Im struggling being a diaper lover and a bull rider/cowboy

[Cammer]

I’m struggling with the fact I can’t stop wanting diapers. I ride bulls and cowboy but I can't help the feelings of wanting to wear and use diapers. This is a problem to me because I feel weak and babyish when I wear diapers and its the direct opposite of who I am when I'm riding bulls. I feel like I have a split personality and I really need helping coming to terms with who I am. is there anyone else in the western lifestyle who loves diapers. how do y'all deal with it and how did you come to terms with it / stop binging and purging. Any and all help would be great.

 

[messydiaper]

That's the cool thing about secrets. You don't have to tell anyone about diapers and wearing them doesn't keep you from being a cowboy! So do both! Be the best cowboy ever who keeps a secret that he also likes to wear diapers. And if you find a person to share that side of you with, cool. If not, that'll always be your secret and nobody else's business.

 

[Cammer]

That's the cool thing about secrets. You don't have to tell anyone about diapers and wearing them doesn't keep you from being a cowboy! So do both! Be the best cowboy ever who keeps a secret that he also likes to wear diapers. And if you find a person to share that side of you with, cool. If not, that'll always be your secret and nobody else's business.

that's true thank you. I guess I a\just am having trouble coming to terms that no matter how long I go without diapers I still am going to want them and eventually get them again

 

[messydiaper]

I am a DL and I understand how you feel. Fifty something years for me and that desire never goes away. Best wishes to you!

 

[Cammer]

I am a DL and I understand how you feel. Fifty something years for me and that desire never goes away. Best wishes to you!

thank you. I have been a DL for about 12 years and the feeling gets stronger by the year. I feel like I am at the point of embracing it but im afraid I will just purge again, I almost did yesterday.

 

[messydiaper]

Purge, smurge, Dude! We all go through that. Eventually we learn not to throw away money. Just hide that stuff and let it roll

 

[Cammer]

Purge, smurge, Dude! We all go through that. Eventually we learn not to throw away money. Just hide that stuff and let it roll

I appreciate it.and I do see the waste In money I reckon I just don't think about the waste till its already in the can on its way out to the curb

 

[dltrainer]

how long time you have not wore a diaper?, i think a thing, while you wear often that feeling would just dissappear and become easier to separate both roles, between nice picture

 

[Cammer]

how long time you have not wore a diaper?, i think a thing, while you wear often that feeling would just dissappear and became easier to separate both roles, between nice picture

I just bought a pack for the first time in 9 months. I was beating my self up for thinking about it but the urges kept getting stronger till I went out and bought some. there is a ABDL diaper store near me so I tend to go there when I can't help my self

 

[bret2]

It’s not easy pard. I’m not a cowboy, but I am a country boy to the core. It’s tough living a double life. I find myself in a mental battle all the time. Like you the older I get, the tougher it is to deny this part of me. I’m actually to the point that I wear diapers close to 50% of the time because if I don’t my minds becomes so consumed with it I can’t focus on anything else.. best thing you can do is don’t fight it. Fighting it only makes it harder. At least that’s how it is for me

 

[Cammer]

It’s not easy pard. I’m not a cowboy, but I am a country boy to the core. It’s tough living a double life. I find myself in a mental battle all the time. Like you the older I get, the tougher it is to deny this part of me. I’m actually to the point that I wear diapers close to 50% of the time because if I don’t my minds becomes so consumed with it I can’t focus on anything else.. best thing you can do is don’t fight it. Fighting it only makes it harder. At least that’s how it is for me

that's what im hearing a lot of is don't fight it and I am going to take that to heart.

 

[LittleMaddox]

I totally understand what you're going through. I've been in the same boat. I'm hardcore into all things mountain biking, which continues to be surrounded by a pretty masculine and intense culture. Quite the incongruity with ABDL.

I think I did more harm than good when I tried to separate my ABDL side from the rest my self, like the sort of "split personality" you mentioned, particularly because it didn't seem compatible with my other goals and interests. Once I moved towards embracing it more and realized there's really nothing wrong with it (which did take quite a while) I've been a lot happier, and don't really purge anymore either.

I'll never let it cross over into some things like mountain biking, but I found one thing that helped me accept it as part of just "me" rather than a separate personality, etc. was just letting my ABDL side flow into other things, as it suits me. For example if I'm tired at the end of the day, a cute pair of pajamas and a diaper can help me relax, and going about adult responsibilities at home in the evening like that seems to work when I'm in the mood. (Everything doesn't have to just be "littlespace" or full-on ABDL time which for me is difficult to get.)

