Incontinence and dating

[slimjiminy]

I do think acceptance is easier for folks when it is related to incontinence (rather than AB/DL amusement). I would include bedwetting in this because if IC happens while you sleep, it is out of your control.

If at one extreme someone says to their date "Oh, by the way, I'm into ABDL... Be my mommy?", I think the normal response will be repulsion, which shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.

If on the other hand you present it as "I hope it doesn't offend you but I have to tell you that I'm incontinent... I manage it the best I can.". That response is likely to be different. They might still be repulsed in the end, but it conveys a very different impression of who you are.

The other thing is how you present yourself to the world. If you let your diaper hang out so that everyone can see that you wear diapers, or talk about it too openly, then the date gets to thinking, that she doesn't want that kind of embarrassment in front of her friends and family.

There are so many ways that dating can go off the rails in this. As someone else in this thread said, you have to view all of this through your date's eyes.

 

[Soggy247]

I met my partner on POF dating site.
Whilst I only wear for fun I did add to my profile that I have a ABDL interest so that any potential female partner already knew before messaging me. That way they had to be okay with it or wouldn’t have bothered contacting me.
I had only positive responses, saying how brave and honest I was, and eventually ended up with a G/F who is happy to act as caretaker.

Obviously it’s easier for us here with understanding partners to say that there are people out there who will love you for who you are and not what you wear but it is true!

Good luck…..and don’t give up!

Thank you for the kind words. . Yes, i am lucky. I have alot of people who love me in my life. . .

 

[Soggy247]

I do think acceptance is easier for folks when it is related to incontinence (rather than AB/DL amusement). I would include bedwetting in this because if IC happens while you sleep, it is out of your control.

If at one extreme someone says to their date "Oh, by the way, I'm into ABDL... Be my mommy?", I think the normal response will be repulsion, which shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.

If on the other hand you present it as "I hope it doesn't offend you but I have to tell you that I'm incontinent... I manage it the best I can.". That response is likely to be different. They might still be repulsed in the end, but it conveys a very different impression of who you are.

The other thing is how you present yourself to the world. If you let your diaper hang out so that everyone can see that you wear diapers, or talk about it too openly, then the date gets to thinking, that she doesn't want that kind of embarrassment in front of her friends and family.

There are so many ways that dating can go off the rails in this. As someone else in this thread said, you have to view all of this through your date's eyes.

I am super discrete. I am in a professional environment so I'm all good on that front. but no i get it. Totally. And to be fair, i can see the reasons why it puts women off just get a little frustrated sometimes. With every knock back comes a scar to variant degrees but sound advise thank you

 

[NotTheAverageMan]

maybe don’t be open about your incontinence issues In the beginning.
is your incontinence severe, or something you can maybe control somewhat by doing timed voidings?
Maybe try and go to the toilet more frequently? Maybe even utilize a catheter to empty your bladder fully, and restricting your fluid intake.

most people are put off by adults who wear diapers regardless of it being for need or pleasure, unfortunately.

Even my wife who I have been married to for more than a decade is not too keen on me wearing diapers even though she knows I need them to protect both my clothes, our furniture and to save me from embarrassment. She accepts it, but that’s about as far as she goes.

 

[OmiOMy]

Ah yes, IC and relationships.

I lucked out in this department, but it's a funny story.

See, my old roommate I had to tell because as messed up as she is she didn't want me to keep sleeping in the range of the bedbugs so she offered me a side of the bed, and I had to explain I'd be wearing at night. I asked her not to tell but when she set me up with my partner, she danced around the question of him and me sharing a bed overnight.

Now here's where it gets funny. I had been dating him a while and I was feeling like I needed to be honest, so I swallowed hard and told him that I do have primary nocturnal enuresis (you know, bedwetting)...and it turned out, he'd figured it out by the way my ex roommate was talking.

At the same time, I came clean about my diapers.

His actual reaction was a "d'aww" and a hug.

I'm lucky he's so understanding. I know my last ex would not have been so patient and kind.

The good ones will stay around.

 

[inconsurferdude]

Remember that you're evaluating them too, so use the first few dates to get a feel for their personality and if they seem judgemental in general. You don't have to mention your incontinece if you decide for yourself that you're not going to go on another date with them. When you find someone who seems openminded, bring it up on the 2nd or 3rd date, and don't act embarrassed or apologetic. If they try to make it a big deal, frame it so they are weird, for making it a big deal. Try to have fun with dating: think how embarassing it would be for a girl to tell her friends that she got rejected by a guy who wears diapers. Turn it around.