Incontinence issues From S1 nerve compromise

[Deleted member 49306]

Lost 3 discs between L4 and S1, fractured L4.
it has been 24/7 since.

 

[Diaperman95]

I remember early on I would go back and forth wearing a pad, not wearing one. I finally got tired of feeling damp all day and waking up that way. Each step of this has required humility and acceptance. I'm still trying to accept my latest "graduation" to pullups

You got this. Pullups are not that bad as long as you do not have massive floods or nonstop incontinence. Then you need a little bit more. When I use pullups I always put on two. then when one is soiled I go to the restroom and tear it away and pull the second one back up. Changing them and having to take your pants off sucks in a public restroom. I do not use them very often and my bowel incontinence is getting so bad I never really have used them the last 18 months. But I have been bladder incontinent over 30 years and I remember when they first came out. My first product was the old belted under garment. the last 5 years I started having bowel control and the last 2 years it is way more frequent. It sucks I wont lie but I will be damned if I let incontinence rule my life when we have such great products to day. My wife uses pull ups too and she fought pads for years. One day she ran out we was poor at the moment and I gave her one of my seni super active plus pull ups. She has not worn her panties ever since. She much prefers the pull ups. If you have not tried the seni pull ups I really suggest you give them a go. They are very affordable for the level of protection. Amazon sells them direct from seni and they are far priced. When and if you need to go to a fitted diaper do not hesitate. To me the living in fear my product was going to leak messed with my mind far more than can someone notice I am wearing a mega max diaper. I never worry about leaks with them. Not in public and if they leak at home it is only because I am trying to squeeze as much in them before throwing them out. My biggest fear now is a bad #2 around a lot of friends like the bowling alley. But mostly the smell.

Incontinence can really suck but only if you let it. I have been incontinent to some degree from middle school and I am almost 48. I have seen how much diapers have changed and how much peoples stigma has lifted. It may not feel that away to someone pretty new to being incontinent but we are on a gravy train with biscuit wheels with the products out today. Lol

Be sure to check out the seni pull ups. I know 7 years ago seni.com use to give out free samples an they sent me a big box at no cost with 2 of every diaper and pull up they make. I was shocked not sure if they still do. They make great products but they are all cloth back so I use Mega max as my main diaper from Northshore. T)hey too give free samples.

 

[cdory]

Interested in hearing more as I have a TON of issues related to my Coccyx (S1) and L5/S1 disc.

Diluaded was horrible, but I’m doing better today. I literally felt my pee leaking at the ER it was so embarrassing . Right now I need to see neurologist and then what happens happens. I’ve got diapers but the i typically don’t wear unless I’ve wet, so many want it, but I’d prefer to hold on to control as long as possible. The only thing is at night I’m worried about a fall getting up, plus I don’t wet the bed, if I do it’s on the way to the bathroom. I thought about hypnosis but I don’t trust most as many have negetive tendencie. I’ve heard parts of one where the individual was invoking a spirit to give them control. So I think I just stick to getting up with the possibility of needing to change my undies. Unless my body changes its mind and I end up needing to wear at night.

 

[CptKirk]

Why do say Dilaudid is horrible? Just curious. I'm not exaggerating when I state that if NOT for Dilaudid and the temporary relief I receive from it, especially in IV form, I likely would had ended my misery LONG ago. The downside to Dilaudid is that at the highest dose they will give (2mg/hour through an IV) only gives me 75-90 minutes of significant relief and then the pain rapidly returns. IF I have a nurse who is attentive and concerned, she's there with my next dose as soon as possible and as close to the 2 hour window as possible and if they continue to stay on top of my pain, it is usually "broken" in 3-5 days but when they're consistently late, there's emergencies on the floor with a skeleton crew of short staffed over-worked hospitals, well that can literally wipe out every inch I had gained and cause me to be in the hospital for days to weeks longer as it takes consistent, on time administration of my pain meds in order to "break" the indescribable pain, which is always indescribable when I am hospitalize lest I sure as hell would not be stuck lying in bed, half the time incapable of tending to me own needs/taking care of myself and when you have to go in your diaper due to every other nurse dealing with emergencies and you can't even sit up in bed let alone get out...to have to fill your diaper and know you're going and then have to face some poor nurse who has to clean all of the up, clean me up which requires moving my legs/rolling me onto my side which can cause pain so intense I must bite into washcloths or towels or else my screams would scare the total shit out of everyone else on that floor!~

