Is it wrong of me to feel the way I do about having to wear diapers?

[AngelKitten]

Hi. I have legitimately been incontinent, at least partially if not fully, since 2014, due to diabetic neuropathy and high blood sugars, which has affected my bladder and the nerves of my bladder. In addition, I don't completely empty my bladder - I take FLOMAX as a prescription medication to help with that issue. My question is though, I don't feel like having to wear diapers every day to manage my incontinence is a bad thing at all. In fact, I look forward to putting on my diapers every day, and I really like the look and feel of wearing diapers.

I wouldn't want or wish to be incontinent for a million years if I wasn't already. Incontinence can really suck some days - all the cleaning, grooming, preparation, and diaper maintenance every day can often be very tedious and difficult to keep up with. Fortunately, I have a wonderful PCA (personal care attendant) that helps me tons with these day-to-day needs.

Does anyone else who is incontinent also feel this way about having to wear diapers? I think, at least for me, my feelings are my coping mechanism to feel more positive about all the trauma, abuse, and body shame I suffered as a child. I still remember being potty trained as a toddler, and I remember it was quite embarrassing and shaming for me way back when it happened (I was born in 1968, so that was around the early 1970's).

I was just wondering if it's a bad thing to feel so positive/good about having to wear diapers to manage incontinence. I believe that if you have to wear, at least you can wear with some degree of confidence/pride, without feeling ashamed about it. The public can be very cruel, and i think it's nice to know that at least I can go out in public wearing a diaper, and I won't feel so stressed and worried about being "found out." I had a very rare anxiety/panic attack very soon after my incontinence diagnosis around December 2014 abut wearing a diaper in public - it was one of my first times doing so. Since then, however, I have learned to cope very well, and I know securely that no one knows unless I tell them explicitly.

So, what are your thoughts about this? I'd really like to know. Thank you! Be safe...

 

[Abdlchriscrinkle]

I think the world needs more people like you, that are incontinent and embrace their protection instead of allowing the stigmatizing and pretending it's not there.

When I would buy diapers from medical stores, they always would try to sway me to pullup underwear style briefs no matter what my absorption needs were. When I insisted on wanting tape on diapers, they'd always raise an eyebrow and ask why I wanted ''all that bulk''. Simply put, I want a functional product that prevents the need to launder bedding.

 

[AngelKitten]

Thank you for the kind words. When my doctor first prescribed, it was for pull-ups, which simply don't work for me. I think the public and the medical community both need people to educate them as to what our needs truly are. There is a too-often negative perception of adult diapers in public. Yet, at least for me, they are the only things that work to manage my heavy full voids that I experience daily.

 

[Jim100]

We started our lives in diapers and everyone who lives long enough or is injured or has a physical problem or is inclined to want diapers will be in diapers. So why bother being potty trained…. Just kidding on this last statement.

I wear diapers and I don’t care who knows about it. I usually wear cloth diapers with PUL diaper covers in juvenile prints and onesies with socks from Rearz. Every one that has seen my socks tells me they like them. So have fun wearing diapers don’t be discouraged don’t feel like you are the only one in the wor wearing diapers.

I like the saying changing the world..one diaper at a time. From AngelKitten. It is funny and good.

 

[DLScottsman]

I have said this many times on this forum. There are days where I love my diapers and want them really thick. There are days where I am wearing just because I need to. Then there are the bad days where I am upset that I have to and I feel bad about myself and the fact that I have days where I like them. That is normal with having to be dependant on something. My doctor had no issue with me saying I wanted a prescription for diapers due to my OAB. I had tried pills, pelvic floor exercises, and caffeine reduction before that. I would not wish OAB on anyone.

 

[mikedp7815]

Thank you for the kind words. When my doctor first prescribed, it was for pull-ups, which simply don't work for me. I think the public and the medical community both need people to educate them as to what our needs truly are. There is a too-often negative perception of adult diapers in public. Yet, at least for me, they are the only things that work to manage my heavy full voids that I experience daily.

