These children that are not mine.

[pdiapered]

So I kind of didn't know where to turn. So I decided to come here and asked this question. So it's a kind of a lengthy situation! I have a really good friend who has a girlfriend and we hang out a lot and she's around of course, she has two kids who in my opinion is mistreated! By her! And this upsets me to my core! I have asked my friend what he sees in her and I'm just like losing my mind because these kids are like every time I come over are running to me. I feel like it's because I'm giving them what they need love and comfort and some discipline (which is in a way different manner than what she does). She literally just screams at them and cusses even at them to do what she wants done. These kids have become very close to me andI love them very dearly and I love them even as if they were my own! I guess maybe this is more of a venting than a question but I just can't continue to watch these kids grow up in the manner that they are raised. Because these kids like I said are like my own! And I was driving home from there tonight and I was just like angry! I feel like these kids recognize what I'm giving them that they're not getting from their own mom something that they should be getting from their own mom! Maybe this is more just of a rant any advice would be nice. Maybe I should mention that also I've been very vague about this but the children are two and three and neither one of them can speak any sentences at all they just Mumble and cry. And I feel like it's because of the neglect that I have witnessed in my own eyes from the mother. It's not downright abuse but there is abuse involved and I don't know how to like address it.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Most people with kids today don't deserve kids. It was only ever about their immediate gratification, the kids are often just an unwanted consequence getting in the way of their next boy toy.

Probably shouldn't respond to this as I'm particularly sensitive and hateful of humans right now.

I was visiting family yesterday and some cold case crime murder series was streaming and one of them was a child like a 3 year old little girl where someone found a body with tiny sparkly purple velcro shoes. Really had to focus to not just throw up and finally the teddy bear on the tiny coffin did me in at the end. Stupid whore left the kid's doting father and allowed her abusive new macho control freak boyfriend to abuse and beat her toddler to death. She went along with it cause she didn't want to upset or lose HIM. Big man towering over a toddler. Give me a few months in a secluded desert bunker alone with this asshole.

Disgusting selfish humans. What is it with sex and alcohol making people stupid?

 

[claire123]

Report it to child services? They might add jn support she’s missing or if she’s just an ass hole then the kids will be removed but found loving family’s which they deserve

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Report it to child services? They might add jn support she’s missing or if she’s just an ass hole then the kids will be removed but found loving family’s which they deserve

This is tough too as too many people do foster care for the juicy government check and aren't any better.

 

[mightytoddler]

Physical abuse is seen by the scars , bruises but mental abuse is equally as devastating often lead to very ugly events later on not visible to your eyes . Same situation with a family member as I watched them grow up being terribly terribly mentally abused . Two left their household on their 18th birthday one left home at 16 . We see children living on the streets daily and many wonder why . I’ve spoken to a lot of runaways over the years and the stories all are pretty close to the same. Physical abuse , raped by family members both boys and girls or flat our mental abuse . The two that left at 18 only then could I help without causing a huge fight between family members . A missing worthless father was one ingredient that was a big one . As the years rolled on by the two that are now in their late 20s are more like my own kids there’s nothing I won’t help them achieve . I’ve sold off personal possessions to make sure their higher education happened . The other one had a child at 17 and I’ll be damed if that cycle is not repeating its self with her own child . These things require far more than you can provide you need help from child services but be prepared to catch hell for it . Even if your tossed to the curb by the parent eventually the children will find you again . Children never ever forget the few that truly loved them . It’s imprinted in their collective memory for life . I to was terribly abused both physically and mentally and my parents were quite well off . I ran away on my 17th birthday that very day I joined the US navy . My father had to sign off me because I was not 18 . He was sooooo happy to dump me so he did not suffer the coming events he so badly deserved . He wrote me in the Navy told me I’m dead to him . Even the state child protected services investigated my parents twice both times I was taken to the emergency room with obvious inflected wounds from my parents beating all 3 of us kids . My two siblings repeated that cycle later on with their own children . Both of them have suffered repeated divorces my older brother 4 failed marriages two children he flat ignored to this day. This behavior is imprinted on a child early in life and believe me wealthy parents are no exception . In fact because my own father owned two corporations child services were reluctant to act properly . There are millions that witness or are the ones abused . Why did I come out differently ? I left that cycle of abuse but believe me it haunts me to this day leaving my siblings to suffer after I left .
Find an advocate to help you figure out how to help if they can but be honest don’t fabricate evidence or get yourself in serious trouble . To many have attempted to wedge them selves between the abusers unfortunately are damaged themselves or even murdered by the abusers . Please be careful … thank you for caring at all just be cautious in your approach to help little one’s survive abuse by parents that don’t deserve children .