(8% of the nurses I had have BEEN AWESOME and follow the Dr's orders but I have had 2 who accused me of suckering my Dr into giving me pain meds so I can get high! Both took their sweet time, waiting 3, 4 and even 5 hours between my prescribed shots every 2 hours. My Dr ripped one a new asshole and he was so loud about it that EVERYONE on the floor was well aware and I refused to allow her to be my RN several times since as she has told me to my face that there is nothing "that badly wrong" with me and I simply like the drugs so I could be high! GOD I HATE those fucking crusaders who are so self righteous that you can't tell them a thing as they can NEVER be wrong. I did learn she was fired no long after because she would refuse administration of pain meds she considered to be excessive! She did make my life miserable for several days before I finall got to talk to my pcp and explain to him what had been hapopening and when she told my PCP that she knew I didn't need what he prescribed so she refused to give it as directed and he erutped on her. I have had genetic testing, DNA tresting etc which shows I am missing recepotors in my brain meaning I don't feel "high" like most do as I lack those receptors and genetically I am a "rapid metabolizer" meaning whatmight last 4--6 hours in patient A, might not last 2 hours in my body. I sure as shit did not ask for these quirks but man I am GRATEFUL foir my non-VA PCP & Rheumey as both are world class physiucians with their patients coming first, period!

My apologies on typos. I have severe diplopia right now due to my headache and I can not see clearly AS i SEE 2 OF EVERYTHING AND THOSE SITES MOVE AT RANDON MAKING PROOFREADING DIFFICULT TO SAY THE LEASTY.

Have a good day. CptKirk

 

[cdory]

Why do say Dilaudid is horrible? Just curious. I'm not exaggerating when I state that if NOT for Dilaudid and the temporary relief I receive from it, especially in IV form, I likely would had ended my misery LONG ago. The downside to Dilaudid is that at the highest dose they will give (2mg/hour through an IV) only gives me 75-90 minutes of significant relief and then the pain rapidly returns. IF I have a nurse who is attentive and concerned, she's there with my next dose as soon as possible and as close to the 2 hour window as possible and if they continue to stay on top of my pain, it is usually "broken" in 3-5 days but when they're consistently late, there's emergencies on the floor with a skeleton crew of short staffed over-worked hospitals, well that can literally wipe out every inch I had gained and cause me to be in the hospital for days to weeks longer as it takes consistent, on time administration of my pain meds in order to "break" the indescribable pain, which is always indescribable when I am hospitalize lest I sure as hell would not be stuck lying in bed, half the time incapable of tending to me own needs/taking care of myself and when you have to go in your diaper due to every other nurse dealing with emergencies and you can't even sit up in bed let alone get out...to have to fill your diaper and know you're going and then have to face some poor nurse who has to clean all of the up, clean me up which requires moving my legs/rolling me onto my side which can cause pain so intense I must bite into washcloths or towels or else my screams would scare the total shit out of everyone else on that floor!~

