May I ask what you are expecting from her? I mean are you wanting a romantic relationship and just have to reveal the extent of your medical condition so she is aware of it? Or are you wanting her to be a part of it?jessraven said:i‘ve been seeing a new person for the past month and it seems like it’s getting more serious. It’s sort of long distance and we have not spent the night together yet...but it’s going to happen very soon. I’ve had to totally hide my incontinence problems. I even wore pads and panties and always discretes, and removed them before intimacy (thank god I didn’t have an accident)...and I even fasted and cut back on liquids so I won’t like have anything in me to go...yes I know it’s crazy and not sustainable...but I really like her. she knows I have “pee problems,” and I have told her I have leaks....I haven’t told her that I diaper 24/7. like today I was on the phone with her in a FaceTime and I had to go off camera as I literally peed and pooped my diaper while I was talking with her while I was on my walk. She asked if I was ok and I told her I had to go...and I called her back. It just raised the whole topic in my head...I can’t hide thismuch longer and I’m terrified....omg and I worry if I tell her and it doesn’t work out...that she’d out me...
i REALLY need to hear some happy endings with this and any advice on “Having the conversation”? I guess I won’t know until I try...Never been in this position before because I’m now fully 24/7 and I wasn’t before....but anytime it got serious in the past once they found out i peed myself it got weird....not even talking about the other... help
I’m glad it’s going well so far. Continue to be honest and true to her and yourself. I got into trouble telling half truths because I was ashamed of me and in turn it led to more “uncomfortable” conversations down the road. I wish you the best of luck and I am glad you are getting supper here!jessraven said:
I know exactly what you mean!jessraven said:
).
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DreamerBen said:I know exactly what you mean!
The girl I like seems sweet and understanding. But we don't know each other very well yet. Wet met because we have common friends but I believe non of them knows how incontinent I am. I mostly saw them this summer for a drink or dinner outside. Mostly in the same bar with a nice terrace with very convenient toilets (close to the terrace with fully closing stalls and big trash bins inside
Anyway we are talking a lot (even by phone) but are not really dating yet. Maybe one day ?
One evening it was only the two of us at the end of the dinner. She told me that she noticed my "mad runs" to the bathrooms. Like this time weirdly just after our dessert arrived. Couldn't I just wait 10 minutes to eat the cake?
I couldn't reply immediately and I believe my cheeks became quite red. I couldn't talk to her about neurological issues, OAB, leaks...
So I only said that my bladder is very sensitive and that I indeed need the bathroom often and without delays sine I'm a young girl. Which is true. Only omitted the quite constant leaks, smells, bedwetting and protections
She doesn't seems to make a big deal out of it. Being understanding she realised that it might be difficult to deal with on a daily basis. Also trying to make a joke about her mother who is always looking for the toilets when outside. To be honest, I don't remember exactly but didn't find it funny
Like you, I fear the conversation about the "weird" parts. And the worst would be when she will realise that I wear a wet protection. I don't want her to look at me like that!
I know you're terrified of that next conversation, but as someone who has successfully come out the other side of it, I would tell you to reframe the issue in your head. Instead of fearing how it could change the way she looks at you, think of it in terms of what you can gain! Someone who accepts you AND the problem, and likes/loves you all the same!DreamerBen said:I know exactly what you mean!
The girl I like seems sweet and understanding. But we don't know each other very well yet. Wet met because we have common friends but I believe non of them knows how incontinent I am. I mostly saw them this summer for a drink or dinner outside. Mostly in the same bar with a nice terrace with very convenient toilets (close to the terrace with fully closing stalls and big trash bins inside
Anyway we are talking a lot (even by phone) but are not really dating yet. Maybe one day ?
One evening it was only the two of us at the end of the dinner. She told me that she noticed my "mad runs" to the bathrooms. Like this time weirdly just after our dessert arrived. Couldn't I just wait 10 minutes to eat the cake?
I couldn't reply immediately and I believe my cheeks became quite red. I couldn't talk to her about neurological issues, OAB, leaks...