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Physical abuse is seen by the scars , bruises but mental abuse is equally as devastating often lead to very ugly events later on not visible to your eyes . Same situation with a family member as I watched them grow up being terribly terribly mentally abused . Two left their household on their 18th birthday one left home at 16 . We see children living on the streets daily and many wonder why . I’ve spoken to a lot of runaways over the years and the stories all are pretty close to the same. Physical abuse , raped by family members both boys and girls or flat our mental abuse . The two that left at 18 only then could I help without causing a huge fight between family members . A missing worthless father was one ingredient that was a big one . As the years rolled on by the two that are now in their late 20s are more like my own kids there’s nothing I won’t help them achieve . I’ve sold off personal possessions to make sure their higher education happened . The other one had a child at 17 and I’ll be damed if that cycle is not repeating its self with her own child . These things require far more than you can provide you need help from child services but be prepared to catch hell for it . Even if your tossed to the curb by the parent eventually the children will find you again . Children never ever forget the few that truly loved them . It’s imprinted in their collective memory for life . I to was terribly abused both physically and mentally and my parents were quite well off . I ran away on my 17th birthday that very day I joined the US navy . My father had to sign off me because I was not 18 . He was sooooo happy to dump me so he did not suffer the coming events he so badly deserved . He wrote me in the Navy told me I’m dead to him . Even the state child protected services investigated my parents twice both times I was taken to the emergency room with obvious inflected wounds from my parents beating all 3 of us kids . My two siblings repeated that cycle later on with their own children . Both of them have suffered repeated divorces my older brother 4 failed marriages two children he flat ignored to this day. This behavior is imprinted on a child early in life and believe me wealthy parents are no exception . In fact because my own father owned two corporations child services were reluctant to act properly . There are millions that witness or are the ones abused . Why did I come out differently ? I left that cycle of abuse but believe me it haunts me to this day leaving my siblings to suffer after I left .
Find an advocate to help you figure out how to help if they can but be honest don’t fabricate evidence or get yourself in serious trouble . To many have attempted to wedge them selves between the abusers unfortunately are damaged themselves or even murdered by the abusers . Please be careful … thank you for caring at all just be cautious in your approach to help little one’s survive abuse by parents that don’t deserve children .

Always the same damn cycle. Immature teens and adults high on sex drugs and alcohol full of their faux bad ass selves making more kids with zero care as long as they got another notch on their belt.

Macho young men and dead beat fathers who can't see past their next piece of ass living the fake wanna be baller life, and the dumb young dependent women who chase that shit and can't keep their clothes on for two seconds like it's a detriment to their own survival if they do.


And lost in it all are just sweet innocent babies who don't know what snuggles are.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Jason Michael Carroll Lyrics
"Alyssa Lies"

My little girl met a new friend
Just the other day
On the playground at school
Between the tires and the swings
But she came home with tear-filled eyes
And she said to me "Daddy, Alyssa Lies"

I just brushed it off at first
Cause I didn't know how much my little girl had been hurt
Or the things she had seen
I wasn't ready when I said you can tell me
And she said

[Chorus]
Alyssa Lies
To the classroom
Alyssa lies
Everyday at school
Alyssa lies
To the teachers
As she tries to cover every bruise

My little girl laid her head down
That night to go to sleep
As I stepped out the room I heard her say
A prayer so soft and sweet
God bless my mom and my dad
And my new friend Alyssa
I know she needs you bad

[Chorus]

I had the worst night of sleep in years
As I tried to think of a way to calm her fears
I knew exactly what i had to do
But when we got to school on Monday I heard the news

My little girl asked me why everybody looked so sad
The lump in my throat grew bigger
With every question that she asked
Until I felt the tears run down my face
And I told her that Alyssa wouldn't be at school today

She doesn't lie
In the classroom
She doesn't lie
Anymore at school
Alyssa lies
With Jesus
Because there's nothing anyone would do

Tears filled my eyes,
When my little girl asked me why Alyssa lies

Daddy tell me why
Alyssa lies

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Yeah I'll just be over here curled up in a wet little 200 lb ball wreaking myself.

 

[Edgewater]

Sadly, you need to separate yourself from your friend and his girlfriend as you are centered in the eye of a developing storm. If I follow correctly, there is a father or possible fathers that could be just at the outer edge.

Your 'friend' is allowing this to happen, so you need to separate yourself from him as he is allowing it (well stated above). He is no friend!

As so well stated above, you need to define what you in fact saw, understanding that verbal abuse is very hard to prove and this can blow back into your face. But, still make your report to Child Protection Services, understanding that they will be reluctant to disinterested in your report.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

What a sad, difficult situation. There is definitely no easy solution here. I see two possible responses, because a third, ignore the situation, is unthinkable.

The one response I'll call cautious concern. This is the response @Edgewater has advocated above. It is a reasonable response; there is a lot that can blow up in your face here, and there are people in every society tasked with protecting children from terrible family situations. Involving them and staying out of the situation is by far the path of least harm potential to yourself, short of the unthinkable do nothing. However, I'm going to say that I don't think its the best one, for several reasons.

The biggest one, whether CPS ignores the situation, blow it up, or investigate it and find nothing (the most likely scenario since the abuses are not physical and the kids can't talk) there will be resentment, and there's a good chance of the kids being worse off than before. If they're left in the situation it may become more hostile, and if they're not, they may well find themselves in an equally unloving situation, which is also completely devoid of familiar faces and places. Unfortunately, there's a good chance of this well-intentioned path being the path of greatest trauma for the kids, even more than doing nothing.

The course I suggest I will call the path of loving leadership. Your position in this ugly situation allows you to potentially be the difference in this situation that makes all the difference. The kids come to you for love. Keep giving it! Their step dad ish is your friend. Keep setting a good example to him for how to be a loving father figure to them, and specifically challenge him to do so, privately of course. This will do several things for her; one is to take some of the stress off of her so she can think more clearly and react less, and another is to demonstrate how to interact and the children's immense value. She may not be a completely terrible person; your friend doesn't think so, so gently, lovingly help them be better.

This is a tough situation whatever you do, but I think loving leadership is the best thing.

 

[Kirisin]

Some bruises can't be seen. I wish that someone had stood up to defend me when I was little. Yea the physical abuse sucked but the mental and emotional bruises are forever. You can report her confidentiality without giving your identity which would protect you. Eventually these kids will get to a point where they will remember. My earliest memories where when I was six. There isn't alot of time to keep those bruises from becoming permanent scars for life.