Telling your partner about being a diaper lover

[PaddedRita]

Yes - Honesty be the best !!

 

[Abdlchriscrinkle]

*Doesn't have AB tendencies*

But wears a super cute onesie in their avatar picture.



One thing you got to ask your self is can you deal with hiding this the rest of your life. If the answer is no, you have to share or you’ll never be happy.

 

[alarara]

Practice: A user above mentioned practicing in the mirror. That practice really helped me plan out and think out possible scenarios how my partner would react. It also helped me sound more confident saying those words out loud: "I" "enjoy" "wearing" "diapers" and unpacking those words (and the diapers).

Perspective taking: I might also suggest actively putting yourself in your partner's shoes insofar as what else they would want to know in learning a secret of this type. As much as I think few things are more enjoyable than wearing a diaper, this new fact could tear down some illusions your partner might have had about you. A grown person who you find sexy enjoying wearing diapers is really left field. Maybe they have questions about its role in your relationship, or who else knows about this, why you like this, how long you've been into diapers, what activities surround wearing, etc.

Honesty: Finally, honesty is key. Invite them to ask questions and answer them completely and honestly. Do not lie about anything important in order to "cushion the blow". I straight up looked my non-ABDL partner right in the eye and told him I've pooped myself on purpose several times. Maybe TMI, but he asked! If you're going to be honest, and the other person is curious to know, why lie? I'm just saying if a partner makes a leap of faith to then discover one lie somewhere in the honesty will make them skeptical.

It took me two years to spit it out to him! I was really surprised how quickly he accepted the fact in that conversation. The big scary talk took less than a half hour. What threw me off is that the initial convo was fine, but it took a bit for him to be comfortable around me actually wearing (a couple months), and then actually wetting (a year or so). It was the first step to accepting this part of me and I'm glad I shared it. Best of luck!

 

[jamie54]

Practice: A user above mentioned practicing in the mirror. That practice really helped me plan out and think out possible scenarios how my partner would react. It also helped me sound more confident saying those words out loud: "I" "enjoy" "wearing" "diapers" and unpacking those words (and the diapers).

Perspective taking: I might also suggest actively putting yourself in your partner's shoes insofar as what else they would want to know in learning a secret of this type. As much as I think few things are more enjoyable than wearing a diaper, this new fact could tear down some illusions your partner might have had about you. A grown person who you find sexy enjoying wearing diapers is really left field. Maybe they have questions about its role in your relationship, or who else knows about this, why you like this, how long you've been into diapers, what activities surround wearing, etc.

Honesty: Finally, honesty is key. Invite them to ask questions and answer them completely and honestly. Do not lie about anything important in order to "cushion the blow". I straight up looked my non-ABDL partner right in the eye and told him I've pooped myself on purpose several times. Maybe TMI, but he asked! If you're going to be honest, and the other person is curious to know, why lie? I'm just saying if a partner makes a leap of faith to then discover one lie somewhere in the honesty will make them skeptical.

It took me two years to spit it out to him! I was really surprised how quickly he accepted the fact in that conversation. The big scary talk took less than a half hour. What threw me off is that the initial convo was fine, but it took a bit for him to be comfortable around me actually wearing (a couple months), and then actually wetting (a year or so). It was the first step to accepting this part of me and I'm glad I shared it. Best of luck!

Thank you so much, this is really useful, and I’m so happy for you that your partner accepted it, I’m hoping the same thing.
I had a chat with her last night about kinks and festishes and she said she’d try anything and agreed it would be fun to introduce some new things into it, I didn’t mention diapers but it getting there slowly!

 

[alarara]

Thank you so much, this is really useful, and I’m so happy for you that your partner accepted it, I’m hoping the same thing.
I had a chat with her last night about kinks and festishes and she said she’d try anything and agreed it would be fun to introduce some new things into it, I didn’t mention diapers but it getting there slowly!

Thank you! Great idea, too! Both of you open to exploring kinks, fetishes, special flavors, etc., definitely helps lay the ground.

 

[WolfG]

I told my gf (now she's my ex), she accepted me wetting at nights and wanted me to poop. So I did, then I could even sleep with stinky butt and she liked that. I am much more to cuddle when diapered, this was her kink... My actual boyfriend don't know yet I'm into diapers.

 

[katierichards7777]

Honestly, the best thing you can do is to be right upfront with it. Don't waste their time or yours. If they love you they will accept and if not they did you a favor by moving on. Just start out by saying "Listen, I'm going to tell you something that makes me very vulnerable. There is a side of me that I need to share and hope that you do not judge

I agree with this whole-heartedly. From the outside looking in is easy, but after 3 years, if they are not going to accept all of you, then you will never be happy with them, period - full stop. If you are passionate about diapers, as it seems you may be and I certainly am due to the comfort in my life they provide me, then your partner has to be a part of that to make you truly happy. If not, you will be married to someone that you feel you have to sneak around with in order to live part of your life, and in my opinion, that is not a partnership.

I know how insanely difficult this is, and I truly wish you the best. Just because I feel you have to tell your partner (eventually) for your own happiness, doesn't mean it makes it any easier and I get that.

 

[Changes500]

Thank you so much, this is really useful, and I’m so happy for you that your partner accepted it, I’m hoping the same thing.
I had a chat with her last night about kinks and festishes and she said she’d try anything and agreed it would be fun to introduce some new things into it, I didn’t mention diapers but it getting there slowly!

