Wife is so disgusted

[Pantyman]

So when I was drinking heavily which I have since gave up, I would wear a diaper at night because I would often wet the bed. My wife while not liking it at all reluctantly accepted it. But now that I can go without accidents and she knows this I am criticized every time I wear a diaper and use it at night. Just this morning I was sitting drinking coffee in my swollen diaper enjoying the swollen leg spreading crotch and my wife said that is so disgusting that you are willing to sit there in a soiled diaper. She states she will never understand it and if I continue to do it she will sleep in the other room. I love my wife and do not want us to start sleeping separately but I just wish there was some way I could get her to accept diapers at least at night. When I was seeing a counselor while I was stopping drinking the conversation came up about my diaper wearing and I was looking for support from my counselor. She cited with my wife and said if she is against it I should consider not doing it. I feel no one is on my side here and that I'm going to be pushed to quit wearing.

 

[abdlchristian12]

That’s a tough situation. I would suggest the book “You are not broken” by Dr Rhoda Lipscomb. You can find it on Amazon. This book helped my wife’s navigation with ABDL immensely.

 

[WishfulJirachi]

You may not have to cut off diaper wearing entirely. Talk with her in private and learn what her boundaries are. Maybe she is okay with you wearing as long as you don't wet yourself, maybe not. You may still be able to wear when she's not around.
Also, you need to understand her position just as much as she yours. Try to put yourself in her shoes for a moment.
Good luck!

 

[Pantyman]

You may not have to cut off diaper wearing entirely. Talk with her in private and learn what her boundaries are. Maybe she is okay with you wearing as long as you don't wet yourself, maybe not. You may still be able to wear when she's not around.
Also, you need to understand her position just as much as she yours. Try to put yourself in her shoes for a moment.
Good luck!

We have had long discussions of it. I brought up the fact that is comforting and offers me a bit of night time security. I compared it to using a weighted blanket and how it brings comfort and security and helps with sleep. But she did not understand that at all. And said there is no comparison between a weighted blanket and a diaper. As for wearing when she's not around, I do do that. For the last 3 years I have been wearing to work everyday. Luckily I get up at 3:30 in the morning and she's not awake so I slip into my diaper and go to work. But I have been off of work now for a couple months due to an injury and maybe off for several more. So that means no diaper wearing. I'm having withdrawals!

 

[BostonBaby]

I'm sure if you weeded the garden, or mowed the lawn, or vacuumed the house while wearing a wet diaper she would not mind (so long as it was under your shorts or pants). She would probably be a bit more accepting - yes? Can't hurt to try.

 

[Deleted member 28729]

I completely empathize with you as my wife is also disgusted and against my diaper wearing. When I told her about 9 years ago, she freaked out and almost left me. However, since then she has learn to deal with the knowledge of me wearing, but we have boundaries. She never wants to see me in one and she prefers that I don’t ever wear one around her even if covered up. I’m free to do it when she’s not around, but those opportunities are very few and far in between. I can’t even wear to work because she works with me in the same department.

 

[Pantyman]

I completely empathize with you as my wife is also disgusted and against my diaper wearing. When I told her about 9 years ago, she freaked out and almost left me. However, since then she has learn to deal with the knowledge of me wearing, but we have boundaries. She never wants to see me in one and she prefers that I don’t ever wear one around her even if covered up. I’m free to do it when she’s not around, but those opportunities are very few and far in between. I can’t even wear to work because she works with me in the same department.

I do not openly wear it in front of her. I always wear a pair of compression shorts over my diaper regardless of if I'm wearing to bed or wearing to work. So there is very little chance to see we'll see anything except for maybe a glimpse. But she has good hearing and she definitely hears the crinkle noise. I even tried the quieter diapers but she knows by the look.

 

[littledinogoesrawr]

I am in the same situation as some of you. And I love this world and wearing.

BUT, I can't make her like anything she does not want, I respect her boundries and I love the fact she knows and respects me enough to let me wear ocasionally, I cant use them in front of her, but I don't care, she loves me and respect me to that point, that's her limit.

You guys should talk and draw lines.
Talk makes everything easies

 

[claire123]

Try respecting her wishes more and she might let you indulge more. She’s been honest to you about how it makes her feel, and that’s fine very valid, a lot of people feel that way. I understand your desire to wear as majority of us do, but would it be worth losing your wife over? Because all your gonna do by keep wearing is pushing her away because she doesn’t feel respected

 

[Subtlerustle]

Yes …all of the above but she has to understand the damage she’s causing by implying or stating you’re disgusting. That is extremely hurtful. Frankly there have to be boundaries on both sides of the relationship. If that emotion is real on her part then she needs to reflect on the big picture. When things got deep in my marital discussions about this I stated that I couldn’t be the subject of “disgust”. She assured me that wasn’t the case. She was pissed off about the lack of transparency. I think she needs to address this in therapy. Jmo. I hope you can figure this out.

