Going from “minimal control” to “no control” mindset feels like a bigger adjustment than it actually is.

[enthusi]

I’m not looking for help coping. This has been a long time coming and I like being diaper dependent. I’m more or less sharing this as an observation.

Recently it occurred to me that my sphincter is so incapacitated that removing it completely wouldn’t make me any more incontinent. And even though nothing has really changed, things are totally different for me. I noticed that if when I treat my sphincter and bladder control as basically non-existent life gets so much easier for me.

It seems to have something to do with the concept of “accidents”. As long as you have some bladder control, you have agency over your situation. If you try to stay dry and you can’t, it’s an accident. On the other hand, when you accept that you have zero control, you can’t even intend to stay dry.

Up until now, I’ve always conceptualized my diaper as offering protection against accidents. But ever since I realized I’m beyond the point of having accidents, it’s like my diaper is simply how I deal with all the urine my body produces. Again, a small but powerful reframe.

I’m curious if it was like this for anyone else? Especially those who slowly lost bladder control. Was there a point where you realized you weren’t capable of having accidents because you weren’t capable of not having them? How did that go?

 

[sport1]

I’m not looking for help coping. This has been a long time coming and I like being diaper dependent. I’m more or less sharing this as an observation.

Recently it occurred to me that my sphincter is so incapacitated that removing it completely wouldn’t make me any more incontinent. And even though nothing has really changed, things are totally different for me. I noticed that if when I treat my sphincter and bladder control as basically non-existent life gets so much easier for me.

It seems to have something to do with the concept of “accidents”. As long as you have some bladder control, you have agency over your situation. If you try to stay dry and you can’t, it’s an accident. On the other hand, when you accept that you have zero control, you can’t even intend to stay dry.

Up until now, I’ve always conceptualized my diaper as offering protection against accidents. But ever since I realized I’m beyond the point of having accidents, it’s like my diaper is simply how I deal with all the urine my body produces. Again, a small but powerful reframe.

I’m curious if it was like this for anyone else? Especially those who slowly lost bladder control. Was there a point where you realized you weren’t capable of having accidents because you weren’t capable of not having them? How did that go?

I am being a older person and slowly losing some control of bodily functions is a pain

 

[Deleted member 63976]

I’m not looking for help coping. This has been a long time coming and I like being diaper dependent. I’m more or less sharing this as an observation.

Recently it occurred to me that my sphincter is so incapacitated that removing it completely wouldn’t make me any more incontinent. And even though nothing has really changed, things are totally different for me. I noticed that if when I treat my sphincter and bladder control as basically non-existent life gets so much easier for me.

It seems to have something to do with the concept of “accidents”. As long as you have some bladder control, you have agency over your situation. If you try to stay dry and you can’t, it’s an accident. On the other hand, when you accept that you have zero control, you can’t even intend to stay dry.

Up until now, I’ve always conceptualized my diaper as offering protection against accidents. But ever since I realized I’m beyond the point of having accidents, it’s like my diaper is simply how I deal with all the urine my body produces. Again, a small but powerful reframe.

I’m curious if it was like this for anyone else? Especially those who slowly lost bladder control. Was there a point where you realized you weren’t capable of having accidents because you weren’t capable of not having them? How did that go?

Unrelated but, I can see a point in there. There's something in IBS called the IBS cycle (you feel the urgency symptoms, feel anxious that you'll mess, and then make the symptoms worse because of the anxiety). So maybe before you felt you needed to go and rushed to the bathroom, or tried to hold it in, but now everything's smoother for you because you know "it is what it is". Such a pain to be IC! I'm very sorry for you.

 

[sport1]

Unrelated but, I can see a point in there. There's something in IBS called the IBS cycle (you feel the urgency symptoms, feel anxious that you'll mess, and then make the symptoms worse because of the anxiety). So maybe before you felt you needed to go and rushed to the bathroom, or tried to hold it in, but now everything's smoother for you because you know "it is what it is". Such a pain to be IC! I'm very sorry for you.

Thank you. I have learned to live with it.

 

[Twinmom]

There's been times at night when I know I'll never make it to the bathroom. Instead of possibly disturbing my roommates I just stay in my room and allow my self to wet my diaper in my room. But always under no control of my own