Do you feel, or have you ever felt shame waring diapers, and if yes, then why?

[SebUK97]

I personally don't feel shame with wearing diapers, and i don't understand why wearing a diaper is viewed so negatively by society at large?

The reasons why those of us who choose to wear diapers are indeed many and varied, but i don't consider the act in and of itself to be particularly controversial.

I know that some people consider that diapers, and use of them, should only be reserved exclusively for babies, or those with a genuine need to wear them, but who determines "need" and aren't all "needs" equally important?

I don't think that anyone should ever be made to feel shame or guilt, as a result of wearing diapers, or be made to feel inadequate. I think that ultimately it is a personal decision, as to what we choose to wear, and our reasons for doing so.

We should not seek devision, or adopt a them and us approach. Acceptance, starts with our own, but equally an understanding of everybody's want's, needs and yes, "desires", is important.

What are your thoughts?

 

[TreeLad]

I would say that it depends on what the setting is. If I'm on my own or it's just me and the wife then no, there's no shame (although it took a long time before I felt like that being with her). Other than that I still feel like it's weird and that I'm doing something wrong.

My wife will be the first one to say that she just doesn't get it and will never understand it. I tried to explain to her just how deep these desires go and that for me it's a need.

She disagrees and says that it's not a need, it's a choice and it's something that I simply choose to do.

She's good to me, when I read of how it comes between some people's relationships, I feel like she puts up with a lot from me. She says she's accepted this side of me. In truth I think she just tolerates it. There are boundaries set in place (which I accept) but those boundaries to me are proof that she doesn't fully understand or accept this side of me.

 

[SebUK97]

I would say that it depends on what the setting is. If I'm on my own or it's just me and the wife then no, there's no shame (although it took a long time before I felt like that being with her). Other than that I still feel like it's weird and that I'm doing something wrong.

My wife will be the first one to say that she just doesn't get it and will never understand it. I tried to explain to her just how deep these desires go and that for me it's a need.

She disagrees and says that it's not a need, it's a choice and it's something that I simply choose to do.

She's good to me, when I read of how it comes between some people's relationships, I feel like she puts up with a lot from me. She says she's accepted this side of me. In truth I think she just tolerates it. There are boundaries set in place (which I accept) but those boundaries to me are proof that she doesn't fully understand or accept this side of me.

Sometimes our choices are influenced by need or desire, but it doesn't make it any less important. I'm happy that your wife, tolerates your needs and desires, albeit with boundaries. While maybe she doesn't fully understand or accept this side of you, she is at least trying.

 

[ThatDiaperDude]

Yes, I did feel a lot of shame wearing diapers and I still do sometimes.
I've been a bedwetter for almost all of the first ~14 years of my life and thus wore diapers pretty much every night. I never felt any shame, it was just the default for me that diapers were my nighttime underwear. I actually quite liked wearing diapers, I liked the convenience, the safety of knowing that I won't wake up in a wet bed the next day and also the cozy feeling of a warm and wet diaper in the morning. When I stopped wetting at night when I was 14, I kept on wearing diapers every night until I was 16. I just wet my diapers in the evening before or sometimes in the morning or when I woke up because I had to pee during the night and it took my parents about two years to notice that I wet on purpose rather than by accident. When they found out, my mother gave me two options. Either I would ditch the diapers and grow up, or go back to the school I went to until I was 14, where I was bullied a lot, which was the reason for my bedwetting. I took the obvious choice, my parents threw away the diapers and everything went on normal for a while.
However, a time came when I started to miss wearing diapers. As fate had it, this time correlated with the time I started working after school to have a bit more money. Thus, what needed to happen happened and I used part of that money to buy myself diapers every now and then. I would order them to a package locker near enough to wear I lived that I would be able to comfortably get there on my scooter and hid them in the box my Xbox 360 came in.
As one might guess by the age range during which I wore and wet diapers, I went through most of puberty in diapers, which led to me having my first orgasm in diapers and also masturbating in my wet overnight diaper quite frequently before getting out of bed in the morning. While I was still a bedwetter (or pretended to be one), it never was a problem for me. Once my parents found out and more or less forced me to get rid of the diapers however, everything changed. My parents accused me of being a baby and a pervert because I wet my diapers on purpose and other things like that. While I still have an okay relationship with my parents, a lot of things did break that day that can't fully be repaired. It also led to me feeling immense shame both when wearing a diaper and even more so when I had an orgasm in a diaper for years after that. I would rip the diaper of instantly after I was done, threw it away and felt like a freak for hours after it. More than once, I was so full of shame and disgusted with myself that I wanted to throw away my stash of diapers (which I never did, but still).
It took me years to fix this and today I'm able to wear diapers without shame, even though I still have problems with having an orgasm in a diaper and then keeping on to wear it as I still feel a lot of shame for wearing a diaper and masturbating in it once I'm done. That problem however was handily fixed by my girlfriend, who just decided to lock my penis in plastic whenever I wear a diaper anyway.