(8% of the nurses I had have BEEN AWESOME and follow the Dr's orders but I have had 2 who accused me of suckering my Dr into giving me pain meds so I can get high! Both took their sweet time, waiting 3, 4 and even 5 hours between my prescribed shots every 2 hours. My Dr ripped one a new asshole and he was so loud about it that EVERYONE on the floor was well aware and I refused to allow her to be my RN several times since as she has told me to my face that there is nothing "that badly wrong" with me and I simply like the drugs so I could be high! GOD I HATE those fucking crusaders who are so self righteous that you can't tell them a thing as they can NEVER be wrong. I did learn she was fired no long after because she would refuse administration of pain meds she considered to be excessive! She did make my life miserable for several days before I finall got to talk to my pcp and explain to him what had been hapopening and when she told my PCP that she knew I didn't need what he prescribed so she refused to give it as directed and he erutped on her. I have had genetic testing, DNA tresting etc which shows I am missing recepotors in my brain meaning I don't feel "high" like most do as I lack those receptors and genetically I am a "rapid metabolizer" meaning whatmight last 4--6 hours in patient A, might not last 2 hours in my body. I sure as shit did not ask for these quirks but man I am GRATEFUL foir my non-VA PCP & Rheumey as both are world class physiucians with their patients coming first, period!

My apologies on typos. I have severe diplopia right now due to my headache and I can not see clearly AS i SEE 2 OF EVERYTHING AND THOSE SITES MOVE AT RANDON MAKING PROOFREADING DIFFICULT TO SAY THE LEASTY.

Have a good day. CptKirk

My first time taking it, and it made feel dizzy and weird but provided great pain relief.

 

[CptKirk]

My first time taking it, and it made feel dizzy and weird but provided great pain relief.

I ad it,, by far the MOST effective IV pain med I aver have had. I have the pill form at home to keep me out of the er as often as possible, but the pill form gives maybe 15-20% of the same relief.

 

[cdory]

I ad it,, by far the MOST effective IV pain med I aver have had. I have the pill form at home to keep me out of the er as often as possible, but the pill form gives maybe 15-20% of the same relief.

I had 3mg of it via IV, great pain relief just not so great feeling. I’m about a 5 on on the pain scale atm, but have flexeral and I start a course of prediszone tomorro. I’m not a fan of opioids so if I can avoid them I prefer to.

 

[Diaperman95]

My first time taking it, and it made feel dizzy and weird but provided great pain relief.

'It is so much better a drug than morphine. In a Iv form. I have had it in pill forms and the morphine or oxy work better for me in pills. MOrphine in a IV if you never had it feels way mory creepy. Imagine kind of the same feeling then a burning and tightness start between your shoulder blades and runs up the back of your neck. Plus the morphine cause bad rebound headache. Dilaudid is way more effective and last longer on me. IV meds are great for pain at the moment but they all burn off pretty fast.

That prednisone will make you feel like a new man. Nothing is better at knocking down inflamation. That is what bone spurs cause too. If you every want to try and avoid narcotics at the ER ask them about a toradol shot. They help a whole lot too and they won't make you feel loopy or wierd. They are a lot like a mega dose of ibuprofen. Not the exact same but they are a anti inflammatory drug that is not a steroid. They really help with the achy pain a lot and are 1000% the best thing for migraine. Anyone who tells a ER doc that a narcotic works better fore a headache is straight up lying and seeking drugs most likely. It really is a amazing med. especially if trying to avoid narcotics. I have 4 disc collapsed in my back two in the same area and 2 the C&T range but not as bad. I do have a spinal cord tumor a bit bigger than a eraser rite where the spinal cords branch out to the lower extremities. If you are having a lot of your pain at night keeping you up consider asking the doc for a low dose of Ambien, it really helps especially if you get the ambien CR. It dissolve slower to help you stay a sleep. I hope it is just a simple spur they can get and let you return to normal life. So far..."knock on wood"..I have not let anyone near my spine with a knife. But everyone has their limits. I got to rescan my tumor in june so depending what it does to how long i can avoid. I guess I have degenerative disk disease. But most people over 40 that has done labor most their life, has some form of it as well. Try sleeping with a few pillows below the knees if you sleep on your back. If you sleep on your side place a pillow between the knees. I am so happy you are getting in to see neuro. Just from my experience most of them have a god like mentality and no bedside manor. I would get second opinions and look at online reviews before you let anyone near you with a knife. You can dismiss stupid reviews like I had to wait 45 minutes to be seen. Or he would not give me the pain meds I need to live. Even if his bed side manor is lacking a little bit you can over look if everyone he has treated had good outcomes. You know if you read he left a sponge in my back or operated on the wrong joint or just does not listen to me then I would move on. If you find a good doctor for a second opinion and are on medicaid your primary doc will have to refer you. Or that is how it is in oklahoma. But above all when you see the doctor tell him you seen his reviews and that is important you get a doctor that will listen and explain. You will be surprised how much better a doctor will treat you if you tell him you look at and do medical reviews.

