Talking

[weethepeople]

G'day all. How easy is it for you to discuss your own incontinence with others outside family ? For a long time it was very difficult for me and caused me more problems I'd suggest over time . For a long time I never told anybody and basically suffered in silence unless I brought it up at the occasional doctor visit firstly on Mum's insistence while she was still with us .
Since I've been on my own (1990) for a long time nothing changed.. One day in 2016 my neighbour invited me over for a regular cup of tea and during the conversation she was talking about her depression battle . During the talk Kate said that her doctor put her on anti depressants early on and all she got out of it was a bit of bedwetting ..She shocked me how easily she told me that . Before I realized I blurted out that I was a bedwetter too and still was . I told her about my circumstances over probably half an hour . She was a great listener and I suddenly understood and recalled the old saying ..A problem shared is a problem halved .
Then she hoed into me a bit and made me promise to start seeking medical help again . I soon organized a visit to the continence clinic at out local hospital and a few follow up appointment or two over the next year ..Same thing there and the continence nurse I had was like Kate and talked openly and honestly , gave me things to do including lifestyle and diet changes and a visit to a urologist in 2017.
Since then a close friend at work . She suggested that I talk to our supervisor just in case I have an accident at work and need to deal with it . I had a PDP meeting with her soon after that and ended up telling her after that finished . I do carry stuff to work these days as a back up . Only needed it once so far.
Love to know how you all sit with talking to both family and non family about your incontinence issues . Not taking full page ads about mine but suggest its not a bad thing to share issues with the right people eh !...Cheers..

 

[Pongoandperdi15]

I'm a good judge of character and I scope things out so I share with those who I know I can trust and don't say a word to those who I know I can't. Over the years I've become very open about my issue and on one occasion it's been helpful to one person who needed to get support for their partner. I find it's easier to be honest about my problem, if you hide it and people find out then usually it doesn't end well for you and you have to spend a lot of time digging your self out of a hole.

 

[weethepeople]

I'm a good judge of character and I scope things out so I share with those who I know I can trust and don't say a word to those who I know I can't. Over the years I've become very open about my issue and on one occasion it's been helpful to one person who needed to get support for their partner. I find it's easier to be honest about my problem, if you hide it and people find out then usually it doesn't end well for you and you have to spend a lot of time digging your self out of a hole.

Absolutely... Thanks for your comment ..

 

[Napincolove]

A few years ago I visited the continence nurse, it was just a routine visit just to keep the nurse up to speed with how things are.
She was really nice and I ended up telling her all about my issues both Bladder and Bowel, I have never discussed Bowel issues before and I am glad I opened up about it as she offered lots of sensible advice and I benefited from the whole discussion.

 

[Edgewater]

Really short; 45 years ago I was in a serious car crash and as a result became 24/7, U-IC. I came home with the traditional hose and bag, after it leaked badly, my dear wife gathered several flat cloth diapers from our infant son's room and with drug store plastic pants, she diapered me. I have worn diapers ever since. Near everyone knew, after all near everyone heard about the crash, Family, Friends, and Cohorts. That first day in diapers, she lead her guys out the front door for a walk and although shocking then, no one noticed or just didn't care.

All those year's later, I full accept that I am 24/7, U-IC and speak with ease regarding my wearing likely because of that first day out and about with a clearly evident diaper, and no one cared. The only thing different today, is people are now contacting me and asking me about their or a family members IC.

Enjoy, life is way too short not too!!

 

[Wetshisbed]

Honestly I don't mind talking about it. I prefer it to be out in the open and not a secret.

 

[Pino]

I only talk to medical personal about it, this is not really an issue. Sometimes it can be a little embarrassing, because most of my doctors are female, but i think they do have a better understanding than most male doctors out there. Most nurses are completely relaxed about it and appreciate it when you do everything you can by your self but ask for help when really needed.
Never had somebody else telling me about incontinence so far.

 

[Freddie07601]

Honestly I don't mind talking about it. I prefer it to be out in the open and not a secret.

You inspire me.

 

[greatlake5]

I don't really talk about it unless I'm discussing my health to the medical team or perhaps my family and my partner. For myself I just prefer to keep my information private. I believe most IC people don't share. I've always been IC. And I'm comfortable about having to wear a diaper. But I just don't think it's something that is so personal to discus. There is no reason to share others about the underwear I wear. If someone who I don't know wants to discus my personal medical issues I simply tell them it's non of my business. I have talked to really close friends about me being IC. I try to give them a clear explanation. And that's about the end of it. If they have more questions I answer them if I can. I know that some people are curious. Most people respect me for asking about diapers. So I tell them. Other then that, I simply leave it alone.

