- Messages
- 33
- Role
- Adult Baby
- Diaper Lover
So far, I am loving this site. I love how understanding and compassionate everyone is. I am struggling immensely right now with acceptance. Sometimes I don't have an appetite and sometimes I have panic attacks because I am so worried, scared, and ashamed.
Right now, I'm not really looking for advice. I just need some validation, acceptance, and hugs from you kind folks because this stuff is really hard to come out with and I'm scared!
So here it is:
- I love wetting and messing diapers. It is very soothing, and it turns me on sexually. It's also a sexual turn on to see women doing the same thing. (nothing new to anyone on this site)
- I also love sitting in my mess and squishing it down, as well as seeing women doing the same thing. (sorry for the mental picture, I just needed to be able to tell someone about it, and I figured this is the place to do it.)
- I am very curious about cross dressing. I have only tried it a few times when I was a teenager. When I was in the laundry room, I found some of my sister's bras and panties and tried them on. (god, that is so embarrassing, please don't hate me!) It felt soooo incredible. Sometimes when I was home by myself, I went to her room and wore her bras and panties for a while. I felt so much guilt and shame that I was doing it with hers, but I really had no other way of trying them. I lined the front of the panties with lots of toilet paper and masturbated in them. I had a tremendous amount of shame, but I just couldn't help myself. The urge was way too powerful. I at least had the decency to put them in the washer and dryer after so they were clean.
I also have a bondage fetish that is very powerful in my sexual makeup. It is a huge turn on to see women bound and gagged. Not being abused, but when she is enjoying it.
The fact that I have multiple fetishes just magnifies the shame. I just feel that much more vulnerable to people finding out. Especially when it comes to relationships. I realize this is probably not true, but I have this irrational fear that no women out there will accept THAT many fetishes.
I have only had sex once in my life, and I feel a lot of shame about that. I feel self conscious when people talk about times they have been with girls, because I feel like they would judge me and think it was pathetic that I am almost a virgin. It's strange because I am a good looking guy and have had women attracted to me, but I think my insecurity and anxiety has prevented me from having a close relationship with a girl.
I need reassurance that I am just a regular guy with regular hobbies. Just like anyone else, I like going out to dinner with friends, going to shows, museums, playing the guitar, ect.
Intellectually, I know that these things are normal, harmless, and even healthy to indulge in if you have them. I know they are nothing to be ashamed of, but I need the help of you kind souls to help dissolve this nasty shame and embarrassment, and start accepting and embracing myself once and for all!
Right now, I'm not really looking for advice. I just need some validation, acceptance, and hugs from you kind folks because this stuff is really hard to come out with and I'm scared!
So here it is:
- I love wetting and messing diapers. It is very soothing, and it turns me on sexually. It's also a sexual turn on to see women doing the same thing. (nothing new to anyone on this site)
- I also love sitting in my mess and squishing it down, as well as seeing women doing the same thing. (sorry for the mental picture, I just needed to be able to tell someone about it, and I figured this is the place to do it.)
- I am very curious about cross dressing. I have only tried it a few times when I was a teenager. When I was in the laundry room, I found some of my sister's bras and panties and tried them on. (god, that is so embarrassing, please don't hate me!) It felt soooo incredible. Sometimes when I was home by myself, I went to her room and wore her bras and panties for a while. I felt so much guilt and shame that I was doing it with hers, but I really had no other way of trying them. I lined the front of the panties with lots of toilet paper and masturbated in them. I had a tremendous amount of shame, but I just couldn't help myself. The urge was way too powerful. I at least had the decency to put them in the washer and dryer after so they were clean.
I also have a bondage fetish that is very powerful in my sexual makeup. It is a huge turn on to see women bound and gagged. Not being abused, but when she is enjoying it.
The fact that I have multiple fetishes just magnifies the shame. I just feel that much more vulnerable to people finding out. Especially when it comes to relationships. I realize this is probably not true, but I have this irrational fear that no women out there will accept THAT many fetishes.
I have only had sex once in my life, and I feel a lot of shame about that. I feel self conscious when people talk about times they have been with girls, because I feel like they would judge me and think it was pathetic that I am almost a virgin. It's strange because I am a good looking guy and have had women attracted to me, but I think my insecurity and anxiety has prevented me from having a close relationship with a girl.
I need reassurance that I am just a regular guy with regular hobbies. Just like anyone else, I like going out to dinner with friends, going to shows, museums, playing the guitar, ect.
Intellectually, I know that these things are normal, harmless, and even healthy to indulge in if you have them. I know they are nothing to be ashamed of, but I need the help of you kind souls to help dissolve this nasty shame and embarrassment, and start accepting and embracing myself once and for all!