Any how my Ambien is hitting me so hopefully not too many typo's and you can make out my points. I am down for a PM antime a member wants to talk, especially if is something I have somewhat of experience with.


One last thing using diapers if you need them is not a big deal. If you wear one to bed and even if you get a urge and decide to let it out it is not going to make you more incontinent unless you do that for several months or years. So If you decide you would like to wear them to bed go for it. Same with in public at least wear to make sure you are covered in case you cant hold it. You can always push the diaper down enough to use a toilet and then you are covered if a urge gets the better of you. Seni makes some really super absorbent pull ups too if that is easier than fitted diapers. Get you some bed pads that are reusable. A decent size like 34x36 to lay on and if you leak it will catch it and protect the bed. The disposable kinds suck as they move around and slide out from under you. I will put a link to some of what I am talking about. They come in different sizes bigger and smaller they wash easy and dry fast. again sorry to ramble. I am out.

https://www.amazon.com/Simpli-Magic-Washable-Underpads-34x-Pack/dp/B0CL13F61G/ref=asc_df_B0CL13F61G/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=675729103105&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13688551017842651675&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1024290&hvtargid=pla-2274574331924&psc=1&mcid=95b3f174e76333a99d1885febde3176e

 

[AttilaThePun]

It sounds like I’ve been lucky with the doctors that I’ve had. My 2 level cervical fusion was done under workmen’s comp in ‘91, and my employer had one of the better insurance carriers in the country, so I didn’t have to run that surgery through Medicare or Medicaid, but my pain management has been billed to them for the past 17 years. The pacemaker implantation surgery as well as its quarterly remote monitoring and annual in office check has also been billed to them with no problem…so far. I’m thinking that it’s time for me to quit looking a gift horse in the mouth and realize how fortunate I am!

I recommend never looking into *any* orifice of a gift horse!

 

[AttilaThePun]

you have A medical condition , a diaper is no different than a Bandaid.
just larger.

But hopefully less painful to remove!!!

 

[AttilaThePun]

a gravy train with biscuit wheels

Dang, now I'm craving biscuits with cream gravy (with southern-style sausage crumbled in it, of course)... and may as well add a chicken-fried steak and more cream gravy, since it's just my imagination.

 

[AttilaThePun]

Why do say Dilaudid is horrible? Just curious. I'm not exaggerating when I state that if NOT for Dilaudid and the temporary relief I receive from it, especially in IV form, I likely would had ended my misery LONG ago. The downside to Dilaudid is that at the highest dose they will give (2mg/hour through an IV) only gives me 75-90 minutes of significant relief and then the pain rapidly returns. IF I have a nurse who is attentive and concerned, she's there with my next dose as soon as possible and as close to the 2 hour window as possible and if they continue to stay on top of my pain, it is usually "broken" in 3-5 days but when they're consistently late, there's emergencies on the floor with a skeleton crew of short staffed over-worked hospitals, well that can literally wipe out every inch I had gained and cause me to be in the hospital for days to weeks longer as it takes consistent, on time administration of my pain meds in order to "break" the indescribable pain, which is always indescribable when I am hospitalize lest I sure as hell would not be stuck lying in bed, half the time incapable of tending to me own needs/taking care of myself and when you have to go in your diaper due to every other nurse dealing with emergencies and you can't even sit up in bed let alone get out...to have to fill your diaper and know you're going and then have to face some poor nurse who has to clean all of the up, clean me up which requires moving my legs/rolling me onto my side which can cause pain so intense I must bite into washcloths or towels or else my screams would scare the total shit out of everyone else on that floor!~

