Writing an Incontinent Protagonist for ADISC

Rainbow

Formerly RainbowConnection/ Kenopsia
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So I have plans to start writing a new story specifically for ADISC. I think I want the main character to be ABDL, but I also want them to struggle with incontinence. This, however, presents a lot of concerns I need to address before I can begin writing.

Let me outline the very basic premise for the story. I want to write a fictional, fantastical story based on the ABDL experience -- the good, the bad, the ugly. The main protag is a 20-something red-headed woman, who is the secret protector of her fictional city. She's ABDL, but hasn't learned to accept it yet. Her partner is a sentient teddy bear named Mr. Ribbon. I haven't worked out exactly how he works yet, but he's more of an "imaginitive" figure who still interacts with the world, like Blue in Blue's Clues, if that makes sense.

My main issue right now is whether I can write a protag with bowel/bladder issues in a respectful way, seeing as I'm, well, not incontinent. The fact she is also ABDL makes it tougher, because I don't want the protag to suddenly become a caricature ("oh, this is what all incontinent people are like!"). That would only reduce visibility and upset people who genuinely struggle. In other words, I don't want to write a character that glorifies incontinence through being ABDL.

But I do want to write an incontinent character because I know a significant portion of members here are both ABDL and incontinent. And even for those who aren't ABDL, I have heard that they will sometimes speak with ABDLs about hygiene items and the like. Though again, I know that many incontinent people also don't mingle with the ABDL crowd at all.

I figure I want the protag to have an issue where they need protection sometimes, but they ultimately still choose to wear diapers even when they don't need them simply because they like them. I figure this might be a good balance of needing diapers and wanting them. My dilemma is, of course, what exact condition that should be. I want it to be common enough so that most people who are incontinent can relate to it, too.

Alternatively, maybe it would be better to have a separate character who is incontinent, and then keep the protag as strictly ABDL. But my vision really is for only one main protag, and squeezing another character in seems like it's forcing it (this other character wouldn't be main character). Also, splitting the two elements into separate people means that both elements now lack portions of the full picture -- they lack the overlaps between the two. But then again, many if not most incontinent people do not overlap with ABDL at all.

Ah, see what I mean? Perhaps it is too difficult for me to write a good incontinent character. And yet, it feels necessary. Even if I don't make an incontinent character in this ABDL themed story, I do want to write an incontinent character in a story someday. Maybe something I can publish.

...

TLDR/ Conclusion: So here's my question; based on the info I've given above, how would you prefer I write an incontinent character? Make the protag struggle with bladder or bowel issues (and if so, what condition should I represent), split them up into separate characters, or save the incontinence aspect for another story?

Any and all comments are welcome. And please let me know if I've gotten any info wrong. I'm just going based on what I remember hearing people talk about. The experiences and words of those who struggle with incontinence are especially valued.
 
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I probably could have spaced out my two threads better, aha.
 
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