Do you tell your spouse when you’re wearing?

[Edgewater]

I am incontinent, so my wife knows I am wearing a diaper. Before, when it was by choice, I didnt hide it from her and she didnt care. I opened up to her at the beginning of our relationship, as she should know what she was getting into. With that said, I actually have a hard time opening up about my incontinence with her. She obviously knows, but as it worsens, I am hesitant to tell her. I think its I feel like a failure. Wearing diapers was something I chose and controlled, but mastery over my bladder and bowel I am losing, and for some reason that is more humiliating too me.

Joey

Being male and open to your dear wife that you are slowing becoming IC is never an easy thing (I had a like discussion regarding my heart issues). We tend to want to be that strong healthy caregiver that she can depend on!

There is no such thing as a great moment, but one has to choose some time when you are both not busy and have the discussion. Regardless of the discussion, the sooner the better! Offer her the opportunity to attend your next meeting with your Medical Team.

 

[Babybear2006]

My ex always knew that I had a diaper on. Every night she would hand me one to put on every night and would hand me one in the morning to change into.

 

[splootbutt]

Those of you that wear around your spouse, how do you handle the more noticeable aspects of wearing? For instance, the tapes on Mega Maxs are incredibly loud. I try to put those on when there is little chance she will hear the tapes. Same thing for removal. Also for disposal, I try to make sure nothing is seen and certainly not smelled. Did you have any discussions with your spouse about those details or kept it more open-ended?

I feel like there is not a lot of discussion here about these transitionary issues. I’ve read through years of threads here and this grey area is still, grey, at least to me. Life exists around the edges, for those that have acceptance from their spouse, how have you dealt with things like a smelly trash can, or hearing diaper tapes?

 

[Leon62]

I wearing at night and there's no need for any one else in the house to know that I'm wearing, very discreet.

 

[Tomtomthedl]

The wife is laying across my mid section while we are on the bed. I'm wearing a super dry kidz under my going out clothes. We are all fixing to go out to eat with the family. She always knows and if she don't I assume she knows I'm wearing. I do wear almost every day. She's amazing.

 

[BOXERSORBRIEFS]

She knows that I'm wearing a diaper every night. I do seldom wear during the day and she usually knows. If we are out somewhere she likes to pat my diaper butt.
She will usually tell me that I should have worn a diaper if I complain about needing to find a bathroom.

 

[ABDLlover]

Some people do a "diaper check" and grab the SO crotch to see if they are wet, I however do a "diaper check" and grab his crotch to see if he is wearing. Never disappointed. Its usually always there.

 

[paul484819]

Hi my wife knows that I wear due to I.C problems, she has even said to your not coming to bed with out a diaper on. I even change in front of her when she goes to toilet as at the time I was in the toilet changing my diaper.

 

[Zeke]

My wife generally doesn’t comment on my wearing unless it’s a public service announcement. She knows I don’t want to out myself outside of the house so to speak. One such occasion was walking our dog and she said “you can totally see you diaper…the back plastic part” in reaction to me bending over to grab his leash off the ground. She no doubt knows my standard times that I’m padded. Evenings watching tv together or mornings after waking up to the point of after breakfast shower.

Although it’s been quite a while since I’ve been married I can see how a better half who doesn’t wear or enjoy diapers could be concerned with what the public sees their special other wearing as it reflects on them and their choices in life. I was a big enough source of embarrassment for my ex wife before I became incontinent, I can’t imagine her being supportive of my need to wear diapers 24/7 for my dual ic as she would’ve likely believed that it would reflect badly on her.

 

[Zeke]

Some people do a "diaper check" and grab the SO crotch to see if they are wet, I however do a "diaper check" and grab his crotch to see if he is wearing. Never disappointed. Its usually always there.

Your husband is a lucky man and our website could use more members like you I believe after reading about your support for his wearing.

 

[SophieGraham]

My partner know that I wear sometimes and is ok with that, but I never tell if I’m wearing or not.
I think it’s different to wear because of medical conditions or wearing by pleasure.

