- Messages
- 1,200
- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Little
- Incontinent
Interstitial cystitis. OAB. Nocturnal enuresis. Nervous bladder.
All of this is bad enough.
My ESA died yesterday and I have been trying to hold it together but today more than ever I notice that if I've had the emotional hell beat out of me, I stop being able to tell if the sensations I'm having are just pain and misfiring nerves or if I've actually had an accident or have sprung a leak.
Did you know that if you fight your body's desire to get the emotions out one way, it's gonna pick another way to give you relief?
My dumb body and brain have decided that my shiny pressure release valve is just — like, nervous bladder is bad enough.
"My world has been torn asunder" bladder is the next step: the world turns into too much and you wet yourself because it's one way to get the pain out of your body even if you're frozen.
I've been here trying not to break down about losing my sweet kitten and the whole time I have been feeling my diaper just get wetter because I feel my grip slipping with every stop-and-breathe.
It makes me feel like a dumb irrational baby.
Normal people don't cry and wet themselves when their world breaks down.
Guess I've never been normal, though.
All of this is bad enough.
My ESA died yesterday and I have been trying to hold it together but today more than ever I notice that if I've had the emotional hell beat out of me, I stop being able to tell if the sensations I'm having are just pain and misfiring nerves or if I've actually had an accident or have sprung a leak.
Did you know that if you fight your body's desire to get the emotions out one way, it's gonna pick another way to give you relief?
My dumb body and brain have decided that my shiny pressure release valve is just — like, nervous bladder is bad enough.
"My world has been torn asunder" bladder is the next step: the world turns into too much and you wet yourself because it's one way to get the pain out of your body even if you're frozen.
I've been here trying not to break down about losing my sweet kitten and the whole time I have been feeling my diaper just get wetter because I feel my grip slipping with every stop-and-breathe.
It makes me feel like a dumb irrational baby.
Normal people don't cry and wet themselves when their world breaks down.
Guess I've never been normal, though.
