Do all DL's have some component of AB in them?

[TeeMousy]

I think it's a sliding scale. Exactly where that line is will very from person to person, and from day to day.

 

[BenNevis]

As others have said I think it's a spectrum, so for at least a subset of people who are DLs, they won't have anything AB at all.

On one end, you've got people who wear nappies and don't have any AB feelings at all. They may be wearing due to incontinence or they may just enjoy the feeling of wearing for any number of reasons. AB stuff does not come into any of that. This might be seen in the fact that DLs with absolutely no AB feelings at all seem to prefer either plain white nappies or the more medical products which are there to do their job. No extra prints, nothing little.

On the other end, you've got adult babies and littles who really enjoy wearing as it's part of how they regress and get into the headspace of being a little one. It will generally be one part of a wider number of things that helps someone feel comfy and little (like onesies or teddies), but the idea here is that wearing nappies is specifically connected to feeling little for this group.

But a lot of people are somewhere in the middle, a mix of the two. It might be someone started off more DL and then discovered an AB side. Or they always knew they had a little side and worked up over time to wearing. Whatever someone might feel they are, it's all valid. I just don't think it's really possible to fit us all into neat little boxes since being AB or DL or whatever variation of that is so personal and can be understood so differently.

 

[sbmccue]

While I don't know the book, and thus haven't read it, I guess that there is much that I disagree with in it, just from your short description.

I bought it and read it. There's just no way I'd give it to my SO to read. Not everyone who is an infantilist is a fit subject for the female-led relationship the author advocates.

I agree: The 'all or nothing' approach is troubling. When I'm a baby, she's very much in control. But we compartmentalize the AB activity in order to juxtapose other facets of our lives. Neither she nor I would want a female-led relationship to dominate our lives. From my perspective, we're equal partners. And even though I'm dynamic and forceful, she wins that contest, too.

Diapering, bathing, feeding, etc., should be a loving act ... not a coercion tool. I reciprocate with flowers, dinners out and all the love I can shower on my SO. I'm convinced that if what I do isn't enough at some point, she'll tell me ... not use it against me.

 

[Bigbabybret]

So, my take on pretty much anything...

There is NO absolute.

I think everyone has some AB in them, not just DL's but everyone.

It may be a small amount, but i think everyone has something they like that is less than thier age, and/or wish they were younger and/or items that a kid would be the primary target for.

Look at the PJ's these days, SO MANY kids themes and cartoons on and things like the amount of people that have stuffies that are not AB and so many other things that a lot of people would consider AB on here but are "main stream" or IMHO they are just that people all have some amount of AB in them, just as everyone is on the autism scale, etc...Noone is 100% anything we are a bit too complex of being to be 100% or 0% anything (as referance to things possible for humans that is)

So, me, i say i'm not AB per se, but I like footed pj's and i use a sippy cup (drop my water all the time) and also have one stuffed animal (was given to me in the hospital by my ex's son) and sometimes i act younger and i'm ver sarcastic, so i have some AB things, but i don't get into or think like a child, just dont have a mindset like that, but still like some childish things for sure.

So, i also HATE that people are so wanting to put themself into some sorta group or define thierself as a certain "type" or association. Being in a catagory limits your thinking IMHO and just do what you feel like, no catagory need be involved in any way.

 

[ElPulpo]

Nope.
I'm an adult DL. Maybe I have that small amout "something they like that is less than their age", but that "less than my age" is 30 at most. I have no intention to be 20 or younger, no printed pyjamas or other "mainstream AB" stuff.
Not that I didn't try - I admit that after I read about AB, I did experiment with printed diapers and baby bottles. It was a complete waste of money because I just felt extremely silly and nothing else.

I'm very certain my DL side emerged from childish curiosity and the association of that warm soft feeling around my crotch with the first hints of pleasurable feelings that would become sexual during later years. I liked the feelings diapers gave me, then I got aroused by them, nowadays I love them, but just in a sensual, not in any symbolic way.

I guess, if I had experimented with raspberries instead, I could have turned into a raspberry lover.

 

[LittleTyke]

So, i also HATE that people are so wanting to put themself into some sorta group or define thierself as a certain "type" or association. Being in a catagory limits your thinking IMHO and just do what you feel like, no catagory need be involved in any way.

Slightly off-topic: I find it hilarious, and a bit saddening, when people label themselves with their astrological sign, and seem to believe that this defines or explains everything about their personality...

That said, I believe that it is necessary for us to have some common terms in order to communicate, so other people can understand what we are writing. But we certainly can't see the terms as absolutes, or believe that a single label describes everything.

