Transgender Question

[JazzBaby]

I've been struggling with this for years now. I know a lot of trans women have said that they knew since they were little that they should have been born as girls. Is that always the case or are there trans that come to realize it later on in life? I have been struggling with whether or not I'm trans for years. I only started to become interested feminine things after coming to this site, getting into wearing girl's clothes and other things. My little self has always been a little girl. I definitely wish I could wear my girl clothes more often and prefer them over my other clothes. There are many times I feel I'd be happier as a girl and get depressed about it. This is something that I've been thinking about more frequently.

 

[SissyABSamantha]

You may have strong feelings about it throughout your life but for whatever reason you couldn't do anything about it at a younger age and decide to transition late in life. There are many people in this position nowadays who repressed their true self for their whole life but only now feel able to go ahead with the transition. This could be due to societies attitude towards transgendered people which has changed mostly for the better over the decades. Also people around you like friends, family and colleagues etc who you might have felt wouldn't understand or accept that side of you in the past but might do so now. There could be any number of reasons for it. It sounds like you need to speak to a qualified counsellor who specialises in transgendered clients to help you work through those feelings.

In my own case I have always thought I should have been female from birth but not more so until later on in my teens and beyond when I first started dressing at all. It wasn't until my mid 30's though when I started fully dressing en femme and going out in public as such because of my own repressive experiences since my early teens which still continue nowadays although not as much as it was back in the 1970's & 80's. Its the fear of not being accepted as such and peoples reactions around you that prevents you from being your real self and forces you to repress those feelings which can lead to depression. This is why you need to speak to a professional to work through all of these feelings.

 

[OnePiece]

Remember that being human comes in a great variety.
You can be, do or dress as whoever or whatever you like independent of your gender.
I feel that todays society is more narrowminded than when I was young in the 80’s. If you don’t fit in the standard boy/girl category, there is something wrong with you.
I just wish there was more room to play without fast-tracking to the transitioning route.
I do not mean that is wrong to do, but it’s not the solution for everyone.
Take your time and see if you can be happy by just being yourself and do what you like.

 

[SuzetteSissy]

As a lifetime tgirl and newly female, the messages start to sound the same. BUt they are right, You need to explore the world outside of this site to learn who you are, sexually, gender wise and what will make you happy. Some find at ag20, some at 50 and some never find what that is. Of all the emotions in this life, regret is the worst. Do not have any and get in your panties, your diaper or your skirt and find out what you want. Ask questions, explore the real world with a view of moving forward and if you do that you, will find a happy place. Real life gets in the way, it always does, but if you focus on goals and not let it drift along you can achieve wonderful things. What many do but hard to stop is create a double life living in a trans or fetish dream and repressing it in a real-world life. Please try to avoid that. It is possible to get out of a double life but it surely is painful. Ask around this site and others as you explore, more info cannot be bad. Hugs Suzette

 

[Happy2BeInNappies2]

I have known all my life that I am really a girl, but unlike my younger sisters I was put into the wrong body, where as they were put into their correct bodies.
My assigned gender at birth is a mistake, but an understandable one. I have that 'thing' down there between my legs that makes me look like a male. If only it would just drop off one day and leave me able to pee like the woman that I am.

My degree of gender dysphoria has varied over my 66 years. but today I am more female in my mind, than ever before.
But what could I do as a child born in the late 1950s and growing up in the 60s and 70s?
(My parents were afraid that their (only) sissy son was gay, which was illegal at the time).

Today I am happy that I do not have to prove anything to anyone. I am at peace with my true gender.

My heart goes out to all that are struggling with their gender identity.

