Question for DL's with kids

[Slomo]

TeddyBearCowboy, I did not say you were wrong for being a hypocritical. I fully get that doing what's right for someone else may sometimes be a little bit wrong for yourself. By being a hypocrite, you were being supportife, and that's a good thing. And I did commend you for being supportive didn't I?

 

[LittleMissPink]

TeddyBearCowboy, you should understand something about me. My personality type is INTJ which means I look at everything with a logical mindset if you want more info read about it online. I can't help it. It's how I am. I was never trying to start an argument or disrespect you (though now in your response you've quite the much disrespected me also).

I am not sure what it is with people on this thread and insulting me because I don't have kids. I never expected such aggression to come from you TeddyBearCowboy. Belittling me with "you don't understand" is rather getting on my nerves. I don't think you realize how much it hurts me to hear things over and over about how just because I am younger and don't have kids, that my opinion is invalid. And mocking my use of the word "hypothetical" is not helpful I meant what the word defines as. I know I don't know exactly your situation that's why I said it! Hoping you would clarify.

And as for this "be told that I did something wrong by an individual who truly has no idea whatsoever of my own circumstance just because they see things differently." Did I say you were wrong? No. Read my last paragraph again. Jeez.

The word "hypocrite" seems to have ignited a sense of anger in you Teddy and I am sorry for that. As for your question "If I were to call you a hypocrite or tell you just how wrong you were because of some action which you had shared" You might be surprised that my answer is...Thank you.
Yes I would value anyone telling me the truth (or even just what they thought was the truth) and showing me the wrongs of my ways. I have admitted many times before that I was wrong even in the middle of a heated argument because I see logically that I was wrong.
If I was a hypocrite I would be thankful for someone pointing it out because as a human I can be wrong. I have been wrong so many times in my life and had to learn so much from others I don't disregard someone calling me out because that may be exactly what I needed to hear. Our minds work differently I guess.

Srmousse actually gave the response I was looking for so thank you. " If I ever found used diapers, I would ABSOLUTELY have a talk with my kid. It would not be a lecture, scolding, or anything negative, but rather supportive and with a desire to understand. Has she been having accidents and trying to cope? Did she just find it and wanted to try? Is there something else going on, like depression?This is not at all an invasion of privacy, this is an action of caring and protection. "

See approaching it from a standpoint of say wetting the bed or depression and then finding out about your son's attractions are similar to yours accidentally, wouldn't seem hypocritical to me. Thank you for clearing that up Srmousse.

You also never even answered the question about "what makes it personal to you?", I don't know why I bother.

Look I'm done with this thread. Every time I have something to say, people take it way to personally. Even when I say things in the nicest way all I get is backlash for asking a question.

 

[littlemoosey]

:detective3

Wow, this has been a really interesting and informative thread with quite a few differing opinions to be sure.

I guess since it has begun, I will throw my own experience and viewpoints into the array of posts here. :educate:

I am a father of three children, now almost all of them young adults themselves. I have not openly shared my wearing of diapers and adult baby side with them. However, interestingly enough, some years ago I discovered that my youngest child, (now definitely not a child but yet still in high school), had an interest in diapers himself. I

discovered this through finding some used training pull ups in the trash and left over diapers from when my children had been in diapers that happened not to be my own.

This in itself is a statistical improbability, but it happened to me and my son.

So, what did I do? Did I come out and tell my son that hey, that's cool son! Dad wears them too?

You want to try some of my Aww So Cutes?

Hell no!!!

:detective3
But... Let's back up and examine this whole situation for a second.

• How many of you have felt ashamed when you were younger about wearing diapers?
• How many of you have gone through the binge and purge cycle and at times hated the fact you had this interest and at other times really wished you could be more involved and perhaps wear more often or even all the time? (and I am speaking here to those who are not incontinent, but yet have the desire to wear diapers --as this then becomes a choice, as your body doesn't physically need diapers, but perhaps psychologically you do)
• Are diapers sexual for you? I ask this as it differs across the board. For some it is a coping mechanism, some just relate to being a baby and enjoy the feeling, and others it is very sexual.

Okay Teddy, why are you asking these things?