 

[Deleted member 80397]

This is a bit of a common question, but one so misunderstood, because there are so many people that are on both sides of the field.

AB: Adult baby - Enjoys acting like a baby, May potentially use diapers. Littlespace, babyspace, etc.
DL: Diaper lover - Has a special interest and focus of diapers. May potentially NOT act like a baby, but enjoys diapers outside of littlespace
ABDL: Adult baby diaper lover - Enjoys acting like baby, Has a special interest in diapers.
TB: Teen Baby - A younger aged AB commonly 16-20
Babyfur - A little who enjoys acting like a baby animal. May potentially use diapers, littlespace, babyspace, etc.
Diaperfur - A Furry who enjoys and has a special interest in diapers
CG: Caregiver: one who takes care of littles or middles in an age dynamic.

To answer the question, that DL's may want to get a change but not be babied during it, may not want to enjoy a bottle etc. They may potentially just enjoy a diaper as an interest in ONLY diapers, but not every DL is like this. Some are a blend (hence AB/DL) Just as @LittleTyke says above, it is critical not to limit thinking, as it is not a special club of "You on this side and you on that side" We are trying to be together not to segregate. What I can say with confidence is knowing the different types can help you understand and be respectful to the community in a meet.

For example, a DL walks up to you, your not going to toss them a toy and expect them to toss it back, but if you are a AB, and they are an AB, there may be a mutual (of course respectful and planned) understanding of generally how to treat each other. In plain english, we can understand littlespace of each other and how to react and what to say. A DL may wear a diaper and may be totally in adult headspace, where a baby bunny like me (AB/BF) will be unable to think straight and become a babbly mess as soon as I am padded up where I cant do anything but whimper nonverbally and be adorable!

Hope it helps!
-Bunny snug!

 

[Tine]

I posted this as a response to another thread, but it is something I think I'd like ideas on separate from that thread.

I consider myself 100% DL. Recently, my partner read, "So Your Husband is a DL." The Author makes the argument that DL's all have some component of AB in them and that no true DL's exist. My partner asked me a list of questions from the book and the result has me questioning my presumption that I am pure DL. At first, I considered the possibility that the author (Joyce Kinnebrew) and I had a different working definition of what an AB is, however, the research on understanding infantilism suggest she may be correct. The "ABDL triangle" proposes any interest in humiliation/loss of status/loss of control or desire for role change are AB qualities.

I never considered loss of control an AB quality (but more of a sub quality) and now I'm conflicted after believing I was pure DL for over 20 years.

This all started with me trying 24/7 and the introduction of some D/s play. I found the suggestion of this book somewhere on the internet and I bought it. That said, I did exactly what the author requested and, initially, did not read it (until my girlfriend did). The Author suggest, in the case of the book, the wife goes along with the 24/7 diaper idea as long as she gets more control. She proposes a safeword that would end the whole thing and afterwards she would refuse to involve herself from that point forward if it is invoked. I like my partner being involved and being accepting of the 24/7 diaper idea (and frankly, I'd hate to lose it because I accept myself more, have more confidence, overcame the vicious binge/purge cycle, i am happier, I am less anxious [my actual blood pressure and heart rate have gone down significantly], etc.). So, if asked if I would use my safeword if my partner wanted to spoonfeed me or bathe me at the risk of her never being involved again, I said no. I find this manipulative, but I'm finding it hard to disagree with the author that if I'm not willing to use my safeword, part of me is okay with it or, at the very least, not so bothered by it to leave it all behind. So...maybe I am part AB?...I don't know. I also don't think it likely matters if at the end I'm happier.


I'm curious though, do you think all DL's are slightly AB? If you had a partner willing to go all in and be involved with general diaper stuff and completely accept it, what would you be okay with to keep it? Do many DL's, as she suggest, enjoy some humiliation? Another book takes it a step further and suggest all men like being babied, which is different from being a "baby," but shares some similarities.

I'm not a diaper lover, and definitely not an 'Adult Baby' in perspective or mind. I wear them because I have to, and I do not like the fact.

That said, what people choose to do that doesn't harm anyone else is perfectly fine in my book. To each their own is a good motto.

 

[Dakota13]

As I grow as a person, I find more about myself every day. I'm a very very high % DL, but depending on how you look at it, there may be a little more to my personality/tendencies. Diapers: I like my plain white diapers, and pink, and purple, and cute ones, and prints, and other designs. I like ab designed diapers, but I don't believe that carried to the mindset.

I have a plushie that I sleep with every now and then diapered, on top of the sheets, sleeping in belly, now that for me comes with a certain subset of feelings: exposed, and not in control. While this is almost completely opposite of my normal personality. Kinda hard to explore, as it is borderline uncomfortable to not be on guard and unexposed.

