Forgive me for the long post, but it's my story and I need to share it.
So, this past Friday evening I told my wife the biggest secret I've ever kept. Never told anyone before, not even anyone online, or forum, etc. I never thought I would tell anyone, ever. But, I did.
I was nervous. But, I had a reason to tell her... Here is my story.
I've been married to my wife for 2 years now. We have a almost 8 months old son. We have been together for 4 years now. We are a happy couple, with a "average" sex life and we have had our ups and our downs, until a few months ago, I always trusted my wife, that changed in April. I found out she had been texting a guy for a year and a half. She changed his name in her phone, so I wouldn't think anything of it. She called him "Courtney" and she would text him several, several times a day. His real name was Teddy and Teddy lived about 600 miles north of us, they exchanged numbers a year and a half ago, after talking so long on a phone app (Dice with Buddies) and they "just became good friends." He knew she was a married woman, but he as well "saw her as just a friend.."
However, I looked through her phone one day in April and found pictures of him (dressed) and that this "Courtney" was really a guy, she had been lying to me about and how they would message each other literally sometimes a hundred times a day. He would sometimes ask sexual questions, ie: Have you ever tried anal? How many guys have you been with.. etc. She answered them. She also vented to him when we would argue and some of the text messages I read, were the worst things I ever read in my life. One time she wrote to him... "The biggest regret I have is marrying my husband." Those words still haunt me to this day.
My world came crashing down when I told her I knew who "Courtney" was and I wanted to know everything. We talked and cried for hours. She blocked him, and deleted him off every type of social media they were associated with. I was devastated, on the the verge at times to just call it quits. However, she talked me through everything and allowed me 100% use of her phone and anything I wanted. Passwords to Facebook, email, any social media, etc with access to check anything I want. She told me there were no more secrets and she would be 100% honest from then on out about everything and no more lies, or secrets. As hard as it was, I had no choice, but to believe her.
Long story short... I have had many hard days and hard times, but I have spoken with her and she has been there to answer anything I have asked. My trust for her was gone completely and would take awhile to get back... and it started to. Every now an then, I would dig deeper into past Facebook messages, posts, or emails from years ago, even before we were married. Well, on Wednesday, May 30th, my world came to a shatter. I found about a dozen emails from my wife in the sent trash folder dating from 2007-2012 emailing another girl about sex, going down on her, how much she loved her etc. It made me so sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe it. I thought, this can't be her, I would have never imagined she was a lesbian. So I printed all the emails and saved them to my hard-drive. After she got home from work, I told her I wanted to know her biggest secret. She couldn't tell me. She didn't have any idea I already knew. So I told her I knew about "Audra" and she told me she was so embarrassed and ashamed and thought I would have never married her if she told me before we got married, or if she told me after I found out about the text messages form Teddy, she thought for sure I would divorce her.
I got a hotel that night. I was disgusted. I didn't want to see her. I needed to think straight. I couldn't believe she lied to me. She confessed, she was a closet lesbian with her best friend for almost 6 years. She lost her virginity to her and they did everything lesbians do, just in the closet. They lived with one another after graduation and it was a big family secret. Only her siblings, parents and grandparents knew. It wasn't on any social media, talked about with any friends and not PDA. She told me she wanted to tell me so many times before, but knew inside she couldn't. She didn't have the courage too, and she thought I wouldn't accept it and would leave her.
I told her, the LYING about not sharing this secret with me, hurt more than the fact that she was a lesbian (or bi-sexual) and it's something I should have known about BEFORE we got married. She told me she was ashamed and embarrassed that she was with her girlfriend for so long and she didn't want that lifestyle. She told me she realized she wanted kids, was also attracted to guys and wanted a family, something Audra couldn't give her. She also never wanted to be "out" and had feelings for guys too. She wanted to live a straight lifestyle, so she tried to cover up any skeletons she had in her closet and hide as much as she could, never thinking I would ever find out. She deleted pictures, posts, messages, emails, etc anything even close to something about her and Audra.
We are not going to counseling and talking about things more and more. On Friday, two days after I found out about her biggest secret and HUGE lie... I told her I had something to confess to her as well. It was nothing like how big and bad her secret was, or the fact she lied and hid it from me for 4 years about being a bi-sexual... but I told her. She laughed, in acceptance, like "That's it?" That is your secret!?