(8% of the nurses I had have BEEN AWESOME and follow the Dr's orders but I have had 2 who accused me of suckering my Dr into giving me pain meds so I can get high! Both took their sweet time, waiting 3, 4 and even 5 hours between my prescribed shots every 2 hours. My Dr ripped one a new asshole and he was so loud about it that EVERYONE on the floor was well aware and I refused to allow her to be my RN several times since as she has told me to my face that there is nothing "that badly wrong" with me and I simply like the drugs so I could be high! GOD I HATE those fucking crusaders who are so self righteous that you can't tell them a thing as they can NEVER be wrong. I did learn she was fired no long after because she would refuse administration of pain meds she considered to be excessive! She did make my life miserable for several days before I finall got to talk to my pcp and explain to him what had been hapopening and when she told my PCP that she knew I didn't need what he prescribed so she refused to give it as directed and he erutped on her. I have had genetic testing, DNA tresting etc which shows I am missing recepotors in my brain meaning I don't feel "high" like most do as I lack those receptors and genetically I am a "rapid metabolizer" meaning whatmight last 4--6 hours in patient A, might not last 2 hours in my body. I sure as shit did not ask for these quirks but man I am GRATEFUL foir my non-VA PCP & Rheumey as both are world class physiucians with their patients coming first, period!

My apologies on typos. I have severe diplopia right now due to my headache and I can not see clearly AS i SEE 2 OF EVERYTHING AND THOSE SITES MOVE AT RANDON MAKING PROOFREADING DIFFICULT TO SAY THE LEASTY.

Have a good day. CptKirk

Timely administration of Dilaudid can be easily accomplished, and dose timing controlled to avoid overly frequent dosing, by the doctor prescribing that your Dilaudid be administered intravenously using a PCA (Patient-Controlled Analgesia) device. Commonly called a pain pump, the patient presses a button when the dose is needed, and the pump injects through the IV tubing. If it's too soon, it won't do it. I had one after my total knee replacement, and it was great! I don’t know why they haven't used one on you, most nurses are grateful that they don't have to do 15 things at once.

 

[Edgewater]

Sadly, for the rest of us, the drug users have cause many Hospitals to withdraw the use.

 

[cdory]

But hopefully less painful to remove!!!

A diaper is bit humiliating but indeed less painful then a bandaid. It’s hard to accept that loss of dignity you know, like I said I prefer to retain control if I can. I mean if I can’t then I can’t but I’m gonna fight to =/

 

[Edgewater]

A diaper is bit humiliating but indeed less painful then a bandaid. It’s hard to accept that loss of dignity you know, like I said I prefer to retain control if I can. I mean if I can’t then I can’t but I’m gonna fight to =/

You may want to consider keep a journal to track you abilities, successes and failures, etc. to see if you have patterns as this will help you time when it is the general time you want to be closer to a toilet. Lots of other things you can follow as well.

I have long kept a journal and have found a limited, but useable time line.

 

[CptKirk]

I had 3mg of it via IV, great pain relief just not so great feeling. I’m about a 5 on on the pain scale atm, but have flexeral and I start a course of prediszone tomorro. I’m not a fan of opioids so if I can avoid them I prefer to.

WATCH Prednisone!! When only on a temporary dosage, you have nothing to fear but when I was on it full time (2004-14 with heavy dosages for the 1st 6 years of 20mg/day+) I wound up with Osteoporosis in my spine. My teeth crumbled like sand castles. sadly I had little choice as I likely would be dead without Prednisone stopping my immune system from attacking my liver, joints and especially my lower spine an Coccyx, issue i will be living with that cause INDESCRIBABLE pain until the day I die.