Please update us when you have the talk, I’m looking forward for your success in discussing it with her. I’ve had a lot of journeys discussing it with my now fiancée and one was super recent. The most important thing I’ve learned was to not hold yourself back and allow yourself to truly feel those feelings that are so hard to express to others. I had the easiest time writing down all my thoughts and showed my fiancée personally and something that’s very important to learn is to not to overload them with information. Allow them to come to you for questions but after you explain it to them just let them take it all in, I personally could talk for hours about my abdl side to my fiancée but it makes her burnt out after a while since she is still in the early acceptance stages. Take it slow basically but still allow yourself to have that important chat or discuss something every once in a while. Best of luck if you haven’t done the talk yet buddy

 

[DLwahoo]

So, I’ve been a DL for a long as I can remember, but recently I’ve learnt to accept it and be who I am, it took a lot to come out and tell my partner, but she was very understanding, I didn’t just say “hey like to wear diapers” I eased her into it, with an explanation about kinks, and accepting yourself. She loves me and wasn’t phased by it, asked a lot of questions, and now I can wear my diaper anytime I want, some nights she asks if I need to put one on if I’m not wearing one to bed. Is she knows I get a kick out out of her being involved.

 

[alfenton]

So, I’ve been a DL for a long as I can remember, but recently I’ve learnt to accept it and be who I am, it took a lot to come out and tell my partner, but she was very understanding, I didn’t just say “hey like to wear diapers” I eased her into it, with an explanation about kinks, and accepting yourself. She loves me and wasn’t phased by it, asked a lot of questions, and now I can wear my diaper anytime I want, some nights she asks if I need to put one on if I’m not wearing one to bed. Is she knows I get a kick out out of her being involved.

That is so great I wish every one could have that response.

 

[TabaCrate]

It's probably much too late but I recommend to read the book "You're not Broken" from Dr Rhoda-Lipscomb.
It help to accept who you are and after taht you feel less (or non) guilty, less (or no) shame, ... And if I remember, there is a special chapter dedicated to partners...

Dr Rhoda Lipscomb is our "Diaper Doctor"... She is probably the one that helps us the more in the Psychology world.

I made my "coming-out" early in my relation decades ago and it didn't went fine. It was not "bad" but I did a lot of mistakes I would not do anymore.

 

[littlemoosey]

Dejavu all over again.

This topic needs to be in a sticky thread.

 

[DPLuvAB]

Dejavu all over again.

This topic needs to be in a sticky thread.

I'd love to see a sub under another group or an individual group just for relationships, coming out, advice, etc. Sticky some of the Best advice from over the years and have a place for all these topics to be together and not get buried for when people are looking for similar situations.

 

[jamie54]

Would be good to hear of other peoples stories on this subject?

 

[ElPulpo]

Would be good to hear of other peoples stories on this subject?

Not sure if I can add much to what has been said already, but I'll try.

I'm a pure DL without AB tendencies and don't even own a cute onesie (only boring ones complying with the office dress code), which in my case was a good thing as my wife seems to accept DL easier than AB. She's supportive and tolerant, but does not participate. In retrospect, it may not have been necessary to proceed as cautious as I did, but anyhow, these were my steps, as I remember:

First, we talked about how I like softness around my crotch because I like the feelings around that area. As a child, when I barely had access to diapers, I used to put my blanket between my legs, enjoying its cuddly presence. From there, I told her that for the same reasons, the memory of wearing diapers have always been pleasant and continue to be. I compared diapers with a plushie you can wear. I also mentioned the practical side of not needing a bathroom in certain situations, which she immediately accepted as logical.

I've worn around her a few times and she didn't mind, but sometimes patted my bum, so I guess it's really no big deal. My main obstacle are our children, otherwise I would wear more often than I do.

Good luck.

 

[jamie54]

Not sure if I can add much to what has been said already, but I'll try.

I'm a pure DL without AB tendencies and don't even own a cute onesie (only boring ones complying with the office dress code), which in my case was a good thing as my wife seems to accept DL easier than AB. She's supportive and tolerant, but does not participate. In retrospect, it may not have been necessary to proceed as cautious as I did, but anyhow, these were my steps, as I remember:

First, we talked about how I like softness around my crotch because I like the feelings around that area. As a child, when I barely had access to diapers, I used to put my blanket between my legs, enjoying its cuddly presence. From there, I told her that for the same reasons, the memory of wearing diapers have always been pleasant and continue to be. I compared diapers with a plushie you can wear. I also mentioned the practical side of not needing a bathroom in certain situations, which she immediately accepted as logical.

I've worn around her a few times and she didn't mind, but sometimes patted my bum, so I guess it's really no big deal. My main obstacle are our children, otherwise I would wear more often than I do.

Good luck.

This is amazing, thank you. Does your wife have any kinks/fetishes of her own or not? It’s amazing how she’s been accepting of it.

 

[ElPulpo]

This is amazing, thank you. Does your wife have any kinks/fetishes of her own or not? It’s amazing how she’s been accepting of it.

I usually refer to her as being more vanilla than 4-Hydroxy-3-methoxybenzaldehyde.

 

[Subtlerustle]

I usually refer to her as being more vanilla than 4-Hydroxy-3-methoxybenzaldehyde.

Lol. I got one of those too.

 

[jamie54]

Lol. I got one of those too.

Ahhh mine is the same haha! Have you told you partner, if so, how did they take it?

 

[Subtlerustle]

Ahhh mine is the same haha! Have you told you partner, if so, how did they take it?

Initially poorly but fine now. Im wearing in bed as a type so it’s all good now with some mutual boundaries in place.