I was intrigued at the thought of diapers at night for a very long time. After I was potty trained, my mom had me sleep in pull ups for about a week, but I never actually used or needed them, so that was the end of my diaper wearing as a toddler. I actually remember waking up dry and my mom commenting that I was dry and hadn’t had any accidents at night, so I wouldn’t need them anymore. That’s my only diaper memory from back then. My DL story is quite long, and goes back almost 20 years.
When I was 6 my parents divorced and my little sister and I moved with my mom into a shelter for 6 weeks so she could get on her feet. This was in the year 2000. While at the shelter, there was another family there with a boy, David, age 5, just younger than me. They came to the shelter a few weeks after my family did. After dinner most nights David would run around in just his underwear because it was warm in the shelter and most of the attendants wouldn’t turn on the A/C. One night David and I were playing in the common area together when his mom called him to their room to get ready for bed. I was hoping to keep playing, so I went to their room and looked in. I remembered seeing him wearing a pull up. I was surprised and ran back to the common area.
At the time I had somewhat of a knowledge of pull-ups. I remembered seeing commercials for them and I remembered my mom putting me in them briefly, so I immediately figured out that he must have accidents at night. This was also the year 2000, the same time they introduced the fading designs, which were being heavily promoted with commercials on Nickelodeon. Every night when David was called for bed I would follow him and peek into their room because I wanted to see the pull up.
A few days later David’s mom asked my mom if she would babysit and put her kids to bed so she could go out shopping. My mom agreed and David’s mom told her kids (there were two preteens that were siblings to David) to go get ready for bed early, but they could come back out and play for a while after. David went to get ready for bed wearing underwear, and of course, came back wearing just a pull up. I remember staring at first because it looked just like the commercials and I could see the star design (the fading part) that they showed in the commercials. After a few seconds of me staring he asked if I wanted to play and of course I did, and we played together for a while.
I’m not sure why I kept looking at the pull-up, but I kept staring at it often. It had Mickey on it, and the fading stars. I think it was probably because in the Pull-ups commercial, there were two boys playing and one of them told the one wearing the pull up, “cool, you’ve still got your stars”. I think I kept checking the stars because of the commercial, even though I didn’t expect his stars to go anywhere because he wasn’t sleeping. We had been playing for quite a while and he asked me if I wanted to play Chutes and Ladders, the board game. We got it out and went to set it up on the table and my mom intervened. She said we could play, but I had to get my pajamas on first. David said he would set up the game while I was getting ready.
I came back and he was ready. I looked under the table at his pull-up and was a bit surprised. The stars were still there, but the edges had gotten blurry. We were running around a lot before that, so at first I thought maybe it was just from running around. I kept looking under the table frequently, and it seemed like the stars kept getting blurrier every time I looked. He was playing the game with me though, and acting completely normal the whole time. Eventually my mom sent us to bed, and I went to bed still wondering why his stars were faded. As a 6 year old, it was unfathomable to me that he would pee in his pull up on purpose if he was awake.
As a kid I was a terrible insomniac. That night I remember laying awake in my family’s room, the door was open a crack and I could see into the hallway, and David’s mom had just returned from shopping. She and my mom were out in the common area talking. David and his siblings were still awake too as I could hear them jumping around in their family’s room across the hall. David’s mom went into their room to tell them to go to bed. Everything was quiet for about 2 minutes, then out of the silence David’s brother suddenly yelled, “Mom! David peed his diaper!”
I was stunned. I saw their mom walk by into their room. She told David to go into the bathroom and wait for her. I saw David walk by in his pull up, followed by his mom who I could see had a new pull up in her hand. I layed there and couldn’t believe that he peed his pull up on purpose, while we were playing. I had no memory of what a wet diaper felt like, but I had known what wet underwear were like from having a couple of accidents. Because I didn’t know any different I thought a wet diaper or pull up would feel the same as wet underwear. I couldn’t imagine why he would do that or how he could handle what I thought at the time would be a cold, wet feeling. My curiosity was piqued. We moved out of the shelter about a week later. Other than sneaking a few glances into their bedroom during the following few evenings, I didn’t really see much. After we moved I never saw David again.
Shortly after moving into our new house, my little sister and I started going to daycare in the home of one of my mom’s old friends, Karen. Karen had a son named Daniel who was the same age as me...at that time we were both 6 1/2 and were in 1st grade. We went to different schools (I went to private school) but rode the bus together and played together every day at Karen’s house. In the mornings, my mom would drop us off around 6:40. Karen woke Daniel up at 7:00 every morning, we would eat breakfast together, then he would go in the bathroom and get dressed before we would get on the bus for school.
