Is it wrong of me to feel the way I do about having to wear diapers?

[EcoIncon]

I lived in the 90's as a young man and had to use the products of the day. Attends was my favorite but often used depends. You have to change a lot more for sure. But as diapers got way better I got so I didn't try to fight the urge as long and now as a result I can get the urge in bed and as I stand it is coming out. Of course I am older now and my nerves are even more messed up but it I am glad I wasn't as bad then as now. But I assure there was lots of leaks. Only time I ever leak now is if I was just to lazy to change when I should of. But just the last 5 years or so I feel more free than ever with my incontinence

The late 90s was when I started needing Attends. Hated depends... plastic was so much more crinkly and they were sooooo obvious while walking through a quiet office. Attends were so much better though they were noticeable in two other ways 1) thicker and went up the waist higher and 2) when wet they had a very distinct smell (which I grew to like). Fortunately for me, I didn't need them as often either so I used less diapers back then than I do today ( a case of 80 would last 6 weeks). I got my hands on a couple for "old time's sake"/nostalgia. Diapers (even pull-ups) today are so much better but I am thankful these existed... not sure what I would've done if I had been fully incontinent in the 80s.

 

[Diaperman95]

The late 90s was when I started needing Attends. Hated depends... plastic was so much more crinkly and they were sooooo obvious while walking through a quiet office. Attends were so much better though they were noticeable in two other ways 1) thicker and went up the waist higher and 2) when wet they had a very distinct smell (which I grew to like). Fortunately for me, I didn't need them as often either so I used less diapers back then than I do today ( a case of 80 would last 6 weeks). I got my hands on a couple for "old time's sake"/nostalgia. Diapers (even pull-ups) today are so much better but I am thankful these existed... not sure what I would've done if I had been fully incontinent in the 80s.

That smell was identical to the classic pampers at the time. My kid and I was in diapers at the same time. I miss that smell. The sad thing is as much as these new diapers hold they could really use that smell added to them. If someone made a spray that smelled like that you can spray in a fresh diaper they would be rich as hell. I used the depends belted guards a lot too. Of course there was no pull ups back then. Yes 80s or older would not of been a good time. I talked to someone who got hit by hot shrapnel that went through all the bladder nerves in Vietnam and had to use cloth his whole life with zero control . But I like visiting with people and hearing their stories it makes me feel better about having to use diapers for life.

 

[Diaperman95]

It’s coming up on my 6 year anniversary of being diapered 24/7 for dual IC and I’m thankful that I wasn’t IC years ago. I’m sure that you’ve also seen, not only the IC product availability and diversity increase, but also societal acceptance of IC as well. So, I could dwell on the things that I don’t like about my condition, or I can just let myself enjoy the reason that I have to wear my beloved plastic pants, even if it’s over diapers instead of by themselves. Over the past 6 years I’ve come to like my diapers as much as I do plastic pants.

Well I could never imagine life with out a diaper so I don't try.

 

[caitianx]

I feel totally okay about being in diapers 24/7.
A lot of us Cerebral Palsy adults are in diapers 24/7.

 

[Diaperman95]

Lots of adults period are in diapers 24 7.

I feel totally okay about being in diapers 24/7.
A lot of us Cerebral Palsy adults are in diapers 24/7.

 

[Elhon]

No, I would not think so and I doubt this is true just because you are on a DL forum. Is it a coping mechanism? Yeah probably but that is only necessarily bad if you are a 16-year-old meme lord who shitposts for a living. Mine is a coping mechanism for sure, I have to time when I have a drink, interrupt my work, and take unnecessary breaks if I am going to not need diapers, I have never wanted to be out of diapers and they have just never really bothered me and once using them they bring a good deal of comfort. I was late to potty train and have always kept it to myself changing myself and whatnot so it involves me and only me.

 

[caitianx]

I admit to being mentally more stable and happy being permanently back in diapers 24/7.

 

[checkingoutall]

As you have already noted and replied to some of the post, your feelings are something that many of us do share. When my doctors tried everything and nothing worked, they were shocked at how well I had adjusted to having to wear diapers 24/7. They saw that my quality of life wasn't going down hill and that I was able to live a very normal and healthy life having to wear and use diapers. Because of that, they have stopped trying medications, stopped trying catheters, stopped trying Botox injections, and have stopped offering me surgery that would get me out of diapers, but cause me to wear a pee bag attached to my belly. Diapers to me are just another type of underwear. It's our underwear that allows us to live, to work, to sleep, and to enjoy life. So what that we have to change our underwear more often then others. Since 2007, I haven't had anyone notice I was wearing diapers while I am out and about, and if someone did notice, they never said anything to me. There was only once nurse that shocked me, and I told that doctor's office manager that I didn't appreciate how she approched me about diapers. Her words to me was, "so, why do you pee yourself" I was there for shoulder issues not my bladder issues so that caught me off guard. I told her, "I don't have any bladder control, that is why I pee myself" . So your feelings about having to wear and use diapers is normal for some of us. In fact I have become so fond of them, if my bladder was healed, I wouldn't stop wearing and using diapers. They have given me so much safe and secure feelings and allowed me to enjoy different things a whole lot better. So be proud of what underwear you choose/have to wear. It's always so much easier changing a wet diaper than wet pants.

