your thoughts on shame?

[pjprettybutton]

I like feeling ashamed as a little one. It makes me feel little and weak, which I like. Of course, it's also nice to be cuddled, reassured, and (yes) teased, which brings back the shame again. I know most people (including me) usually consider shame to be a bad thing, but in the special context of being a little sissy, i think it's delicious. I would love to know how everyone else thinks of shame. Are there particular situations that make you feel ashamed in a nice way, or at least a gentle one? I notice that for me shame usually doesn't last long; it's like a flash of fear that subsides when you realize you're not really in danger. Of course, it can quickly rise again. . . .

 

[LittleRobbie]

Tricky...
Depends really where I am, who i'm with, and what I'm ashamed about!
Sometimes being ashamed is good, sometimes it's not.

 

[VeiledDevotee]

The shame really bothers me. Whenever i feel ashamed... lets just say its not pretty.... it consumes me.
This abdl stuff can never get out.
If it ever does, i just hope i can find it in me to start over.

 

[RuffRuff]

If the shame is in a fun playful way that means no harm to a person. There comes a point when shaming can be harmful and can cause mental and emotional hardship to a person. I am for the playful shame things if done correctly. If shaming is done to harm. I don't like that at all. It is hard having to find this part of me, because the shame that would follow me from family and friends would put my mental and emotional state in harms way.

 

[llcollector14]

For me I equate shame with humiliation and when done right in play it is a powerful turn on for me.

Shame by itslef for me has always been negative. I fell ashame because of my desires and that they don’t meet with Societie’s values which I believe are completly wrong and used to control and placate the masses. I am different, I think differently and always believe that this is what makes us all stronger by not confirming. Shame was used against me to try and get me in line. Didn’t work on me but I saw first hand the effect on others. Not a nice thing.

So shame is a strong no but humiliation play done with love yes. Note that there is a lot of prep before humiliation play to avoid the nasty part of humiliation and maintain the trust between two partners

 

[Ali123]

For me I equate shame with humiliation and when done right in play it is a powerful turn on for me.

Shame by itslef for me has always been negative. I fell ashame because of my desires and that they don’t meet with Societie’s values which I believe are completly wrong and used to control and placate the masses. I am different, I think differently and always believe that this is what makes us all stronger by not confirming. Shame was used against me to try and get me in line. Didn’t work on me but I saw first hand the effect on others. Not a nice thing.

So shame is a strong no but humiliation play done with love yes. Note that there is a lot of prep before humiliation play to avoid the nasty part of humiliation and maintain the trust between two partners

I love gentle humiliation too.

When I was a child my mother made me put on a pair of my little sister's panties for a spanking. The humiliation was intense. Over time this expanded to having to wear Lucy's dresses and skirts too.

As a coping mechanism I pretended at first to not mind being dressed like that, and then I pretended to enjoy it. After a while I found I did actually start to enjoy it. The humiliation became part of it for me.

Now I love to be humiliated by being 'made' to wear panties and girly, or even babyish, clothes.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Shame is a base-level punishment. It certainly does no good without leaving a residual scarring effect.

 

[BuddyBoy]

I like feeling ashamed as a little one. It makes me feel little and weak, which I like. Of course, it's also nice to be cuddled, reassured, and (yes) teased, which brings back the shame again. I know most people (including me) usually consider shame to be a bad thing, but in the special context of being a little sissy, i think it's delicious. I would love to know how everyone else thinks of shame. Are there particular situations that make you feel ashamed in a nice way, or at least a gentle one? I notice that for me shame usually doesn't last long; it's like a flash of fear that subsides when you realize you're not really in danger. Of course, it can quickly rise again. . . .

There is a rather nebulous line between shame and humiliation and I will not attempt to clarify it. But here's something to think about: If a male is shamed/humiliated by a female in the presence of other females and none speaks-up to support him, it as if all the women had shamed/ humiliated him. This increases the intensity of his reaction to what has been done to him.