One suggestion as well if you're having trouble with purging, is to have a Tupperware bin, duffle bag, suitcase, etc. that you can just tuck your ABDL stuff into when you want to get rid of it and shove it deep in the back of a closet somewhere. You will want it again, and if you realize that, even if you can't stop purging entirely, you can temporarily get rid of it and get away from it. I know that works for some people.

 

[Bearcatz]

thank you. I have been a DL for about 12 years and the feeling gets stronger by the year. I feel like I am at the point of embracing it but im afraid I will just purge again, I almost did yesterday.

For me, the first step was embrace myself and be happy with the weird side of me. The next part was finding a balance that didn't disrupt my life.

Don't try to take on both problems at once.

 

[Hunter185]

Interesting question! I'm a horse trainer by trade and working with people and their horses all the time. I like getting out on the trails and have guided and led pack strings and spent months way out in the bush where cell service doesn't exist. I guess it's just a different part of my life. They don't co-exist but I don't have a problem with that. I had a horse related accident years ago which burst my bladder and busted my pelvis, and ended up having to wear diapers for a while after because I had no "hold it" ability. So I've ridden horses with diapers too.

 

[Cammer]

Interesting question! I'm a horse trainer by trade and working with people and their horses all the time. I like getting out on the trails and have guided and led pack strings and spent months way out in the bush where cell service doesn't exist. I guess it's just a different part of my life. They don't co-exist but I don't have a problem with that. I had a horse related accident years ago which burst my bladder and busted my pelvis, and ended up having to wear diapers for a while after because I had no "hold it" ability. So I've ridden horses with diapers too.

that's awesome. I love horses but haven't been on in forever. if you don't mind me asking, how did riding while diaper work out. did you have any issues.im not interested in trying it if I don't need to but im just curious. god forbid diapers became necessity if horse back would be difficult

 

[Diaperdog]

I'm a working dog trainer aka they bite people. I spend my days getting bit or sending dogs to bite. Most nights I go home or to the hotel have dinner a few beers or whiskey with a nice diaper on. People in that world don't know about my DL side they don't need to I accept my self and I'm happy. Just because you like to wear a diaper don't mean your not a bad a** bull rider/cowboy.

 

[fleckothefennec]

I feel your dilemma, I live a fairly sterotistic manly life. I'm a mechanic by trade, a hunter, tan hides and furs, live off grid in the remote wilderness, work out a lot and have masculine body. I view my diaper wearing as just another part of who I am. Not one thing defines me, but many.

I also sew and recite classical poetry from memory, it's ok to be a contrast

 

[paddedcowboy]

All my friends call me a cowboy but I just have some country roots. I definitely see where you’re coming from. It’s no joke. I’ve only found one way to get rid of the binge and purge…. coming to acceptance with yourself and embrace it. The binge and purge never goes away completely but for me it is almost non-existent these days. For me an important part was to keep wearing as soon as the purge starts no matter how bad I want to stop diapering. I would wait at least 30 minutes to take my diaper off.

 

[dogboy]

I felt the conflict when I was much younger. In high school and college, I loved sports and managed to play a few. After I graduated from college I got into 1/4 mile drag racing and had two cars I ran at the track. At the same time, I dearly loved wearing and wetting diapers. For years it was a conflict and I had trouble as to how I saw myself. But over the years I began to realize that as people, we're complicated and sometimes we're more than the sum of our parts, so to speak. I learned to make peace with myself, learning to accept my quirks along with my pluses and successes. Both are part of the same person and they can reside together in peace if you accept yourself for all the wonderful things you are.

 

[blaincorrous]

Sending you lots of . Each of us is filled with contradictions, and yet we are still one person with immutable traits. The struggle is to equally accept each of these.

It’s a little bit like the love you give. It comes back greater than you gave. It’s not conserved, in the Newtonian sense. In the same way, there’s enough of us to be who we are in this moment, whenever that is. There’s not a limited amount of yourself that has to fit with this mold.

We can shift gears to other parts, we can choose to mix them up, or we can create special time for our conflicted selves. We are who we are, and while we might feel the need to keep some parts secret, these parts don’t diminish the others. Embrace the dissonance.

And… uhh… be careful out there. Sounds like a rough profession, but you must be tough as nails to go out and ride bulls.