What do you people do, when you are sick of being a guy but have to be?

[KittyninjaW]

The title says it all, I mean, I really want to be girly now but I can't be to be honest. It is annoying right now, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I just want to be a girl but I have to wait and it is so frustrating right now to wait.

 

[Kittyinpink]

I daydream Kittyninja... I daydream, I wait and one day I will live my dream... You have to work at what you need to be , definitely get some type of counciling as soon as you can , be good to yourself, and concentrate on your final goals.... you can do it!

 

[mistykitty]

i felt like what the title said for pretty much my whole life until recently, mid 2021 is when i finally accepted it as part of myself and then it still took until a few months ago to get the confidence to truly start. i've mentioned on other threads i'm in the middle of this process right now actively transitioning with hrt. some family get it others don't. the thing i'm most worried about is my next step is telling my work. i am legitimately scared of what happens when i do that i'm talking to my counselor about how to approach that one monday but my work have seen me change my hair and stuff they know somethings going on. i know i'm going to get pushback though because some of my coworkers just like to make people miserable. i feel this is the only correct path though.

more helpful advice that's, not specific to my situation though is for everyone though dealing with this it is best to not go it alone and to talk to a counselor or someone else supportive and also it is good to anticipate the positive feelings of what things will be like after everything because it gives you the confidence to take the first step. also work to try to prep yourself to respond to the feelings of going against what others expect because it's not about what's right for them or whats right by norms it's what is right for you and that matters more.

 

[Kittyinpink]

i felt like what the title said for pretty much my whole life until recently, mid 2021 is when i finally accepted it as part of myself and then it still took until a few months ago to get the confidence to truly start. i've mentioned on other threads i'm in the middle of this process right now actively transitioning with hrt. some family get it others don't. the thing i'm most worried about is my next step is telling my work. i am legitimately scared of what happens when i do that i'm talking to my counselor about how to approach that one monday but my work have seen me change my hair and stuff they know somethings going on. i know i'm going to get pushback though because some of my coworkers just like to make people miserable. i feel this is the only correct path though.

more helpful advice that's, not specific to my situation though is for everyone though dealing with this it is best to not go it alone and to talk to a counselor or someone else supportive and also it is good to anticipate the positive feelings of what things will be like after everything because it gives you the confidence to take the first step. also work to try to prep yourself to respond to the feelings of going against what others expect because it's not about what's right for them or whats right by norms it's what is right for you and that matters more.

I'm outed at work and all aspects of my life as a trans woman , I am still early in my journey. And although I have a few people at work who seriously dislike me , I didn't have any problems with work. I have discovered that most people really don't mind much , and some become a lot more friendly , and obviously some are just plain curious! I hope my experience of outing myself at work which was 100% positive will help you with outing yourself completely. I am so glad I told everyone (I actually, cleverly just told the odd gossip and let her do the rest!)

 

[mistykitty]

I'm outed at work and all aspects of my life as a trans woman , I am still early in my journey. And although I have a few people at work who seriously dislike me , I didn't have any problems with work. I have discovered that most people really don't mind much , and some become a lot more friendly , and obviously some are just plain curious! I hope my experience of outing myself at work which was 100% positive will help you with outing yourself completely. I am so glad I told everyone (I actually, cleverly just told the odd gossip and let her do the rest!)

that does actually make me feel a bit better. it's nice that a lot of them seemed pretty ok with it. i hope i get similar understanding from mine

 

[Kittyinpink]

that does actually make me feel a bit better. it's nice that a lot of them seemed pretty ok with it. i hope i get similar understanding from mine

Yes. I hope so also! Let me know how it goes! Don't forget I'm going through the same stuff , so your welcome to message me if you want to vent or anything! Good luck with it all mistykitty! (Nice name by the way!)

 

[Seasonedcitizen]

You can dress up at home at any time.

 

[KittyninjaW]

You can dress up at home at any time.

Not really, because of my brother. My brother is a jerk when he catches me crossdressing, and he doesn't like it. I haven't crossdressed or wore a diaper in a long time because of him and it makes me sad. Fortunately he is going to hopefully be in a dorm this semester, and I can start again. But, no I cannot dress up at home anytime because of my brother.

