PurpleScorpion
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 381
- Role
- Little
- Other
So the creator of the Suikoden series did a Kickstarter to make a spiritual successor in the Migthy No. 9/Bloodstained: Symphony of the Night vein, called Eiyuden Chronicles: Hundred Heroes. One of the stretch goals reached was an action-RPG prequel, Rising, which just dropped today.
Early on, sixteen year old treasure hunter protagonist CJ needs her weapon repaired at a local smithy, and while there with lizard-man merchant Hogan, meets up with a kangaroo man mercenary named Garoo who wants his sword sharpened. Hogan suggests they join up because Garoo's monster of a sword could knock down a rock wall that blocks CJ's path, and... well, here's the exchange in full:
Garoo: I got no interest in babysittin', alright? She doesn't even look toilet trained.
CJ: Babysitting?! I'm remarkably mature for my age! Everyone at home says so! Ask any of 'em! AND I was toilet trained by one and a half, I'll have you know! That's what my grandmother told me! So speak for yourself!
Bystander A: What's happening here?
Bystander B: Something about a toilet train?
Blacksmith Tatara: Hey! Knock it off! People are starting to talk!
(Short dialogue regarding CJ's past and motivation, semantics about 'scavenger' vs 'treasure hunter', and how she's looking to complete a rite of passage from where she lives)
Garoo: So this, "rite of passage" then... you're doin' it now?
CJ: Yup!
Garoo: So I was right. Barely toilet trained.
CJ: Oi! We've already talked about that!
(Hogan calms things down, CJ boasts about her skills, and Garoo finally acquiesces to a partnership)
Garoo: Cocky, ain'tcha? ...fair enough. Partners.
Hogan: That's the spirit!
CJ: So you'll be apologizing then, I take it? "CJ's been toilet trained since a year and a half!" Nice and loud for everyone to hear.
Garoo: ...You what, mate?
Hogan: Come on now, Garoo. You really gon' let yer pride get in the way of a good partnership? Chin up! Ain't no shame in it.
Garoo: Why should I have to... ugh, fine. Have it your way. CJ's been toilet trained since one and a half.
CJ: Bit louder!
Garoo: CJ's been toilet trained since one and a half!
CJ: And once more for good measure!
Garoo: CJ'S BEEN TOILET TRAINED SINCE ONE AND A HALF!
CJ: Aaaand again!
(Scene Transition to another thing, ending this bit.)
It isn't voice acted but boy I wish it was. Even outside of my... personal context and this website, it's hysterical.
Early on, sixteen year old treasure hunter protagonist CJ needs her weapon repaired at a local smithy, and while there with lizard-man merchant Hogan, meets up with a kangaroo man mercenary named Garoo who wants his sword sharpened. Hogan suggests they join up because Garoo's monster of a sword could knock down a rock wall that blocks CJ's path, and... well, here's the exchange in full:
Garoo: I got no interest in babysittin', alright? She doesn't even look toilet trained.
CJ: Babysitting?! I'm remarkably mature for my age! Everyone at home says so! Ask any of 'em! AND I was toilet trained by one and a half, I'll have you know! That's what my grandmother told me! So speak for yourself!
Bystander A: What's happening here?
Bystander B: Something about a toilet train?
Blacksmith Tatara: Hey! Knock it off! People are starting to talk!
(Short dialogue regarding CJ's past and motivation, semantics about 'scavenger' vs 'treasure hunter', and how she's looking to complete a rite of passage from where she lives)
Garoo: So this, "rite of passage" then... you're doin' it now?
CJ: Yup!
Garoo: So I was right. Barely toilet trained.
CJ: Oi! We've already talked about that!
(Hogan calms things down, CJ boasts about her skills, and Garoo finally acquiesces to a partnership)
Garoo: Cocky, ain'tcha? ...fair enough. Partners.
Hogan: That's the spirit!
CJ: So you'll be apologizing then, I take it? "CJ's been toilet trained since a year and a half!" Nice and loud for everyone to hear.
Garoo: ...You what, mate?
Hogan: Come on now, Garoo. You really gon' let yer pride get in the way of a good partnership? Chin up! Ain't no shame in it.
Garoo: Why should I have to... ugh, fine. Have it your way. CJ's been toilet trained since one and a half.
CJ: Bit louder!
Garoo: CJ's been toilet trained since one and a half!
CJ: And once more for good measure!
Garoo: CJ'S BEEN TOILET TRAINED SINCE ONE AND A HALF!
CJ: Aaaand again!
(Scene Transition to another thing, ending this bit.)
It isn't voice acted but boy I wish it was. Even outside of my... personal context and this website, it's hysterical.