At home, a disposable would be super bulky, rising up around my belly button, absorbent even along the sides, two tapes, plain and unmistakably a diaper.
The cloth kind should also be super bulky and obvious, at home. The pin or pins should be real obvious.
If a Pull-Up, it could also be the part diaper style and could have cartoon prints. Multicoloured could work, like white and blue. Plain and underwear style are also good.
For wearing outside the house, it should be as thin and discrete as possible. It should be able to be put on and taken off as a Pull-Up, though also a diaper. The tapes should appear as seams, if it's a disposable, rather than like a diaper's tapes. If cloth, it should be designed where pins aren't required but it remains discrete. It should be very flexible so it'd be more like underwear. It should be a colour that won't show wetness and the diaper should eliminate odor. It should still be as absorbent as discretion allows.
I like the absorbent sides, on all of those. Only AB/DL diapers seem to do that (anymore, anyway, as I think that used to be a thing).