 

[stareegirl]

I am cis gender but some of my friends are trans. And from what I’ve seen generally coworkers, aquantices and friends don’t take issue
Unless of course you got a bully or bigot, in that case do your best not to engage.

Now family, family is harder. They have known you since birth. And your gender and parts of your identity are partially ingrained in their heads. And it’s natural to fight that.
But if your brother is making fun then that’s a whole another hurdle. Toxic masculinity sucks.

And lastly I know that it’s hard not to be yourself, but it’s even worse if you cut off communication with a part of yourself. So I’d urge you to atleast communicate with the feminine parts of your personality. Understanding who you are as a person and how you work will atleast give you some comfort and peace of mind.
And lastly maybe you can find some outlet like writing or drawing so you’re not entirely cooped up with yourself.

 

[Kittyinpink]

I am cis gender but some of my friends are trans. And from what I’ve seen generally coworkers, aquantices and friends don’t take issue
Unless of course you got a bully or bigot, in that case do your best not to engage.

Now family, family is harder. They have known you since birth. And your gender and parts of your identity are partially ingrained in their heads. And it’s natural to fight that.
But if your brother is making fun then that’s a whole another hurdle. Toxic masculinity sucks.

And lastly I know that it’s hard not to be yourself, but it’s even worse if you cut off communication with a part of yourself. So I’d urge you to atleast communicate with the feminine parts of your personality. Understanding who you are as a person and how you work will atleast give you some comfort and peace of mind.
And lastly maybe you can find some outlet like writing or drawing so you’re not entirely cooped up with yourself.

Nice reply! Thank you ..

 

[KittyninjaW]

I am cis gender but some of my friends are trans. And from what I’ve seen generally coworkers, aquantices and friends don’t take issue
Unless of course you got a bully or bigot, in that case do your best not to engage.

Now family, family is harder. They have known you since birth. And your gender and parts of your identity are partially ingrained in their heads. And it’s natural to fight that.
But if your brother is making fun then that’s a whole another hurdle. Toxic masculinity sucks.

And lastly I know that it’s hard not to be yourself, but it’s even worse if you cut off communication with a part of yourself. So I’d urge you to atleast communicate with the feminine parts of your personality. Understanding who you are as a person and how you work will atleast give you some comfort and peace of mind.
And lastly maybe you can find some outlet like writing or drawing so you’re not entirely cooped up with yourself.

All of that is something to consider. Thanks.

 

[MarieSue]

Shop for new panties.

 

[mikescreename]

The title says it all, I mean, I really want to be girly now but I can't be to be honest. It is annoying right now, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I just want to be a girl but I have to wait and it is so frustrating right now to wait.

I find myself bouncing around with this struggle as well.
So I do small things for myself through the day that help me. Using women's deodorant, nice smelling soap, daily body lotion, shave... a lot!, paint my toenails, use clear matte nail polish on my finger nails, boy-short style panties, tinted lip balm. I would like to wear makeup more frequently, however, being in the South right now it would all sweat off by lunch .
I do some combination of these things through my days and the week. It feels good.

 

[ScarletRoseRapier]

Easy, heavyly wear things under your clothes while you work the next day!!!

 

[Yuu]

Drink and dream about being somewhere no one cares about my choices.

 

[Kittyinpink]

Drink and dream about being somewhere no one cares about my choices.

It's ridiculous in this day and age... why not wear clothing you personally like? Nobody should care.. I have found though, that often it's myself who over judges how I look! .. I am living in a house with my mum.. I am physically a boy , but my body is slowly feminiseing.. and I wear my favourite silk nightie to bed , which my mum bought me.. and I still feel self conscious!!.. don't forget it isn't them and us , it is all of us!

 

[mistykitty]

It's ridiculous in this day and age... why not wear clothing you personally like? Nobody should care.. I have found though, that often it's myself who over judges how I look! .. I am living in a house with my mum.. I am physically a boy , but my body is slowly feminiseing.. and I wear my favourite silk nightie to bed , which my mum bought me.. and I still feel self conscious!!.. don't forget it isn't them and us , it is all of us!