 

[Deleted member 73146]

I also have some gender identity issues, but I'm biologically female.
When I was little, I had short hair, and many people mistakenly thought I was a boy. Only in grade 9 I decided to get long hair. In grade 11 I even got some cosmetics and started decorating my nails.
I've been overweight and have large feet, so I had to get men's shoes starting from middle school and later men's clothes (it's harder to get plus-size women's clothes in person back where I'm from). However, I still believed I was a conservative cisgender woman.
Things suddenly changed when I came to America alone at the age of 17. I just felt strange about myself. Long story short, I changed my pronoun, joined the LGBTQ support group in my college, cut my hair short again, and put away my women's clothes. Now I only wear men's or unisex clothes (except for bras, underwears, and pajamas).
Now I consider myself non-binary but also hold a cisgender identity. In fact, most people in my life consider me as cisgender female.
I feel very sorry for people who were born with the "wrong gender".

 

[Stargazer93]

I've struggled with that question for years too, but after a long time I realized I am not a woman trapped in a man's body and I'm not just a guy that gets off on dressing in women's clothes.

The truth is I am a guy that gets satisfaction from taking on and exploring the female identity from time to time. I don't understand it and maybe never will, but am fascinated and drawn to it. And by seeing things from the female perspective helps me relate to interact with women better.

I'm also autistic so one of my special interests is seeing things from a different perspective and gender identity is one of those key areas where I like to try on a different persona.

 

[CCemma]

Hi Happy,

"My heart goes out to all that are struggling with their gender identity"


I think one of the nice things about non binary is that it challenges the idea of being one or the other - either male or female. But nothing else.

I know this is a simplification, but ...

Imagine if you were told you could only describe yourself as tall or short. How many of you would go along with it? Or would you say 'hang on, I reserve the right to be in between' ? Even if you were quite tall, or quite short?

 

[mistykitty]

I've been struggling with this for years now. I know a lot of trans women have said that they knew since they were little that they should have been born as girls. Is that always the case or are there trans that come to realize it later on in life? I have been struggling with whether or not I'm trans for years. I only started to become interested feminine things after coming to this site, getting into wearing girl's clothes and other things. My little self has always been a little girl. I definitely wish I could wear my girl clothes more often and prefer them over my other clothes. There are many times I feel I'd be happier as a girl and get depressed about it. This is something that I've been thinking about more frequently.

There is such thing as being non-binary but having an affinity to one gender over the other but as far as a more solid answer. It's different for everyone in my understanding especially based on what your living situation is like before you're independent. For myself I knew immediately something was off but though i expressed myself as having those interest it was not well accepted by people (especially my father) and I was forced to supress a bit. I was not confident to start acting on it more until late teens and then I only actually started hrt about a year ago. What I'm basically trying to say is both can be true you can know immediately or you may realize later on it's situational to some extent because some suppress it willingly others without even knowing. One thing I definitely do recommend is in addition to talking to people here reach out to some support groups and/or a counselor you might find them helpful @JazzBaby.

 

[Anemone]

Everybody experiences things differently and are subject to different experiences.

Never try to understand what you feel in terms of how you think you should feel. Your own truth is as valid as anyone's and everyone's.

 

[LadyOfTintagel]

I've been struggling with this for years now. I know a lot of trans women have said that they knew since they were little that they should have been born as girls. Is that always the case or are there trans that come to realize it later on in life? I have been struggling with whether or not I'm trans for years. I only started to become interested feminine things after coming to this site, getting into wearing girl's clothes and other things. My little self has always been a little girl. I definitely wish I could wear my girl clothes more often and prefer them over my other clothes. There are many times I feel I'd be happier as a girl and get depressed about it. This is something that I've been thinking about more frequently.

There are lots of different ways to conceptualize being trans. Personally I didn't realize till I was 23 (and then it took some heavy thinking to be sure I was sure). I don't think of myself as ever having been a boy because even before I knew, I didn't really identify with that term and mostly wore it for convenience. However, there are some people who see it differently for themselves.

For what it's worth, after having spent a lot of time among trans communities online, your story sounds... pretty standard! I don't know if that's comforting to you or not, but at the least you should know you aren't strange or abnormal. Lots of people do it the way you are.