 

[sbmccue]

While I don't disagree with Subtlerustle, I don't think he has the whole argument summed up. Your wife likely will never understand the damage she's causing by refusing to tolerate something she honestly feels is disgusting. Asking her to do otherwise is like asking her to come back from somewhere she has never been ... it's just this side of impossible.

Why not apologize, send her some flowers and try to carry on a bit more discreetly? I imagine you have other places where you can wear a wet diaper besides wherever you drink coffee, where she's obviously bound to see.

 

[Kellycares]

I can only feel your frustration, as it sounds as though your diaper needs are as strong as mine; so, I emphasize with your difficult situation. It almost makes me feel thankful that I am single, and can meet my diaper needs without such personal encumbrances.

Sadly, my last heterosexual relationship ended just as I was beginning to wear diapers more often than not, just as the covid protocols were beginning. It was a long term, slightly long distgance relationship. He was 300 miles away, but his married daughter lives nearby to my suburb. His daughter and I did not get along to the point of extreme conflict between the three of us (her fault, LOL)! So, we called it quits.

He knew I wore “a protective undergarment” when we went out, for “bladder control issues”, but I discreetly ditched my diaper when we slept together, as I could not bring myself to tell him, in the likely fear he would not approve that I was considering putting myself in diapers full time. That also meant wearing a diaper to bed which I was already doing when we were apart. Thinking about it, “spooning” which I love, would be a bit awkward if one partner was diapered. So, you are not alone, not every situation is conducive to one partner having diaper needs, especially when the other is unaccepting of this situation. I don’t have any answers, but wish you, and your wife, a peaceful resolution to this stressful situation.

Related, since becoming totally diaper dependant, and now wearing diapers 24/7, to be forthcoming I changed my dating profile and added as a negative, "I have bladder issues and wear adult diapers as needed, just so that it is out there, up front, and not an issue to stress about revealing later. I also added I am a cigarette smoker, so i would also not have to mention that later. Since then, my replies from potentially worthy gentlemen have dwindled from 3-4 a week to almost zero. Obviously, I did not expect such negative bias, whether it is because I wear diapers and/or am a smoker, but it is something those of us adults in diapers can expect.

 

[CptKirk]

I can only feel your frustration, as it sounds as though your diaper needs are as strong as mine; so, I emphasize with your difficult situation. It almost makes me feel thankful that I am single, and can meet my diaper needs without such personal encumbrances.

Sadly, my last heterosexual relationship ended just as I was beginning to wear diapers more often than not, just as the covid protocols were beginning. It was a long term, slightly long distgance relationship. He was 300 miles away, but his married daughter lives nearby to my suburb. His daughter and I did not get along to the point of extreme conflict between the three of us (her fault, LOL)! So, we called it quits.

He knew I wore “a protective undergarment” when we went out, for “bladder control issues”, but I discreetly ditched my diaper when we slept together, as I could not bring myself to tell him, in the likely fear he would not approve that I was considering putting myself in diapers full time. That also meant wearing a diaper to bed which I was already doing when we were apart. Thinking about it, “spooning” which I love, would be a bit awkward if one partner was diapered. So, you are not alone, not every situation is conducive to one partner having diaper needs, especially when the other is unaccepting of this situation. I don’t have any answers, but wish you, and your wife, a peaceful resolution to this stressful situation.

Related, since becoming totally diaper dependant, and now wearing diapers 24/7, to be forthcoming I changed my dating profile and added as a negative, "I have bladder issues and wear adult diapers as needed, just so that it is out there, up front, and not an issue to stress about revealing later. I also added I am a cigarette smoker, so i would also not have to mention that later. Since then, my replies from potentially worthy gentlemen have dwindled from 3-4 a week to almost zero. Obviously, I did not expect such negative bias, whether it is because I wear diapers and/or am a smoker, but it is something those of us adults in diapers can expect.

Sending you a PM. Just an FYI as it's one of my "books" lol. I still never seem to be able to say everything I want to despite typing for 30+ minutes!

