Why is this bothering me?

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MandyBear

MandyBear

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I guess would be the best place to post this.

Maybe this is just me being me, over thinking and worrying about things I shouldn't be.
Maybe its because of the recent events between my friends and I.
I seem to be thinking about all this a lot lately as I try to find my place and who I am.

So earlier today I got hungry, lunch time and all so I decide to make something.
I could have had a hamburger, chicken, pasta, a salad. I could have ordered takeout, gotten fast food, basically anything that would have resembled a normal, even if not healthy, meal an adult would eat.
But no, instead I made myself two sandwiches, a Peanut butter n jelly and a cream cheese n jelly, and some pears for desert. IDK, it just sorta happen and I wasn't thinking much about it till I was eating my pears when it hit me. That WTF?!? moment.

A PBnJ, glass of milk and a cup fruit. Something I've probably served to my nieces/nephews IDk how many times when they were growing up. So, ya, here I am eating a lunch better suited for a 10 yr old then an adult. Not to mention I didn't eat it sitting at a table, no, I ate it sitting on my couch "Indian style" ya I know, I'm old, lol, aimlessly watching TV while still in my fluffy pink PJ pants with pink n purple stars on them. (I got them in the Jrs section, don't judge me, lol).
Because "work from home" days = working in my Pajamas most times, lol. Like you wouldn't if you could. :)

So again, all these seemingly unconnected things once again have come crashing together to make me sit here and wonder WTF? and further question and doubt myself as if I'm not already getting enough of that from the people around me.

IDK, you tell me. :)
 
Seems like to me, that you can't make up your mind, maybe? I am not sure what to say. Sorry, it seems like you would have to figure this out, I'm kinda confused what to say....

- - - Updated - - -

how is everyone doing?
 
Did you enjoy your lunch or maybe more to the point - were you enjoying it before thinking about it?

Then I don't see any problems.
 
BabyDenise said:
Did you enjoy your lunch or maybe more to the point - were you enjoying it before thinking about it?
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Yes I was enjoying it.
I have just become rather consumed by all of this as of late in no small part to my friends.

Maybe reading this might help shed some light on whats been going on in my head lately.
Did you enjoy your lunch or maybe more to the point - were you enjoying it before thinking about it?[/QUOTE]

Yes I was enjoying it.
I have just become rather consumed by all of this as of late in no small part to my friends.

Maybe reading this might help shed some light on whats been going on in my head lately. [URL="http://www.adisc.org/forum/entry.php/10185-Where-do-I-really-fit-in"]My current blog entry :) Thanks
 
What it sounds like to me is that you weren't going any particular direction, so your inner child took over and picked for you. Happens to me all the time. You know how cranky kids get when they're really hungry.
 
AshikagaNatsumeHime said:
What it sounds like to me is that you weren't going any particular direction
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Well it wasn't like I was being indecisive about what to eat, I was hungry and that's what ended up happening.
IDK, maybe you are right. Confusion is not a good look on me, lol.
 
Nothing wrong with switching up the eating routine. Maybe you have good memories from then?
 
That has to do with conventions or customs that we grow up with. You see, I grew up, like most people I would guess, always eating cereals or bread at breakfast and a meat and/or fish meal at lunch and dinner. And that becomes our standard. And there are a lot of pratices, customs as well as concepts and ideas that we acquired that we don't ever challenge or question.

What made you think that about this particularly meal that you made is that it doesn't conform with the norm as far a lunch meal goes. The interesting part is that if you were vegetarian or gave up eating meat those sandwiches you made actually fits that particular standard.
 
Fraldinhas said:
What made you think that about this particularly meal that you made is that it doesn't conform with the norm as far a lunch meal goes.
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No, it was just sandwiches. Nothing wrong with a sandwich for lunch, if it were ham n cheese, tunafish or something like that I'd probably not have given it another thought.
And it's not like I'm saying adults are banned from enjoying a PBnJ, it was not just the sandwich, but the whole picture.
How I happen to be dressed at the time, PJs, cami, the sandwich, the HK cup, everything.