Right around the same time we started going to Karen’s house for daycare, my sister was 2 1/2 and in the middle of potty training. Weirdly, I never thought anything of my sister wearing diapers. David still wearing pull-ups at night had fascinated me, however. My sister was still a baby and had worn them since she was born...maybe that’s why I never thought much about it? I was fascinated by David wearing the diaper, but not my sister. Seems strange now, but I digress.
My sister was using the potty consistently at Karen’s house, but was still having difficulties at home. One day we got to Karen’s house and had breakfast. The bus was later than usual, and Karen asked me if I would grab my sister’s underwear out of her bag, since she was going to change her into them. I handed her the underwear and she asked if I would throw away my sister’s diaper. I brought it into the bathroom to throw it away. As I was throwing it away, I noticed a pull up in the trash that looked EXACTLY like the ones David wore. Just then Karen yelled that the bus had pulled up, so I dropped my sister’s diaper in and ran for the bus.
Later that day when we got back to Karen’s, I went directly into the bathroom to look in the trash. Upon closer examination, there were actually 3 pull-ups in the trash. I took them out and could see green-ish streaks on each one where the stars had been. Apparently I had been in there quite a while because Karen knocked on the door and asked if I was alright. I told her I was and put the pull-ups back in the trash and washed my hands. I came out and Karen asked why I didn’t flush the toilet, I told her I forgot and dashed back in to flush it. I was embarrassed because I didn’t actually use the bathroom. Now I was trying to figure out which kid the pull-ups belonged to, since my sister was the only potty-training age kid there.
For the next couple months, every time I went into the bathroom I found a pull up in the trash with faded stars. It was about 5 months later (spring 2001) that I finally figured out who they belonged to. Every morning when Daniel came down for breakfast, he was wrapped in a blanket. He took his pajamas off upstairs and put them in the hamper before coming down. Karen had his clothes ready for him downstairs every day, so that he could get dressed in the bathroom after breakfast. One morning we were eating breakfast and Daniel’s blanket had fallen down on one side. I looked over and was extremely shocked...he was wearing a pull up!
So, I had figured out who the pull-ups belonged to. I had never even suspected Daniel, because he was the same age as me - we were both 7 by this time. I remember it being difficult to wrap my head around the fact that someone the same age as me was still wearing a diaper. Then I started noticing the pull up quite a bit when he would come down in the mornings, and even noticed that his underwear were always on top of the pile of clothes his mom gave him - to put on once he took the pull up off.
My curiosity was piqued again. The part that was the most interesting to me was that he would eat breakfast sitting in the wet pull up. As I mentioned earlier, my belief at the time was that a wet diaper/pull up felt the same as wet underwear. I couldn’t imagine why he didn’t want to get dressed before he ate. I remember thinking quite often how happy I was that I didn’t need to wear pull-ups at night, even though I was still extremely curious about it.
It wasn’t long after that we switched daycares because my mom got a different job. I had mostly forgotten about Daniel and the pull-ups. Occasionally diaper samples would come in the mail to our house. My mom would order them for my little sister to put on her dolls. Usually the ones that came were small. Size 3 or so if I had to guess now. They were just diapers so I didn’t think much of them.
It was winter of 2002-03, and Pampers had released Easy Ups just a few months earlier. I was 9. One day, an Easy Ups sample came in the mail. I was in my room playing with my LEGO and my sister was playing at a friend’s house. My mom came into my room and told me I should see if my friend across the street wanted to play. I saw her holding the Easy Up and I was curious, because it looked like a pull up. I heard her go into my sister’s room and come back out. I told her I would finish what I was building and then check with my friend. As soon as she was downstairs I went into my sister’s room to investigate. Sure enough, she had put the Easy Up on top of my sister’s doll chest. I grabbed it, flew into my room, and looked at it. As I was holding it and looking at the green stars, I remembered David peeing his pull-up voluntarily. Then I thought about Daniel and how he would sit in his wet pull-up and eat breakfast. I thought about putting it on, then chickened out. I stashed it in my closet and went across the street to play.
It was April 12, 2003. I was 9 1/2. My mom had told me that I needed to clean my room - more specifically, my closet. I got to work. As I was going through all of my toys, I came across the Easy Up I had tossed in there several weeks earlier. I thought about Daniel and David again and decided I at least wanted to know what it felt like to wear one. So, I took my pants and underwear off and put it on. Just then I heard my mom coming up the stairs. I didn’t have time to take it off, so I quickly put my underwear and pants back on over it. She came in and said we needed to go over to her boyfriend’s house (his adult daughter was having an issue of some kind) and we needed to leave right away. I had no time to change out of the Easy Up, so I ended up having to keep it on.
