs to be softer in this case. Are you currently living with them?

And no paranormal activity. You need to be child, not weapon.

I have a book called "Boy's Doodle Book". It is great for going back in time and exercising imagination. I also use coloring books and Highlights Hidden Pictures books. Such stuff should be added to your available stuff to use.

Yes, being treated as a child could sure get old pretty quick, but don't take the easy way out and jump out if it from being bored. It's a long process that can only be done by keeping at it. I am going through a similar time now, but without a proper caretaker. My wife says she will not "feed into it". I still have a long way to go, and I have been at it quite some time.

In your case, you could use your work as what happened in you imagination. "What did you do at preschool today, Johnny?" "We played fire truck with ladders and hoses and ..."

You mentioned the opinion that God and ghosts and demons are just aliens. My opinion is the opposite, that aliens and ghosts are demons, and God cares and wants you to be healed and feel better about yourself. I want that for you too.

Hi Johnny.

I agree with Blue Gray.

Would like Father God is on your case I just did not wount to come over to religious from the start. Self forgiveness and liking your self is in my experience the only way to be happy with yourself.

I tell you all about the two kindoms on you birthday.

Hope all this help you in whatever decision you come to.

Your freand

Sisi.
 
Darn it....I chickened out. I tried bringing it up, but couldn't do it. I got a journal though so I'm just going to write it all out like a letter to my parents.
 
Thanks, but I still don't believe in God; I feel God's probably a metaphor for the Force of Nature. Or an alien scientist. I'd like to believe in God, but I read too much. Knowledge is the death of faith; I can't believe something just because I'm told to; I have to see and feel and understand and all that before I'm sure of it. Though I don't feel I'm full blown atheist either; I guess I'm an Eclectic Agnostic. I believe there's "something", but I don't think we in human form have the capacity to actually comprehend it without putting into terms we can understand, ie an allegorical story or proverb, ie the Bible. :)
 
That's what I was thinking too; but I'm not sure. They seem genuinely supportive.

I'm not claiming to have ever been a soldier/weapon. That was just how I was a treated. By my dad seeing as he practically grew up in the military. By the people who kidnapped me away to Utah. By the DOF and private contractors. Pretty much every period of my life, I've just been treated like an asset or a dollar amount; never like an actual person, just a piece of property. My parents understand that; they know everything about me too; we don't keep secrets from each other because....lmao; I'm not even going to say why we don't keep secrets in this house because it's not "believable" enough. But yeah; we're very open with one another; nothing happens in my head without me telling them about it pretty much.
 
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