curious about your thoughts

[mrsmallory666]

I was watching a video from a Pro Mommy and she stated that she thinks abdls should seek Mommies or caregivers who are also DL. Basically, if a Mommy isn't also a DL, they do not grasp or understand the importance of let's say, diaper checking, etc. What are your thoughts on this? I am not a DL but do enjoy the bond that Changing diapers can bring, as I am an early childhood teacher. I enjoy all aspects of being a caregiver or Mommy, as I find it emotionally fulfilling. Thank you!! And Hope everyone is doing well.

 

[babyboyd]

I think that’s a very accurate assessment, I’ve been with both DL and non DL partners a non DL partner doesn’t truly grasp no matter how hard they may try how deep all this runs in an AB/DL person

 

[Belarin]

I would say you don't need to be ABDL yourself to be a good CG, if you have a strong bond with an AB in your life and the right maternal/paternal mindset then it can work out just fine.

That said it would definitely help bring a deeper understanding of the emotional state and thought process of an AB allowing you a better grasp on how best to engage them and provide the right kind of care, Though I've also met plenty of ABDL folk who would make terrible caregivers for many different reasons, it all comes down to how well an individual understands the role of a CG and the needs/desires of the one they are caring for.

 

[Nowididit]

Just a few questions before diving into such a relationship.



What happens when the caregiver/mommy/daddy wants some DL time and wants to reverse roles?

What happens when the caregiver/mommy/daddy and the little/DL/AB want to be the ones taken care of at the same moment?

Does the caregiver/DL/AB/Little throw a temper tantrum?

Do they both throw spontaneous simultaneous temper tantrums till one gets their way?

Does the other hold animosity towards the one that got their way?

Imo I don't believe that 2 ABDLs can be involved in such a give and take relationship. Speaking from experience from being an ABDL, this kink can lead us to be quite selfish and self centered. 2 ABDLs in such a relationship could become quite explosive and I honestly believe at the beginning it'll be great but the relationship is doomed and will end because there will never be a happy medium to both ABDLs meeting the needs of their partner.

 

[Belarin]

Imo I don't believe that 2 ABDLs can be involved in such a give and take relationship. Speaking from experience from being an ABDL, this kink can lead us to be quite selfish and self centered. 2 ABDLs in such a relationship could become quite explosive and I honestly believe at the beginning it'll be great but the relationship is doomed and will end because there will never be a happy medium to both ABDLs meeting the needs of their partner.

It could happen but would take some working out, I'd also remove the DL from the statement, I can see how two AB's together might not work out as hoped but someone who is just a DL might not have the same desires to be looked after as an AB and could be quite happy dealing with their own diapers while being a CG to an AB without too much issue. depends again on the individuals and what the expect/want/need.

 

[Nowididit]

It could happen but would take some working out, I'd also remove the DL from the statement, I can see how two AB's together might not work out as hoped but someone who is just a DL might not have the same desires to be looked after as an AB and could be quite happy dealing with their own diapers while being a CG to an AB without too much issue. depends again on the individuals and what the expect/want/need.

I don't know any DL that doesn't love being diapered and being changed. And many DLs here would love to have a relationship with a partner that diapers and changes them, to feel and experience that sort of intimacy some of us experience. It's something that once it happens we yearn for more of it.
If the DL in the relationship is solely focused on the AB partner without any reciprocation because the AB partner is rather selfish and self centered then sooner or later the animosity will start to build. Even if there are some set guidelines both parties agreed upon at the get go, I still don't believe it would work out in the long run. If it does then I believe it would be extremely rare.
It's like I said before, this ABDL kink has a way of turning the beholder selfish and self centered. I don't care where one falls if we are denied we can get extremely anxious and sooner or later that anxiety causes us lash out at those closest to us until our needs are fulfilled.

 

[Davvyboy]

I was watching a video from a Pro Mommy and she stated that she thinks abdls should seek Mommies or caregivers who are also DL. Basically, if a Mommy isn't also a DL, they do not grasp or understand the importance of let's say, diaper checking, etc. What are your thoughts on this? I am not a DL but do enjoy the bond that Changing diapers can bring, as I am an early childhood teacher. I enjoy all aspects of being a caregiver or Mommy, as I find it emotionally fulfilling. Thank you!! And Hope everyone is doing well.

That is a wonderful way of describing being a caregiver…..emotionally fulfilling.
The world needs more lovely people like you .

 

[PaddedRita]

Its fine as long both party know what they want from it ,also don't board cast it in public !
I'm not a AB, maybe a little of a DL , we do have a very caring and loving partnership !

 

[sbmccue]

I don't believe a mommy-type or CG has to be a DL to provide care to an AB or DL. What they do need to possess, as I wrote in both Sitter Search and Tender Loving Fun, is a wealth of actual childcare experience. In other words, you don't have to 'be' an AB or DL to understand the importance of, say, diaper checks ... assuming you've spent enough time around 'real' infants and toddlers and have developed the habit of checking diapers periodically to determine whether a diaper change is necessary.

For many of the women I've had babysitting me over the years, adapting their infant caregiving experience to a 'big baby' was a challenge ... not because they did not know what to do, but because of the mechanical issues involved. Once the physical challenges of 'babying' an adult have been mastered, the care provided pretty well translates, assuming the mommy or CG has a good deal of 'real' baby care experience to draw from.

In a broader sense, believing that a prospective caregiver or mommy needs to be an AB or DL herself would be horrendously limiting. Searching for a babysitter would be infinitely more difficult if I believed that an AB or DL personality was required.