 

[Ali123]

I was occasionally put back into nappies as a punishment when I was a child.

That made me feel very ashamed, which I think was the purpose.

 

[Wetshisbed]

Maybe briefly when my bedwetting came back in my late 40s and I had to start wearing them but it wasn't long before I started enjoying being in them.

 

[SebUK97]

Yes, I did feel a lot of shame wearing diapers and I still do sometimes.
I've been a bedwetter for almost all of the first ~14 years of my life and thus wore diapers pretty much every night. I never felt any shame, it was just the default for me that diapers were my nighttime underwear. I actually quite liked wearing diapers, I liked the convenience, the safety of knowing that I won't wake up in a wet bed the next day and also the cozy feeling of a warm and wet diaper in the morning. When I stopped wetting at night when I was 14, I kept on wearing diapers every night until I was 16. I just wet my diapers in the evening before or sometimes in the morning or when I woke up because I had to pee during the night and it took my parents about two years to notice that I wet on purpose rather than by accident. When they found out, my mother gave me two options. Either I would ditch the diapers and grow up, or go back to the school I went to until I was 14, where I was bullied a lot, which was the reason for my bedwetting. I took the obvious choice, my parents threw away the diapers and everything went on normal for a while.
However, a time came when I started to miss wearing diapers. As fate had it, this time correlated with the time I started working after school to have a bit more money. Thus, what needed to happen happened and I used part of that money to buy myself diapers every now and then. I would order them to a package locker near enough to wear I lived that I would be able to comfortably get there on my scooter and hid them in the box my Xbox 360 came in.
As one might guess by the age range during which I wore and wet diapers, I went through most of puberty in diapers, which led to me having my first orgasm in diapers and also masturbating in my wet overnight diaper quite frequently before getting out of bed in the morning. While I was still a bedwetter (or pretended to be one), it never was a problem for me. Once my parents found out and more or less forced me to get rid of the diapers however, everything changed. My parents accused me of being a baby and a pervert because I wet my diapers on purpose and other things like that. While I still have an okay relationship with my parents, a lot of things did break that day that can't fully be repaired. It also led to me feeling immense shame both when wearing a diaper and even more so when I had an orgasm in a diaper for years after that. I would rip the diaper of instantly after I was done, threw it away and felt like a freak for hours after it. More than once, I was so full of shame and disgusted with myself that I wanted to throw away my stash of diapers (which I never did, but still).
It took me years to fix this and today I'm able to wear diapers without shame, even though I still have problems with having an orgasm in a diaper and then keeping on to wear it as I still feel a lot of shame for wearing a diaper and masturbating in it once I'm done. That problem however was handily fixed by my girlfriend, who just decided to lock my penis in plastic whenever I wear a diaper anyway.

I'm sorry to read that you where bullied during your school years. I'm shocked that your parents resorted to labelling you a baby and a pervert.
Puberty and masturbating go hand in hand, and are perfectly normal behaviour. People, and especially those going through puberty experiment with all manner of different scenarios to enhance the process. So masturbating into a wet diaper is neither bizarre or perverse.

