I think a family member maybe a abdl.

[matt1989]

Ok I promise this not clickbait this genuine a question. I have a family member who I helped raised and I'm not saying his age for privacy reasons let's just say his at that age where he ask questions and he was asking me about diapers. To be fair he live with grandma most his life I'm just basically his father figure although he see me moor uncle and grandma dos wear pull ups. I answer his questions as strate forward as I can but it left me thinking is all. Don't get me wrong I all was had my suspicions knowing him his whole life I definitely notice some things that probably only I would notice but I was hoping it was not the case but I fell today make make me feel 95% sure that it mite be the case. I feel like I'm in a delicate situation here. I feel like the best think I should do just stay quiet about and answer any questions that might come up. Leave my personal life out of it. I don't think I should have to say that but I just wanted to be clear about it and just let him ripping a hole in figure things out for himself. Maybe give him a small push in the right direction. I maybe over thinking this. On one hand I would hate for him to go through the same things I want throw but on the other I feel this is a journey hi has to take himself. I just hope he can fell costabile enough to be open to me if it is the case. I'm just asking am I doing the write thing am I over thinking this. CAN I GET HELP PLEAS!!! lol

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Perhaps best not to intervene right now but instead for him to take the initiative between you both, whether he says or shows it. Just my thoughts.

 

[Midwest82]

I think, just keep doing what you are doing. Answer his questions open and honestly. He clearly trust you enough to talk about things to a level. Let him find his own path, but give your advice when he ask for it. It sounds like you are doing the right thing, you are being exactly the kind of support he needs. Just keep doing what you have been. Sounds like you're a pretty awesome uncle.

 

[jojokelly]

HUH?!

 

[BigKid25]

Ok I promise this not clickbait this genuine a question. I have a family member who I helped raised and I'm not saying his age for privacy reasons let's just say his at that age where he ask questions and he was asking me about diapers. To be fair he live with grandma most his life I'm just basically his father figure although he see me moor uncle and grandma dos wear pull ups. I answer his questions as strate forward as I can but it left me thinking is all. Don't get me wrong I all was had my suspicions knowing him his whole life I definitely notice some things that probably only I would notice but I was hoping it was not the case but I fell today make make me feel 95% sure that it mite be the case. I feel like I'm in a delicate situation here. I feel like the best think I should do just stay quiet about and answer any questions that might come up. Leave my personal life out of it. I don't think I should have to say that but I just wanted to be clear about it and just let him ripping a hole in figure things out for himself. Maybe give him a small push in the right direction. I maybe over thinking this. On one hand I would hate for him to go through the same things I want throw but on the other I feel this is a journey hi has to take himself. I just hope he can fell costabile enough to be open to me if it is the case. I'm just asking am I doing the write thing am I over thinking this. CAN I GET HELP PLEAS!!! lol

Too often when we see others we want to help, we see a bit of ourselves in them. We feel the fear, the uncertainty, the shame, the self-loathing, and the loneliness in being an ABDL and we see some of those traits and possible hints and we want so badly to protect these people we love and care about to prevent them from that same hurt.

There are times in your life where you have to accept that you trying to help may actually make things worse...

I may be young, but I have worked with so many kids in my life and seen them grow from toddler to young adult and the hardest lesson has always been to let go as they grow older, because so often I have seen them as little kids and wanted to give them what I never had. Yet, some of my harshest lessons have been exactly why I am who I am today. For better or worse, I love myself exactly as I am. there are always things to improve on and change, so that I can grow and adapt in an ever changing world. There were definitely people who were there to help me when I needed them most. But there are some things I had to go through on my own. Not because people weren't able to help me, but because I needed those experiences in my life to help give me deep founded understanding on how to live the rest of my life.

Trust in this: You found out you were ABDL, right? You found a way to cope, you found a community to support you and you may have had to go through some serious hardships until you found some self-acceptance. Maybe you're still trying to find self-acceptance? the point being, deep down, you didn't need anyone to guide you on being an ABDL. You knew deep down that you were one and that made you naturally gravitate towards that side of you until you naturally found your guides when you were ready for them.

Imagine this: what if the kid isn't an ABDL? What if they have ABDL tendencies but they ultimately stem from other regressive phases in his life? Kids act things out to help them make sense of the world. Why does grandma have to wear pull-ups, I thought only babies wore pull-ups? What is a baby and did I only stopped being one when I started using the toilet? Do you become a baby again when you stop using the toilet? How do you cope with life when you're not a baby and people aren't doing things for you anymore? How did it feel to be a baby compared to how I feel now? Am I really that different from when I was a baby?

If he's an ABDL, he will know it eventually, and you won't have to guide him as one. You just stay present and there for him with open arms and an open heart so that he can approach you with ANYTHING. If he trusts that, he will trust talking to you about this. Or he won't. And if he doesn't that's okay, you're still there for him and you can still help guide him towards a happy fulfilled life even if you don't talk to him about ABDL.

Now imagine if he's NOT an ABDL. Imagine if he has confusing feelings and you explain to him that what he's feeling so he believes that he actually IS an ABDL. Now you have unintentionally manipulated and confused a kid into thinking that his questioning and acting out is actually something that you personally deal with. And it puts your personal business out there for a kid who shouldn't have to be a contributor to your little side. THAT will erode trust, and backfire horribly in your face where you only intended to help him and be there for him.