Well... what I am trying to get at here, is that in all the research I have found, the desire to wear diapers does not have a universal reason for wanting to do so. And the purposeful wearing of them to fulfill one's desires certainly differs by culture as far as acceptance.

During my own childhood, I went through more binge and purge cycles than I can even describe. At some times, I hated myself and though I was a terrible person and wished with all of my heart that I did not have these desires. I felt dirty and ashamed. Yet despite all of my efforts, I could not rid myself of the desire to wear diapers. It was a huge burden, a secret part of me that I could not share with others due to the fear of being ostracized and considered a freak.

And this will date me, but guess what? I grew up without the internet!

OMG! Really?

Yes, really.

So finding out about being ABDL was almost non-existant, and I remember when I first discovered that I was not the only one who had these interests, and it was like a huge burden being lifted from me. I realized I wasn't alone and that others too felt these things. Thank you BitterGrey for this...

But back to being a Dad and sharing this with my children...

Before I go into the situation with my son who I found out was wearing diapers and also had this interest, let me share a few more points. :detective3

- Why would you want to share this with your children? It is something very personal, and regrettably, society still has a stigma towards it. It is something that most people think is odd and are not likely going to accept. With this in mind, what good will it do to share this with your kids? So you want them to be open-minded and not think the same as society, so you just go ahead and wear diapers around them as if it is no big deal? Well, maybe that is good for you, but for me, it is something that is very personal and not something that I believe my children need to see me doing.

As I asked the question above about it being sexual, well... for many it is, and thus just as I am not going to have sex when my children are around, I certainly am not going to be parading or talking about a kink I have around my kids. Despite the changing of perception as to morals and what is right or wrong, I still believe the majority of people believe there is a reason for G ratings verses R or X. Hence, if this is something sexual to you, then by all means, it is not something to be exposed to children. I respect others opinions, but for myself, I firmly believe that just as there are ratings on films as to the appropriate audiences, there are things that are appropriate to discuss and also not to discuss to age different audiences.

But what if it is not sexual Teddy? I wear diapers just because they make me feel good and it is part of my identity deep within.

I hear you on this. That is who I am and describes my interest in wearing diapers. But let's look at this too for a second. Even if it is just a deep part of yourself, why is it appropriate or not appropriate to share the fact you like wearing diapers with your kids?

Well... hmmm... If you are not a parent, then you might not get this, but guess what? Like it or not, your kids see you in not only the controlled portion of your family life, but also amongst peers. And guess what? Their peers and friends are sure as heck not likely to think someone wearing diapers is a cool thing. And wake up call here... your kids aren't just going to be listening to you as they are teenagers and grow into their own adulthood.

Finally, there is the fact that despite the internet, despite all of the awareness that is now out there that quite a few people do wear diapers out of desire and not need, it is still something that usually causes a lot of pain to those who have this interest, and especially as they work through accepting and not accepting it in their life. This was horrible for me personally, and caused me to have a very low self esteem for a long period in my life. So as a father, who has struggled through this, the last thing I would want is for any of my children to go the hell and fire of these emotions.

Hence, for these reasons, and the simple fact that there are really no good reasons why I should share that I like wearing diapers, I have not shared this with my children and gone to great efforts to keep it private.

Its not that it is wrong. It is not that it is shameful. It is simply very personal and something I believe very special to be shared with someone who understands it and can be part of this experience with me. But that does not include my children. For these reasons, I have not, and will not share it with them.

So that is Teddy Bear's story.

... But let me share in closing what took place with my son as I discovered his interest in diapers.

He was, I think ,12 or 13 when I found the used diapers, and after much careful, and very deep thought (and prayer), I approached him about it and shared what I had found. He at first was very quiet and it was obvious he did not want to talk about it, but I shared with him that I understood and that it was something that a lot of people do have an interest in.

More than anything, I shared with him that I loved him and that I understood that these were strong feelings (without actually coming out and telling him I had the same feelings) and that it was natural to feel these things.

I also shared with him that it was okay to have these feelings, but that if he was struggling with it and felt like it was something that he was having a hard time about, that I was there for him. More than anything, I explained that he was not alone and that there are many others who feel this way. I was neutral in my discussion and did not discourage or encourage him, but rather simply let him know I was there for him and that if he needed to talk about it, I was there.

