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New to this and I'm scared!

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Crinkles89

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  1. Diaper Lover
Hi all, I'm 30 years old. I've known that I've lived diapers my entire life. 2 weeks ago, I decided to pluck up the courage to buy done and try it out. I love it and it's like there's no going back. However, I feel a huge amount of shame over it, maybe I've just built it all up in my own head for so long. So anyway, here I am, hoping to feel a sense of comfort from knowing I'm not alone in this!
 
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Crinkles89 said:
Hi all, I'm 30 years old. I've known that I've lived diapers my entire life. 2 weeks ago, I decided to pluck up the courage to buy done and try it out. I love it and it's like there's no going back. However, I feel a huge amount of shame over it, maybe I've just built it all up in my own head for so long. So anyway, here I am, hoping to feel a sense of comfort from knowing I'm not alone in this!
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Welcome! From my experience those feelings will get more intense and fade, and maybe get intense again. Just remember to look for balance. Don't let it consume you and don't try and suppress them. Life will be good.
 
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footedpjs said:
Welcome! From my experience those feelings will get more intense and fade, and maybe get intense again. Just remember to look for balance. Don't let it consume you and don't try and suppress them. Life will be good.
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Thank you, that's a good piece of advice. It's definitely consumed me this past week. But I don't want it to, I want it to feel as good as it did when I first wore one. But now I just feel horrible!!
 
Hello and welcome
 
Crinkles89 said:
Thank you, that's a good piece of advice. It's definitely consumed me this past week. But I don't want it to, I want it to feel as good as it did when I first wore one. But now I just feel horrible!!
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This sounds like the Binge/Purge cycle. A lot of AB/DLs go through this so you are not alone. I did when I was younger but over the years, feeling guilty goes away for the most part.
 
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dogboy said:
This sounds like the Binge/Purge cycle. A lot of AB/DLs go through this so you are not alone. I did when I was younger but over the years, feeling guilty goes away for the most part.
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Been there, done that.
Anyway, Crinkles 89, welcome to the AB/DL community.
 
Crinkles89 said:
Hi all, I'm 30 years old. I've known that I've lived diapers my entire life. 2 weeks ago, I decided to pluck up the courage to buy done and try it out.
I love it and it's like there's no going back. However, I feel a huge amount of shame over it
Click to expand...
Crinkles89 said:
It's definitely consumed me this past week. But I don't want it to, I want it to feel as good as it did when I first wore one. But now I just feel horrible!!
Click to expand...

Hello & Welcome
Finding the courage to finally accept & indulge in any kink/fetish for the first time can lead to over doing it a little bit at first, there is nothing wrong with that.

As far as the shame or any other bad feelings coming from this (or any other kink) as it is not a "normal" thing will subside.

Once you get past the rush of finally experiencing it and how it makes you feel you will learn how to integrate it into your life without it becoming an obsession.

Its OK to have a lil or a lot of fun with it at first you will find your balance with it.
 
Hello and welcome to ADISC!
 
Welcome, and enjoy your stay.
 
Crinkles89 said:
Hi all, I'm 30 years old. I've known that I've lived diapers my entire life. 2 weeks ago, I decided to pluck up the courage to buy done and try it out. I love it and it's like there's no going back. However, I feel a huge amount of shame over it, maybe I've just built it all up in my own head for so long. So anyway, here I am, hoping to feel a sense of comfort from knowing I'm not alone in this!
Click to expand...

Relax and enjoy. Cast aside guilt and shame. It's not needed here.
 
Crinkles89, ah to have been where you are when I was your age, instead of trying to convince myself that I was “normal”. The panic, that feeling of shame and horror at yourself, the ideas that your life may be over, all this shall pass. The truth is you are normal for you. And the great news is that there are many someones out there who will like and even love you for who you are and what you do, not in spite of those things. Remember that feeling of shame is there to keep you down.
 
I got discovered by my mom when I was a senior in college and I was convinced I was mentally ill. This was in 1970 when being gay meant you were mentally ill and my mom also found my gay porn when she was searching my room. There was no such thing as the internet and I had no one to talk to about why I wanted to wear diapers. I should add that my mom sent me to see a psychiatrist at a big mental facility outside Princeton, New Jersey and it was a place where they did electro-shock therapy and I think they still did lobotomies so I was scared.

Even though most of us are not going to tell others we enjoy wearing diapers because of public perception, we really have come a long way. At least we no longer would be locked away in a mental institution. (Okay, I've been watching Ratched on Netflix. Can you tell?) But all that is true as to what happened to me. I should add that I had come home from college for a nice weekend at home and during dinner I started crying and couldn't stop, having some sort of psychotic break. It was 1970 so that explains it I suppose. Anyway, when I went back to school my mom searched my room looking for drugs and instead found my makeshift diapers and gay porn.

We live in a somewhat different world today because of the internet and sites like this one. You can see that you are not alone, something I didn't have in 1970. A lot of people have one sort of kink or another and life goes on. As long as you're not breaking the law and not hurting anyone which includes yourself, you're okay to wear and use a diaper. No big deal if you put it into perspective with what goes on in the world.
 
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Crinkles89 said:
Hi all, I'm 30 years old. I've known that I've lived diapers my entire life. 2 weeks ago, I decided to pluck up the courage to buy done and try it out. I love it and it's like there's no going back. However, I feel a huge amount of shame over it, maybe I've just built it all up in my own head for so long. So anyway, here I am, hoping to feel a sense of comfort from knowing I'm not alone in this!
Click to expand...
Well I’m similar to you. I’m with a loving girlfriend and I finally divulged my secret. She accepted it and even entertained it. I guess I’m lucky in that respect. Don’t feel bad about who you are. Accept it, be proud and know there’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing.
 
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Crinkles89 said:
Hi all, I'm 30 years old. I've known that I've lived diapers my entire life. 2 weeks ago, I decided to pluck up the courage to buy done and try it out. I love it and it's like there's no going back. However, I feel a huge amount of shame over it, maybe I've just built it all up in my own head for so long. So anyway, here I am, hoping to feel a sense of comfort from knowing I'm not alone in this!
Click to expand...
Hey no need to put yourself down. There's a lot of us out there that started off in the same place. What about it is the part that gets to you?
 
I have felt that before. As they all stated things do get better and you will feel comfortable more often. Just try to relax and take in the culture
 
Welcome back to the crinkle crew ;)

That "what the hell am I doing" feeling will go away eventually.

As others have said, relax and enjoy yourself - you're not hurting anybody and there's nothing wrong with you! *hugs*
 
Crinkles89 said:
Hi all, I'm 30 years old. I've known that I've lived diapers my entire life. 2 weeks ago, I decided to pluck up the courage to buy done and try it out. I love it and it's like there's no going back. However, I feel a huge amount of shame over it, maybe I've just built it all up in my own head for so long. So anyway, here I am, hoping to feel a sense of comfort from knowing I'm not alone in this!
Click to expand...
Welome to the community Crinkles89! Remember that you are experiencing comfort and security and that you are not alone. There are hundreds of like minded people all over the world. I hope you are able to partake and not feel the negativity. Enjoy!
 
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