Feel out of place in the babyfur community recently.

[Gooberology]

I got involved in this community back in 2017, I was going through high school, I was processing a lot of feelings I had had since childhood, and a lot of parental issues and childhood trauma. Like a lot of people, I had an interest in diapers from a young age, and I found like minded people to confide in. Through all the stress and strife in my life, I resonated with quaint, wholesome AR pictures, depicting playground visits, sleep overs, etc. I felt like I had people that understood me.

I should say this isn't a kink for me, I have my problems but the wholesome warmth and peace I get from being an ABDL is one of the things I treasure most. I understand that it is a kink for many people, and I don't have a problem with that. But since ~2020, I noticed just how rare quaint art like that is nowadays. Artists that never allowed nsfw, now drawing more and more sexual content. Even when it isn't, it heavily emphasizes diaper usage over relatable nostalgic themes. It was such a gradual change I didn't even realize it until years later. I know its a personal matter, I'm not here to debate controversy or stir the pot, but I do think its a quantifiable shift in intention.

I feel so conflicted, to see people I admire change, and to feel increasingly estranged in a community I felt I could be understood for who I was.
A lot of that is why i came to ADISC last year, was to get back in touch with that feeling. But outside of ADISC, I couldn't feel more out of place than around artists and their fans.
Part of me just wants to know if people understand how I feel. I can't change people, and I don't expect to, but the feeling of being alone in this chips away at me.

 

[ianwee]

Gooberology ... I understand how you must feel. But times and attitudes ... and people ... can and do gradually change sometimes.
I am glad though that seem to be implying that you feel safe and part of the adisc community now that you have returned here.
I'm sure you are not alone here and there are other people here who might feel the same way as you do - but you are right - we might be able to influence other people but we can't reasonably expect to be able to change them. But you, yourself, have probably changed in some ways during the time since you were at high school, as we all do with the passing of time, and at different stages in our lives.
I hope you do find that other people here are understanding. I joined adisc about nine months ago, and have found people here to be kind, understanding, sensitive and empathic - even though they may have different likes. dislikes, views, feelings and opinions to my own. The ability to communicate freely with others who are broadly speaking 'like-minded' is surely one of the great strengths of this community, and I hope you will find this out for yourself.

 

[Gooberology]

I know its not as clear cut as that, that it isn't magically everyone else's fault for changing or anything like that. I know I've changed as well, and not always for the better. I was changing along with the community, and started doing things I regret. I'm not innocent at all. Trying to be better has been the hardest thing I've done in my life. The harder i try to make my own path, the more it feels like im at odds with the community. Its also possible it might not be the community, but just the sphere I was in. Part of me thinks about that when im here. The artists that give me a lot of heartache, that my friends like, that felt like my whole ABDL world, I haven't even seen mentioned here.

I guess this is a large transitional phase for me in life. I know what I want, I wish I could live my life with none of this affecting me. But I'm so set in my ways that trying to be better and letting go feels like pulling out teeth. It's terrifying.

 

[ianwee]

I know its not as clear cut as that, that it isn't magically everyone else's fault for changing or anything like that. I know I've changed as well, and not always for the better. I was changing along with the community, and started doing things I regret. I'm not innocent at all. Trying to be better has been the hardest thing I've done in my life. The harder i try to make my own path, the more it feels like im at odds with the community. Its also possible it might not be the community, but just the sphere I was in. Part of me thinks about that when im here. The artists that give me a lot of heartache, that my friends like, that felt like my whole ABDL world, I haven't even seen mentioned here.

I guess this is a large transitional phase for me in life. I know what I want, I wish I could live my life with none of this affecting me. But I'm so set in my ways that trying to be better and letting go feels like pulling out teeth. It's terrifying.

Sure I understand. It is hard when changes are forced on us and we have to adapt. Any transitions can be difficult , and yes, I know that it is often difficult to manage external changes at the same time as having to move on with your life. Sometimes we do have to make a break with our past, and even with some of the people in our past, and try to create a new identity for ourselves within a new (or changed) environment. Change is easier for us if we feel we have some measure of control over the changes - even if we don't like those changes - and sometimes we have to re-evaluate what is really most important to us, and even abandon or at least revise our previous aims and priorities.
Whatever has happened to you may feel impossible to fac e and deal with right now. Perhaps you need to stop and take a break for a while before you can come to terms with what has happened to you before you can fully embrace the process of change. I am no expert, but if chatting might help in any way, I do log in here at some point almost every day, and am happy to discuss things with you if you think it would help.

 

[Gooberology]

I think you misunderstand, you make it sound like I should give up. I'm not embracing the mistakes I made. I changed, then slowly became uncomfortable, who i was wasn't what I wanted out of being an ABDL, and I'm fighting to make things right. Staying who I was and continuing to make mistakes that haunt me would be the easiest thing I could do. But doing the right thing is hard, and doesn't have immediate gratification. Relapsing is significantly worse than the pain I feel trying to be better.

But I need to understand that not everything is as bad as it seems in my head. My own mentality is making this a nightmare for me.

 

[PoofsNFloofs]

I've actually noticed a trend of suppression of explicit sexual expression in babyfur social spaces. As with anything, one can usually find what they're looking for if they search hard enough and long enough. I'd suggest Discord and Amino for social spaces if you're looking for something more "wholesome." As for art and stories, just keep working with the content filters and keywords on sites.

 

[foxkits]

I understand change.
I used being abdl as my happy place do to abuse from others while I grew up. We do change how we feel over time . We tend to be so hard on ourselves. I enjoy the art . Foxtail times storys about Santa paws is a favorite. It's one day at a time when you are abdl we do the best we can
Some of the artists have shifted more sexual it sells there commissions for some it's very sexual. Some not so much.
I have gone through a lot of binge purge cycles. Over the years.
As I have thought about different things. I know I have a happy place.
Being little takes me there when I'm stressed. It's how I have been.
In the more innocent stuff you only need to unchecked adult mature setting when you search fa it will show you non sexual art and stories.
I been in the fandom since 2000
Your ok we do change as we go along the things that makes us happy stay with us and are a part of us . See the positive of you .
Been there myself.

 

[ianwee]

I think you misunderstand, you make it sound like I should give up. I'm not embracing the mistakes I made. I changed, then slowly became uncomfortable, who i was wasn't what I wanted out of being an ABDL, and I'm fighting to make things right. Staying who I was and continuing to make mistakes that haunt me would be the easiest thing I could do.

Sorry if I misunderstood what you were saying!

But doing the right thing is hard, and doesn't have immediate gratification. Relapsing is significantly worse than the pain I feel trying to be better.

You're right there - doing the right thing is often hard, but you are doing that and I admire you for it.

But I need to understand that not everything is as bad as it seems in my head. My own mentality is making this a nightmare for me.

Things often seem worse that they really are when we continuously worry about them. Sometimes it helps to try to put stuff into perspective by taking a break from thinking about it for a while - like doing something completely different to take your mind off things. I know that's difficult, but it can help!