So I only said that my bladder is very sensitive and that I indeed need the bathroom often and without delays sine I'm a young girl. Which is true. Only omitted the quite constant leaks, smells, bedwetting and protections
She doesn't seems to make a big deal out of it. Being understanding she realised that it might be difficult to deal with on a daily basis. Also trying to make a joke about her mother who is always looking for the toilets when outside. To be honest, I don't remember exactly but didn't find it funny
Like you, I fear the conversation about the "weird" parts. And the worst would be when she will realise that I wear a wet protection. I don't want her to look at me like that!
Thank youHoneySnow said:
Thank youJolandaH said:
Thank younewt said:
Thank you for sharing your story and your message.Tenaman said:
I believe I am repeating what everyone has already said: just be honest!jessraven said:i‘ve been seeing a new person for the past month and it seems like it’s getting more serious. It’s sort of long distance and we have not spent the night together yet...but it’s going to happen very soon. I’ve had to totally hide my incontinence problems. I even wore pads and panties and always discretes, and removed them before intimacy (thank god I didn’t have an accident)...and I even fasted and cut back on liquids so I won’t like have anything in me to go
i REALLY need to hear some happy endings with this and any advice on “Having the conversation”? I guess I won’t know until I try...Never been in this position before because I’m now fully 24/7 and I wasn’t before....but anytime it got serious in the past once they found out i peed myself it got weird....not even talking about the other... help
Thank you for sharingJustAnotherIC said:
I would like to update my situation since this summer.DreamerBenenedicte said:I know exactly what you mean!
The girl I like seems sweet and understanding. But we don't know each other very well yet. Wet met because we have common friends but I believe non of them knows how incontinent I am. I mostly saw them this summer for a drink or dinner outside. Mostly in the same bar with a nice terrace with very convenient toilets (close to the terrace with fully closing stalls and big trash bins inside
Anyway we are talking a lot (even by phone) but are not really dating yet. Maybe one day ?
One evening it was only the two of us at the end of the dinner. She told me that she noticed my "mad runs" to the bathrooms. Like this time weirdly just after our dessert arrived. Couldn't I just wait 10 minutes to eat the cake?
I couldn't reply immediately and I believe my cheeks became quite red. I couldn't talk to her about neurological issues, OAB, leaks...
So I only said that my bladder is very sensitive and that I indeed need the bathroom often and without delays sine I'm a young girl. Which is true. Only omitted the quite constant leaks, smells, bedwetting and protections
She doesn't seems to make a big deal out of it. Being understanding she realised that it might be difficult to deal with on a daily basis. Also trying to make a joke about her mother who is always looking for the toilets when outside. To be honest, I don't remember exactly but didn't find it funny
Like you, I fear the conversation about the "weird" parts. And the worst would be when she will realise that I wear a wet protection. I don't want her to look at me like that!
. Only said that she understood and that it must be difficult to manage. Also asked me if I can hope for medical solutions. 
. Her answer was that be with me always means adapt the program to make toilet brakes possible, dealing with protections, leaks and smell even in front of other people... The worst part was that she admitted that she couldn't stand that her bed and sheets smells like my nighttime protections.
Sorry that your relationship did not work.DreamerBenenedicte said:I would like to update my situation since this summer.
Dating while urinary issues is complicated...
In September and October we had few dates. To be honest I was in love with her and was doing my best to impress her. New hair cut, clothes... Also I wore the thinnest protection possible (Tena Lady pads) in order to try to hide or minimise my real issues around her. Of course I couldn't hide the constant trips to the bathroom. She knew about my protections, and even saw the bags in my bathroom. But she never saw me naked in them. And I didn't left a wet one in her house.
At first we had wonderful times. I was taking it slow but we had sex in my bed one afternoon in November. I showered before and with both loved it. I was in heaven
She insisted to spend the night in my bed afterwards. It became real about revealing my true incontinence issues. I had to show up with a big Molicare pull up under my pyjamas. She saw the bulge and smiled trying to reassure me. She seems quite as embarrassed as me but told me that she new about the bigger protections because they saw them in my bathroom. And figured I would need more help during the night.