You're not a freak, and i'm sorry that social conditioning made you feel that way! I'm happy that you are now at one with diapers, and no longer feel any shame in wearing them. It's great, that you don't have to hide anything from your girlfriend either.

 

[SebUK97]

I was occasionally put back into nappies as a punishment when I was a child.

That made me feel very ashamed, which I think was the purpose.

Never feel shame, or allow others to make you feel ashamed. Wetting the bed or wearing a diaper is hardly the crime of the century! Accidents happen, and wearing diapers prevents them.

 

[SebUK97]

Maybe briefly when my bedwetting came back in my late 40s and I had to start wearing them but it wasn't long before I started enjoying being in them.

Never feel shame, or allow anyone to make you feel ashamed of wearing a diaper!

 

[Newbaby110521]

I think shame, embarrassment or even self loathing are feelings a lot of ABDL’s experience. I know I have this is one of reasons I was diagnosed with depression. There were others but the isolation from wearing and self hate I felt was a issue. Part of the problem is society particularly in some countries where things like free speech and freedom of the press is suppressed (e.g. Russia, North Korea) or countries that are ruled by a religious body (e.g. Saudi Arabia, Pakistan) if I have made a mistake in how these countries are run my apologies. But even in democratic countries the wearing of nappies is treated with suspicion I have a few theories why:
1. Pedophillia
Now we know that ABDL and pedeophilla are not the same thing but some people might. In recent years this has become a serious issue.
2. Disgust
Many people out there might think ‘Why on earth would someone who is potty trained willingly wear a diaper and pee and poop in it?’ Now I know some of us only wear diapers and some of us only pee in them but bodily messes make people feel icky babies get away with it because they are so cute.
3. Not understanding
ABDL is a broad spectrum and we all do it in our own way for example I find it hard to change my speech and crawl so I don’t I think your living situation can effect this as well. Narrow hallways with wood flooring make it hard to crawl. But people can’t understand why we want act younger than we are when many of us long to grow up. We all have our reasons which are valid but others might not understand and therefore believe there’s a less wholesome reason we’re into this.
4. Mental illness
ABDL is not a mental illness or sign of a lack of intelligence I myself have a Masters Degree and have worked at one of most prestigious libraries in the world. But people can get the wrong idea.

I have sone others but I’m not quite sure how to phrase them and this already a very long post so in closing. I think a lot of us do feel shame and embarrassment even though we shouldn’t and we need to learn we are who we are and the only people who can’t accept that only feel that way because they can’t accept themselves.

 

[SparkyDog]

I personally don't feel shame with wearing diapers, and i don't understand why wearing a diaper is viewed so negatively by society at large?

The reasons why those of us who choose to wear diapers are indeed many and varied, but i don't consider the act in and of itself to be particularly controversial.

I know that some people consider that diapers, and use of them, should only be reserved exclusively for babies, or those with a genuine need to wear them, but who determines "need" and aren't all "needs" equally important?

I don't think that anyone should ever be made to feel shame or guilt, as a result of wearing diapers, or be made to feel inadequate. I think that ultimately it is a personal decision, as to what we choose to wear, and our reasons for doing so.

The diaper stigma
it was decided long ago diapers are for babies
Shame, teasing, bullying & worse was the best way to get kids out of diapers
everyone ate it up and still do it to this day
both kids & adults
unfortunately it won't end

 

[WBxx]

The only person that knows in my real day-to-day life is my wife. So I guess I’m ashamed or at least afraid of their reaction.

 

[DiaperedJeff]

I’m not ashamed of wearing diapers at all. I don’t publicize it, but if people notice it doesn’t matter. It’s only underwear. These days diapers are so openly available and used it is pretty much accepted. You can buy them at our local grocery store!

 

[LittleUK1]

I would say that it depends on what the setting is. If I'm on my own or it's just me and the wife then no, there's no shame (although it took a long time before I felt like that being with her). Other than that I still feel like it's weird and that I'm doing something wrong.

My wife will be the first one to say that she just doesn't get it and will never understand it. I tried to explain to her just how deep these desires go and that for me it's a need.

She disagrees and says that it's not a need, it's a choice and it's something that I simply choose to do.