 

[blaincorrous]

So when I was drinking heavily which I have since gave up, I would wear a diaper at night because I would often wet the bed. My wife while not liking it at all reluctantly accepted it. But now that I can go without accidents and she knows this I am criticized every time I wear a diaper and use it at night. Just this morning I was sitting drinking coffee in my swollen diaper enjoying the swollen leg spreading crotch and my wife said that is so disgusting that you are willing to sit there in a soiled diaper. She states she will never understand it and if I continue to do it she will sleep in the other room. I love my wife and do not want us to start sleeping separately but I just wish there was some way I could get her to accept diapers at least at night. When I was seeing a counselor while I was stopping drinking the conversation came up about my diaper wearing and I was looking for support from my counselor. She cited with my wife and said if she is against it I should consider not doing it. I feel no one is on my side here and that I'm going to be pushed to quit wearing.

My therapist would say “that’s her shit, not yours”. That’s not an excuse to trample her sensibilities, but that’s not a feeling you’re responsible for. It’s hers.

If we’re to build compassion for others, we recognize the things they deal with and don’t dismiss them. Maybe you need to compromise. Maybe you need to explain to her what this need is to you. Maybe she needs to compromise. Maybe she needs some compassion for your situation.

It sounds like this has been going on for a while and it just blew up in an non-constructive manner. That’s not an effective way for her to deal.

 

[geka]

I can only feel your frustration, as it sounds as though your diaper needs are as strong as mine; so, I emphasize with your difficult situation. It almost makes me feel thankful that I am single, and can meet my diaper needs without such personal encumbrances.

Sadly, my last heterosexual relationship ended just as I was beginning to wear diapers more often than not, just as the covid protocols were beginning. It was a long term, slightly long distgance relationship. He was 300 miles away, but his married daughter lives nearby to my suburb. His daughter and I did not get along to the point of extreme conflict between the three of us (her fault, LOL)! So, we called it quits.

He knew I wore “a protective undergarment” when we went out, for “bladder control issues”, but I discreetly ditched my diaper when we slept together, as I could not bring myself to tell him, in the likely fear he would not approve that I was considering putting myself in diapers full time. That also meant wearing a diaper to bed which I was already doing when we were apart. Thinking about it, “spooning” which I love, would be a bit awkward if one partner was diapered. So, you are not alone, not every situation is conducive to one partner having diaper needs, especially when the other is unaccepting of this situation. I don’t have any answers, but wish you, and your wife, a peaceful resolution to this stressful situation.

Related, since becoming totally diaper dependant, and now wearing diapers 24/7, to be forthcoming I changed my dating profile and added as a negative, "I have bladder issues and wear adult diapers as needed, just so that it is out there, up front, and not an issue to stress about revealing later. I also added I am a cigarette smoker, so i would also not have to mention that later. Since then, my replies from potentially worthy gentlemen have dwindled from 3-4 a week to almost zero. Obviously, I did not expect such negative bias, whether it is because I wear diapers and/or am a smoker, but it is something those of us adults in diapers can expect.

I’m married, so am not looking for a relationship, but if I was a diaper wearing and a smoker your profile would jump to the top of my list.

 

[Jorelaxed]

My therapist would say “that’s her shit, not yours”. That’s not an excuse to trample her sensibilities, but that’s not a feeling you’re responsible for. It’s hers.

If we’re to build compassion for others, we recognize the things they deal with and don’t dismiss them. Maybe you need to compromise. Maybe you need to explain to her what this need is to you. Maybe she needs to compromise. Maybe she needs some compassion for your situation.

It sounds like this has been going on for a while and it just blew up in an non-constructive manner. That’s not an effective way for her to deal.

well said!, it's about compromising 50/50 fair and square, a couple should not try to control or dominate one another but compromise, like it says in good times and bad.
Having a sit down and being straight forward honest is the best, or at least going in the right direction.

 

[Forced]

“I have bladder issues and wear adult diapers as needed, just so that it is out there, up front, and not an issue to stress about revealing later. I also added I am a cigarette smoker, so i would also not have to mention that later.

Will you marry me?

 

[Richard101]

I can only feel your frustration, as it sounds as though your diaper needs are as strong as mine; so, I emphasize with your difficult situation. It almost makes me feel thankful that I am single, and can meet my diaper needs without such personal encumbrances.

Sadly, my last heterosexual relationship ended just as I was beginning to wear diapers more often than not, just as the covid protocols were beginning. It was a long term, slightly long distgance relationship. He was 300 miles away, but his married daughter lives nearby to my suburb. His daughter and I did not get along to the point of extreme conflict between the three of us (her fault, LOL)! So, we called it quits.