 

[Wetshisbed]

I admit to being mentally more stable and happy being permanently back in diapers 24/7.

I am genuinely happier and more relaxed since having to wear nappies.

 

[sport1]

As you have already noted and replied to some of the post, your feelings are something that many of us do share. When my doctors tried everything and nothing worked, they were shocked at how well I had adjusted to having to wear diapers 24/7. They saw that my quality of life wasn't going down hill and that I was able to live a very normal and healthy life having to wear and use diapers. Because of that, they have stopped trying medications, stopped trying catheters, stopped trying Botox injections, and have stopped offering me surgery that would get me out of diapers, but cause me to wear a pee bag attached to my belly. Diapers to me are just another type of underwear. It's our underwear that allows us to live, to work, to sleep, and to enjoy life. So what that we have to change our underwear more often then others. Since 2007, I haven't had anyone notice I was wearing diapers while I am out and about, and if someone did notice, they never said anything to me. There was only once nurse that shocked me, and I told that doctor's office manager that I didn't appreciate how she approched me about diapers. Her words to me was, "so, why do you pee yourself" I was there for shoulder issues not my bladder issues so that caught me off guard. I told her, "I don't have any bladder control, that is why I pee myself" . So your feelings about having to wear and use diapers is normal for some of us. In fact I have become so fond of them, if my bladder was healed, I wouldn't stop wearing and using diapers. They have given me so much safe and secure feelings and allowed me to enjoy different things a whole lot better. So be proud of what underwear you choose/have to wear. It's always so much easier changing a wet diaper than wet pants.

That nurse should have been Talked to very stern.I'am diabetic and have been in diapers for along time at 1st was very upset and my wife and I discussed it and you know the final answer but it took a long time to adjust.

 

[CP1234]

It’s a totally ok and valid feeling. Wearing diapers has never been an issue for me. I never really understood people’s freak out. Still don’t. For me my IC has always been a mix of painful bladder spasms and an in general lack of feeling when I’m peeing. Like I can feel when my bladder is full but I can’t really feel when I’m going so if I don’t go to the bathroom once or twice an hour it just kinda accumulates and happens. And bladder spasms are PAINFUL, and usually happened at night so a diaper was always nessasry since it all empties at once. Diapers are great because I never had to worry. I tried pills, they never worked. Diapers were at least warm and comfortable.
The last time I went to a urologist about my IC was when I turned 18. I really wanted some kind of alternative before I went to college. He was appalled that I was in diapers and that was his focus. He suggested surgery. Some pacemaker thing I think. It would have gotten rid of the IC and the diapers but not the spasms and the pain. He was stunned when I told him the diapers aren’t the problem. I knew already that I was getting my own dorm room. So I said no thanks and walked out. Diapers are just hefty underwear, and whatever they could do isn’t going to fix weak muscles and wonky neurons. So I’ve just kinda accepted that it’s ok to let my bladder do what it does.

 

[sport1]

It’s a totally ok and valid feeling. Wearing diapers has never been an issue for me. I never really understood people’s freak out. Still don’t. For me my IC has always been a mix of painful bladder spasms and an in general lack of feeling when I’m peeing. Like I can feel when my bladder is full but I can’t really feel when I’m going so if I don’t go to the bathroom once or twice an hour it just kinda accumulates and happens. And bladder spasms are PAINFUL, and usually happened at night so a diaper was always nessasry since it all empties at once. Diapers are great because I never had to worry. I tried pills, they never worked. Diapers were at least warm and comfortable.
The last time I went to a urologist about my IC was when I turned 18. I really wanted some kind of alternative before I went to college. He was appalled that I was in diapers and that was his focus. He suggested surgery. Some pacemaker thing I think. It would have gotten rid of the IC and the diapers but not the spasms and the pain. He was stunned when I told him the diapers aren’t the problem. I knew already that I was getting my own dorm room. So I said no thanks and walked out. Diapers are just hefty underwear, and whatever they could do isn’t going to fix weak muscles and wonky neurons. So I’ve just kinda accepted that it’s ok to let my bladder do what it does.

