What to do if your boyfriend likes diapers

Ninja40

Est. Contributor
Messages
47
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
I wish my wife was ok with me wearing. I think it was 5 years ago in our marriage I started wearing. I think I always liked wearing when I was younger. It was my safe place. When I started again, it took me back to my innocence before my childhood got violated. That is a whole other story. When I let her know about my like for diapers she did not like it at all. After a few years she was tolerable. I haven't worn for almost a year now. Felt shamed and guilty wearing even though I tried to do it discreetly because I knew she didn't like it. Sometimes I need to wear at night. I miss that safe and secure feeling at night. She would not like me if I bought more and started wearing again. I try to use the excuse that I almost wet the bed or tell her that she almost had to clean the sheets again. Which is true, it almost happened. And the sometimes issues of leaky gut and IBS she knows about doesn't change her mind. Sorry for the TMI. Anyway, just having struggles being without wearing. Those of you that have supporting SOs are very lucky. What I would give to feel the safety and hug feeling of a nice, soft diaper.
 

northernlass

Contributor
Messages
1
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  1. Other
can anyone help me? i got together with what i thought was a very masculine grown up man, who is also very phsyically strong and big. a few months in he told me he was submissive and into bondage and had visited a professional dominatrix for many years. he has stopped since seeing me, he says, as he is a 'one woman man'. i dont mind a bit of switching so this was ok. but then at 6 months he finally showed me a box full of nappies and rompers, dummies and bottles. i was stoned at the time, and tried to just let it sink in. since then we've had a few sexualised sessions with him wearing them. but i know he also wears them on his own for comfort which is ok in his own flat and i understand to a degree what sort of safely feeling it offers him. however our sex life has really gone off the boil and the other night he came to stay with me and asked if he could wear his diaper in bed just to sleep (ie non sexually). i was ill at the time with a cold, and didnt have much fight in me. but as the night went on i noticed i didnt want to hug him or him to hug me in his onsie and nappy. i missed the feel of his adult masculine body against me, of his powerful thighs and buttocks against mine. i've woken up feeling really sad this morning because of it. i just dont know how to tell him without upsetting him. i'm getting a sinking feeling about our relationship and he says that i dont trust him. i know he's been on online abdl sites in the past and hooked up but he wont talk about it and got very defensive about me asking. he lied about it initially. honestly i dont know whether i'm coming (i'm not) or going.
what do i do when the man i though he was just isnt really wanting to be intimate with me in a way that once made me happy but wants something very different from me. help please.
 
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Kayleigh

Est. Contributor
Messages
1,054
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Sissy
Both of you are in a tough situation. I can somewhat relate because I am in a similar situation, although with some differences.
Some things for you to think about:
Your bf’s interest (s) will not change. He is sub (with diapers) and apparently into it enough to actually go out and pay for it. Your vivid description of the masculinity you obviously like in his outward appearance most likely means that it is important for you. So that will probably not change for you.

Both of you need to come to grips with how the strengths of each of your likes and needs are not aligned. If he told you to give up how you are turned on by your view of masculinity, how would you react? If you told him to give up diapers and being sub, how would he react?

Many will recommend that you both come to some accommodation of each other’s needs and desires. But is that realistic? Speaking from my experience, a DL always wants acceptance and, if it is not received, there will always be that vacuum. Can he live with that or will he need to go elsewhere for that acceptance and can you live with that accommodation?

Can you live with your knowledge of his sub/diaper passions which do not appear to be your cup of tea? Some people can keep sex compartmentalized and just enjoy the moment. Others cannot. My wife can not do that.

Hopefully I have given you some things to think about. Sorry it is not a rosy, optimistic picture but I believe it is a realistic view.

In my case, while my DL interests pale in comparison to you bf’s, they are bothersome enough for my wife and I to begin a separation after over 40 years of marriage. To be clear, while there are other unresolved issues between my wife and I, my diapers have certainly contributed.

Good luck to both of you. Feel free to message me if you wish to chat more on this subject.
 

Kittyinpink

Est. Contributor
Messages
1,066
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Sissy
That's to complex a situation for me. I'm both DL AB and submissive in nature. Also I have exercised body due to working hard and my gardening hobby. What I can definitely tell you is myself , I will never change. Nothing will ever take away those needs. I developed from a very young age and I really think my brain is completely set on ABDL and submissive tendencies.. so if you want to make it work you will need to accept the whole package. I'm sorry for your situation in this case. There is nothing else I can say. The fact you are asking on this site shows you care and want to try. I admire you for that and I can only wish you the best.
 