 

[HoneySnow]

For me personally.....shame is not something I take lightly. I would never want my little to ever be ashamed of who they are or feel "shamed" by me. Now embarrassed on the other hand is a different story. And little embarrassment can get a little in that sweet bashful headspace when there is a wet spot on their jammies. Embarrassment is temporary and fleeting. I see shame as a burden you often carry for years. But maybe that's just my understanding of the word's meaning.... there is my two cents

 

[DaBone]

I like feeling ashamed as a little one. It makes me feel little and weak, which I like. Of course, it's also nice to be cuddled, reassured, and (yes) teased, which brings back the shame again. I know most people (including me) usually consider shame to be a bad thing, but in the special context of being a little sissy, i think it's delicious. I would love to know how everyone else thinks of shame. Are there particular situations that make you feel ashamed in a nice way, or at least a gentle one? I notice that for me shame usually doesn't last long; it's like a flash of fear that subsides when you realize you're not really in danger. Of course, it can quickly rise again. . . .

Not sure

 

[Pantyslave]

I love gentle humiliation too.

When I was a child my mother made me put on a pair of my little sister's panties for a spanking. The humiliation was intense. Over time this expanded to having to wear Lucy's dresses and skirts too.

As a coping mechanism I pretended at first to not mind being dressed like that, and then I pretended to enjoy it. After a while I found I did actually start to enjoy it. The humiliation became part of it for me.

Now I love to be humiliated by being 'made' to wear panties and girly, or even babyish, clothes.

Did you're mother make you wear the dresses as well as your sister's panties? Or did you do that yourself?

 

[SoggyRunner]

I am mostly DL with maybe a bit of little and no real sissy tendencies, and have been thinking about shame and humiliation (or embarrassment) lately. I see them as two very different things. For me shame is rooted in my own internal struggle with wearing diapers, feelings of not being “normal”, and even thinking I’m somehow broken for having these desires that seem innate to me and that I didn’t choose. I don’t see anything positive about feelings of shame as it is a barrier to being my authentic self, or at least being happy as my authentic self. As I have grown older (now in my 6th decade of my DL journey), I have slowly learned to accept this side of myself and do not feel the shame I did as a kid and young adult when I really just wanted the feelings to go away but the pull of diapers was too strong to let go. I still struggle with my relationship to diapers, though, and probably always will, even if I have evolved and grown for the better over time.

On the other hand, I see humiliation (or its lesser form embarrassment) as more external - a response to what others think of me or my actions, and depending on the situation, it can be highly erotic or exciting. Since I was a young child, I have had fantasies of having accidents and being put back in diapers and the embarrassment of everyone knowing that I was wearing one long after the age I should. Then, as now, it was mostly fantasy and solo play, although I did on occasion have “accidents” where I was embarrassed when it was discovered (although I never was diapered after one). As an adult, I love the humiliation of wearing a diaper in public, like while grocery shopping. Even though it is hidden and no one else knows, there is a combination of embarrassment and excitement with just the thought I might be discovered. I won’t expose others to my play without consent, so any public wearing is discreet and I do not stage public accidents. My wife knows of and accepts my DL side, and I love “risking” being caught by her if she finds me in a wet diaper. I have also set myself up for a few embarrassing accidents where I had to “suffer” the humiliation of either being discovered or telling her I hadn’t made it in time. Those have included holding while working in the garage to the point I repeatedly leaked and she discovered my wet pants, holding on a long drive and starting to pee my pants before we made it home, and having a legit IBS accident and later telling her about it when I didn’t have too.

Interestingly, the few times I have had a legitimate, unavoidable accident where others did or could have discovered, the humiliation was real, and not ant erotic or exciting at the time. Mostly, I just wanted to disappear! Having a messy accident in class during 4th grade, partially wetting my pants during a college final where I couldn’t go to the restroom during the exam period, and having an IBS flare at work and not making it in time. Fortunately, for the last one, I got away undiscovered.

 

[Ali123]

Did you're mother make you wear the dresses as well as your sister's panties? Or did you do that yourself?