It started when I was young. Very young. 5? I would steal my little cousin's diapers and try and wear them. It made me feel comfortable, secure. I hid them in my closet and would wear one now and then and made me feel so good. When I was a teenager, I thought about buying some at the store, but because I lived in such a small town, I never did because I was sure someone I knew would be there. So one day, when I was like 17 or 18, I went to a store and used a bathroom and there were some opened depends in the bathroom stall. I was so excited. I took one and tried it on. I instantly got an erection and I went back the very next day and took like 4-5 more from the bathroom stall. I wore them, masturbated in them and sometimes peed. It just felt comfortable. I've ordered a few packs online since then and hid them from her. Sometimes throwing my stash away because I was afraid I would get caught. I haven't worn a diaper in probably a year, well before my son was born. I've always been turned on by pictures of girls in diapers and wanted to have a sexual experience with a girl wearing a diaper. I told her, I was attracted to the fetish of wearing a diaper, and being with a girl, who would wear a diaper too at times, especially in the bedroom. Nothing more than the feeling I get of wearing one and the feeling I get if she tried one on. So I told her. She told me she could "never do that" but later that night, I believe I convinced to try, because it would please me. She told me I could order some diapers online and when they came in, she would try, for me. So I have some on order. I am really anxious to try one on her. I don't know if she will like it. But she told me, I could buy some and at least not have to hide them from her... and if I did, and she found them, at least she wouldn't be concerned and ask questions. I felt better getting it off my chest, even though it wasn't a huge secret to me that I was trying to keep in from never telling her-- I just never told anyone at all. I know I am not alone here and how big the ABDL community is. I told her to look it up sometime and that I am not the only one with this fetish (as hard as it sometimes can believe, even when you are the one with the fetish) because I know it sounds strange... I like to wear diapers as a grown man for sexual pleasure and comfort.
She accepts my "baggage" I am working on accepting hers and being 100% open and honest with one another. Hopefully it will make our relationship even stronger than it ever has been and because of all this, allowed me to tell her and maybe have some experiences with her that I always fantasized about. Who knows.. maybe she will enjoy it. I know a lot of girls like the way it feels for them too, but you have to just get past "it's a diaper."
Thank you for letting me share my story.
So, this past Friday evening I told my wife the biggest secret I've ever kept. Never told anyone before, not even anyone online, or forum, etc. I never thought I would tell anyone, ever. But, I did.
I was nervous. But, I had a reason to tell her... Here is my story.
I've been married to my wife for 2 years now. We have a almost 8 months old son. We have been together for 4 years now. We are a happy couple, with a "average" sex life and we have had our ups and our downs, until a few months ago, I always trusted my wife, that changed in April. I found out she had been texting a guy for a year and a half. She changed his name in her phone, so I wouldn't think anything of it. She called him "Courtney" and she would text him several, several times a day. His real name was Teddy and Teddy lived about 600 miles north of us, they exchanged numbers a year and a half ago, after talking so long on a phone app (Dice with Buddies) and they "just became good friends." He knew she was a married woman, but he as well "saw her as just a friend.."
However, I looked through her phone one day in April and found pictures of him (dressed) and that this "Courtney" was really a guy, she had been lying to me about and how they would message each other literally sometimes a hundred times a day. He would sometimes ask sexual questions, ie: Have you ever tried anal? How many guys have you been with.. etc. She answered them. She also vented to him when we would argue and some of the text messages I read, were the worst things I ever read in my life. One time she wrote to him... "The biggest regret I have is marrying my husband." Those words still haunt me to this day.
My world came crashing down when I told her I knew who "Courtney" was and I wanted to know everything. We talked and cried for hours. She blocked him, and deleted him off every type of social media they were associated with. I was devastated, on the the verge at times to just call it quits. However, she talked me through everything and allowed me 100% use of her phone and anything I wanted. Passwords to Facebook, email, any social media, etc with access to check anything I want. She told me there were no more secrets and she would be 100% honest from then on out about everything and no more lies, or secrets. As hard as it was, I had no choice, but to believe her.