I don't find the idea of being babied that attractive, or feasible. I don't suck my thumb, I've tried pacifiers, drinking out of a bottle seems extremely impractical for me, and the rest of the ab spectrum hasn't really applied.

All that said, different experiences shape a person, constantly learning new things every day about myself, I'm sure if it worked out in the right situation I could maybe learn to appreciate things more, but who knows.

 

[Bigbabybret]

Slightly off-topic: I find it hilarious, and a bit saddening, when people label themselves with their astrological sign, and seem to believe that this defines or explains everything about their personality...

That said, I believe that it is necessary for us to have some common terms in order to communicate, so other people can understand what we are writing. But we certainly can't see the terms as absolutes, or believe that a single label describes everything.

Yes, i get needing a term like AB meaning something in general to all people that read it.

But what is see all the time is people asking things if the are ab, or dl or whatever.

The answer is YES to all the above, especially if you have to ask.

But, what they seem to want is to define thier own self by the term of say being an AB.

Asking, "I like pretending im 5yo, am i an AB" the answer is frankly YES as everyone has some bit of ABness in them.

But to ask that is, from what i thnk, to pigeonhole thier own self into being an AB and then to do the AB things they see/hear and then live by that esoteric set of random posts as to what an AB is. They then say they have a hard time "Using a bottle" or dont like something, and ask why is that, and does that make me not an AB...where the answer there is NO.

This IMHO is just not needed, there is no right or wrong way to express your own self, no one gender, no one AB, no one DL, no one SUB, no one TOP, no one religion, or one version of anything in life.

You do you!

There is no need to be in some "Club" where you are to do X thing to be that way, that is some form of abuse either self imposed or externally enforced.

Everyone has some amount of every genre in them to some degree, and that is just how it is, and IMHO anyone that says they dont have any X thing in them ever in thier life is deluding themself and/or restricting thier own self expression.

Sorry for the aside
Just my 2 cents

 

[Napincolove]

Only D/L as AB does nothing for me, however as previously said each to their own and so long as it does not affect others why not.
I have always had a "thing" for Nappies and suffered with my bladder since childhood and now find Nappies are essential to daily life as other methods result in reccuring infections.
I now look on Nappies as a very adult thing and not at all babyish.

 

[sbmccue]

one day I just wasn't interested in AB anymore. I purged all my AB stuff and haven't looked back. It's been years now already and haven't had a desire be AB.

This makes you even more an object of my esteem!

I would gladly give anything I have to be able to wake up tomorrow without a thought to 'playing baby' or trying to regress.

 

[JDCH]

No, I don't think so. When I was a baby DL, I thought going the AB route would really get me into the lifestyle. I tried it a few times but I just ended up feeling silly. I am happy for other people to enjoy it but I eventually realized it wasn't for me and that I was more comfortable in the DL lane.

 

[MrDiaperLoverUK]

Even though I’m a Diaper Lover but I do have adult size Dummies/Pacifiers and adult sized Baby Bottles with my Adult Nappies/Diapers and that is it that I’m going to own so does that made me an Adult Baby?

 

[mantilla]

My desire for diapers was already there in the early childhood with no desire for pacifiers, bottles or similar things.

I discovered the "AB side" much later (maybe in my early 20ies) and while I still consider myself more DL than AB, I certainly have an AB component that I was not aware of for a long time.

 

[Edgewater]

Wow! I was going to say that being IC brings clarity to this discussion, but...
The wonders of the Human-self is that we are a blend of one's experiences.
Enjoy being what makes you, you!

 

[artemisenterri]

Wow! I was going to say that being IC brings clarity to this discussion, but...
The wonders of the Human-self is that we are a blend of one's experiences.
Enjoy being what makes you, you!

Not always possible when surrounded by people who won't allow you to be yourself...

 

[Edgewater]

Not always possible when surrounded by people who won't allow you to be yourself...

Remember, that 90% is in your mind! Be you in your mind 100% of the time!

 

[artemisenterri]

Remember, that 90% is in your mind! Be you in your mind 100% of the time!

Uh, it's not "in my mind" when i've had someone specifically tell me she won't allow me to purchase, transport, own, store, or wear diapers...

 

[Edgewater]

Uh, it's not "in my mind" when i've had someone specifically tell me she won't allow me to purchase, transport, own, store, or wear diapers...

Well, to be here, you have to be over 18 years old!
Time to ask yourself, what you want to do for the balance of your life!
You have made choices to get to this point.