My mother put me into Lucy's dresses and skirts. Although it was kind of my fault. I begged her to let me wear something to cover up the panties she'd made me wear (after a spanking I usually had to spend half an hour facing the corner, forbidden from rubbing or even touching my sore bottie).

I meant a pair of shorts or trousers, but one day she fetched me one of Lucy's dresses, and put me into that. The dress did cover my panties, but it wasn't at all what I had in mind.

 

[pjprettybutton]

For me I equate shame with humiliation and when done right in play it is a powerful turn on for me.

Shame by itslef for me has always been negative. I fell ashame because of my desires and that they don’t meet with Societie’s values which I believe are completly wrong and used to control and placate the masses. I am different, I think differently and always believe that this is what makes us all stronger by not confirming. Shame was used against me to try and get me in line. Didn’t work on me but I saw first hand the effect on others. Not a nice thing.

So shame is a strong no but humiliation play done with love yes. Note that there is a lot of prep before humiliation play to avoid the nasty part of humiliation and maintain the trust between two partners

Yes, you said it so well: "there is a lot of prep before humiliation play to avoid the nasty part of humiliation and maintain the trust between two partners." You really do have to know each other. Thanks for pointing it out. Curtseys.

 

[pjprettybutton]

I love gentle humiliation too.

When I was a child my mother made me put on a pair of my little sister's panties for a spanking. The humiliation was intense. Over time this expanded to having to wear Lucy's dresses and skirts too.

As a coping mechanism I pretended at first to not mind being dressed like that, and then I pretended to enjoy it. After a while I found I did actually start to enjoy it. The humiliation became part of it for me.

Now I love to be humiliated by being 'made' to wear panties and girly, or even babyish, clothes.

I'm glad it turned out well for you. I think I can understand how you eventually came to enjoy being put in your little sister's clothes. Perhaps it felt almost like a safe place after a while. I didn't experience petticoat punishment as a child, but wearing babyish, little girly things now often feels safe and embarrassing to me at the same time. It's almost as if being embarrassed without getting hurt is reassuring to me. Curtseys.

 

[60something]

Coming from a family of six kids and being the second oldest, I had many years of seeing some pretty heavy shaming and humiliation. It was considered a standard tool in my parents box of techniques to keep order and discipline amongst us. I recall being ordered to drop my pants (underpants stayed on due to the girls) in front of all my sisters and submit to some really harsh strapping with a belt. While the pain was wicked, the humiliation of being punished in front of my younger sisters was brutal. Invariably my punishments were met with glee on their part. I can still hear them screaming "hit him again hit him again". When dad was done with my bottom I couldn't escape fast enough from their jeers. I can still recall that bizarre electric feeling of shame that ran thru my body. I wonder if now that's why I find gentle humiliation enjoyable.

 

[pjprettybutton]

It seems to me that the punishment you suffered as a child was well over the line into abuse. Perhaps "that bizarre electric feeling of shame" was something that you somehow enjoyed nonetheless, at least a little. I can't guess why. But I'm glad you can now enjoy gentle humiliation. I think it is one of the sweetest feelings I know. Curtseys.

 

[60something]

It seems to me that the punishment you suffered as a child was well over the line into abuse. Perhaps "that bizarre electric feeling of shame" was something that you somehow enjoyed nonetheless, at least a little. I can't guess why. But I'm glad you can now enjoy gentle humiliation. I think it is one of the sweetest feelings I know. Curtseys.