I hear you . Everyone pushes pull ups. In Europe. Adult tape on diapers is widely accepted

 

[Wetshisbed]

Hi. I have legitimately been incontinent, at least partially if not fully, since 2014, due to diabetic neuropathy and high blood sugars, which has affected my bladder and the nerves of my bladder. In addition, I don't completely empty my bladder - I take FLOMAX as a prescription medication to help with that issue. My question is though, I don't feel like having to wear diapers every day to manage my incontinence is a bad thing at all. In fact, I look forward to putting on my diapers every day, and I really like the look and feel of wearing diapers.

I wouldn't want or wish to be incontinent for a million years if I wasn't already. Incontinence can really suck some days - all the cleaning, grooming, preparation, and diaper maintenance every day can often be very tedious and difficult to keep up with. Fortunately, I have a wonderful PCA (personal care attendant) that helps me tons with these day-to-day needs.

Does anyone else who is incontinent also feel this way about having to wear diapers? I think, at least for me, my feelings are my coping mechanism to feel more positive about all the trauma, abuse, and body shame I suffered as a child. I still remember being potty trained as a toddler, and I remember it was quite embarrassing and shaming for me way back when it happened (I was born in 1968, so that was around the early 1970's).

I was just wondering if it's a bad thing to feel so positive/good about having to wear diapers to manage incontinence. I believe that if you have to wear, at least you can wear with some degree of confidence/pride, without feeling ashamed about it. The public can be very cruel, and i think it's nice to know that at least I can go out in public wearing a diaper, and I won't feel so stressed and worried about being "found out." I had a very rare anxiety/panic attack very soon after my incontinence diagnosis around December 2014 abut wearing a diaper in public - it was one of my first times doing so. Since then, however, I have learned to cope very well, and I know securely that no one knows unless I tell them explicitly.

So, what are your thoughts about this? I'd really like to know. Thank you! Be safe...

I don't think it is wrong at all. What ever works is the way forward. I like being in nappies and it is my way of coping with my incontinence and nightly bedwetting. I do not worry about what others think

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I gotta say this: you're absolutely fine. It's incredibly refreshing to read about someone who's so okay with it and even likes it, despite the extra workload and the anxiety of others' reactions. I love your perspective!

I am an American, and God help me, I gotta say this: Americans are so, so fearful, neurotic and hair-trigger aggressive! On the whole, we are terrified of diapers (among other things), especially if we are faced with having to wear them ourselves, let alone discovering the adult next to us is wearing...exponentially so if we're even remotely near an Adult Baby.

I've told a few times of my forays to Canada for fun times at Diaper Camp. You'd be utterly stunned how Canadian vanillas react! They're quite accommodating...it's no big deal to them, sounds fun, even cute to the ladies...they wouldn't do it themselves but do enjoy it yourself! I remember being in line at the Hinton, Alberta Tim Hortons after Diaper Camp let out, dressed in shortalls, a stripey shirt, hi-tops an' slouchy socks...I was def in Toddler Mode, getting giggly, adoring looks from women in line...and that ultra-cute countergirl named Becky, too... I don't know if any of them wondered if I was wearing a diaper under it all...but I was. Double-thick, damp Attends. One woman even quick-glanced at my diaper area, gave me a sweet, knowing smile and went her way.

My point: do that here in America and 99.9% of the time, you'll get Frank Burns and "Hot Lips" Houlihan in your face. I kid you not. America...

 

[EcoIncon]

Hi. I have legitimately been incontinent, at least partially if not fully, since 2014, due to diabetic neuropathy and high blood sugars, which has affected my bladder and the nerves of my bladder. In addition, I don't completely empty my bladder - I take FLOMAX as a prescription medication to help with that issue. My question is though, I don't feel like having to wear diapers every day to manage my incontinence is a bad thing at all. In fact, I look forward to putting on my diapers every day, and I really like the look and feel of wearing diapers.