 

[CptKirk]

Timely administration of Dilaudid can be easily accomplished, and dose timing controlled to avoid overly frequent dosing, by the doctor prescribing that your Dilaudid be administered intravenously using a PCA (Patient-Controlled Analgesia) device. Commonly called a pain pump, the patient presses a button when the dose is needed, and the pump injects through the IV tubing. If it's too soon, it won't do it. I had one after my total knee replacement, and it was great! I don’t know why they haven't used one on you, most nurses are grateful that they don't have to do 15 things at once.

I had a pump implant from May 2005 until they had to replace it in may 2012. Sadly I almost immediately developed a MASSIVE Staph infection and the pump had to come back out weeks after it was put in. That went from a Staph infection to MRSA and then C-Dif...more than 40 days stuck in a hospital (in agony!) peeing out of my butt, unable to care for myself and to this day that is the ONLY hospitalization I have ever had in the heat of the summer. The rest of my hospitalizations were mostly in Nov/Dec/Jan/Feb with some in March * April. I have spent 8 birthdays (March 3) hospitalized and 4 Christmas's, 5 New years!

 

[CptKirk]

Sadly, for the rest of us, the drug users have cause many Hospitals to withdraw the use.

People WONDER WHY I snap when I hear people defend addicts! Because of them and despite the FACT I have never in my life used/abused ANY drugs I am treated worse than dog shit someone wearing brand new shoes steps in! My patience wore paper thin many many moons ago and I honestly don't care IF I take it out on anyone talking down to me OR outright accusing me of being a drug seeker! They DESERVE to have their face caved in!

 

[AnalogRTO]

People WONDER WHY I snap when I hear people defend addicts! Because of them and despite the FACT I have never in my life used/abused ANY drugs I am treated worse than dog shit someone wearing brand new shoes steps in! My patience wore paper thin many many moons ago and I honestly don't care IF I take it out on anyone talking down to me OR outright accusing me of being a drug seeker! They DESERVE to have their face caved in!

Unfortunately, the treatment comes from those who aren't willing to look beyond the medication you are taking and your situation.

"You're taking drug XYZ, therefore you're a junkie/addict/etc.!!!" Yes, I take that drug under the supervision of a doctor. I take it for this condition, and without that drug my life would be nearly unlivable. I have been on this dosage now for this long, and any dosage changes are done by my doctor. Without this medication, I spend my days in a living hell. While taking this medication, you see me as a normal functioning human. The medication is not what my life is about, but instead it lets me live my life.

I know exactly of what you speak. Nobody bothers to learn what addiction is actually defined by. They just see someone taking a drug that is vilified in the media as being behind the latest addictive crisis and assume you are an addict.

Addiction isn't defined by taking a drug in controlled conditions under medical supervision. It's using a drug not to try and be normal again, but to get high. Tolerance that gets built up means they end up needing more and more of the drug to get that high. Seeking the higher levels of that drug and that high takes precedence over everything else in life. That is what an addict is. Not somebody following medical advice to try and get their life to a semblance of normal.

 

[CptKirk]

@AnalogRTO Are you in the medical field? If so, what i would give to have you at the Wilkes-Barre VA is limitless (figure of speech...I'm incapable of giving what I wish I COULD give!) as the ER's in my area are all the same. You're already on opiate medications? YOU'RE A DRUG SEEKER!

Years and years ago I shattered a Dr's face (broke his nose but good and I was oh so proud that his blood reached the ceiling and 2 walls!) as I was at the "other" local hospital in my area (Geisinger) on the recommendation of my PCP as I had already spent well in excess of 120 days hospitalized in 2004 at my local hospital of preference (because my PCP used to see patients there, had admitting rights etc.) as well as Hershey Medical ctr in Hershey, University of Penn, Jefferson University and Jefferson Headache Ctr and finally Johns Hopkins (worst one as the DR I had was a gaping asshole who treated me like dirt and I left after 6 hours! i was called the next day with them offering to transport me the 4 hours there and home when admin learned of it but I was so infuriated that was never happening) but anyway.,.......