That night I did set my alarm on order to get up first and took a shower. When I came back in my room, we cuddled and had sex again
I was so reassured and confident that the night after I invited her again but didn't think about the alarm in the morning. Maybe also because we had some wine in the evening... But in the morning my worst fear came true. We woke up at the same time. And without thinking, half asleep, I let her cuddle me. Until she touched my butt, obviously wanting for more, and suddenly moved away.
I realised immediately what was wrong. I was feeling very wet and it also had leaked into my pyjamas and bed. She looked at me questioningly without speaking. So I went for a rant trying to explain that I couldn't help it. That I very rarely wet so much that even the bed is wet. That I usually manage by drinking less in the evening, wearing this type of protection and shower in the morning.
She seems a bit sad. Her look was not as supportive as I had hoped
When I finally lifted the sheets to go to the shower, we both noticed the smell and the small stain under me and onto my pyjamas. When I went back in my bedroom afterwards, she wasn't theire but the window was opened.
We didn't talk about it during the rest of the day except in the afternoon. My pad leaked a bit on my pants while we were at some common friend. I replaced the pad but she noticed the very small patch on my pant. If was uncomfortable so we left.
We were supposed to sleep in her apartment. But she bluntly told me that she would prefer sleep alone and rest. I told her that I would be better prepared than the night before, without too much drinking in the afternoon / evening and that she can sleep at home if that's the concern.
During the ride home, the admitted that she needed time to think about our relationship. That she wasn't ready for that. I cringed and asked what was "that"?
I never saw her again
Sorry to hear it didn’t work out.DreamerBenenedicte said:I would like to update my situation since this summer.
Dating while urinary issues is complicated...
In September and October we had few dates. To be honest I was in love with her and was doing my best to impress her. New hair cut, clothes... Also I wore the thinnest protection possible (Tena Lady pads) in order to try to hide or minimise my real issues around her. Of course I couldn't hide the constant trips to the bathroom. She knew about my protections, and even saw the bags in my bathroom. But she never saw me naked in them. And I didn't left a wet one in her house.
At first we had wonderful times. I was taking it slow but we had sex in my bed one afternoon in November. I showered before and with both loved it. I was in heaven
She insisted to spend the night in my bed afterwards. It became real about revealing my true incontinence issues. I had to show up with a big Molicare pull up under my pyjamas. She saw the bulge and smiled trying to reassure me. She seems quite as embarrassed as me but told me that she new about the bigger protections because they saw them in my bathroom. And figured I would need more help during the night.
That night I did set my alarm on order to get up first and took a shower. When I came back in my room, we cuddled and had sex again
I was so reassured and confident that the night after I invited her again but didn't think about the alarm in the morning. Maybe also because we had some wine in the evening... But in the morning my worst fear came true. We woke up at the same time. And without thinking, half asleep, I let her cuddle me. Until she touched my butt, obviously wanting for more, and suddenly moved away.
I realised immediately what was wrong. I was feeling very wet and it also had leaked into my pyjamas and bed. She looked at me questioningly without speaking. So I went for a rant trying to explain that I couldn't help it. That I very rarely wet so much that even the bed is wet. That I usually manage by drinking less in the evening, wearing this type of protection and shower in the morning.
She seems a bit sad. Her look was not as supportive as I had hoped
When I finally lifted the sheets to go to the shower, we both noticed the smell and the small stain under me and onto my pyjamas. When I went back in my bedroom afterwards, she wasn't theire but the window was opened.
We didn't talk about it during the rest of the day except in the afternoon. My pad leaked a bit on my pants while we were at some common friend. I replaced the pad but she noticed the very small patch on my pant. If was uncomfortable so we left.
We were supposed to sleep in her apartment. But she bluntly told me that she would prefer sleep alone and rest. I told her that I would be better prepared than the night before, without too much drinking in the afternoon / evening and that she can sleep at home if that's the concern.
During the ride home, the admitted that she needed time to think about our relationship. That she wasn't ready for that. I cringed and asked what was "that"?
I never saw her again