PS: I just love the Han avatar :)
 
This sort of thing happens to me all the time. The other day I went to watch the news and ended up watching the kids channel

Life is to short to be unhappyGrow up!! ​
 
Anna said:
This sort of thing happens to me all the time. The other day I went to watch the news and ended up watching the kids channel

Life is to short to be unhappyGrow up!! ​
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That is true anna, and I agree.
 
Anna said:
This sort of thing happens to me all the time.​
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Thanks Anna :)
 
I think you're so bothered by it because you, as you say in your blog post, are struggling to work out where you fit in/what label applies to you, and this seems like 'evidence' for one thing - but then you're also questioning how much it /really/ means.

Here's what I will say: the thing that determines if you're a 'little' or an 'AB' is how much you identify with that label... whether /you/ choose to use it! For instance, there are people on here who wear adult diapers, who love being caretakers IRL most of the time, but who sometimes enjoy a pacifier or RPing as a little kid online. Some people would consider themselves 'littles' based on that, no matter how small the interest in ageplay. Some people would consider themselves 'just' DLs, because that's such a small part of themselves.

It's similar to being gay/straight/bisexual - say you're a woman, and you're usually attracted to women, only want relationships with women, but very rarely feel like having sex with a man or feel attraction to a man, you might choose to identify as gay (because your feelings for men are insignificant to you compared to your want to have a lifelong female partner), or you might identify as bisexual (because the feelings you have for men, no matter how small, are still part of who you are). So, to give a probably unhelpful answer, only you can decide if you identify as a little/AB or not.

One thing I will say is that absolutely nothing you've said, anywhere, that I can find, means you're /not/ a little. You enjoy being childish, you like stuffed animals, you shop in the juniors' section... You mention that you don't feel like a little girl or want to be/act like one. But there's many people who consider their 'little' side just them in a diaper, with a bottle of warm milk and a pacifier - no need for 'feeling like a child', just an adult expressing some childish interests.

I'd also like to point out that different communities have wildly different ideas of what being 'little' means. Here on ADISC, we tend to use it to mean 'person who's child persona is older than a baby', while out in the wild it's more of a blanket term - and in some places means simply 'a (possibly childish) submissive who wants a more parental, nurturing Dom'.

I've gotten into arguments with members of the DDLG community before when they steadfastly insisted that 'ageplay littles' and 'DDLG littles' were completely different things. I still believe that elitism or insisting on separation between our communities is ridiculous - but I do think their image of what a little is is probably closer to what you're describing? Perhaps you're not really interested in roleplaying that you're a child - but you want to be submissive, and guided by someone paternal and dominant, while also expressing childish tendencies?
 
Enjoy your PB and Jay!!!
 
CharliePup said:
I think you're so bothered by it because you?
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Grrr, to much to say! Must send PM, but I can't cause your box is full! :(


*** Update ***
CharliePup said:
You enjoy being childish, you like stuffed animals, you shop in the juniors' section... You mention that you don't feel like a little girl or want to be/act like one.
- no need for 'feeling like a child', just an adult expressing some childish interests.

I've gotten into arguments with members of the DDLG community before when they steadfastly insisted that 'ageplay littles' and 'DDLG littles' were completely different things.
but I do think their image of what a little is is probably closer to what you're describing?
Perhaps you're not really interested in roleplaying that you're a child - but you want to be submissive, and guided by someone paternal and dominant, while also expressing childish tendencies?
Click to expand...

Well, the Juniors section is still "grown up" clothes, lol. When I think of the Women's section, I think of (bad) pantsuits or my mom, lol. I know people older then me that still shop Juniors.
BUT! The Kids section, ya I think that's more of what you meant. I get it and agree.

I do have a friend who regularly shops in the kids section. Being 4'11 and a size 00/0 she is sometimes sorta forced to. Its done out of necessity, not really an enjoyment, for her though. But its nice to have someone in there with me :)

****** After writing more about your other points I realized it was getting way too long and also sorta tied in with something else I'm in the middle of writing. So I'll put the rest in another blog post real soon! Thanks!
 
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