gouletkyle
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All my close friends know about my issues. I carry a diaper bag and have changed at there placed many times so made sure they all knew for a while.
How many friends that know you're IC?
- Thread starter CrossfireHurricane
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HalMidLife
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My mother, my best friend and his wife know, but that's it, at least as far as I know. Turns out my best friend's wife also has bladder issues and uses pull ups, so we have that in common 
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None and I hope to keep it that way! I imagine it would only come up if I was sharing a room with someone and luckily that hasn't happened yet. I guess at Primary School a few people knew due to bedwetting and the odd accident but no one I'm in regular contact with now knows and indeed back then no one knew it was a regular, chronic issue.
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Mapboy
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Other than my family, on a couple of friends know
Jim100
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All my friends and medical know. I make no secret.
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I am totally with @greatlake5 and @Ellyn here. My wife knows, three really close friends, and a coworker that accidentally received a letter from my doctor. I suspect a lot of other people know or suspect but no one's ever said anything and I try not to worry about it. I was lucky enough to be done with college before it got really bad. It's a medical thing and I don't want people to treat me differently (for better or worse) because of it.greatlake5 said:
HalMidLife
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Sorry for replying to my own comment (haha) but I forgot to include my dentist. She knows because the last time I went for an appointment, it was quite early in the morning, and her exam room was honestly surprisingly quiet - absolutely pin drop silent - and the "crinkle" sound that I usually don't notice at all in any public place stood out like a sore thumb. So much so, I sort of had to acknowledge it because she always asks health questions, so I made a joke about getting old and it being "just one of those things" and not due to any serious issues.HalMidLife said:My mother, my best friend and his wife know, but that's it, at least as far as I know. Turns out my best friend's wife also has bladder issues and uses pull ups, so we have that in common
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I’m pretty open with my IC with people, and my diaper needs - simply because I have other, more visible disabilities, and incontinence is part of it.
I can also be very anxious at times - it’s the way my brain is wired, if I kept it quiet, it would gnaw at me and make me feel ashamed about it - and I don’t want this fear to hold me back. So it’s easier if I calmly disclose it rather than gnaw at me.
I also work self-employed in a lot of fast-paced jobs, and I’m used to disclosing this as a matter of course.
I’m not an exhibitionist, but I’ve reached a point where I’m wearing diapers openly around friends, rather than cover it up all the time. To me, diapers are not shameful - if anything they hide my shame by keeping me clean and dry.
If my diaper waistband shows, it’s no different to if I was managing my incontinence with a catheter and leg bag, or if I needed a stoma bag - in fact compared to either of those, it’s more discreet.
Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002
I can also be very anxious at times - it’s the way my brain is wired, if I kept it quiet, it would gnaw at me and make me feel ashamed about it - and I don’t want this fear to hold me back. So it’s easier if I calmly disclose it rather than gnaw at me.
I also work self-employed in a lot of fast-paced jobs, and I’m used to disclosing this as a matter of course.
I’m not an exhibitionist, but I’ve reached a point where I’m wearing diapers openly around friends, rather than cover it up all the time. To me, diapers are not shameful - if anything they hide my shame by keeping me clean and dry.
If my diaper waistband shows, it’s no different to if I was managing my incontinence with a catheter and leg bag, or if I needed a stoma bag - in fact compared to either of those, it’s more discreet.
Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002
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My wife as of this moment in time knows I am Incontinent and wear 24/7. Our 40-year-old daughter may know do not know if the wife told her. I was recently talking and somehow the talk of incontinence came up and he said he used pads. (Not really a close friend just an acquaintance.)
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For me it has to be "at least" 15-20. Not a typo. I've been blessed with more true friends in one lifetime than anyone deserves in multiple lifetimes and for the most part I'm in continual contact with the majority of them most of the time. Even my best friend who lives east of Nashville is aware as I've spent many months at his house helping him with his business when it was losing money and I still do this to this very day.