He knew I wore “a protective undergarment” when we went out, for “bladder control issues”, but I discreetly ditched my diaper when we slept together, as I could not bring myself to tell him, in the likely fear he would not approve that I was considering putting myself in diapers full time. That also meant wearing a diaper to bed which I was already doing when we were apart. Thinking about it, “spooning” which I love, would be a bit awkward if one partner was diapered. So, you are not alone, not every situation is conducive to one partner having diaper needs, especially when the other is unaccepting of this situation. I don’t have any answers, but wish you, and your wife, a peaceful resolution to this stressful situation.

Related, since becoming totally diaper dependant, and now wearing diapers 24/7, to be forthcoming I changed my dating profile and added as a negative, "I have bladder issues and wear adult diapers as needed, just so that it is out there, up front, and not an issue to stress about revealing later. I also added I am a cigarette smoker, so i would also not have to mention that later. Since then, my replies from potentially worthy gentlemen have dwindled from 3-4 a week to almost zero. Obviously, I did not expect such negative bias, whether it is because I wear diapers and/or am a smoker, but it is something those of us adults in diapers can expect.Must be the smoking that puts people off

I can only feel your frustration, as it sounds as though your diaper needs are as strong as mine; so, I emphasize with your difficult situation. It almost makes me feel thankful that I am single, and can meet my diaper needs without such personal encumbrances.

Sadly, my last heterosexual relationship ended just as I was beginning to wear diapers more often than not, just as the covid protocols were beginning. It was a long term, slightly long distgance relationship. He was 300 miles away, but his married daughter lives nearby to my suburb. His daughter and I did not get along to the point of extreme conflict between the three of us (her fault, LOL)! So, we called it quits.

He knew I wore “a protective undergarment” when we went out, for “bladder control issues”, but I discreetly ditched my diaper when we slept together, as I could not bring myself to tell him, in the likely fear he would not approve that I was considering putting myself in diapers full time. That also meant wearing a diaper to bed which I was already doing when we were apart. Thinking about it, “spooning” which I love, would be a bit awkward if one partner was diapered. So, you are not alone, not every situation is conducive to one partner having diaper needs, especially when the other is unaccepting of this situation. I don’t have any answers, but wish you, and your wife, a peaceful resolution to this stressful situation.

Related, since becoming totally diaper dependant, and now wearing diapers 24/7, to be forthcoming I changed my dating profile and added as a negative, "I have bladder issues and wear adult diapers as needed, just so that it is out there, up front, and not an issue to stress about revealing later. I also added I am a cigarette smoker, so i would also not have to mention that later. Since then, my replies from potentially worthy gentlemen have dwindled from 3-4 a week to almost zero. Obviously, I did not expect such negative bias, whether it is because I wear diapers and/or am a smoker, but it is something those of us adults in diapers can expect.

Must be the smoking that puts people off Can't think what else!

 

[Diaperman95]

Is it what she signed up for.. or is it something you keep forcing on her?
Glad you gave up drinking as drinking to the point you needed diapers is a bit extreme to say the least.

What has changed any Kids in the house now or what? Are you wearing them until they leak all over the bed she is in with you? Sounds like you guys need to talk. Unless she signed up to marry a dude that would get drunk every night and wear a diaper to bed every night. Did you do all this when yo swept her off her feet or did you spring it on her the years after tying the knot?

Talking to her about these things and not us is going to yield the best results..

Also 24/7 diapers is so stupid expensive. Could some of that be the issue.

I would just talk . Let her know all she means to you. Then let her know what your diapers mean to you without shoving them in her face. Maybe she just said what she said to see what you would choose.


Best wishes

 

[furry121]

So when I was drinking heavily which I have since gave up, I would wear a diaper at night because I would often wet the bed. My wife while not liking it at all reluctantly accepted it. But now that I can go without accidents and she knows this I am criticized every time I wear a diaper and use it at night. Just this morning I was sitting drinking coffee in my swollen diaper enjoying the swollen leg spreading crotch and my wife said that is so disgusting that you are willing to sit there in a soiled diaper. She states she will never understand it and if I continue to do it she will sleep in the other room. I love my wife and do not want us to start sleeping separately but I just wish there was some way I could get her to accept diapers at least at night. When I was seeing a counselor while I was stopping drinking the conversation came up about my diaper wearing and I was looking for support from my counselor. She cited with my wife and said if she is against it I should consider not doing it. I feel no one is on my side here and that I'm going to be pushed to quit wearing.

Find a different therapist they're no good