TL;DR Listen to the advice up top. Do what you're doing being an awesome uncle and let the kid come to you. You sound like you'll be there for him whether he's ABDL or not. Let him decide for himself who and what he is while you support him on his journey of self-discovery.

 

[matt1989]

Thanks guys. Like I said I help raised him and definitely noticed some signs over the years biggest one when he 5 and put on one of his younger cousin's pull up because he was curious. So in the back of my mind I kind of allows know but hoped that that would not be the Case. It just I can't help but think did I influence this in any way. I never did anything unappropriate around him I never even wear around him. I just worry that he would try something like fake bedwetting because we all knows how bad that can backfire or worse stilling them. I would think being ABDL myself you would think I would have all the answers for him but I don't. Part of me is still hoping that I'm wrong about this becuz yes this lifestyle brings me happiness but what I have to go thru to get to that point.

 

[BigKid25]

Thanks guys. Like I said I help raised him and definitely noticed some signs over the years biggest one when he 5 and put on one of his younger cousin's pull up because he was curious. So in the back of my mind I kind of allows know but hoped that that would not be the Case. It just I can't help but think did I influence this in any way. I never did anything unappropriate around him I never even wear around him. I just worry that he would try something like fake bedwetting because we all knows how bad that can backfire or worse stilling them. I would think being ABDL myself you would think I would have all the answers for him but I don't. Part of me is still hoping that I'm wrong about this becuz yes this lifestyle brings me happiness but what I have to go thru to get to that point.

Wearing a pull up at age 5 is not a big deal.

You're in panic mode from this potential realization and I'm telling you it's not necessary. It's okay for you to feel how you're feeling and it's okay for him to feel how he's feeling. Simple as that. Feelings and actions are 2 very different things though.

Please don't engage him by asking him about ABDL. Just keep doing what you're doing and stay present for him in totality. Don't go hunting for ABDL. If he starts faking bedwetting, deal with THAT. Deal with the behaviors as they come and don't try to make something out of this that may not be there. It will backfire if you do.

 

[RedPandaDL]

I understand your concerns, but think about what the odds are that he is actually ABDL. It is extremely unlikely. It is far more likely that he is just a curious little boy. If there is a pull-up available, why not try it on to see what it feels like.

Most likely you are just ultra sensitive to this because you are ABDL. He probably has no interest. I think the advice others have given is good advice.

 

[matt1989]

Ya your all right. I am most likely over thinking this.

 

[jojokelly]

I was Facebook friends with this woman I went to High School with. One day on Facebook she posted something about “not being able to live without my blankey.” Something like “blankey” or “wubby.” I private messaged her and asked if she wore diapers. I asked if she was into ageplay. She’s open minded; not the kind who’s an easy to freak out vanilla. She was freaked out. The “blankey” was some sweatshirt she loved wearing. She unfriended me; told another friend that I was harassing her.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Yep, that's one instance where ya ask for clarifying definitions.

 

[Savagefoxchild]

if the kid is older than 10 years old and he showing interest that's when you can talk to him about it
I got interested in that stuff around 8 years old but when I got really into thinking about it was when I was 10 but I didn't really practice any of it till I was in my twenties cuz I was scared to talk about it it took me till I was thirty years old to tell anyone about it I'm glad I did and I hate myself for doing it at the same time my mom totally hates it as long as I live with her I cannot practice it
for the longest time I had virtual environments to go to where I can be in ABDL
the virtual environment I hung out and was second life but it's dead when it comes to environments for abdl light environments where they don't do any sexual floor play this has been the most depressing year for me so far the more you want something and you can't have it the more depressed you get

when it comes to this kid keep an eye on him but don't interfere until he's in his teenage years you don't want to accidentally turn them into one it has to be natural

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Also, bear in mind age differences: if there's a considerable age gap between you two and others find out, you could be accused of grooming. Not a very good scene to be in, I imagine. You could have the noblest of intentions but parents & others can freak out and that will make a big mess...even if it's resolved and cooled off. That's one Pandora's Box that is more than likely better left closed.

 

[Savagefoxchild]

I was Facebook friends with this woman I went to High School with. One day on Facebook she posted something about “not being able to live without my blankey.” Something like “blankey” or “wubby.” I private messaged her and asked if she wore diapers. I asked if she was into ageplay. She’s open minded; not the kind who’s an easy to freak out vanilla. She was freaked out. The “blankey” was some sweatshirt she loved wearing. She unfriended me; told another friend that I was harassing her.

your mistake was using the word age play a lot of people associate that with raping children

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

your mistake was using the word age play a lot of people associate that with raping children

Not necessarily. People freak out over adult diapers, too...esp. over people who wear them without need and even take it that much further, Going Big Baby with it. And it's never easy getting a follow-up, asking the 'offended' why they reacted so.

 

[GermanDL]

As the most here said, keep being a good Uncle figure, answer is questions
and let you personal life out of it and don't push him in any direction.

If hes not ABDL and you misunderstand it, you will come up as the creepy
strange uncle when you tell him about ABDL life.

Let him figure that all out for himself and support him when he needs it.
You did not say how old he is, but i assume hes in puberty.
If that is correct he will try a lot of different things and see if it will
go along with him.

Maybe that is just some interest, and will wear of.
I tried some weird stuff in my puberty ^^'

 

[matt1989]

I'm just going let what ever happened happens and honestly my biggest fear is him going on sketchy websites. I'm shor that we all been there. As much as I hate to say it there are some gross smut out there and it as easy as typing in diapers on Google to find it.