As the title states i got a question for all you "daddies" out there. I got a friend that's going through a rough spot in his marriage, and I love the guy, but it's killing me to witness this. Im one of his first friends from school (He immigrated to America when he was 14 from Ukraine during the beginning of the civil war) so naturally were close friends. We have a lot of close talks where i give my Counsel/Advise on things, and I wanted to bounce some of the things we are talking about off your heads. He and his wife have been married for about 5 or 6 months and have dated for about 2 years prior to marriage. Everything was good for a long time but life seems to be draining the life out of my friend and his wife does nothing to help. A bit of background. My buddy works anywhere from a 8-hour shift to a 10hour at a dealership as a mechanic. After work he works about 5 or 4 hours more in his shop on side work to help pay the bills. He cares for about 20 chickens, 4 cats, and a wife. From my personal view he is too bizzy but he seems to make do. This is all on a 2 acar plot of land with a 3 bedroom house and full 9 car garage shop.
The problems
The problem between him and his wife is complicated and i don't this anyone of them is truly a flat-out victim. I love both of them and i see fault in both parties. From what my buddy says his wife wont cook, clean, help pay for living expenses, or due anything that could be seen as something one might do to help the significant other out. He says she just plays on her phone when she gets home and watches tv in her free time. he says she never wants to be romantic anymore and its been like this since shortly after the honeymoon. He says he tried talking to her about helping out around the house and about how cold she has become to his touch but she is saying its his fault or she will make exuses. He says she seems to want him to be a dad and be all those things that a dad is to her. He is not that kind of guy and he wants a mature wife, but she seems to be stuck in the ways of a teenage girl.
My personal observations
From what I've seen in my time with them, ive noticed that my buddy is kind of a giver and not so much of a hugger witch might be a big deal if she is indeed a little. On that note, from what ive noticed about her is that she is definingly a little (personal opinion at first) and last night my friend confirmed that by using that terminology. Ive witnessed this little side of here multiple times. An example would be the abnormal amount of lage stuffed animals she has in there room. Another might be how in the earlier days she would cling on to my buddy like a giant support teddy bear. You could see it in how she would walk with him and how she would talk around him. My buddy told me he doesnt want to be a daddy, and that he needs help around the house, and that he loves hear but this lack of show of support and love is not ok with him. He says words are hollow without action. They've been talking but living apart now for a week or so and he says she plainly doesn't see wants wrong and has no willingness to change.
what do you guys think?
i