As you can imagine, it felt very awkward at first. As he did not want his Dad knowing about this and essentially tried to hide within himself. But as we discussed this, it became an amazing experience and actually something that brought us closer together as he realized I was not lecturing him that it was wrong.

We have had a few conversations since that time about it and he has shared he really isn't thinking much about it anymore as he is involved in football and many other things. But regardless of if he is or isn't still involved or feeling these desires, I truly believe that I did the right thing and it brought us closer as father and son.

:educate: Parenting is not a strict discipline with only one right or wrong answer. Rather, I sincerely believe that each circumstance is different. Where in some instances it would be very wrong to share your interests in wearing diapers with your children, there are others that perhaps given the circumstance you are in it would be okay. But for myself, I do not feel there is a need or reason as a parent to share your interest in being ABDL with your children as I perceive a greater negative rationale than the potential benefits of doing so. And this is coming from a situation where my own son has an interest in wearing diapers also.

If you are in this situation, the best advice I can give you is to use sound judgement and consider all of the ramifications and/or benefits of sharing your DL or ABDL interests, and then go with what your gut instinct tells you. No one answer is correct to be sure. Use logic, but more importantly, use instinct and love. Love more than anything...

:detective3

--Thanks for reading and please forgive me for being so verbose in sharing my opinion. Because I have been so directly involved in this situation, I wanted to share my insights as I have yet to hear of another ABDL here who has also had a child who expressed an ABDL interest.

TBC...this is an outstanding post. You have said all of the things that I wish I had said better. What I liked most of all is how you handled the situation with your son. If ANYONE understands that dynamic it is certainly you. Just a great read, thanx for taking the time to put it ALL down.

 

[mark58]

Great attitude, Lonnie

 

[abdlexplorer]

Hell no!!!

Unless I'm misunderstanding TBC on this, I very much agree with his stance.

I have a 6yr old and no intention of ever letting him know. Why? Because I don't need to wear diapers. I do feel it would be different if it was a medical matter and became somehow relevant for him to know, but it isn't.
Sometimes I wear them as a non-sexual coping mechanism; and how I deal with stress is noone's business but my own, letalone my child; as a parent I want to keep my stress and coping mechanisms away from my child as much as possible. This is non-sexual AB/DL, but that doesn't make it necessary for my child to know about it.
Sometimes I wear them for, admittedly, purely sexual reasons. At that point it is a fetish, and I feel completely inappropriate to be discussing it with my child. It's one thing to be open about sexuality, discussing your fetishes with your children would be on the wrong side of that line; as far as I'm concerned.

TBC, I really love the way you handled it when you found your son's. I feel I would have addressed it the same way. You let him know he was understood. loved, and would never be judged by you. As a parent sometimes we have to discuss things with our children that need to be discussed for their benefit; even if it's a unusual or awkward topic to most. You didn't cross that line though and tell him things he really didn't need to know.

TBC, I haven't been on here long enough to be familiar with your posts, but are you completely by choice in your wearing?

And I've seen at least one reference in here comparing being open about this to being open about being gay; just going to say, that's a slightly offensive comparison. Being an openly gay (yes, with a 6yr-old), ABDL who wears diapers for almost every possible reason EXCEPT medical, this comparison definitely bothers me.
I have health issues that I don't discuss with the average person, even if an opportunity comes up in conversation to point it out, I actively avoid letting most people know.
I have stress coping mechanisms (not just ABDL) that I don't discuss with the average person, even if an opportunity comes up in conversation to point it out, I actively avoid letting most people know.
I have sexual fetishes (also not just ABDL) that I don't discuss with the average person, even if an opportunity comes up in conversation to point it out, I actively avoid letting most people know.
However, like many openly gay people nowadays, I have no more reluctance acknowledging that I'm gay to anyone it comes up with than I would confirming my nationality or favourite ice cream flavour.

I consider myself something of an open book to the people around me on most topics, but there really are some topics that one does not just casually discuss with everyone they meet. There are also some topics that are really not appropriate to discuss with you children.

TL;DR

If you wear diapers for literally any reason other than medical necessity, I don't think it's an appropriate topic to discuss with your children.