 

[JazzBaby]

There is such thing as being non-binary but having an affinity to one gender over the other but as far as a more solid answer. It's different for everyone in my understanding especially based on what your living situation is like before you're independent. For myself I knew immediately something was off but though i expressed myself as having those interest it was not well accepted by people (especially my father) and I was forced to supress a bit. I was not confident to start acting on it more until late teens and then I only actually started hrt about a year ago. What I'm basically trying to say is both can be true you can know immediately or you may realize later on it's situational to some extent because some suppress it willingly others without even knowing. One thing I definitely do recommend is in addition to talking to people here reach out to some support groups and/or a counselor you might find them helpful @JazzBaby.

I have sometimes considered this idea as being bigender or gender fluid. I also left out in the original post that some of my immediate family have thought I'm trans for several years because I might do something girly around them. I've also never been very manly.

 

[fairlyoddbaby]

As everyone has said before the feeling of transgender is different for everyone! I myself feel like I am definitely in the wrong body and should have been born male at birth but I also at times feel genderfluid.

This is something personally that worked for me, and some trans friends. Between my friends I started asking about being referred to as another gender just to see if it was right.

This website also automatically generates sentences with different pronouns for you to try with. While I know that not all pronouns = gender this is just what personally helped me when it came to figuring it out mine. :] (like transitioning from using she/her in daily life to he/him)

Hope this helps !

 

[SissyAliceUK]

I have questioned it for years but i am thinking i am more of a fem presenting non binary.

I don't always feel the "i am am woman trapped in a mans body" feeling but i have always preferred the look of female clothing styles and from a young age i wished i could dress like a girl or look like a girl. The only more transgender feeling i have is i would much rather have a vagina as i always (even from a young age) wished i had one as i liked the smooth look better.

 

[diddles]

I am what I am
What I am I don’t think I know
Nor do I care too much now that I’m old
Be kind to others, and what you are is kind to others

 

[JazzBaby]

There are times where I get into girl headspace and am consumed with girly thoughts because it is all I want to do and I also just want to have a girl to actually talk to. Like wanting to do hair and nails and talk about boys. (I know it sounds like stereotypical teen stuff, but I've never done it.) It's just that when I get that way, the feeling I have makes me feel so happy that I just want to giggle. I don't want the feeling to end, and I want to be free to be a girl.

 

[pupizu]

My sister is MTF trans. There aren't always obvious signs. From what she told me, the only sign from when she was a kid was that she told mom "hey mom, I'm a girl". And of course mom shut that down immediately and she repressed anything related to it until more recently.

What matters is how you feel now. It is a big step to take, and if you go on HRT or anything absolutely permanent, if you change your mind going back will be very hard if not impossible. But I'm sure you know that already. Lots of trans people try socially transitioning for a long while before they do anything else.
Another common sign is gender euphoria, not just dysphoria. It just feels "right" somehow.


I'm non-binary/agenderflux. I feel mostly a LACK of gender. I don't get much in the way of dysphoria. So I don't consider myself trans, but I'm also not cis.

 

[JazzBaby]

My sister is MTF trans. There aren't always obvious signs. From what she told me, the only sign from when she was a kid was that she told mom "hey mom, I'm a girl". And of course mom shut that down immediately and she repressed anything related to it until more recently.

What matters is how you feel now. It is a big step to take, and if you go on HRT or anything absolutely permanent, if you change your mind going back will be very hard if not impossible. But I'm sure you know that already. Lots of trans people try socially transitioning for a long while before they do anything else.
Another common sign is gender euphoria, not just dysphoria. It just feels "right" somehow.


I'm non-binary/agenderflux. I feel mostly a LACK of gender. I don't get much in the way of dysphoria. So I don't consider myself trans, but I'm also not cis.

Yeah, I definitely have gender euphonia, which I guess is what I described before.

 

[Anemone]

Yeah, I definitely have gender euphonia, which I guess is what I described before.

Euphonia? Not sure if you mean euphoria - basically the opposite of dysphoria - or something else. Sorry if I'm missing something obvious...

 

[ChrisChris]

First off I highly recommend you seek therapy so that you can explore this with a professional medical expert. My personal experience is that this is caused by imprints. For me i was imprinted as a 4 year old and on through the years.