Long story short... I have had many hard days and hard times, but I have spoken with her and she has been there to answer anything I have asked. My trust for her was gone completely and would take awhile to get back... and it started to. Every now an then, I would dig deeper into past Facebook messages, posts, or emails from years ago, even before we were married. Well, on Wednesday, May 30th, my world came to a shatter. I found about a dozen emails from my wife in the sent trash folder dating from 2007-2012 emailing another girl about sex, going down on her, how much she loved her etc. It made me so sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe it. I thought, this can't be her, I would have never imagined she was a lesbian. So I printed all the emails and saved them to my hard-drive. After she got home from work, I told her I wanted to know her biggest secret. She couldn't tell me. She didn't have any idea I already knew. So I told her I knew about "Audra" and she told me she was so embarrassed and ashamed and thought I would have never married her if she told me before we got married, or if she told me after I found out about the text messages form Teddy, she thought for sure I would divorce her.
I got a hotel that night. I was disgusted. I didn't want to see her. I needed to think straight. I couldn't believe she lied to me. She confessed, she was a closet lesbian with her best friend for almost 6 years. She lost her virginity to her and they did everything lesbians do, just in the closet. They lived with one another after graduation and it was a big family secret. Only her siblings, parents and grandparents knew. It wasn't on any social media, talked about with any friends and not PDA. She told me she wanted to tell me so many times before, but knew inside she couldn't. She didn't have the courage too, and she thought I wouldn't accept it and would leave her.
I told her, the LYING about not sharing this secret with me, hurt more than the fact that she was a lesbian (or bi-sexual) and it's something I should have known about BEFORE we got married. She told me she was ashamed and embarrassed that she was with her girlfriend for so long and she didn't want that lifestyle. She told me she realized she wanted kids, was also attracted to guys and wanted a family, something Audra couldn't give her. She also never wanted to be "out" and had feelings for guys too. She wanted to live a straight lifestyle, so she tried to cover up any skeletons she had in her closet and hide as much as she could, never thinking I would ever find out. She deleted pictures, posts, messages, emails, etc anything even close to something about her and Audra.
We are not going to counseling and talking about things more and more. On Friday, two days after I found out about her biggest secret and HUGE lie... I told her I had something to confess to her as well. It was nothing like how big and bad her secret was, or the fact she lied and hid it from me for 4 years about being a bi-sexual... but I told her. She laughed, in acceptance, like "That's it?" That is your secret!?
It started when I was young. Very young. 5? I would steal my little cousin's diapers and try and wear them. It made me feel comfortable, secure. I hid them in my closet and would wear one now and then and made me feel so good. When I was a teenager, I thought about buying some at the store, but because I lived in such a small town, I never did because I was sure someone I knew would be there. So one day, when I was like 17 or 18, I went to a store and used a bathroom and there were some opened depends in the bathroom stall. I was so excited. I took one and tried it on. I instantly got an erection and I went back the very next day and took like 4-5 more from the bathroom stall. I wore them, masturbated in them and sometimes peed. It just felt comfortable. I've ordered a few packs online since then and hid them from her. Sometimes throwing my stash away because I was afraid I would get caught. I haven't worn a diaper in probably a year, well before my son was born. I've always been turned on by pictures of girls in diapers and wanted to have a sexual experience with a girl wearing a diaper. I told her, I was attracted to the fetish of wearing a diaper, and being with a girl, who would wear a diaper too at times, especially in the bedroom. Nothing more than the feeling I get of wearing one and the feeling I get if she tried one on. So I told her. She told me she could "never do that" but later that night, I believe I convinced to try, because it would please me. She told me I could order some diapers online and when they came in, she would try, for me. So I have some on order. I am really anxious to try one on her. I don't know if she will like it. But she told me, I could buy some and at least not have to hide them from her... and if I did, and she found them, at least she wouldn't be concerned and ask questions. I felt better getting it off my chest, even though it wasn't a huge secret to me that I was trying to keep in from never telling her-- I just never told anyone at all. I know I am not alone here and how big the ABDL community is. I told her to look it up sometime and that I am not the only one with this fetish (as hard as it sometimes can believe, even when you are the one with the fetish) because I know it sounds strange... I like to wear diapers as a grown man for sexual pleasure and comfort.
She accepts my "baggage" I am working on accepting hers and being 100% open and honest with one another. Hopefully it will make our relationship even stronger than it ever has been and because of all this, allowed me to tell her and maybe have some experiences with her that I always fantasized about. Who knows.. maybe she will enjoy it. I know a lot of girls like the way it feels for them too, but you have to just get past "it's a diaper."
Thank you for letting me share my story.