HI! My gut feeling is extreme punishment was a starting point. Actually, this event and others like it in my youth. My thought is, when confronted with a new experience that's troubling, it's necessary for us to be able to process it and deal with it. It's part of our survival instincts. The question becomes where do we file it? How do we file it? We're far too young to make such a decision. The blueprint doesn't even exist yet. Many of the physiological aspects of pain and pleasure overlap. Yet the experiences causing it are the polar opposite. Adrenalin and endorphins are released and when we haven't been exposed to a life events to guide us, we assign those feelings in the bin. So to speak. The result? Pleasure accidentally becomes pain and pain becomes pleasure. In my case there's a pain bin. pleasure bin, and a large grey bin in between the two. Sometimes the scars of our childhood create some wiring errors.
The really sad aspect is, my parents were loving caring people, that dealt with us the way they themselves were raised. Were they to think they damaged me would have broken their hearts. Most of what I experienced was love, consideration and care. I could be an unruly child. I know that now. Anyways, in the hierarchy of a large family, desperate times required desperate measures. A brutal punishment (to me at that time) was the remedy. And? It worked. The results were superb. Problem solved.
Mom and Dad never knew of the scars created in a single moment. Neither did I!! LOL. The chaos that a family with six kids brought, made daily life difficult. In many ways to maintain some semblance of order, a militaristic approach became necessary. Why? It worked.... The overwhelming emotional needs of six children are impossible to meet by two parents in survival mode. Trust me. The demands of just food shelter and clothing is enough to overwhelm two adults. Their beliefs were their only guide. Their values and morals the only thing to temper outright brutality. Their child rearing manual was the same one I got. ....nothing...
Maybe that's why grandparents spoil their grandchildren. The y unconsciously understand thru life's lessons that compassion is truly the only pathway to raising the "perfect" child. it is said "Love IS The Answer." the question becomes how can we do that in the real world,

 

[BuddyBoy]

HI! My gut feeling is extreme punishment was a starting point. Actually, this event and others like it in my youth. My thought is, when confronted with a new experience that's troubling, it's necessary for us to be able to process it and deal with it. It's part of our survival instincts. The question becomes where do we file it? How do we file it? We're far too young to make such a decision. The blueprint doesn't even exist yet. Many of the physiological aspects of pain and pleasure overlap. Yet the experiences causing it are the polar opposite. Adrenalin and endorphins are released and when we haven't been exposed to a life events to guide us, we assign those feelings in the bin. So to speak. The result? Pleasure accidentally becomes pain and pain becomes pleasure. In my case there's a pain bin. pleasure bin, and a large grey bin in between the two. Sometimes the scars of our childhood create some wiring errors.
The really sad aspect is, my parents were loving caring people, that dealt with us the way they themselves were raised. Were they to think they damaged me would have broken their hearts. Most of what I experienced was love, consideration and care. I could be an unruly child. I know that now. Anyways, in the hierarchy of a large family, desperate times required desperate measures. A brutal punishment (to me at that time) was the remedy. And? It worked. The results were superb. Problem solved.
Mom and Dad never knew of the scars created in a single moment. Neither did I!! LOL. The chaos that a family with six kids brought, made daily life difficult. In many ways to maintain some semblance of order, a militaristic approach became necessary. Why? It worked.... The overwhelming emotional needs of six children are impossible to meet by two parents in survival mode. Trust me. The demands of just food shelter and clothing is enough to overwhelm two adults. Their beliefs were their only guide. Their values and morals the only thing to temper outright brutality. Their child rearing manual was the same one I got. ....nothing...
Maybe that's why grandparents spoil their grandchildren. The y unconsciously understand thru life's lessons that compassion is truly the only pathway to raising the "perfect" child. it is said "Love IS The Answer." the question becomes how can we do that in the real world,

Thoughts worth pondering. Beautifully written.

 

[PrettyAlice]

I like feeling ashamed as a little one. It makes me feel little and weak, which I like. Of course, it's also nice to be cuddled, reassured, and (yes) teased, which brings back the shame again. I know most people (including me) usually consider shame to be a bad thing, but in the special context of being a little sissy, i think it's delicious. I would love to know how everyone else thinks of shame. Are there particular situations that make you feel ashamed in a nice way, or at least a gentle one? I notice that for me shame usually doesn't last long; it's like a flash of fear that subsides when you realize you're not really in danger. Of course, it can quickly rise again. . . .

Feeling shame is very much part of being a sissy little girl. Both my Mummy and my babysitter enjoy humiliating me in front of others of both sexes such as making me recite nursery rhymes in my lisping voice, lifting up my dress to show off my pretty frillies, and performing simple dance routines. I consider they have every right to do this even though it makes me blush and sometimes even cry.