I was literally "at the top of my "game" (life) when I went down and began uncontrollably wetting 5-6 months later which became 99.5% of the time at night, roughly the same if I dozed off (nap) and when my back was so bad I couldn't stand or walk unassisted it was a 50/50 proposition and degraded from there because even if I knew I had to go, would I make it to a bathroom in time? I spent at least 140-150 days hospitalized in 2004 alone and I can't think of any of my friends who didn't see me while in numerous times including quite a few who were there most of the time, if not every day! My own friends blew my wife out of the water as she couldn't be bothered half the time and not seeing my 2 (at the time) very young sons (5 1/2 & 2 1/2) used to truly hurt like hell.
Just be seeing me while in the hospital after August 2004 there was no way to hide diapers. Diapers on shelves. Diapers above my bed along with wipes, ointments etc. Add to that we'd play pitch when there were 4-6 of us and that would require having the nurses come in to help me get into a chair and my friends wheeling me down to one of the community rooms they have. This was before I ever had MRSA and was always in a shared room and who the hell would want to be next tot he guy who played pitch with his friends until damn near midnight? My nurses & hospital staff were fine with that so long as we kept the noise to a low rumble. Simply close the door and no one could here us, usually at least. I can't possibly recall how many times my nurses would come in (they still checked on me every hour) with meds, IV pain meds and knowing how frequently I soaked through everything to ask me if I needed to "go to the bathroom" and I told them there's no need to speak in codes, everyone knows and it was alright with me. We also used to go on fishing trips together for a week or long weekend, I'd be laid up at home and again, diapers in plain view.
My entire family is aware as well. Amazingly the ONLY person who ever had any issues with my life falling apart is my soon to be ex.
The irony of this (to me) is that I guess I'm the guy to talk to now as friends of mine are beginning to have issues, albeit slight in all but one instance but he sustained a severe closed head injury and his body did a complete 180 almost instantly. Never could had imagined a brain injury could cause all of your muscle mass to wither away (quickly too) or cause any of the million other issues he has. I'm also asked what "products to buy" when one of my friends parents are in need of "protection" and must have handed out at least 50-60 "samples" over the years and that's definitely been accelerating somewhat as the youngest of our parents are in their early-mid 70s now.
To be totally honest, I'm actually GLAD this worked out like this. I never have anything to hide, never need to "act strangely" around my close friends etc. Now, there's far more people I know that have no clue as to personal information like this but outside of a couple of hours together here and there they have no need to know. If they "discovered" my secret so be it. If nothing else, everyone who knows me knows I went from being among the strongest 1% of men on Earth to having to sell my garage, using a wheelchair and/or a walker for several years until I got back to where I could use a cane, so they at the very least know I had/have substantial health issues.
Outside of the hospital or being laid up in bed no one has really ever seen me in diapers though as I do a pretty thorough job keeping that as inconspicuous as I am able to.
I was literally "at the top of my "game" (life) when I went down and began uncontrollably wetting 5-6 months later which became 99.5% of the time at night, roughly the same if I dozed off (nap) and when my back was so bad I couldn't stand or walk unassisted it was a 50/50 proposition and degraded from there because even if I knew I had to go, would I make it to a bathroom in time? I spent at least 140-150 days hospitalized in 2004 alone and I can't think of any of my friends who didn't see me while in numerous times including quite a few who were there most of the time, if not every day! My own friends blew my wife out of the water as she couldn't be bothered half the time and not seeing my 2 (at the time) very young sons (5 1/2 & 2 1/2) used to truly hurt like hell.
Just be seeing me while in the hospital after August 2004 there was no way to hide diapers. Diapers on shelves. Diapers above my bed along with wipes, ointments etc. Add to that we'd play pitch when there were 4-6 of us and that would require having the nurses come in to help me get into a chair and my friends wheeling me down to one of the community rooms they have. This was before I ever had MRSA and was always in a shared room and who the hell would want to be next tot he guy who played pitch with his friends until damn near midnight? My nurses & hospital staff were fine with that so long as we kept the noise to a low rumble. Simply close the door and no one could here us, usually at least. I can't possibly recall how many times my nurses would come in (they still checked on me every hour) with meds, IV pain meds and knowing how frequently I soaked through everything to ask me if I needed to "go to the bathroom" and I told them there's no need to speak in codes, everyone knows and it was alright with me. We also used to go on fishing trips together for a week or long weekend, I'd be laid up at home and again, diapers in plain view.