In Geisinger, I was admitted late on a Sunday and placed in a private room. I had a 104 fever (I had quotidian fevers that would reach as high as 105 every 10-12 hours for over a year) though the indescribable headache was my largest complaint followed closely by horrific low back pain that prevented me from standing or walking. I had been peeing all over myself (unknowingly/uncontrollably) for months by that time and the next morning in walks a Dr who was obviously a foreigner as I couldn't understand half of what he said but he began by berating me for lying in a soaking wet diaper! He was speaking to me in an aggressive tone when I could had SWORE he accused me of being a drug seeker. NOW, I was sincerely convinced I was dying for more than a year when this was newish to me and truly afraid for my life. I began to incline the head of my bed as I was struggling to understand what he was saying and i asked him to repeat what he had said when he put his face within an inch or 2 of mine and magically lost all traces of his THICK accent. He told me that he was sending me home because I was only in "HIS" hospital so I "could suck up all of HIS drugs"! Well, less than a year earlier I was bench pressing over 500lbs, was able to rep over 1600lbs on an inclined leg sled (simulated squat rack that removes your spine from the equation) and i was still quite MASSIVE, build wise. When he put his face right on top of mine, lost his accent and spoke those words I said "fuck it" (to myself), grabbed the collar of his shirt with my left hand and twisted it so I could ensure I had a vice like grip and let loose with a violent overhand right. I was quite upset that I couldn't hang on to his collar as he instantly collapsed to the ground but I was PROUD that his blood reached the ceiling and 2 walls! That asshole was out cold for several minutes, lying in a pool of blood and then got up, screaming as he held his hands to his face and ran out of the room! I laid back in bed, figuring I'd relax as much as possible until the police came to arrest me! They never did!

After an hour or so, I rang for a nurse as my underpads and bed were drenched (hospital diapers are useless) and I was overdue for my pain med as my headache was as bad as it was the previous night which is what sent me to the ER to start with. when she walked in she instantly saw the blood and asked me if I fell out of bed and I told her what happened, expecting to see the police at any moment. Instead she started jumping up and down while shrieking, thanking me as she (and the rest of the nurses) DESPISED that asshole! They saw him sneaking off of the floor not long beforehand with tremendously thick bandages covering his face, saying nothing to no one! She told me she was having a patient advocate come and take my statement and then proceeded to help me out of bed into a chair after changing my diaper, changed my bedding, got me back in bed with the assistance of another nurse and then gave me my overdue pain medication (IV Dilaudid) which immediately lowered the headache from a 9/10 to a 5 or so.. I spent much of the next 2 days speaking to advocates, hospital administration between an MRI, CT scans, endless lab work and medications plus meals. I was told that "hitting people is never OK" but that was the only scolding I received. I heard from one of the nurses that this particular AQSSHOLE Physician was meeting with admin and of course the story he told them was that I was violent and out of bed and hit him for no reason. Too bad for him he told them I attacked him as he came through the door yet the blood on the walls and floor put him on the far side (from the door) of the bed, so they knew he was lying. they fired him! Turned out he was already on thin ice as he had countless complaints lodged against him due to horrible bedside manner, being aggressive with patients etc. The nurses LOVED me and for the next week I was there I had ice cream sundaes, coffee, bagels, pastries etc. as there is a bake shop not far from the hospital!

I can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES I WISH I could hit some of these GAPING assholes, with the ones in the ERs by far the worst! I never imagined I would experience this at the va ER as everyone there goes out of their way to make you feel respected. NOT the assholes in the ER! The last time I went was last April as my Pain Mgmt Dr took one look at me and asked me who best the shit out of me. when my headache is at its' worst, my eyes puff out, my face gets dark red to purple (as does my head) and my eyes go wildly out of alignment (diplopia) and I see 2 of everything but on wildly varying planes. I refused and when asked why I told him I had gone to the er 2x in the previous 5 or 6 days and they outright REFUSED to do ANYTHING outside of give me a Tylenol and an ice pack and then had the police escort me from the grounds! He told me I was going and he was calling down there. being he was adamant, i reluctantly agreed. WOW....i was literally "yelled" at and told to my face that "we don't give a shit who intervenes on your behalf" we don't treat headaches like "that" anymore. I was offered a Tylenol and ice pack and told the guy he had 3 seconds to get out of my face or else. I walked out before the could get a cop. In speaking with the police the 2 earlier times the police officer asked me to NOT include him in any complaints as he wanted NOTHING to do with what they were doing, told me they've been doing that to a LOT of other people and he wanted his name kept out of it as he knew what they were doing was unacceptable!