She's good to me, when I read of how it comes between some people's relationships, I feel like she puts up with a lot from me. She says she's accepted this side of me. In truth I think she just tolerates it. There are boundaries set in place (which I accept) but those boundaries to me are proof that she doesn't fully understand or accept this side of me.

How did you tell her if you don’t mind me asking? How did she react when she first heard?

 

[DiaperedJeff]

First wife I told after about three years of marriage one night. I just showed her my diapers and plastic pants and explained how I liked to wear them. She was very “vanilla” and couldn’t understand it at all. We eventually divorced for other reasons and remain close friends to this day. I met my second wife when I visited her for a professional mommy session. So she knew all about ABDL and “littles”. We eventually fell in love and married. ABDL is not part of our lifestyle now though I still wear diapers and she understands and accepts me for who I am. We have other interests together and a wonderful, loving relationship.

The desire for diapers never goes away so it’s best to just be honest about it.

 

[LittleUK1]

First wife I told after about three years of marriage one night. I just showed her my diapers and plastic pants and explained how I liked to wear them. She was very “vanilla” and couldn’t understand it at all. We eventually divorced for other reasons and remain close friends to this day. I met my second wife when I visited her for a professional mommy session. So she knew all about ABDL and “littles”. We eventually fell in love and married. ABDL is not part of our lifestyle now though I still wear diapers and she understands and accepts me for who I am. We have other interests together and a wonderful, loving relationship.

The desire for diapers never goes away so it’s best to just be honest about it.

Thanks, I know you’re so right. I just think it’s too far gone now, been married for years. Feel it’s not fair to hide it but it’s also not fair to put the stress on her, so decided to keep all to myself and deal with the secrecy.

 

[Kayleigh]

I still feel shame and embarassment over my diaper wearing, no matter how much I try to quash the feelings. It doesn’t stop me from wearing nor does it ruin my enjoyment. But the shame and embarassment are always there and I just don’t let it rise to any level that would be debilitating. And I have been interested in diapers and wearing off and on for many years. I recognize that the diapers meet some illogical need i have, and I keep that uppermost in my mind.
My wife would never tolerate my wearing around her, pushing me to only wear in a separate bedroom. She says she accepts my wearing, but when she can’t even handle being in the same room with me when I am diapered under regular clothes, I can’t help but feel unaccepted. Not being able to openly share and be accepted by her certainly contributes to shame and embarassment.
I am guessing that my shame and embarrassment is something that we all deal with in varying degrees with varying success. Thank you fellow adisc members for helping me accept that need, even if I still can’t figure out why, and also not let any shame or embarassment ruin something I do really enjoy.

 

[LittleUK1]

I still feel shame and embarassment over my diaper wearing, no matter how much I try to quash the feelings. It doesn’t stop me from wearing nor does it ruin my enjoyment. But the shame and embarassment are always there and I just don’t let it rise to any level that would be debilitating. And I have been interested in diapers and wearing off and on for many years. I recognize that the diapers meet some illogical need i have, and I keep that uppermost in my mind.
My wife would never tolerate my wearing around her, pushing me to only wear in a separate bedroom. She says she accepts my wearing, but when she can’t even handle being in the same room with me when I am diapered under regular clothes, I can’t help but feel unaccepted. Not being able to openly share and be accepted by her certainly contributes to shame and embarassment.
I am guessing that my shame and embarrassment is something that we all deal with in varying degrees with varying success. Thank you fellow adisc members for helping me accept that need, even if I still can’t figure out why, and also not let any shame or embarassment ruin something I do really enjoy.

How did your wife find out if you don’t mind me asking? I’m sorry that she won’t be in the same room as you, that feels like an overeaction and I’m not surprised you feel shame and guilt after that, but please know that you, like me, like everyone here, have nothing to feel guilty about when it comes to Abdl desires. I feel guilt and shame occasionally too but always come back to the fact that it’s not harming anyone whatsoever. Life is too short not to try the things you want.