 

[daylight]

A few years ago I visited the continence nurse, it was just a routine visit just to keep the nurse up to speed with how things are.
She was really nice and I ended up telling her all about my issues both Bladder and Bowel, I have never discussed Bowel issues before and I am glad I opened up about it as she offered lots of sensible advice and I benefited from the whole discussion.

I feel talking to a medical doctor/nurse/staff is a lot easier than conversationally with a neighbor/coworker. One has your best interests in helping, the other is possibly self-serving and not governed by professional ethics. Exceptions apply.

 

[EcoIncon]

I have a hard time talking to anyone about (this board is my one useful way to discuss this ). I have trouble discussing with my wife, my medical team, and the few family and friends that know. Talking about it doesn't really help. I don't get much useful information out of it and I just feel vulnerable and broken. It might be different if I knew more than one person IRL that struggles with this but y'all are the only people I've got to discuss this with. Thanks to all of you for listening and for the advice you give.

 

[daylight]

I have a hard time talking to anyone about (this board is my one useful way to discuss this ). I have trouble discussing with my wife, my medical team, and the few family and friends that know. Talking about it doesn't really help. I don't get much useful information out of it and I just feel vulnerable and broken. It might be different if I knew more than one person IRL that struggles with this but y'all are the only people I've got to discuss this with. Thanks to all of you for listening and for the advice you give.

I am glad you find comfort in discussing it here, and it affords you an opportunity to voice your frustration and concerns AND find support.

 

[SparkyDog]

I have zero issues discussing it
but it's usually uncomfortable for others so I don't bother
I always get the same response anyway
what about medications? surgery? second or third opinion?
must be something you can do so you don't have to wear diapers?

 

[EcoIncon]

I have zero issues discussing it
but it's usually uncomfortable for others so I don't bother
I always get the same response anyway
what about medications? surgery? second or third opinion?
must be something you can do so you don't have to wear diapers?

Though I am very glad you are able to discuss it, the reasons you cite are several that cause me to hate discussing it.

 

[Zefrield]

I treat it the same as I would on what color underwear I’m wearing… no one cares nor do they wish to know, so I pretty much keep it to myself. If I have an accident I take care of it immediately and move on with the day. But like most of us, I come here and read what others share because they understand and somehow that brings comfort.

 

[weethepeople]

I treat it the same as I would on what color underwear I’m wearing… no one cares nor do they wish to know, so I pretty much keep it to myself. If I have an accident I take care of it immediately and move on with the day. But like most of us, I come here and read what others share because they understand and somehow that brings comfort.

Thanks for all the replies guys ...Really good to see answers to my question.. One of my dear friends is a much younger female .. She is a wife , mum and great listener.. We work together a lot of the time . Over the past few weeks I haven't been wetting in my sleep as much so over the last couple of weeks I've not been using a nappy to sleep in .. Just my night shirt, nothing else ..A few days ago however I saturated my bed again unfortunately and didn't even know until I woke up..Usually do because being wet wakes me ..The next night I hardly slept so stayed dry but on the third night it happened again but worse and again I didn't know til I woke in the morning ...It scared me a bit .. My friend has a condition called Fibro Myalgia which is painful and exhausting and requires constant monitoring and treatment . Sound familiar ? She talks to me about that including a strict diet that is hard to imagine for some of us and she appreciates my support when she's battling a fibro attack . Same here when my incontinence gets me down . She's there for me as a friend , Yesterday as it happens , even though we are on holidays I texted her and told her about not waking when wet etc.. and we spoke via text over a good few messages .. It helped a lot to talk to her and she revealed that her son was an undiagnosed breech and for ages after birth she was incontinent too...She never mentioned that before .
I managed to find my old bedwetting alarm yesterday , put two batteries in it..tucked the probe inside my nappy last night and was woken at 2.20 am with the sound .. It's only a $35 EBAY special , not a new fangled wireless one at considerably more cost but it woke me . A while back I noted that they make them with monitoring for carers of old people now so if they wet the alarm signal can be sent to a carer immediately ..
Talking is good ....Ann helped me , I know my words help her when she has to deal with fibro ...all okay .. In a couple of weeks I have a visit to our new doctor and will be mentioning my incontinence again like I have with a couple of our other resident physicians . I'll talk and hope she listens in case there is something new out there eh... Thanks again ...