Once we were at my mom’s boyfriend’s house, the two of them set my sister and I up in the living room watching the Kids Choice Awards on Nickelodeon. They went into his bedroom and left my sister and I basically by ourselves. My sister wasn’t really watching the show, as she had brought her BRATZ dolls to play with. As I was watching I had to go to the bathroom. I had almost forgotten I had the Easy Up on. I was waiting for a commercial and thought...I don’t have to wait for a commercial...I can just pee. So I did! I felt the warm sensation spread across the front of the diaper. When the next commercial came on, I ran to the bathroom to check it out.
I pulled down my pants and underwear to see the Easy Up...there were green smudges where the stars used to be. Then I realized...it was still warm. I was wrong about it being a cold and damp feeling. This feeling was great! It also had a satisfying squishiness that I enjoyed. I went back to the living room to watch the show. I peed in it all afternoon, periodically checking it in the bathroom and seeing how thick and squishy it was getting. When we got home I took it off and tossed it in my closet.
The next day I noticed the smell from the used Easy Up. I knew I needed to figure out how to throw it away, but couldn’t figure out how to get it past my mom. I put it in a ziploc bag and put it back in my closet. That worked, for a few more days, then I started to smell it again. Then my mom started to smell it and kept getting after me to “find whatever died in my closet”. Finally one day she took a nap after work and I was able to grab it and run it to the outside trash. That was the last I thought about diapers for a couple of years, since my curiosity had been satisfied up to that point.
It was summer of 2005. I was 11, and the last experience I had with diapers back in early 2003 with the Easy Up. I hadn’t really thought much about diapers since I went through the fiasco of trying to dispose of the one I had used. I was old enough to stay home a lot by myself, but once school let out for the summer, I went to the babysitter with my sister so I wasn’t lonely all day. Besides, the babysitter had “The Sims” on her computer, which I enjoyed playing. I was playing Sims one day and had to use the bathroom really bad. I went into the bathroom and the cupboard door was open slightly. I went to shut it and out of the corner of my eye caught a glimpse of a stack of girls pull ups. I opened the door back up and grabbed one. I looked at it and it had Disney princesses and the fading designs. I thought back to using the Easy Up and how nice it was to not have to get up to use the bathroom while watching TV.
I peed in the toilet, then quietly slipped on the pull-up. It was a lot tighter than the Easy Up had been, but I was also 2 years older. I was a small kid, but it BARELY fit me. I went back to playing my game. A little while later, I had to pee. So I just went. Again I felt the warmth and could feel the squishiness when I moved. I loved it. After 3 small uses my mom showed up. I ran to the bathroom to take it off but realized the babysitter might wonder why there was a used pull-up in the trash. So, instead of taking it off, I decided I would just take it off at home. I grabbed one more pull up from the stack and shoved it down my pants to take home.
When I got home I went to my room and took out the unused pull-up and took the used one off. I dropped it out my windows and then went outside to put it in the outside trash. That is how I ended up getting rid of my trash diapers for a long time. I hid the clean pull-up in my room. The next day at the babysitter’s I grabbed another pull-up from the stack and put it on. I decided I would only take one more after that because the pile was starting to get smaller and I didn’t want anyone to wonder where they went. I wore the pull-up and was wetting it a little bit here and there throughout the day. I was really enjoying it.
Most days my babysitter’s granddaughter, who was almost 2, would be there. Her mom would bring a diaper bag everyday and set it on the floor in the dining room. The dining room was off the main room and the only time anyone went through it was as a shortcut to get to the hallway with a bathroom. I was heading to the bathroom to try and figure out what to do with the soaked pull-up I was wearing, and I saw diapers sticking out of the bag. I looked around and no one was looking so I took one and sprinted into the bathroom. That was my first introduction to tape-on style diapers.
I got the diaper to the bathroom and opened it up. It had Blues Clues on it and a number 4. I had no idea about diaper sizes at this point, but I later came to learn that it was a Luvs. This was before Luvs had the stretchy sides. I took the pull-up off and stashed it in the back of the cabinet. I figured I could put it back on before I left for the day to take it home and throw it away. Then I attempted to put on the Luvs. I laid down with my butt on the diaper and pulled it between my legs. There was JUST enough material for the tapes to land on the outer wing part of the diaper. I stood up and looked in the mirror. I was wearing a diaper.