 

[Wetshisbed]

My spouse tells me when im not wearing. ''Get your diaper on before you pee on the floor.''

That is the sort of thing my wife would say.

 

[Napincolove]

No need she suggested Nappies some 28 years ago and I am a 24/7 wearer.

 

[indiaperdl]

As we are both DLs, there is no need. I wear way more than she does. But she loves it, when I am diapered. She says it is who I am and loves me as such and would that part of me, if I would stop wearing diaper.
So in short: No I don't (need) to tell her.

 

[stinkape]

My Lady knows I love diapers and wear them when I get the urge to .
Generally when I wear a diaper I’m silent about it and wear my boxers over them but I’m usually in my boxers anyhow just lounging around . So I don’t know if she knows or not and I like it that way , it makes me feel childishly naughty like I’m hiding something from her. It’s also a bit thrilling getting caught by her and having her say something about it, so it’s a win win game I play .
It’s my fantasy to have her catch me and say “ If you love wearing diapers so much and wetting them , I think you need to stay in them until I say you can stop and further more you will no longer be allowed to use your drinking glass you will use a bottle instead you will also use a binkie when I tell you. The bathroom is off limits and you will only be allowed to use it if you need to make doodeys and that’s with my permission of corse .

 

[warmfeeling]

My wife knows about my diaper kink and has this far taken a live and let live attitude. I’m not looking for her to participate in any way. Hiding a diaper is really not so difficult, especially now in the winter months, but it would be difficult to hide from my wife all day.

Fixing and removing a diaper makes noise. My butt will sag a bit eventually. The occasional smell might give me away. Do you let your spouse know when you are going to wear? Do you have a code?

I didn’t tell my wife about my diaper kink until after we were married. The biggest issue was her feeling a bit betrayed that I didn’t trust her. Hurting her further is the last thing I want to do, but I also need to indulge my desires from time to time.

My wife knows, she can here me rustle around, my fault because I will only buy plastic backed nappies, they are just the best

 

[Subtlerustle]

Although it’s been quite a while since I’ve been married I can see how a better half who doesn’t wear or enjoy diapers could be concerned with what the public sees their special other wearing as it reflects on them and their choices in life. I was a big enough source of embarrassment for my ex wife before I became incontinent, I can’t imagine her being supportive of my need to wear diapers 24/7 for my dual ic as she would’ve likely believed that it would reflect badly on her.

That’s a shame. She clearly couldn’t put herself in the shoes of an incontinent person long enough to check that type of outlook.
In my case my wife has encouraged me to come out as a DL, it’s me that’s apprehensive. Thus if my diaper is visible she lets me know out of concern for me vs her.
She’s a non participating gem.

 

[PaddedCub]

Nah she finds out when she slaps my butt lol. Plus she often wears with me

 

[Nappybum1]

Those of you that wear around your spouse, how do you handle the more noticeable aspects of wearing? For instance, the tapes on Mega Maxs are incredibly loud. I try to put those on when there is little chance she will hear the tapes. Same thing for removal. Also for disposal, I try to make sure nothing is seen and certainly not smelled. Did you have any discussions with your spouse about those details or kept it more open-ended?

I feel like there is not a lot of discussion here about these transitionary issues. I’ve read through years of threads here and this grey area is still, grey, at least to me. Life exists around the edges, for those that have acceptance from their spouse, how have you dealt with things like a smelly trash can, or hearing diaper tapes?

I have recently been opening up to vanilla gf and wondering what other do also. Baby steps haha, i always wear PJ's so my dip is not seen, i also started out wearing medical dips so definitely quiter but i now wear plastic regularly. She can hear them and call the plastic diapers "crinkles". All i can recommend is going slow and being as discreet as possible until things get more comfortable

 

[bret2]

My wife just assumes that I’m always wearing a diaper. So she’s typically surprised when she discovers that I’m not