Incontinence is the inability to hold your bowes or urine. Going often is not incontinence (though is often an I dicator something is wrong and you need to see a dictor). Now involuntary leaking a little when lifting something, that is incontinence.
And ignore the whole of the internet when researching abdl. Even those among us here have a hard tume understanding what dl is (hint, it's not a fetish). General society is even more so clueless about it too, and will make rash, missleading, and outright wrong accusations that are best ignored.