The granddaughter’s diaper bag turned out to be a goldmine. I could sneak a diaper out of the diaper bag almost every time I walked by. I would take 2-3 every day and the next day the supply would always be replenished. I usually used 1-2 at the babysitter, and would stuff 1 or 2 down my pants to take home. With the Luvs I could dispose of them in the kitchen garbage at the babysitter’s and nobody would look twice because they would think they were the granddaughter’s. Over the rest of the summer I spent every day in a diaper, even though by the end of summer I was having a harder and harder time getting the tapes to fasten...I was growing. I had built up quite a nice stash at home by the time summer was over too.
That September on my first day of 6th grade, I started my first paper route. I was starting to make money. With a lot of new things going on, diapers moved to the back burner for a while. In October we had a school in-service day, and I went to the babysitter for the day with my sister. In the time since I had last been there she started watching a new little girl. The granddaughter wasn’t there that day, but I wondered if the new little girl wore diapers. Sure enough the babysitter went in the dining room to get a diaper out of her bag to change her. On my next trip through the dining room I snagged a diaper and shoved it down my pants. There wasn’t much time before my mom came, so I didn’t attempt to put it on while I was there.
Once I got home I took the diaper out and stashed it in my closet. A short while later my mom said she was going to the store and asked if I wanted to come with. I thought this would be a perfect time to try out the diaper I snagged. I declined the invitation and she left. I went into the bathroom and started looking at it. The sides were slightly stretchy, and it had a number 5 on it. I realized at that point that diapers must be sized by numbers because this 5 was bigger than the 4s I had been using all summer. I thought at the time that it was probably the biggest diaper size because the girl that was wearing it was probably 3 1/2.
I taped the diaper on, and the tapes actually stretched to the far edges of the landing strip!
I was so excited. This was the best fitting diaper I had tried yet. I had been holding my pee and I let it flow out. It was great. I wasn’t sure how long my mom was going to be gone, so I was about to take it off. Just then, I got the urge to poop. It had been since before I was potty trained that I pooped in a diaper so I hesitated for a minute, not sure what to expect. I figured I was home alone, I already had the diaper on, and I wanted to try it. So when the next urge came, I didn’t fight it. I pushed just a bit and within seconds there was a load in the back of the diaper.
That moment was quite possibly the best moment I’ve had as a DL. The front was still warm and the load in the back was warm and heavy. I sat on the toilet lid and it squished. After a few minutes I cleaned up and disposed of the diaper. I knew I wanted more of those size 5s, but didn’t really have access to a store alone. For the next few months I didn’t have much access to diapers, and occasionally used one of the 4s from my stash, but diaper wearing basically went on the back burner again.
In April of 2006, I went with my grandma on a trip to visit my cousin for his 2nd birthday. I was 12 and my diaper stash was almost completely empty. While we were there I wanted to check to see what diapers my little cousin had. I was hoping to find more 5s. I snuck off into his room and found a stack of diapers. I grabbed one off the top and started looking for a number. I was shocked to see a 6! I was so excited, after how much I enjoyed the 5, this had to be even better. I took it into the bathroom and put it on. The tapes stretched so far...I was able to put the tapes on the landing strip with ease. I pulled my pants up and walked out and was so excited it was like I was on a cloud. Before we left I grabbed 6 of them from the box and hid them in my grandma’s trunk. I enjoyed wearing these so much, I knew I had to buy my own.
I was still doing my paper route, so I had a pretty steady cash flow at the time, for a 12 year old. I decided I was going to ride my bike to the store and buy some of those size 6 diapers like I found at my cousin’s house. I got to the store and went down the diaper aisle. I had never realized how many different varieties and lines there were until that point. I found the purple packaging Cruisers like my cousin had and started looking for the size 6. Much to my surprise, right next to the size 6 was a SIZE 7!! I knew this was what I had to buy, and I fantasized all the way home about how well these even bigger diapers were going to fit me. I was right. It was at that point, I was hooked.
Ever since then I have bought myself diapers regularly. Toward the end of 2006 I got myself a prepaid debit card and ordered my first Goodnites from eBay. I had remembered seeing commercials for them and wanted to try them, but I was too scared a cashier at a store would think i was buying them for myself...so I bought them off of eBay instead. I remember getting them and putting one on for the first time and looking in the mirror. I thought to myself that this is the first time I was wearing a diaper that was actually meant for someone my age. It was great. From that point on, I saved one or two of every diaper style I ever bought, and I still have that collection today.
A few years later I discovered Internet forums and people encouraging me to try adult diapers. Unfortunately, I don’t have the same draw to them. I’ve never liked any of them, and I especially disliked the ones that were made specifically for the AB market. I would honestly not wear diapers at all than wear adult diapers. For about 5 months back in 2013 I diapered myself 24/7, but it got to be a bit too much, so I went back to wearing only a few times per week. Anyway, that’s my story about how I became a DL. If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