I just went to the urologist in Aug.He said leave everything the same.I had a accident while washing the morn dishes my wife is still recovering from knee surgery just came out.

 

[Milianna]

Honestly it's a level of acceptance and it's fine to be ok with wearing 24/7.

Personally I would have wished to have felt the same wearing 24/7 for my IC issues. But alas. I don't think that my pride was very kind to me. My age didnt and doesn't make it easy. Kids are cruel

 

[Diaperman95]

As you have already noted and replied to some of the post, your feelings are something that many of us do share. When my doctors tried everything and nothing worked, they were shocked at how well I had adjusted to having to wear diapers 24/7. They saw that my quality of life wasn't going down hill and that I was able to live a very normal and healthy life having to wear and use diapers. Because of that, they have stopped trying medications, stopped trying catheters, stopped trying Botox injections, and have stopped offering me surgery that would get me out of diapers, but cause me to wear a pee bag attached to my belly. Diapers to me are just another type of underwear. It's our underwear that allows us to live, to work, to sleep, and to enjoy life. So what that we have to change our underwear more often then others. Since 2007, I haven't had anyone notice I was wearing diapers while I am out and about, and if someone did notice, they never said anything to me. There was only once nurse that shocked me, and I told that doctor's office manager that I didn't appreciate how she approched me about diapers. Her words to me was, "so, why do you pee yourself" I was there for shoulder issues not my bladder issues so that caught me off guard. I told her, "I don't have any bladder control, that is why I pee myself" . So your feelings about having to wear and use diapers is normal for some of us. In fact I have become so fond of them, if my bladder was healed, I wouldn't stop wearing and using diapers. They have given me so much safe and secure feelings and allowed me to enjoy different things a whole lot better. So be proud of what underwear you choose/have to wear. It's always so much easier changing a wet diaper than wet pants.

That nurse needs fired! I have had only couple bad experiences with nurses being rude. Both was in the last few years and I have had 5 shoulder surgeries and most likely 50 or 60 hospital stays in my life. Most the time they don't say nothing. I also had both hips repaired I had necrosis they drilled out and filled with cement. the staff at most places treat me with respect and even empathy. Now I don't even say nothing about using them unless they ask. That and after those last two times I just never ask them for help anymore most the time my wife helps me when I cant. That and only recent in the last few years I have had bowel incontinence so most of that stuff has been over a 30 year span of health issues.

the first bad experience I had one of the sweetest and cutest nurse helping me sponge bath when very sick with a NG tube and I had a very soaked Tena super for men pullup on at the time. She said "lets get you out of those period panties and get you changed". then she helped me in a new pair and said "Oh fresh period panties they have to feel good and fresh now" I didn't have a clue what to say. I might have long hair but I am a man with mustache and gotee and I mean she kinda helped me wash between my ass and balls so I just didn't understand. The pullups even say for men on the bag she pulled from. I just confused the hell out of me. Sometimes in the hospital I am so dehydrated from vomiting non stop and then the urinal is on the bed so I go with a lighter diaper. Sometimes if I am not out long during the day I do it too just to get a brake from the plastic diapers but most the time I live in a mega max.

The other time I will spare you the details but basically my wife was not with me and I was in the ER with just throwing up my guts and shit all over my self. The nurse basically got me the stuff and told me there was a bathroom right there I can use to clean up. Real hard to do while dry heaving every 2 min for the last 16 hours. I messed that bathroom up and still had shit all over back of my leg and as I later found. But a real nurse did help me after they moved me to a room. She also asked who the other one was.

But I am I lot like you it is what it is and life goes on. We can get mad and scream or we can be glad it's a time we have great products we do and live life. I am trying to do that the best I can every day.

 

[daylight]

I’m happy and appreciative there is are methods (protection, meds, etc) that help me to not worry about it constantly. I also appreciate that there are choices (colors, patterns, interpretations, etc) to express ones’ individuality.

 

[LittleCharlemangne]

Hi. I have legitimately been incontinent, at least partially if not fully, since 2014, due to diabetic neuropathy and high blood sugars, which has affected my bladder and the nerves of my bladder. In addition, I don't completely empty my bladder - I take FLOMAX as a prescription medication to help with that issue. My question is though, I don't feel like having to wear diapers every day to manage my incontinence is a bad thing at all. In fact, I look forward to putting on my diapers every day, and I really like the look and feel of wearing diapers.