I wouldn't want or wish to be incontinent for a million years if I wasn't already. Incontinence can really suck some days - all the cleaning, grooming, preparation, and diaper maintenance every day can often be very tedious and difficult to keep up with. Fortunately, I have a wonderful PCA (personal care attendant) that helps me tons with these day-to-day needs.

Does anyone else who is incontinent also feel this way about having to wear diapers? I think, at least for me, my feelings are my coping mechanism to feel more positive about all the trauma, abuse, and body shame I suffered as a child. I still remember being potty trained as a toddler, and I remember it was quite embarrassing and shaming for me way back when it happened (I was born in 1968, so that was around the early 1970's).

I was just wondering if it's a bad thing to feel so positive/good about having to wear diapers to manage incontinence. I believe that if you have to wear, at least you can wear with some degree of confidence/pride, without feeling ashamed about it. The public can be very cruel, and i think it's nice to know that at least I can go out in public wearing a diaper, and I won't feel so stressed and worried about being "found out." I had a very rare anxiety/panic attack very soon after my incontinence diagnosis around December 2014 abut wearing a diaper in public - it was one of my first times doing so. Since then, however, I have learned to cope very well, and I know securely that no one knows unless I tell them explicitly.

So, what are your thoughts about this? I'd really like to know. Thank you! Be safe...

I am jealous of your attitude about this. I hate the wetness, the shopping, the occasional humiliation, the grooming, the changing, the smell and did I mention the wetness? I despise the itching, the occasional diaper that leaks, the impact to my budget, the piles of laundry, the hassle of throwing them away, the pain of packing for a vacation...

I am so fortunate to have access to diapers because life would be intolerable without them. However, that's the only thing I like about them. I guess if you're happy wearing them, you're far better off. I don't understand it or so many others that love it... but I certainly don't think less of you for it.

 

[Diaperman95]

Hi. I have legitimately been incontinent, at least partially if not fully, since 2014, due to diabetic neuropathy and high blood sugars, which has affected my bladder and the nerves of my bladder. In addition, I don't completely empty my bladder - I take FLOMAX as a prescription medication to help with that issue. My question is though, I don't feel like having to wear diapers every day to manage my incontinence is a bad thing at all. In fact, I look forward to putting on my diapers every day, and I really like the look and feel of wearing diapers.

I wouldn't want or wish to be incontinent for a million years if I wasn't already. Incontinence can really suck some days - all the cleaning, grooming, preparation, and diaper maintenance every day can often be very tedious and difficult to keep up with. Fortunately, I have a wonderful PCA (personal care attendant) that helps me tons with these day-to-day needs.

Does anyone else who is incontinent also feel this way about having to wear diapers? I think, at least for me, my feelings are my coping mechanism to feel more positive about all the trauma, abuse, and body shame I suffered as a child. I still remember being potty trained as a toddler, and I remember it was quite embarrassing and shaming for me way back when it happened (I was born in 1968, so that was around the early 1970's).

I was just wondering if it's a bad thing to feel so positive/good about having to wear diapers to manage incontinence. I believe that if you have to wear, at least you can wear with some degree of confidence/pride, without feeling ashamed about it. The public can be very cruel, and i think it's nice to know that at least I can go out in public wearing a diaper, and I won't feel so stressed and worried about being "found out." I had a very rare anxiety/panic attack very soon after my incontinence diagnosis around December 2014 abut wearing a diaper in public - it was one of my first times doing so. Since then, however, I have learned to cope very well, and I know securely that no one knows unless I tell them explicitly.

So, what are your thoughts about this? I'd really like to know. Thank you! Be safe...