My entire family is aware as well. Amazingly the ONLY person who ever had any issues with my life falling apart is my soon to be ex.
The irony of this (to me) is that I guess I'm the guy to talk to now as friends of mine are beginning to have issues, albeit slight in all but one instance but he sustained a severe closed head injury and his body did a complete 180 almost instantly. Never could had imagined a brain injury could cause all of your muscle mass to wither away (quickly too) or cause any of the million other issues he has. I'm also asked what "products to buy" when one of my friends parents are in need of "protection" and must have handed out at least 50-60 "samples" over the years and that's definitely been accelerating somewhat as the youngest of our parents are in their early-mid 70s now.
To be totally honest, I'm actually GLAD this worked out like this. I never have anything to hide, never need to "act strangely" around my close friends etc. Now, there's far more people I know that have no clue as to personal information like this but outside of a couple of hours together here and there they have no need to know. If they "discovered" my secret so be it. If nothing else, everyone who knows me knows I went from being among the strongest 1% of men on Earth to having to sell my garage, using a wheelchair and/or a walker for several years until I got back to where I could use a cane, so they at the very least know I had/have substantial health issues.
Outside of the hospital or being laid up in bed no one has really ever seen me in diapers though as I do a pretty thorough job keeping that as inconspicuous as I am able to.
wheelz4legz
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Most of my friends know, and of course my family. I use a urine collection leg bag a lot of the time, which is visible
Raven801
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All my friends know....my ex made sure everyone knew....,..most of them really didn't care.... luckily
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5 or so know & understand
few more don't understand why I just don't take medication or get surgery
few more don't understand why I just don't take medication or get surgery
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Sometimes, especially with ex-wife/ex-husband or ex-friends, if they are trying to harm the original IC person, protect yourself. It's difficult to get a law suit about this type of personal information. But certainly if it's in an ongoing divorce suit, a judge should be aware of this type of extortion. At some point your lawyer could set a law suit for damages. It's been done. At the worst, the extortionist will have to pay their own lawyer.Raven801 said:
For the few friend (and family) that know about my IC, all of them understand the issues. Most of them don't even discus me wearing diapers. They respect my privacy.
I'm an educator and guidance counselor. I work with young adults. There might be a few of them who might suspect that I wear a diaper. But everyone that I know respect what I do and how I deal with others. So I don't really have to worry about that. Being a long-time IC person, obviously there are people who know. But to be honest, most people don't care. The odd person who might want to discus or question me, I simply tell them it's a medical issue and I'd prefer to not discus it further. That has always worked.
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My family has always known about my incontinence. Siblings would tease me in a light hearted way growing up and one of them also had bed wetting problems, so the teasing was returned. Aside from family, I keep my health conditions very private. If someone ever asked, I’d just say yes, I have a health condition and manage incontinence with absorbent products.
So far, I’ve never been asked, and as long as you’re discreet about it, I don’t anticipate that secret getting out.
So far, I’ve never been asked, and as long as you’re discreet about it, I don’t anticipate that secret getting out.
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Most of mine do by now. I'm not shy about my incontinence and needing diapers full time. I've had oab since I was a teenager and went 24-7 just before the pandemic started. Having my friends know has been super helpful. Especially if I have a bad day and need to vent.
I also teach scuba and there's a lot of diaper usage among the other instructors for dry suit diving.
Fun story from yesterday. We were doing openwater checkouts and after I got out of the water I went to put a fresh diaper on and didn't have any diapers in the car. I was cleaning the SUV last week and completely forgot to put my diaper bag back in my SUV. Luckily I was able to get get a diaper from one of my closet friends. It was unfortunately a crappy store brand, but enough to get me home.
I've also become the dry suit diaper expert at our shop. So many people getting frustrated at store brands until I pass them some higher quality NS diapers. It's kind of fun being able to use my incontinence and diapers skills to help out my friends.
I also teach scuba and there's a lot of diaper usage among the other instructors for dry suit diving.
Fun story from yesterday. We were doing openwater checkouts and after I got out of the water I went to put a fresh diaper on and didn't have any diapers in the car. I was cleaning the SUV last week and completely forgot to put my diaper bag back in my SUV. Luckily I was able to get get a diaper from one of my closet friends. It was unfortunately a crappy store brand, but enough to get me home.