I wouldn't want or wish to be incontinent for a million years if I wasn't already. Incontinence can really suck some days - all the cleaning, grooming, preparation, and diaper maintenance every day can often be very tedious and difficult to keep up with. Fortunately, I have a wonderful PCA (personal care attendant) that helps me tons with these day-to-day needs.

Does anyone else who is incontinent also feel this way about having to wear diapers? I think, at least for me, my feelings are my coping mechanism to feel more positive about all the trauma, abuse, and body shame I suffered as a child. I still remember being potty trained as a toddler, and I remember it was quite embarrassing and shaming for me way back when it happened (I was born in 1968, so that was around the early 1970's).

I was just wondering if it's a bad thing to feel so positive/good about having to wear diapers to manage incontinence. I believe that if you have to wear, at least you can wear with some degree of confidence/pride, without feeling ashamed about it. The public can be very cruel, and i think it's nice to know that at least I can go out in public wearing a diaper, and I won't feel so stressed and worried about being "found out." I had a very rare anxiety/panic attack very soon after my incontinence diagnosis around December 2014 abut wearing a diaper in public - it was one of my first times doing so. Since then, however, I have learned to cope very well, and I know securely that no one knows unless I tell them explicitly.

So, what are your thoughts about this? I'd really like to know. Thank you! Be safe...

I understand what you mean, even if I'm not fully incontinent. I've had bedwetting problems all my life, and OAB as well, so diapers have been a permanent part of my nighttime attire, and during the day I often feel I need to wear protective underwear or even lightweight diapers in case there isn't a bathroom readily available when out and about.

It's been a source of frustration at times, fear and shame at others. But, there is a degree of comfort and sense of security that I derive from my protection, whether it's knowing I won't have to frantically search for a restroom for the risk of ultimately making a wet mess of myself in front of other people, or not having to worry about waking up to change my wet sheets and sleep on the couch.
To be diapered means to me that I don't have to be afraid, and I can lead a relatively normal life, especially once you realize that nobody really notices what you're wearing under your clothes.

On potty training, I feel you.
I didn't get the hang of it till I was nearly 5 years old, I also had a fascination with diapers and asked my parents not to make me wear underwear (which they didn't agree to). I'd get in trouble for wearing my overnight diapers during the day and be made to feel ashamed of them, not to mention the pressure before then of getting through potty training.
It's not something I want to push on my kids (when I find someone to have them with), I don't want them to be made to feel like that and force them into something for my convenience, I've read a number of studies and firsthand accounts that it's something they'll choose on their own and their accomplishment, proving healthier than forcing them to something they might not be ready for.

*Good Lord I've made a wall of text*
The gist of what I'm trying to say, is don't feel bad, don't think like there's something wrong with you, it's not good for you, Yes it's a coping mechanism and Yes it's normal.
There's no rule that you should be miserable with the hand you've been dealt, make the best of the situation and accept whatever comfort and happiness you can find in it, as it's okay to be your worst critic (that's where personal growth comes from in many regards), just don't be your own worst enemy.

 

[abdl86]

, es

I understand what you mean, even if I'm not fully incontinent. I've had bedwetting problems all my life, and OAB as well, so diapers have been a permanent part of my nighttime attire, and during the day I often feel I need to wear protective underwear or even lightweight diapers in case there isn't a bathroom readily available when out and about.

It's been a source of frustration at times, fear and shame at others. But, there is a degree of comfort and sense of security that I derive from my protection, whether it's knowing I won't have to frantically search for a restroom for the risk of ultimately making a wet mess of myself in front of other people, or not having to worry about waking up to change my wet sheets and sleep on the couch.
To be diapered means to me that I don't have to be afraid, and I can lead a relatively normal life, especially once you realize that nobody really notices what you're wearing under your clothes.

On potty training, I feel you.
I didn't get the hang of it till I was nearly 5 years old, I also had a fascination with diapers and asked my parents not to make me wear underwear (which they didn't agree to). I'd get in trouble for wearing my overnight diapers during the day and be made to feel ashamed of them, not to mention the pressure before then of getting through potty training.
It's not something I want to push on my kids (when I find someone to have them with), I don't want them to be made to feel like that and force them into something for my convenience, I've read a number of studies and firsthand accounts that it's something they'll choose on their own and their accomplishment, proving healthier than forcing them to something they might not be ready for.

*Good Lord I've made a wall of text*
The gist of what I'm trying to say, is don't feel bad, don't think like there's something wrong with you, it's not good for you, Yes it's a coping mechanism and Yes it's normal.
There's no rule that you should be miserable with the hand you've been dealt, make the best of the situation and accept whatever comfort and happiness you can find in it, as it's okay to be your worst critic (that's where personal growth comes from in many regards), just don't be your own worst enemy.