Best thing to do is worry about you Unless you like to wear a speedo on the outside with no pants then very few people will even notice. The ones that I think might have noticed never say a word. Most people have some kind of respect in them. Though many moons ago ack n the late 90s early 2000s I bought some diapers from a walgreens. the checker a 18 yr old at best said cool are you like a Ab /Dl or something . I said what because I honest to god was clueless what she meant. She didn't want to explain but I made her and she was the real embarrassed when she told me what they mean. I said my bladder doesn't hold pee very well. This is my life nothing more. I said I never heard of so much nonsense. They are certainly not for fun. She and I was both red and ready to leave. I said to myself what the hell is wrong with people and never came back to that store. I almost called the store and asked for a manager but "I figure she would never ask that again. as red as she was so no since in trying to get her fired. I had to come home and look up what a abdl is. That is how I became informed on what a abdl is. But I have been wearing since the 90's pretty much every single day. In almost 30 years of use I only have 2 or 3 stories of someone saying something or being rude like that. Most the time people just don't care. I have had nurses ask me to put a gown on and see the diaper and never even ask about it because it had nothing to do with why I was at the ER. Tuesday my doctor cut a huge mole out of my butt cheek that he was worried might be cancerous so we cut it out and sent it to a lab. (SO any god fearing men or women want to say a prayer it comes back negative I would appreciate it) my doctor new I used diapers but his nurse is kinda new and didn't even ask me a thing Most people have the respect to know it could be a sensitive subject and leave it alone. High school is way different of course but thank god it does'nt last forever.

 

[AngelKitten]

Thanks everyone for the comments and kind words. I guess I really created a conversation starter here! I can still remember being a baby/toddler and having to wear cloth diapers with large "ducky" safety pins. Now as an adult, Abena L4's, or Better Dry XL's, have been my go-to diaper for my incontinence management. But, I really enjoy trying new brands - I just ordered a case of Beyond 5000's in the XL size from XP Medical (which is my go-to company and website for ordering).

I admit I am so blessed and fortunate to have a wonderful PCA that comes daily, and among other things, helps me with my diapers, Desitin, and even the shaving associated with managing my diaper-wearing. This has been a huge plus to me, and has helped me become so much more independent and unashamed about wearing diapers. I think the public perception and attitude toward diapers is changing for the better (pardon the pun?)

By the way, my Avatar is something that pieced together on a website called Doll Divine. I love cats - I have a kitty named Ebony at home with me. He's got wings, so he's an "Angel Kitten." Binky (not sure if she's still on ADISC any more), who is a very talented artist, helped me out by drawing the little diaper on him. I wanted to write a children's book about an Angel Kitten who was incontinent and learned to show other kittens that it was OK to wear diapers. Perhaps one day I will.

 

[nwm]

I take FLOMAX as a prescription medication to help with that issue.

God bless you! I HATED that stuff so much, forget asking my doctor, I told him point blank no way am I taking that stuff anymore - and that was only after about 1 week, maybe even less (been years so not sure exactly anymore) - But if it's working for you, and you have no problems with it, that's great!

As for the rest - Why would there be anything wrong with it? I personal don't even know anything different (never out of diapers at all - nerve damage since birth) on top of ic, also LOTS of other issues (including with my hands) so was never able to even take care of that myself, except if I use PullUps, but they ALWAYS leak on me so, BAD idea. But there are plenty of times I do find all that, as well as other things primarily used as assistive devices quite enjoyable.
Now it might be nice to be able to get rid of all that - at least as necessities - and I surely wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemy. HOWEVER, if stuck with it anyway - why not enjoy it when, and as much as you can? This is at least part of why I am also ab - that plus things that went on with a girl as a teen - but whole story in itself, but if interested:
https://www.adisc.org/forum/posts/1943041/
So, in short - no I see nothing at all wrong with that - in fact kind of a good thing specially if you are stuck with it anyway.

 

[Jim100]

When I was in first grade my mother would send me to school in coterie pants. I complained to my mom that they made me look like I was wearing diapers. I was potty trained and didn’t like how they looked baggy with elastic waist one would swear I was wearing a diaper under this. This was before pull-ups or disposables or the thought of anybody needed a diaper at all except babies. Now I don’t care about having to wear diapers or anyone knowing about me wearing diapers. Once one gets over the stigma of having to wear diapers one can enjoy life and have fun about the whole situation.