Saltedcaramel64

Est. Contributor
Messages
269
Role
  1. Private
can anyone help me? i got together with what i thought was a very masculine grown up man, who is also very phsyically strong and big. a few months in he told me he was submissive and into bondage and had visited a professional dominatrix for many years. he has stopped since seeing me, he says, as he is a 'one woman man'. i dont mind a bit of switching so this was ok. but then at 6 months he finally showed me a box full of nappies and rompers, dummies and bottles. i was stoned at the time, and tried to just let it sink in. since then we've had a few sexualised sessions with him wearing them. but i know he also wears them on his own for comfort which is ok in his own flat and i understand to a degree what sort of safely feeling it offers him. however our sex life has really gone off the boil and the other night he came to stay with me and asked if he could wear his diaper in bed just to sleep (ie non sexually). i was ill at the time with a cold, and didnt have much fight in me. but as the night went on i noticed i didnt want to hug him or him to hug me in his onsie and nappy. i missed the feel of his adult masculine body against me, of his powerful thighs and buttocks against mine. i've woken up feeling really sad this morning because of it. i just dont know how to tell him without upsetting him. i'm getting a sinking feeling about our relationship and he says that i dont trust him. i know he's been on online abdl sites in the past and hooked up but he wont talk about it and got very defensive about me asking. he lied about it initially. honestly i dont know whether i'm coming (i'm not) or going.
what do i do when the man i though he was just isnt really wanting to be intimate with me in a way that once made me happy but wants something very different from me. help please.
If you feel this way, I get it. You did not sign up for it and you cant help how you feel. You want a masculine man and not an adult baby.
Would you be up for taking care of him in this way once a week? Or once a month? Would that even be enough for him? Would he be up for acting like your masculine boyfriend 90% of the time and an adult baby 10% of the time?
If you just cant see yourself playing Mommy in anyway without cringing and wishing it was over, you should probably move on. Both of you are going to feel let down and unaccepted.
 

Kittyinpink

Est. Contributor
Messages
1,066
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Sissy
If you feel this way, I get it. You did not sign up for it and you cant help how you feel. You want a masculine man and not an adult baby.
Would you be up for taking care of him in this way once a week? Or once a month? Would that even be enough for him? Would he be up for acting like your masculine boyfriend 90% of the time and an adult baby 10% of the time?
If you just cant see yourself playing Mommy in anyway without cringing and wishing it was over, you should probably move on. Both of you are going to feel let down and unaccepted.
I have to agree.. I really don't like posting anything negative on purpose , but unless northanlass can sincerely adapt to the situation it's probably best to kindly and nicely move on. We all have our kink's , all of us.. so don't forget to be understanding and try to love each other.. we are all basically the same.. sorry if I sound like a silly hippie type , but I really do believe what I wrote and I really want everyone to be happy. A world full of unhappy people is a awful world...
 

Otterpup

Est. Contributor
Messages
20
Role
  1. Other
can anyone help me? i got together with what i thought was a very masculine grown up man, who is also very phsyically strong and big. a few months in he told me he was submissive and into bondage and had visited a professional dominatrix for many years. he has stopped since seeing me, he says, as he is a 'one woman man'. i dont mind a bit of switching so this was ok. but then at 6 months he finally showed me a box full of nappies and rompers, dummies and bottles. i was stoned at the time, and tried to just let it sink in. since then we've had a few sexualised sessions with him wearing them. but i know he also wears them on his own for comfort which is ok in his own flat and i understand to a degree what sort of safely feeling it offers him. however our sex life has really gone off the boil and the other night he came to stay with me and asked if he could wear his diaper in bed just to sleep (ie non sexually). i was ill at the time with a cold, and didnt have much fight in me. but as the night went on i noticed i didnt want to hug him or him to hug me in his onsie and nappy. i missed the feel of his adult masculine body against me, of his powerful thighs and buttocks against mine. i've woken up feeling really sad this morning because of it. i just dont know how to tell him without upsetting him. i'm getting a sinking feeling about our relationship and he says that i dont trust him. i know he's been on online abdl sites in the past and hooked up but he wont talk about it and got very defensive about me asking. he lied about it initially. honestly i dont know whether i'm coming (i'm not) or going.
what do i do when the man i though he was just isnt really wanting to be intimate with me in a way that once made me happy but wants something very different from me. help please.
If this were me, I would start by having a real serious conversation with your partner. Tell him how you feel and have a conversation about what you want out of the relationship. Then have him share what he wants out of the relationship. There needs to be full honesty so you both can understand each other's point of view. Then you both will have to decide if there is a middle ground where you both can be happy, and if this something you are BOTH willing to adapt for.

Don't forget that your feelings matter too, and your partner needs to respect that. Let him know what you are and are not comfortable with. For me personally, there are some things I wasn't comfortable at first, that I am now. There are also some things that I may never be comfortable with. However, my partner and I have talked about these things many times, and he understands my boundaries.

Relationships like this CAN be very intimate and special, if both parties are willing and there is constant open communication and trust. And it sounds like you are open enough to try it out and be understanding which is a good sign!
I hope this helps.
 
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