I've also become the dry suit diaper expert at our shop. So many people getting frustrated at store brands until I pass them some higher quality NS diapers. It's kind of fun being able to use my incontinence and diapers skills to help out my friends.
Raven801
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And I though I was the only one LoL ...many years ago when I bought my first dry suit I was contemplating a p valve but was struggling to put a hole in such an expensive purchase yet alone my used dry suit had a leak because of a bad valve installation, and someone I was diving with took me aside and said don't risk it just wear a diaper...I thought she was joking but quickly found out among the female divers that was common ish. I was actually shocked but years later my IC got much worse and long story short I have introduced many dry suit users to premium briefs lolNothingtoseehere said:
hockeydl77
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Only my ex knows
daylight
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Introvert - 
-Extrovert.
I have people talk to me about what they are going through, and I'm sympathetic and an active listener, I don't normally divulge my medical issues other than higher level categorization and associated limits. I get it, talking about it helps to normalize and work through the emotions. Some topics are just awkward.
There are forums to help with group therapy for incontinence. It is not a badge I care to display in public.
-Extrovert.I have people talk to me about what they are going through, and I'm sympathetic and an active listener, I don't normally divulge my medical issues other than higher level categorization and associated limits. I get it, talking about it helps to normalize and work through the emotions. Some topics are just awkward.
There are forums to help with group therapy for incontinence. It is not a badge I care to display in public.
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I'd "normally" agree with this 100% and actually this is how I lived my life up until, well, I couldn't. Literally! When you go from NEVER SITTING STILL (self employed over educated professional auto/truck/equipment/marine technician (I prefer mechanic, but whatever) that was 50-60 hours/week at my garage. Add in a min 2 nights/week doing "side work" *work that I couldn't take on at my shop as I couldn't afford to tie up a bay for a day or more....LARGE jobs* but as many as 20-25 hours in the winter. I lifted weights for 150 minutes every other night pretty much from the age of 12 through just before turning 34. I fished in over a dozen bass tournaments, coached football & wrestling, had a great family life with 2 very young sons as well as did all of the around the house work, yard work etc.daylight said:Introvert -
I have people talk to me about what they are going through, and I'm sympathetic and an active listener, I don't normally divulge my medical issues other than higher level categorization and associated limits. I get it, talking about it helps to normalize and work through the emotions. Some topics are just awkward.
There are forums to help with group therapy for incontinence. It is not a badge I care to display in public.
In the blink of an eye I was unable to do ANY of the above. That was Jan 18 2004. By Sept/Oct 2004 I couldn't stand or walk. I spent at least 125 days hospitalized in 2004 alone (well in excess of 700 now) and again in 2005.
When your life does a radical 180 that quickly, everyone who you know that cares even a little bit about you has a billion and one questions. I simply chose to be straight up with everyone I considered to be "close" as that saved me from ever having to worry about getting 'caught in a lie" or ever having to explain anything medical related.
I certainly do NOT advertise my issues to people who I am not close to but even at that, many others know, just not specifics or details. Incontinence is perhaps the best example as everyone who is anything to me in my life (family, close to 2 dozen close, personal, and life-long friends) knows. I don't advertise the fact and I do ensure I'm not giving anything blatantly away by being careful how I dress but still, when you have to wear the vast majority of the time, there's no sense in being ultra secretive about it as sooner or later someone will either see the "products" at your house, in your car, on a shelf, while you're hospitalized or maybe even see a diaper ride up above your pants. NOT having to continually answer the same questions to people who maybe aren't "shocked" but are caught off guard gets OLD, FAST!
So yeah...for me I learned it's better off being up front with people that matter to me and all medical professionals. This has saved me countless issues, embarrassing episodes and, VERY CONTRARY to my original fears, there hasn't been ANY negative social implications stemming from the issues I live with. While I am against "advertising" personal issues I am not a fan of going out of my way to try to hide them, either.
I hope this makes sense. I'm in tremendous pain right now (lower back is beyond "out") and only responding & reading posts to get my mind off of not being able to do a damn thing outside of lie down eating pills! PRAYING I hear some news, ANY NEWS regarding my back asap.