Very good you made here.

 

[LifeInPlastic]

It surely ain't wrong to like it. Actually you freed yourself.
The embarassment of wearing is a social construct and by-product of an opressive potty training. As young children many have been told directly or indirectly that they are a failure if they don't learn to use a potty. That leaves scars on the mind - hence the embarassment. This summer marked my 8th year 24/7 back in diapers. It was hell when it stated but I too was able to accept and finally like diapers after some years. That was a great relief and the ABDL community was a crucial help on that way. Even if I would not consider myself as one or the other even now. I just have fun wearing poofy pants. ^^

Cheers

 

[SeniorMan]

It's okay to be your worst critic (that's where personal growth comes from in many regards).

When we are our own worst critics, personal growth means eliminating our shame-based self-image. Nevertheless, unfortunately, the labels we may give ourselves when depressed (dummy, idiot, and screw-up) often emerge from a shame-based self-image and are not surprisingly the names others have called us in the home in which we grew up. However, what happens when we believe those labels are accurate? Our self-image can direct many choices and relationships without being aware that we are in a partnership with the people who shamed us as a child. For example, we may want to improve our self-esteem because we know we hold ourselves back from some achievements by not believing we could succeed.

On the other hand, our self-image is also a problem because we view ourselves as the dumb screw-up our family had labeled us. Nevertheless, when asked if we were willing to give up the labels we had for ourselves, we asked how we would give them up when they were true. We want to give up the belief that we were "dumb" and a "screw-up," but we had never thought of ourselves in any other way. When asked if we are allowed to make a mistake like every other person, we say we certainly did make mistakes, but those merely proved we were dumb; yet other, more intelligent people could just make a mistake, and it did not determine their quality or abilities. When we look at other people, we can see their qualities through their words and actions without hearing the labels they give themselves, while we may not see ourselves so objectively. We were curious about what we could do about this when we found it very hard to see ourselves in any other way. When our self-image is rooted in shame, we fear exposure as flawed, insufficient, or plain wrong. We are not likely to believe our successes are anything other than accidents but that our failures are the logical outcome of who we are in life. Our belief system has likely been around for a while, and it is self-reinforcing. We are not allowing positive feedback to get into our self-image and change it, while we allow negative experiences to reinforce the shaming labels we apply to ourselves.

One way to walk out of the negative labeling is to develop self-compassion actively. Becoming more objective about our abilities and actions is possible through the practice of self-compassion. This mindfulness-based approach allows us to observe our actions and the responses of others to us without any judgment. Observing without judgment can move us to see ourselves in new, objective terms and lead to greater understanding and acceptance without negative labels. A consequence will be greater compassion toward others and more positive relationships. The benefits of positive connections with others, with nurturing can be a way of nurturing one's self-esteem. Loving oneself and others becomes, over time, the way to more excellent health and happiness. We can deliberately nurture positive emotions, which will help lift us out of our shame-based labeling. However, self-compassion and loving oneself (and others) take practice. We can rid ourselves of negative labels and develop self-compassion.

From https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/depression-management-techniques/201404/what-do-when-you-are-your-own-worst-critic

 

[Lecktroman]

I gotta say this: you're absolutely fine. It's incredibly refreshing to read about someone who's so okay with it and even likes it, despite the extra workload and the anxiety of others' reactions. I love your perspective!

I am an American, and God help me, I gotta say this: Americans are so, so fearful, neurotic and hair-trigger aggressive! On the whole, we are terrified of diapers (among other things), especially if we are faced with having to wear them ourselves, let alone discovering the adult next to us is wearing...exponentially so if we're even remotely near an Adult Baby.

I've told a few times of my forays to Canada for fun times at Diaper Camp. You'd be utterly stunned how Canadian vanillas react! They're quite accommodating...it's no big deal to them, sounds fun, even cute to the ladies...they wouldn't do it themselves but do enjoy it yourself! I remember being in line at the Hinton, Alberta Tim Hortons after Diaper Camp let out, dressed in shortalls, a stripey shirt, hi-tops an' slouchy socks...I was def in Toddler Mode, getting giggly, adoring looks from women in line...and that ultra-cute countergirl named Becky, too... I don't know if any of them wondered if I was wearing a diaper under it all...but I was. Double-thick, damp Attends. One woman even quick-glanced at my diaper area, gave me a sweet, knowing smile and went her way.

My point: do that here in America and 99.9% of the time, you'll get Frank Burns and "Hot Lips" Houlihan in your face. I kid you not. America...

We are friendly in Canada!