 

[Edgewater]

Thanks for all the replies guys ...Really good to see answers to my question.. One of my dear friends is a much younger female .. She is a wife , mum and great listener.. We work together a lot of the time . Over the past few weeks I haven't been wetting in my sleep as much so over the last couple of weeks I've not been using a nappy to sleep in .. Just my night shirt, nothing else ..A few days ago however I saturated my bed again unfortunately and didn't even know until I woke up..Usually do because being wet wakes me ..The next night I hardly slept so stayed dry but on the third night it happened again but worse and again I didn't know til I woke in the morning ...It scared me a bit .. My friend has a condition called Fibro Myalgia which is painful and exhausting and requires constant monitoring and treatment . Sound familiar ? She talks to me about that including a strict diet that is hard to imagine for some of us and she appreciates my support when she's battling a fibro attack . Same here when my incontinence gets me down . She's there for me as a friend , Yesterday as it happens , even though we are on holidays I texted her and told her about not waking when wet etc.. and we spoke via text over a good few messages .. It helped a lot to talk to her and she revealed that her son was an undiagnosed breech and for ages after birth she was incontinent too...She never mentioned that before .
I managed to find my old bedwetting alarm yesterday , put two batteries in it..tucked the probe inside my nappy last night and was woken at 2.20 am with the sound .. It's only a $35 EBAY special , not a new fangled wireless one at considerably more cost but it woke me . A while back I noted that they make them with monitoring for carers of old people now so if they wet the alarm signal can be sent to a carer immediately ..
Talking is good ....Ann helped me , I know my words help her when she has to deal with fibro ...all okay .. In a couple of weeks I have a visit to our new doctor and will be mentioning my incontinence again like I have with a couple of our other resident physicians . I'll talk and hope she listens in case there is something new out there eh... Thanks again ...

So, why are you not wearing at night? Removing all the bedding and washing and drying and then remaking the bed is a ton of time and expensive as most Wash Machines and Dryers are not great at doing it all in one big supper load! With great luck, you have a protective (plastic) cover for your bed and you are using a pad between you and the lower sheet, right!!

Waking-up to an alarm is not an answer as they only response to the flow of urine and you have a nappy on anyway, right? The goal is to get a full nights sleep!

 

[weethepeople]

So, why are you not wearing at night? Removing all the bedding and washing and drying and then remaking the bed is a ton of time and expensive as most Wash Machines and Dryers are not great at doing it all in one big supper load! With great luck, you have a protective (plastic) cover for your bed and you are using a pad between you and the lower sheet, right!!

Waking-up to an alarm is not an answer as they only response to the flow of urine and you have a nappy on anyway, right? The goal is to get a full nights sleep!

I do...have a mattress protector , two in fact... currently have re usable bamboo insert nappies ..all that but I need to go without them if I have a few dry nights which is great . Sounds silly but I celebrate a dry night , What is hard to deal with is not currently knowing I've wet the bed as it happens ..This is new ..Being wet would wake me but lately it isn't nappy or not . Using the bedwetting alarm again to see if that is going to help. Lying in wee or a wet nappy til the morning isn't healthy either unless you wear those big bulky and expensive disposables.. If I don't wet they are pretty useless (the ones I have anyway) to use again so trying to avoid them .. You make good points though and will keep using nappies again and the bedwetting alarm to see what happens ...Cheers..

 

[Zeke]

Discussing my incontinence and resulting 24/7 diaper wearing has become easier since becoming a member on ADISC and posting about it here. While the folks here have a better understanding and are more empathetic the experience still translates to some extent. I don’t have any personal dating or relationship experience to compare but it’s made me more open in general to talking about the diaper aspects of incontinence so I’m sure it will help when (not if, but WHEN) I’m in a relationship. The ic and 24/7 diapered revelation to a woman in my life doesn’t scare me as much as just the dating aspect since it’s something that I haven’t done in a third of a century. Well, it’s officially a new year so it’s time for a change in my relationship status so happy new year and wish me luck in finding a lady to date.

 

[NappiedTruckDriver]

Well tomorrow I start the talking path with my doctor about my issues
2024 is gonna be a fun year not