 

[LuvMyDiapers]

I think it's great that you (along with so many of us here) have adapted to the actual need for diapers to include a level of enjoyment in having to wear them. I think it might feel weird because many of us are potty trained during a critical formative time of our life telling us that diapers are a bad thing, and a source of humiliation if you have to wear them outside the "socially acceptable" age range & circumstances.

 

[LuvMyDiapers]

...I take FLOMAX as a prescription medication to help with that issue...

Just a heads up, I know my eye doctor did not like the idea of using Flomax. Apparently it alters the pressure in the eye, and can lead to glaucoma. If you're in a position where diapers are good enough to help you manage and you can skip this medication, consider talking to your doctor about it.

 

[nwm]

Just a heads up, I know my eye doctor did not like the idea of using Flomax. Apparently it alters the pressure in the eye, and can lead to glaucoma. If you're in a position where diapers are good enough to help you manage and you can skip this medication, consider talking to your doctor about it.

OH GREAT! I had no idea of that - and apparently the doctor that suggested I try it didn't look too close! Glaucoma is one of my many issues, and rare the way I had that - again born with it VERY rare!
Well, I guess pretty good thing I HATED that stuff so much!

 

[EcoIncon]

@AngelKitten - your post prompted me to do a survey. Kinda curious about those of us that must and who falls into the like/tolerate camp. https://www.adisc.org/forum/threads/wearing-diapers-choice-or-requirement.154565/

 

[Zeke]

It took me a while to be alright with wearing diapers. After switching to cloth for economy I decided I may as well enjoy them as I have to wear them one way or another and a poor attitude can make anything miserable. I do feel fortunate to be experiencing IC at a time when products for it are ubiquitous and attitudes towards IC are much improved. A half century ago, when I was a teenager, incontinent people were basically housebound due to the lack of products available and societal attitudes towards those that couldn’t control their bodily functions. We may as well enjoy what we wear. Even that Charmin toilet paper TV ad, with that bear family, says that “we might as well enjoy the go”.

 

[Diaperman95]

It took me a while to be alright with wearing diapers. After switching to cloth for economy I decided I may as well enjoy them as I have to wear them one way or another and a poor attitude can make anything miserable. I do feel fortunate to be experiencing IC at a time when products for it are ubiquitous and attitudes towards IC are much improved. A half century ago, when I was a teenager, incontinent people were basically housebound due to the lack of products available and societal attitudes towards those that couldn’t control their bodily functions. We may as well enjoy what we wear. Even that Charmin toilet paper TV ad, with that bear family, says that “we might as well enjoy the go”.

I lived in the 90's as a young man and had to use the products of the day. Attends was my favorite but often used depends. You have to change a lot more for sure. But as diapers got way better I got so I didn't try to fight the urge as long and now as a result I can get the urge in bed and as I stand it is coming out. Of course I am older now and my nerves are even more messed up but it I am glad I wasn't as bad then as now. But I assure there was lots of leaks. Only time I ever leak now is if I was just to lazy to change when I should of. But just the last 5 years or so I feel more free than ever with my incontinence

 

[Zeke]

I lived in the 90's as a young man and had to use the products of the day. Attends was my favorite but often used depends. You have to change a lot more for sure. But as diapers got way better I got so I didn't try to fight the urge as long and now as a result I can get the urge in bed and as I stand it is coming out. Of course I am older now and my nerves are even more messed up but it I am glad I wasn't as bad then as now. But I assure there was lots of leaks. Only time I ever leak now is if I was just to lazy to change when I should of. But just the last 5 years or so I feel more free than ever with my incontinence

It’s coming up on my 6 year anniversary of being diapered 24/7 for dual IC and I’m thankful that I wasn’t IC years ago. I’m sure that you’ve also seen, not only the IC product availability and diversity increase, but also societal acceptance of IC as well. So, I could dwell on the things that I don’t like about my condition, or I can just let myself enjoy the reason that I have to wear my beloved plastic pants, even if it’s over diapers instead of by themselves. Over the past 6 years I’ve come to like my diapers as much as I do plastic pants.