 

[SebUK97]

I think shame, embarrassment or even self loathing are feelings a lot of ABDL’s experience. I know I have this is one of reasons I was diagnosed with depression. There were others but the isolation from wearing and self hate I felt was a issue. Part of the problem is society particularly in some countries where things like free speech and freedom of the press is suppressed (e.g. Russia, North Korea) or countries that are ruled by a religious body (e.g. Saudi Arabia, Pakistan) if I have made a mistake in how these countries are run my apologies. But even in democratic countries the wearing of nappies is treated with suspicion I have a few theories why:
1. Pedophillia
Now we know that ABDL and pedeophilla are not the same thing but some people might. In recent years this has become a serious issue.
2. Disgust
Many people out there might think ‘Why on earth would someone who is potty trained willingly wear a diaper and pee and poop in it?’ Now I know some of us only wear diapers and some of us only pee in them but bodily messes make people feel icky babies get away with it because they are so cute.
3. Not understanding
ABDL is a broad spectrum and we all do it in our own way for example I find it hard to change my speech and crawl so I don’t I think your living situation can effect this as well. Narrow hallways with wood flooring make it hard to crawl. But people can’t understand why we want act younger than we are when many of us long to grow up. We all have our reasons which are valid but others might not understand and therefore believe there’s a less wholesome reason we’re into this.
4. Mental illness
ABDL is not a mental illness or sign of a lack of intelligence I myself have a Masters Degree and have worked at one of most prestigious libraries in the world. But people can get the wrong idea.

I have sone others but I’m not quite sure how to phrase them and this already a very long post so in closing. I think a lot of us do feel shame and embarrassment even though we shouldn’t and we need to learn we are who we are and the only people who can’t accept that only feel that way because they can’t accept themselves.

I don't disagree with what you have written, i do think this. All the time we adopt a fear of shame, embarrassment or even in some instances self loathing of oneself, then we give credence to those who would seek to associate the ABDL community with inappropriate behaviour, and adopt a hostile attitude.

We can't alter countries who seek to ban their citizens right to free speech, or alter counties that adopt, and live by, strict religious beliefs.

I still maintain that ignorance and a lack of understanding, all too often fuels hatred. Only by accepting ourselves, can we rationalise opinions.

 

[Lyric]

I suspect that most, if not all of us feel some amount of shame about wearing diapers, especially those of us who use them to wet, mess or both and who do not have a genuine medical need for protection. That is not to say we are making a simple, easily avoidable, choice to wear diapers and use them. Most people assume that I could easily stop wearing diapers whenever I wanted, and the fact that I continue to engage in such socially aberrant behavior is proof that at best I have a "screw loose" and at worst, I'm infantile, or a pervert or something similar. Simple put, most people find excrement, whether human or otherwise, disgusting, want nothing to do with it, and feel the same about people who more or less revel in their diaper filled waste. Feeling some shame about my behavior, more than a little embarrassment, seems inevitable, and a small cost to pay for all the pleasure it has provided. I wish people were more understanding of folks like me. I've tried so many times over the past 60 years to "grow up, act your age, you're not a child" but I've never been able to stay out of diapers for long. I was a smoker for many years but finally quite for good after many attempts. My need, desire to wear diapers and rubber pants, at least wet and engage in sexual activity while wearing diapers has proven so much more powerful than smoking tobacco. Perhaps I also feel some shame about not having the strength of character or will to stop wearing diapers-I don't know. All I ever really asked was why can't I wear diapers, wet myself, simply enjoy being myself around my family and friends and not have to hide what I'm wearing. It's wasn't until I met my wife that I gained some semblance of acceptance about this. My wife more than tolerates my diaper dependency, she supports that side of me and participates as much as she can. But at the same time she will also admit she doesn't understand why it turns me on so much to wear diapers and wet myself.

I don't say this to feel sorry for myself. The truth is wearing diapers has always been a small, but important part of my life. I managed to have a successful career, raise a family, participate in broader social and community matters, even be a leader in some important matter and live with my diaper life. And most importantly, I have enjoyed so much pleasure in my life wearing diapers, even though many years when I kept it hidden from the world.