When anxiety hits you in the face

[BenTennyson]

Little feelings bleeding into reality
Best way to describe what is currently going on inside me.
Two days ago, we had the kids of our friend here again and we had a great time.
She has two girls and one boy, the latter names Tyler.
Of course there was some crying now and then. When I saw Tyler sitting alone in a corner, nobody taking notice I went and comforted him. This seemed to have triggered something inside me. I don't know what it is but since that day I am experiencing anxiety and emotional flashbacks. This scares me to death.
Same day when I tugged my oldest girl into bed, she told me about her own anxiety, how she is afraid of the dark and figures in the shadows.
I couldn't help it. I started to cry at her side. I literally felt what she feels in that very moment and it remembered me of myself at her age.
I think that must have been one of the worst reactions you could possibly have in such a situation. Kind of selfish to mourn at myself when SHE is the one needing comfort. But how on earth could I possibly help her about that when I even can't help myself?
I told her that everyone in this house is loving her from deep inside our hearts and that nothing and no one can harm her when she is at home.
I don't know how credible I appeared; she must have felt my own anxiety as well.

Couldn't concentrate on my job today. I was afraid of my collegues, although I know every single one of them. Couldn't let anyone near me.
Never felt something like that before.
Worst thing was though, when department chief wanted to shake hands. Usually I can ignore my repulsive feelings against touching to show good manners but not today.

~edit
I just realized that this should have gone into the mature topics subforum. Posted here since this is related to my regressions. Sorry

 

[Sassypants]

As a severe anxiety/ panic attack sufferer myself, I've always been taught to divert myself. Use breathing techniques to lower your heart rate, and wiggle your toes and focus on that sensation. Reason being with the feet is, your brain will focus on that and move your mind from its anxious pathway.
There is also a more "extreme" method, where you have a rubber band or hair tie on your wrist, and when the anxiety gets out of hand you snap it relatively hard. This sends a quick pain signal to the brain which totally interrupts the anxious thoughts. Pain signals, ALWAYS take priority in the brain.
Just some food for thought.

I hope your day improves!!!!
Stay strong ☺

 

[BenTennyson]

I feel kind of uncomfortable starting to inflict pain on myself again but seeing that this is a recommended technique for borderline patients as well, I will try that out.
Thank you Sassypants

 

[Sassypants]

You're very welcome!
Hope you find a happy healthy solution.


Best wishes.
☺

 

[dogboy]

I had a period of extreme panic attacks when working at a job where I could not be successful. My wife even called the EMTs one night, thinking I was having a heart attack. These eventually passed, though if it doesn't, an appointment with a doctor might be in order.

As for your child, you never want to expose your fears and anxieties in front of them. My mom told me, when I was a bit older, that she was petrified of lightning and thunder. Once they adopted me, she worked very hard not to show me that fear so that I wouldn't be afraid. She actually was quite successful. She would tell me how beautiful the storm was, etc. I actually think what you said to your daughter was beautiful, so well done.

We all have our moments, and sometimes its our mortality hitting us square in the face. When that happens, you need a time out, so to speak. Like Sassypants said, try the breathing exercises. I did that and it helped. For me, I changed jobs and that helped a lot.

 

[BenTennyson]

Thanks for that reassurance. I wasn't so confident if my statement evened out my emotional reaction to some extent.
Regarding thunderstorms, I at least managed to reduce her fear of that to some degree. I too have big problems with that one but I successfully managed to hide it from her. She actually is able to admire the lightning as long as we are watching it together. She asks every time if I'd like to watch Thors cinema. Feels really nice so I see where you are coming from

Changing jobs is something I propably never could. Any replacement job would be way worse than my current one. Earning just enough to provide for a five-person family (plus cat), fixed (unlimited) employment, low stress level and 35 hour week. I realize how a change that big can lift ones spirit but I'd be nuts to throw that job into the bin. I MUST learn to cope.

 

[littleeye]

Sounds like you had tough few days. Good advice already given above - rubber band is a great trick, I do Karate for the same reason I know different things work for different people so don't want to add more advice to the pot. However know that you're not alone. I feel the way you describe often and I've read many others who have too. Take good care of yourself and keep talking.