What you say really is true it's not as big a thing as some make it out to be. The way I see it is who gets to tell anyone what they can and cannot do or wear and so on. anyone doing that is wrong (unless you are causing direct harm to someone which many things people get judged for sometimes do not). yes we do all share this world but we're also each our own individuals and can be not only what we want but who we are and should be accepted as such. I like you still occasionally judge myself a bit because I'm in the same boat that I have some people that understand my transitioning better than others and you're right its not just them it is as much about our thoughts as those of others. I'm going to conclude this by saying everyones differences should be embraced not rejected we should be supporting everyone and we should do our best to keep our thoughts positive it's as important to do right by ourselves and not judge ourselves as much as if not more than it is to do right by others because being who we truly are and not who others tell us to be is the true accomplishment and just makes you feel so much better because you can be you. I hope what I said made sense sorry if this was confusing to anybody.

 

[mikescreename]

What you say really is true it's not as big a thing as some make it out to be. The way I see it is who gets to tell anyone what they can and cannot do or wear and so on. anyone doing that is wrong (unless you are causing direct harm to someone which many things people get judged for sometimes do not). yes we do all share this world but we're also each our own individuals and can be not only what we want but who we are and should be accepted as such. I like you still occasionally judge myself a bit because I'm in the same boat that I have some people that understand my transitioning better than others and you're right its not just them it is as much about our thoughts as those of others. I'm going to conclude this by saying everyones differences should be embraced not rejected we should be supporting everyone and we should do our best to keep our thoughts positive it's as important to do right by ourselves and not judge ourselves as much as if not more than it is to do right by others because being who we truly are and not who others tell us to be is the true accomplishment and just makes you feel so much better because you can be you. I hope what I said made sense sorry if this was confusing to anybody.

I think you nailed it!
I've been having a very similar concept/idea lately over the last several months. It has definitely helped me feel better and reduce any self imposed shame I feel when wanting to explore and express myself.

 

[Kittyinpink]

What you say really is true it's not as big a thing as some make it out to be. The way I see it is who gets to tell anyone what they can and cannot do or wear and so on. anyone doing that is wrong (unless you are causing direct harm to someone which many things people get judged for sometimes do not). yes we do all share this world but we're also each our own individuals and can be not only what we want but who we are and should be accepted as such. I like you still occasionally judge myself a bit because I'm in the same boat that I have some people that understand my transitioning better than others and you're right its not just them it is as much about our thoughts as those of others. I'm going to conclude this by saying everyones differences should be embraced not rejected we should be supporting everyone and we should do our best to keep our thoughts positive it's as important to do right by ourselves and not judge ourselves as much as if not more than it is to do right by others because being who we truly are and not who others tell us to be is the true accomplishment and just makes you feel so much better because you can be you. I hope what I said made sense sorry if this was confusing to anybody.

When I am Really being myself I feel so much happier. I am still un-learning some of my false characteristics, because I was so scared of presenting myself as Kitty and I felt I had to hide my mannerisms and wear clothes I truly did not like.. all I have to do is relax and be natural.. sometimes I still find that difficult, my defensive nature and shy personality click in and I start acting deepening my voice etc... but I'm getting there slowly! ... I have to practice everyday not to overthink and focus on simply enjoying my day! I have had many positive experiences since I came out to literally everyone!

 

[mistykitty]

When I am Really being myself I feel so much happier. I am still un-learning some of my false characteristics, because I was so scared of presenting myself as Kitty and I felt I had to hide my mannerisms and wear clothes I truly did not like.. all I have to do is relax and be natural.. sometimes I still find that difficult, my defensive nature and shy personality click in and I start acting deepening my voice etc... but I'm getting there slowly! ... I have to practice everyday not to overthink and focus on simply enjoying my day! I have had many positive experiences since I came out to literally everyone!

Having some of the same challenges because like you I am and have always been shy by nature and I think thats part of what makes me judge myself because to often I worry to much about what others feel about me but i have been working on it and improving and in addition to those here i've gotten positives from most the people i told so far with the exception of my mom and brothers who recently went from neutral to negative. but i know who i really am and it just feels more right and makes me happier when i can be my true self. sorry i took so long to respond.