I was given the phone # to the veteran's white House hotline, which I had never even known to exist and the woman I spoke to was FURIOUS with how I was treated! I spoke to her for almost an hour and she sounded like your typical "strong black woman" and IF I knew her name and where she lived I'd probably go propose to her! SHE WAS AMAZING! Within minutes of hanging up with her I began getting phone call after phone call from everyone who I had dealt with in the ER the previous week (3 different times) and they sounded LIVID! I was asked WHY I called that number. I was asked HOW I got that number. I was asked WHO gave me that number! I imagine the must have all been ripped a new asshole! The head of the ER (who was the one who told me that he didn't care WHO was advocating for me on my behalf) was miserable and asked me what I feel they should do and HOW I managed to remain professional and tell him HOW I had been treated dozens upon dozens of times previously in the prior 20 years continued to tell me that they no longer treated headaches in that manner and I told him that was not my problem! I don't care WHAT they have to do, but treating me worse than shit, giving me a fucking Tylenol and throwing me out with a police escort was beyond unacceptable!

I have been PROMISED that this will never happen again, but I have little to no faith in that promise. I have had at least a dozen days when the pain was off the charts indescribable yet I still refuse to go as I am sincerely afraid of what I might do IF treated like shit again! I have no desire to be labeled "that type" of patient though I can promise that IF this happens again and IF I lose control that THEY will come out of the event looking much worse than I will as I will not hesitate to speak to every single news paper, TV station and anyone else who will listen. I have had politicians send me letters asking me if this issue has been resolved (NO CLUE HOW THEY EVEN KNOW as I never contacted them!) but I know how to "play the game".

I've simply had it with being mistreated. I am way too sick and tired of paying for the sins of others! I never in my life did ANY illegal drug. I have never once felt high from the myriad of super duty opiates I have been on for over 20 years. I have never ran short, ran out early, had pills go missing. You name it! My pills are in a place that I and I alone can access UNLESS I am hospitalized as my Dad has a key to that safe. My soon to be ex used to until she ran around with at least a half dozen guys and financially DESTROYED my life. Being there is a significant amount of cash and my guns in said safe I changed the locks and the keys are only with me and my Father, period.

I have ZERO sympathy for any DR. who speaks down to their patients, treats them like dirt when/IF someone like me decides they have had enough and floors the bastards! I KNOW they deal with actual addicts and drug seekers daily but it can NOT be that hard to separate those who are abusing drugs from those who need these medications. I've offered to give blood & urine samples as they can quickly determine who is who with either and in a short amount of time but to instantly assume that a chronic pain patient is just another drug seeker is beyond UNACCEPTABLE! That would be no different than me instantly selling $5000 worth of work to every vehicle I come across whether it needs it or not! I am more highly trained in my field than 99.5% of my peers and I know Dr's are likely in a similar situation so to be told that "they see drug seekers so often they feel everyone is one" is no different than me insisting that every damn vehicle I look at visually without doing any inspecting needs $50000 worth of work, period, because i se soo many vehicles that need all of that every single day. That's a copout and beyond dishonest.

I'm sorry...my head is pounding and I'm losing the ability to retain my train of thought. I had a better description but the thought escaped before I was able to fully articulate it., I hope my point is understandable though. I especially am intersected in hearing from medical professionals here, even if only through a PM ((I will keep your information between the two of us) as I feel hopeless and honestly believe that I would be better off dead although I must emphatically state that I am not nor have I ever contemplated harming myself, period. I'd much rather harm people that truly deserve it!


CptKirk